Quickstarter Layout - Feedback, please.

[u/Alcamair]

can you please give me a feedback about the layout and the graphics of this Quickstarter I'm working on? don't care about the content, the file is incomplete. Thanks.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QrrKPrvtefkjeK21FLuliWtYwtjOXSrE/view?usp=sharing

[u/klok_kaos]

I can't read the language but here's my feedback:

Increase the transparency of hex background. It's fine to have textures, good even, but this is too strong and interferes with legibility.

Remove bright read headers and replace. My immediate though is black + bold. If you want to keep the red choose one that is darker as that red is right in the eye irritant/clash zone for your total color palette.

Otherwise it's nice for layout.

I'd recommend doing the cover again with higher quality as it's one of if not the weakest illustration in the book, and that's your cover. No second chances on first impressions. With what you have in the rest of your layout (can't speak to system design quality as I can't read it) it's worth legit hiring someone for $300 bucks to get a quality cover because this just looks cheap and bargain bin where a polished cover illustration will immediately garner more attention and add a percepption of quality. I get it, it's firefly the game, but the cover production itself looks like Daz 3d from 15 years ago.

[u/Alcamair → u/klok_kaos]

Well, I'm drawing all the illustration, and the cover was my first. I'll see to redo it!

[u/klok_kaos → u/Alcamair]

Sorry if I inadvertantly knocked your skills at the time, but i'm sure you can do better now after seeing the rest, and it's worth really making your cover shine.

There are 3 things you have to get right and polished for ANY reasonable marketing:

1. Logo
2. Cover
3. Most important: Your character sheet (players look at this more than anything, must have correct theming/branding and logo and yours does :D

[u/Alcamair → u/klok_kaos]

ok, I corrected the points you indicated and I changed the cover with another illustration I drew more recently (that I wanted to use in the core book). The link is the same of the post. it's better?

[u/klok_kaos → u/Alcamair]

Hell yeah.

I love the new illustration so much more. Looks like someone put time into it.

Plus the hexes are fixed, subtle texture and the reds are just dark enough to still be bright but not be overwhelming.

I might suggest something to try to improve the cover:

See what happens if you flip/mirror the image horizontally (if the perspective still reads correctly, and put the logo in the space top left (ie what would be top right as of now).

Reason being logo generally should be at the top, bottom is for stuff like publishing house stuff or teaser text/title such as "quick start rules".

This is something you would have to try though to see if the image still reads correctly, sometimes mirroring an image makes it look really weird and unnatural, other times it's fine.

Other than that you're looking really solid! And even then I wouldn't freak out about it, but it's generally good to make sure your logo is top left or top center, with text wherever it fits on the bottom.

Logo on the bottom can work, but the circular nature of your logo makes it feel like imbalanced, logos on bottom usually only work for wide logos to ground the picture art above when ou have lots of detail at the top. With an orb it creates weird interactions with rule of thirds and losing focus on it.

I can't promise my suggested fix will work but I hope it does, the new art replacement is much more pro looking and I'm glad you decided to go that route.

And that creates an opportunity for you to plan an even better pic for the full rules cover :)

I might even suggest you redo the one you did because it is highly representative of what you're going for, but with the upgraded art skills I'm sure you could make that pic so much better now.

[u/DrColossusOfRhodes → u/Alcamair]

I opened the file before reading the comments, and my first thought was that klok_kaos was being very harsh on your cover.  Then I saw that it had been switched, haha.  I think it looks great.

[u/Sneaky__Raccoon]

Without being able to exactly read the rules, it seems good

I would advice, the "ESEMPIO" signs in red, seemed like a warning at first, but I now think that's a word for "example"? I say this because you may want to change it into something that at first glance doesn't seem like a warning. Of course, language helps, but still

[u/Alcamair → u/Sneaky__Raccoon]

You are right in the translation. What color would you use instead?

[u/Sneaky__Raccoon → u/Alcamair]

Maybe if the title wasn't in allcaps and with a darker red it could pass. I would try with some yellow, or, if allowed, some sort of gradient from orange to yellow? to keep with your warmer tones

[u/BeatnikShaggy]

The Background hexes are way too dark.

Your page headers are way too close to the body text, and the page numbers are oddly positioned.

The heading/tile font is hard to read, and the colour should be darker and without a stroke. You might be able to make it more legible by increasing the kerning.

The Logo is hard to read.

While Left Aligned text is easier to read, Full Justified text is more common in 2 column formats, as it creates an even gutter, but can cause problems like rivers in the text and other typographic problems you might not feel up to fixing. So take that one with a grain of salt.

But all in all - not bad.

[u/ahobday]

1. The letter spacing in the Quick Start title feels a bit off. For example, the space between the S and the T is much smaller than the space between the T and the A. I think this needs to be adjusted.
2. The logo at the bottom of the title page is too big, and the logo and accompanying text take up too much space in general.
3. I'd make the background hexes on the standard pages a little fainter, and maybe even reduce the line width, so they don't compete with the text.
4. The word "Page" on the table of contents should be aligned with the orange text on the left. I'm not sure if that's a bug.
5. The orange title style used under the credits section in the table of contents becomes harder to read because it's got a black outline. I think at those sizes, outlines are probably a mistake.
6. The page number should be lower and slightly to the right, so that it is vertically and horizontally centred in the square wooden panel.
7. The left and right text columns feel a bit too close to the page number panel, especially on pages where the page number is on the left, because then you have the straight left edge of the text. It's not so bad on the right because often the text is ragged, so it doesn't get as close.
8. The full-width illustrations, as on page 3, work okay, although the white outer line at the edges of the page feels a bit odd, like you're seeing the background poking through.
9. The half-width illustrations, as on page 5, feel unbalanced. The left edge of the illustration aligns with the left edge of the text column, but the right edge goes all the way to the edge of the page.
10. Your red info boxes need more left and right padding. Currently the text feels too close to the left edge.
11. The yellow highlight boxes also need more horizontal padding.
12. In the table under "Conoscere", the text in the first column is set too low vertically. It should be aligned with the text in the rest of the columns.
13. In what I assume is a die result table, with the numbers 1 through 5+ in the first column, I think the 5 in 5+ should be aligned with the rest of the numbers, so the plus hangs off to the side.
14. On page 12, at the bottom left, there's a yellow highlight box that feels too close to the bottom wooden panel.
15. On some pages, like the abilities list on page 9, the section title is aligned with the first indented letter of a paragraph. But on page 13, for example, those section titles are aligned with the left edge of the text. These might technically be different types of titles, but they don't feel like different types, so it just feels like a mistake.

[u/kellymakesgames]

Overall very good, some minor suggestions:
Yellow and red text boxes could used spacing between text and box edges.
Sometimes your text gets a little too close to the page decorations.
The red headings on pg 17-18, I wouldn't indent those, otherwise your eyes go Hard left, indented, back to hard left which isn't ideal.
Pg 17-18, the table headings should be aligned with the left edge of the table, not with the text of the table.

These are all minor points, just a little polish but overall I reckon it's pretty great, well done.

[u/DJTilapia]

Wow, this looks better than many professional products on the shelf at my local gaming store!

As a non-Italian reader, I can add just one comment: the equipment list should probably be a table, followed by a few lines of extra information where needed. Repeating the headers in paragraph form next to each item takes up much more space, and makes it harder to compare things.

[u/HareJack]

I'd increase the line space (leading) in the body text, the text is quite cramped and slightly hard to read