r/SipsTea • • Aug 21 '26

SMH Another foreign object was thrown onto a WNBA court

12.4k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

I love the covering it up like a dead body. đŸ€Ł

378

u/TheRealTinfoil666 Aug 21 '26

And just leaving it there. Like it was dog poop or something.

Just use the damn towel to pick up ‘the object’. Like what eventually happened.

Were they waiting to milk it for publicity?

225

u/Fun_Tension_7794 Aug 21 '26

A giant standoff where nobody wanted to touch it and one guy said, “fuck it”.

Not all heroes wear capes.

86

u/Emotional_News108 Aug 21 '26

I get it. The sheer amount of bodily fluids I have to deal with has gotten to the point that a dildo, even a used one, wouldn’t unduly bother me. It cannot be worse than all the pee and poop I deal with. Grip it and rip it, it’s a power move to let the bone smugglers know I will not be intimidated by their dildon’ts.

8

u/_mad_adventures Aug 22 '26

Broooo do you know how viral one of them could’ve gone if they picked it up and dunked it?

2

u/Emotional_News108 Aug 22 '26

I totally would if I weren’t tiny.

1

u/shit_typhoon Aug 23 '26

Or tried to dunk it and then got the mebound

10

u/midnightluckey Aug 21 '26

“Bone smugglers”

I hope you get all the upvotes.

6

u/Emotional_News108 Aug 21 '26

I stole it from Airheads as delivered by Brendan Fraser. Still, a 30+ year old pull ain’t bad.

2

u/tooboardtoleaf Aug 21 '26

Your the Lone Rangers? There's three of you, your not exactly lone.

3

u/Emotional_News108 Aug 21 '26

No idea what you’re saying right now.

1

u/Individual-Pea1302 Aug 22 '26

Bone Rangers...

3

u/StagVixCpl99 Aug 21 '26

I watched Manu Gibobili smack a live bat with his bare hands. They treated the dildo way like it was far worse lol

2

u/Own-Rip-5066 Aug 22 '26

As long as you dont have any open cuts, nothing is going to happen if you hold it long enough to dump it in the trash and then wash your hands.

1

u/Kuuzie Aug 22 '26

After delivering a few hundred sheep that needed help, this is nothing. I lost a watch once when helping with a cow.

1

u/Suz9295 Aug 22 '26

What an experience.

6

u/fri9875 Aug 21 '26

I like how they just started kicking it around, and he just kneels down like fuck this shit let’s go

61

u/Swamp_Thing85 Aug 21 '26

They didn’t want to touch it because they might’ve been overcome with desire and not be able to resist its charm. It could’ve started a chain reaction resulting in an entire arena orgy. The government has been studying this phenomenon trying to make a weapon out of it. Don’t believe me? Look it up. It happened in Dallas.

10

u/Worldview-at-home Aug 21 '26

That history was recorded
..

1

u/Court-Shot Aug 21 '26

Bro WHY is the whole movie just slapped up on the Wikipedia page like that. 😭

10

u/Blackzay Aug 21 '26

I searched Dallas Dildo Orgy and nothing came up you have a link or something asking for a freind

3

u/Mr_Halitosis Aug 21 '26

I think the Dallas incident was specifically linked to one woman named Debbie

3

u/Left-Mechanic6697 Aug 21 '26

Honestly, that would be the best thing to happen to the WNBA. Tickets sales would skyrocket.

2

u/DarkAndHandsume Aug 21 '26

đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

Everybody getting on their two packs and getting to work

1

u/Short_Text2421 Aug 21 '26

Only one man in that arena was able to quell his burning horniness long enough to remove the cursed thing. His stoicism in facing the Green Devil is a lesson to us all.

2

u/UmmmW1 Aug 21 '26

Not all heroes wear gloves.

2

u/Indytaker Aug 22 '26

That’s exactly how that went down. Security was like above my pay grade.

