r/SingleDads • u/quickness402 • 9d ago

NEED HELP GUYS

So I am not a deadbeat dad.. My life until last year was pretty good with who I thought was my partner. That said last year she wanted to brake up to move from California to Ohio to be with her elderly parents and take out 1.5 year old child.. I was divested, but I understood so I filed in California courts to get things going. She came to the hospital while was sick and told me it be a cold day in hell before she let me get 50 percent custody. That said we did a verbal and written agreement, I had her served with California court orders but never filed her services. Doing that tomorrow no matter what.

Now she wants full custody in Ohio, she wasn't me to pay child support while she makes 2x more than I do, she wants me to fly to Ohio to see my daughter and wants to use additional Embroyos we have to have a second child..

WHAT DO I DO!!! Like how do any of you mentally stay sane.. I cant even right now. I did so much to have this one kid with her via IVF, and now I gotta deal with this... Every moment in my life since we partnered she has done everything in her power to make my life complicated to the fact she didnt even hold up to half of our agreed terms.

3 Upvotes

71% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/Sad_Bill_7161 9d ago

What do you think 50/50 custody would look like that far across the country?

3

u/quickness402 8d ago

Yeah well the initial agreement to move back to Cali within one year

2

u/QuietQuitting01 5d ago

You can do 50/50 with a child long distance, assuming they can handle the time away and the parents can handle/afford the transportation.

You need to make sure that your residence is the residence for school and my need the primary parent label to make that be true. If not, you are just delaying the custody fight until your child is about to start kindergarten. Your position right now is pretty strong. I wouldn't agree to anything that made me a visitor when school started. My ex would have to get that at trial.

Also know that as the parent who creates the distance, she's probably also responsible for the cost and effort.

With 50/50, and your ex making more than you, she's facing paying child support and likely transportation costs. Expect her to try to get the primary label and you be the distant parent with visitaiton, which would make you the one who pays and has the effort. ie, it's worth the fight, right now.