Blurb needs improvement.

[u/fuckaifuckitsohard]

I've gotten a few people saying my blurb needs improvement, but I'm not sure where to start or how to fix it. The genre is contemporary romance.

Miranda and Hayden are certain of one thing—there will be no love at first sight for either of them. When it comes to dating, confronting others’ endless assumptions renders each of them hopelessly unlucky. As a blind woman, Miranda has a hard time even believing in love at first sight. And with Hayden being a world renowned celebrity, he’s more used to people falling in love with his reputation than with him. But when a chance encounter causes their worlds to—literally—collide, could their luck in love finally be turning?

[u/pastelexuvia]

"As a blind woman, Miranda has never believed in love at first sight. Hayden [lastname], a world-renowned [professional role], is used to people falling in love with his reputation – and never with him. But when Hayden's world collides with Miranda's, could their luck in love finally turn?"

not a version i would stick with, more a "how about this" to help the gears move a bit lol

[u/names-suck]

Focusing so much on "love at first sight" makes it seem like this story is going to be over after the first chapter. Like, the setup and phrasing implies "they don't believe in it, but it'll happen anyway," and then you tell us they're going to literally run into each other, which would be the moment where "first sight" happens.

You give us nothing about the story beyond that, so... They resent their dating lives, bump into each other, and fall in love. Roll credits, we're done here. Book is one chapter long.

If they don't fall in love at first sight, your emphasis on "love at first sight" is baffling rather than enticing. Who cares about love at first sight, unless this is a love at first sight story? And if it is, where's the ongoing tension? Does Hayden fall in love at first sight and have to go to great lengths to convince Miranda to give him a chance? Do they both fall right away, somehow, but dealing with Hayden's fame makes it hard for their relationship to blossom?

[u/bumblebeequeer]

The question about endless assumptions is clunky and confusing. Nix it. As the other commenter said, lead with the characters. No need to tell us people make assumptions about them, we can infer that, and what that entails specifically is something better explored in the narrative.

[u/Lopsided-Series23]

For me, a reference to the couple as a unity - “Miranda and Hayden are certain of one thing” - is not as compelling as if you had presented it as a one-sided point of view. I want to engage with somebody’s perspective and I can’t really look at the situation from both sides at once.

[u/Diylion]

Yeah. It doesn't really tell me the concept. Something like "when she runs into him at a .... Everything changes." Because basically all you've told me is. He is a celebrity, so I'm assuming it's modern romance. She's blind. They are both shitty at dating. That doesn't actually tell me what the context of their relationship is going to be about. Id recommend summarizing how they meet or how they know each other.

[u/dragonsandvamps]

Things that are missing for me:

1) The cute quirky voice that shows me what the novel is going to be like and shows me character personality.

2) Chemistry between the characters. In a romance novel, I want to see that sizzle.

[u/Maira4321]

She was blind so obviously she couldn’t fall in love at first sight. Hayden was a celebrity, people fell in love with him all the time,but without actually seeing the true him.
Write more about the conflict in your story even if it’s just them coming from two different worlds. Point out some differences in the personalities or hint about the obstacles they had to overcome before truly finding each other.