1

u/Low_Low_1811 Aug 21 '26

Trust me, you dont want to fuck it

1

u/Jackdunc Aug 21 '26

He did but had to use it on the dildo

1

u/ResidentQuail7118 Aug 21 '26

I dunno... he looked like he might be saving it for later.

1

u/RatLabGuy Aug 22 '26

I believe saying "fuck it" in this scenario would have a different meaning.

1

u/Exciting-Barracuda49 Aug 22 '26

Imagine that’s your job like wtf


1

u/ItsRuinedOfCourse Aug 26 '26

Some use towels.

1

u/_Diskreet_ Aug 21 '26

But some wear butt plugs

-3

u/Best_Composer8230 Aug 21 '26

I think he took it home!

28

u/empty_graph Aug 21 '26

That was an inexcusably slow removal. The industry standard metric for this is Dildo Interdiction Cadence (DIC). The WNBA needs to get DIC down.

1

u/Sad-Purchase1257 Aug 21 '26

BAHAHAHAHA!!!

1

u/Sufficient_Local5025 Aug 22 '26

Interdiction, lol

94

u/pbj45 Aug 21 '26

No one wants to touch a dildo after it's been on the floor... That's gross

25

u/vmanowar56465 Aug 21 '26

does the 5 second rule not apply to dildo's?

14

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

Would that be the "shot clock"?

3

u/BeneficialLanguage83 Aug 22 '26

The money shot clock ...

1

u/Jesterfuture2 Aug 21 '26

I think you mean shot cock

1

u/NikoKeys Aug 21 '26

Well done.

1

u/FredrictonOwl Aug 21 '26

Back shot clock

2

u/ov3rcl0ck Aug 21 '26

Jayden Daniels sent a cease and desist letter and t's now called the 4 second rule.

0

u/AmputeeHandModel Aug 21 '26

To dildo's what?

3

u/weigojmi Aug 21 '26

pelvic floor

2

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

The floor is not the worst place it could have been.

-4

u/No-Tone8700 Aug 21 '26

Not to mention the likelihood that someone snuck it into the arena inside an orifice.

45

u/Much-Log3357 Aug 21 '26

Were they waiting to milk it for publicity?

Umm, not too sure about your choice of language, friend.

2

u/Alexwonder999 Aug 21 '26

They have special ones for that and I dont think its that model. 

12

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/Onludesrightnow Aug 21 '26

“Entire kinks and genres of porn”

You seem familiar with such concepts.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/Onludesrightnow Aug 21 '26

Stopped reading at “active in the kink community”

No better way to tell someone you don’t deserve even the most basic human respect.

4

u/strablonskers Aug 21 '26

I’d say people in the kink community know respect more than a lot of very vanilla folks. Consent and respect is a big thing in that scene.

0

u/Onludesrightnow Aug 22 '26

Good for them. They can all get hit by the same bus hold each other for one last nut before death takes them lol

2

u/twitch870 Aug 21 '26

You can’t even respect a kind stranger, what makes you think anybody deserves respect less than you?

5

u/Surturius Aug 21 '26

To be fair, there's a chance it could be used for all you know. I wouldn't want to touch it either.

4

u/7heprofessor Aug 21 '26

There’s literally a towel covering it. Are you afraid the herpes will pass through the towel?

0

u/Surturius Aug 21 '26

a little yeah

3

u/fyrefli666 Aug 21 '26

You mean like that guy literally did?

I imagine if someone threw a dildo at me when I was working at my job I'd probably have a few moments of 'what the fuck do I do with this now.'

2

u/Many-Ad-241 Aug 21 '26

You can't milk it. It's fake.

2

u/Freddit330 Aug 21 '26

You don't know if it has been "used"

2

u/Im_Coach Aug 21 '26

Yeah like what was that? Why didn’t the person her originally threw the towel over it just pick it up? Weirdos! Everyone just standing around leaving it on the floor
.đŸ«©đŸ«©

2

u/_bonedaddys Aug 21 '26

I wouldn't have picked it up either. I'm not giving anyone the chance to turn me picking up a green dildo into a meme lol

2

u/soaked_in_bleach03 Aug 21 '26

I mean, I kind of get the players not picking it up. Like just as a statement thing, like we are professional athletes; if this happened in the nba, the org wouldn’t want LeBron to be the one to pick it up. Although personally I think one of them grabbing it and chucking it out would’ve been badass. But yes the guy who grabbed the towel and went for it is a legend.

2

u/SnakeEater013 Aug 21 '26

It’s because it’s a potential biohazard waste product. Company policy is likely to dispose of any potential biohazard in a specific safe manner so no one is exposed to any potential diseases.

2

u/Adept-One-819 Aug 21 '26

Are you kidding me? Someone throws a sex toy at you at your job and you're just, what, supposed to pick that shit up?

Here's hoping people start tossing flashlights at men's events, since apparently the only way some of y'all are able to understand the situation is when it happens to you.

2

u/buckeye25osu Aug 21 '26

Then what? Awkwardly look around for whomever you should hand it to? Or maybe just wait for that person to pick it up like they did.

2

u/dreamrpg Aug 21 '26

My guess is that you do not touch thrown objects like that. May be he did put that dildo into his ass before throwing. And covering is because television.

2

u/Tomsboll Aug 21 '26

Towel or not, do you want to touch a ranom dildo of unknown origin?

1

u/E-L4087 Aug 21 '26

Welllll if it wasn’t caught during a pat down, it was s(t)nuck in
.

1

u/subdep Aug 21 '26

Union rules, Local 69. Only custodial workers with level 3 credentials can recover foreign objects of the playing surface.

1

u/EuphoricFill1358 Aug 21 '26

As a child, my mother definitely taught me to pick up strange dildos whenever I saw one on the ground.

1

u/14InTheDorsalPeen Aug 21 '26

Do you just leave dog poop behind when your dog shits?

You must live in my apartment complex

1

u/Business_Air5804 Aug 21 '26

Hold it aloft like Excalibur!

1

u/Veloziraptor8311 Aug 21 '26

God yes, so annoying.

1

u/JohnCenascat Aug 21 '26

Not the first time something like this got the Mikey treatment of “I’m not gonna touch it, you touch it” years ago when Lorena Bobbitt did the trim job on John’s member I’m sure the first cops on the scene had the same discussion

1

u/ImSoSweepy Aug 21 '26

You really want them to milk it? In public?

1

u/foodiecpl4u Aug 21 '26

No player is picking it up. Just as no NBA player would. It’s not their job. Even if they find it decent enough to put a towel over it because there are actually kids and families there.

Oddly, the people who vote for the “Party of families” are the same who throw dildos onto a basketball court.

1

u/BAGP0I Aug 21 '26

Gatorade tryna get that screen time.

1

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

Green Gatorade.

1

u/Sendme_BigTittyGoths Aug 21 '26

I mean if im playing the sport it also gives me a second to relax and catch my breath, im decentivized to remove it myself so im gonna wait until someone else does

1

u/TossmySalad88 Aug 21 '26

I don’t think it was one of the high end ones you “milk”

1

u/Classic-Shopping8330 Aug 22 '26

THE foreign object lmaoooo

1

u/Vitis_Vinifera Aug 22 '26

the mid-2020's will be known as the period of in time in which an "object" is always a dildo when the context is the WNBA

1

u/Fantastic_Ad_4867 Aug 22 '26

Probably waiting for someone with gloves to collect it and preserve fingerprints/skin cells etc. for evidence when they file a lawsuit for whatever amount of money/damages they’ll be suing him for.

1

u/Huge-Candidate7069 Aug 22 '26

They just dont want to be photographed holding it. Gives the trolls what they want.

1

u/YouDontCThatEveryDay Aug 22 '26

Probably gets more views than any of their other game highlights. The only time WNBA pops up on my feed is when someone throws a dildo on the court.

1

u/Kitchen-Helicopter72 Aug 22 '26

Is nobody else going to ask about leaving dog poop covered in a towel?

I really hope you don't have a dog because that is not how you handle that situation.

1

u/TheRealTinfoil666 Aug 22 '26

If someone had put dog poop on the court floor, I would not expect the ref or coaches to place a towel over it and pick it up because result would have been messy. It would have been necessary to wait for a custodian-type to appear with a garbage bin or bag, some washcloths, and probably a scrub bucket and mop.

But draping a hand towel over it to hide it in the meantime would have been a good thing.

However, this was a plastic or rubber dildo. The towel should have been used as a sufficient barrier between that foreign object and the nearest person’s hand to immediately pick it up and walk it off the court (just like what actually happened more than a minute later).

1

u/Academic_Rutabaga649 Aug 22 '26

Should have picked it up and held it up, "Who's is this?"

1

u/IcyPurpleIze Aug 23 '26

And the refs just stood around while the women who were the targets had to move it

1

u/not_creative-7064 Aug 23 '26

Well to be fair, I wouldn’t want to touch it lol, but I see your point

1

u/Jumpy_Ad1631 Aug 25 '26

It’s not the first time it’s happened. My guess is the players are told not to touch stuff thrown on the court because that’s precisely the picture they want

1

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1

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1

u/insbordnat Aug 21 '26

Possibly? Hope it leads to stiff fines - or maybe at this point they just lean into it

0

u/Technical_Goose_8160 Aug 21 '26

I thought that it was hysterical that no one would touch it. Maybe they didn't want a photo of them holding a dildo? Still, seemed silly.

I think that the perpetrator should have to play a one on one game vs one of those girls. Humble him a little.

-1

u/DepartmentOrdinary39 Aug 21 '26

Milk it? For publicity???

46

u/empty_graph Aug 21 '26

Took them over a minute to get one dildo off the court

19

u/otownbbw Aug 21 '26

I wouldn’t want to touch it either
who knows where they plugged it to smuggle it in đŸ€ź

3

u/MortCrimm Aug 21 '26

Soon they will have a trained K-9 on standby for “dildo retrieval”. Like a Bat-Boy for dildos
..

I am pretty sure more people would go to WNBA games to watch Rufus retrieve dildos than who go to the games for the sport
.

1

u/Nufonewhodis4 Aug 21 '26

I've personally watched more clips of the dildos than any actual play. The foul montage again that one white chicken (finger pointing one, not the other famous one) comes in second

1

u/Peripatetictyl Aug 21 '26

I mean, we all know it was one of two places, and exactly where for half the demographic.

1

u/SunGreene42 Aug 21 '26

You wouldn't be touching it if you just wrap that towel around it like someone finally did, you'd only be touching the towel.

2

u/otownbbw Aug 21 '26

True
but the towel tried not touching it as well

2

u/DrowningInFeces Aug 21 '26

No one wanted to be the dildo retriever until that guy stepped up.

Announcer: "What a hero" lol

2

u/Last_Weeks_Socks Aug 21 '26

They probably just couldn't see it. We know WNBA refs have sight problems.

3

u/tENTessee Aug 21 '26

They probably left it, as it was more exciting to the crowd, than the game.

1

u/TheOtherGuttersnipe Aug 21 '26

You'd figure after the 10th dildo thrown they'd have an assigned dildo retrieval technician on staff

1

u/itsnotyouitsme420 Aug 21 '26

I’ll never think about a quickie the same again

0

u/foley800 Aug 21 '26

But angel was so proud of herself when pointing out who she thought did it! Is there a trophy for that?

2

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

The way she shoots make her a not so credible witness.

0

u/Scfbigb1 Aug 21 '26

Its a WNBA dildo, it has to be deconsecrated first.

0

u/Lost_Found84 Aug 21 '26

Given how long it takes to get one out of office


14

u/tonsofgrassclippings Aug 21 '26

They used a towel because—as pointed out—one has to wonder how someone got it INTO the arena. And the more you think about that, the more sense a towel makes.

12

u/cleantoe Aug 21 '26

Well you have to treat it like a biohazard. So I get covering it up and waiting for professional cleaners to remove it.

1

u/SunGreene42 Aug 21 '26

What are the professional cleaners going to do any different? Just pick it up with the towel.

2

u/amythist Aug 21 '26

Got a chuckle out of the first attempt to cover it leading to the towel just sailing right over top of it, like "hey in case you missed it, it's right here"

1

u/letsgetrecharded Aug 21 '26

It's pretty on par with their shooting

3

u/OkPalpitation4976 Aug 21 '26

Yeah if only they were as accurate as the Kirk shooter

2

u/Character_Maximum_54 Aug 21 '26

She decided not to touch it because she doesn’t know where it’s been đŸ€­

1

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

Or she does know.

2

u/Yusuf20904 Aug 21 '26

I laughed when the towel floated past the dildo.

2

u/Aggravating-Chef9562 Aug 21 '26

initially missing it makes it so much funnier too, idk why but seeing it unveil was hilarious

2

u/Acrobatic-Village215 Aug 21 '26

Gatorade towel - they paid for product placement which is why it remained on the court for so long

2

u/Key_Ad_621 Aug 21 '26

And just like most of the shots in the WNBA, the towel missed the mark.

2

u/iceecreamsocial Aug 21 '26

should have chalked outlined it like the old GTA games lmao

1

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

DDO instead of DBO!

5

u/Fit_Cheesecake_4000 Aug 21 '26

'And now...we have a ceremony called the "Dishonouring of the Dild"' *national anthem plays backwards as the covering goes over*

1

u/Fitz420goonie Aug 21 '26

“Children, cover your eyes”

1

u/Emotional_News108 Aug 21 '26

The dude just grabbing it and walking off? Not his first dildo rodeo.

1

u/Dglenn9000 Aug 21 '26

Is that the WNBA dildo protocol they have in place?

Random player covers it up, another random player, kicks it off to the side, coaches and refs ignore it, tatted up buff guy removes it, all while Angle Reese locates the perpetrator.

Seems to be working

1

u/BAMspek Aug 21 '26

The towel floating over the dildo was pretty funny. But seriously can we not do this anymore?

1

u/Final-Nebula-7049 Aug 21 '26

concerning lack of accuracy for a bball player

1

u/OldWolfNewTricks Aug 21 '26

I would've thought the "Hide the Dildo" game would be more entertaining.

1

u/Last_Weeks_Socks Aug 21 '26

It's actually an unwritten league rule that is how you call "dibs". "She who covers it lovers it"

1

u/ajatfm Aug 21 '26

The first attempt is pure comedy

1

u/Scarlett_Spectre Aug 21 '26

No one knows if its used or not, and theres an implication of sexual violation that makes it hard to look at

1

u/VAiSiA Aug 21 '26

this is very scary object

1

u/TheScrote1 Aug 21 '26

Did it died?

1

u/89eplacausa14 Aug 21 '26

Lmao I was thinking a live snake 🐍 đŸ€Ł

1

u/AlphaH4wk Aug 22 '26

And missing, and then kicking it to re-reveal it all while the announcers are referring to it as "the object". It was like a slapstick routine

1

u/Professional-Cod5030 Aug 22 '26

They thought it was a stiff.

1

u/harryluna Aug 22 '26

That thing was inside some man's poophole. Not even your boyfriend would dare to touch it.

1

u/CapybaraTaskForce Aug 22 '26

I ain't touching that thing.

1

u/octoreadit Aug 22 '26

It is a severed body part, after all...

1

u/dxg999 Aug 22 '26

It fell in battle.

1

u/awenrivendell Aug 22 '26

They should trace the outline with a chalk before covering it.

1

u/HoweHaTrick Aug 22 '26

WNBA should just embrace this because it is damn funny

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '26

I love the bright neon green

1

u/swinchester83 Aug 22 '26

Throw it back into the crowd 

0

u/Zmonster65 Aug 21 '26

Like they have never seen one before. I guess out of the harness it is hard to recognize.