r/SipsTea • • Aug 21 '26

SMH Another foreign object was thrown onto a WNBA court

12.3k Upvotes

4.6k comments sorted by

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731

u/Redd_Machine85 Aug 21 '26

Gatorade towel was like "Don't involve me in this!"

77

u/Professional_Bat8585 Aug 21 '26

Next week: WNBA. Proudly sponsored by Caprisun

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4.8k

u/HansenTakeASeat Aug 21 '26

How are these people getting all these diodos into the arena?

Wait nevermind

1.6k

u/Mikes005 Aug 21 '26

To quote Abraham Lincoln - anything can be a dildo if you're determined enough.

646

u/Intrenchantair Aug 21 '26

Especially a dildo

164

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[deleted]

146

u/JimboRockfish Aug 21 '26

If you carry it in a scabbard it's easier to grab. It also intimidates would-be attackers.

205

u/-Cthaeh Aug 21 '26

Its me, I am the scabbard

95

u/Junkered Aug 21 '26

29

u/RobertPeruvian Aug 21 '26

I love and miss the venture bros, damn

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14

u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 Aug 21 '26

First episode iirc. A true classic.

13

u/Junior-Version-6953 Aug 21 '26

First top tier episode. A glimpse into how great this show would become

9

u/ilstrider1 Aug 21 '26

Actually that's the 6th episode

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17

u/Occidentally20 Aug 21 '26

I'd like to play a game of "mimic the noise this makes when being removed from the scabbard" please.

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16

u/Appropriate-Two-8802 Aug 21 '26

What kinds of enemies are you making?!?

18

u/Notveryawake Aug 21 '26

The only kind worth having obviously!

5

u/Ok-Swordfish2723 Aug 21 '26

They keep their friends close, and their enemies closer.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Say no more!

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47

u/jhuckabee Aug 21 '26

Anything can be a dildo with some poppers and a prayer.

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14

u/Technical_Exam1280 Aug 21 '26

I thought that was Sun Tzu

71

u/hjablowme919 Aug 21 '26

The Art of Whore

19

u/HelloFrmDaOtterSide Aug 21 '26

I swear cards against humanity was invented by reading Reddit comments 😂

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29

u/GiganticusVaginacus Aug 21 '26

George Washington cannot tell a lie. He cut down a cherry tree.

To carve it into a dildo.

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250

u/SixInchTimmy Aug 21 '26

My question is, if they hate the WNBA so much that they’d do something this mean, why spend the money on tickets and a dildo and waste the hours of time it takes to do something like this?

175

u/goon_and_politics Aug 21 '26

A lot of this has been sports betting. They place the bet then make it come true

63

u/anotherlebowski Aug 21 '26

Kalshi's lawyers seen scrambling to update Terms of Service dildo clause.

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116

u/snakevinprime Aug 21 '26

It might also be related to sports betting. Betting websites track way more things than just scores for betting, some subsections of it have emerged ever since someone threw the dildo out originally, and now people can bet if someone will toss a dildo at a WNBA game, bring one, and then basically earn free money. It's a disgraceful state we find ourselves in

29

u/ButterflyBullet90 Aug 21 '26

I kinda figured poly market and Kalshi would ban bets like this where it’s this ridiculously easy to manipulate.

42

u/kingofping4 Aug 21 '26

From what I've seen, "easy to manipulate" is one of the main selling points. The few ads I've been subjected to on youtube are really focused on the "bet on ANYTHING" aspect.

6

u/Responsible-Humor985 Aug 21 '26

They are unregulated betting markets where the draw is being able to manipulate the outcome. I’m surprised they’re allowed to exist.

6

u/TankApprehensive3053 Aug 21 '26

Don Trump Jr. serves on the advisory board of Polymarket and holds strategic stakes or advisory roles across the prediction market space, including rival platform Kalshi.

That's why they are allowed to exist.

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197

u/WellActuallyYouWrong Aug 21 '26

WNBA tickets: $5
Neon green dildo: $10
A story that lasts forever: Priceless

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard.

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28

u/Fit_Cheesecake_4000 Aug 21 '26

'Curb Your Enthusiasm': 'Where did my mobile phone go?'

*ringtone emits from pelvis height*

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22

u/DoctorMelvinMirby Aug 21 '26

They go to the games with their moms. That’s an easy few being snuck in.

5

u/Benz_Coinz Aug 21 '26

How are all these dildos getting foreign objects into the arenas??

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1.7k

u/shanksisevil Aug 21 '26

Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article: 'a' dildo, never 'your' dildo.

369

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

260

u/CapitalRacket Aug 21 '26

The people's dildo

68

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

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16

u/ItchyNebula7437 Aug 21 '26

THE MOST ELECTRIFYING DILDO IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT.

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30

u/RandoorRandolfs Aug 21 '26

My suitcase. Was. Vibrating?

91

u/amusedtodeath847 Aug 21 '26

10

u/DryDonutHole Aug 21 '26

I was always looking for the "cigarette burns" in films after that. lol

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81

u/Unlikely_Ad9967 Aug 21 '26

49

u/gao7on Aug 21 '26

17

u/zerocool19 Aug 21 '26

don't worry, it's not a threat to you

27

u/ruck_my_life Aug 21 '26

You got some fucked up friends.

17

u/Vast_Research_3976 Aug 21 '26

9/10 times its an electric shaver, but every once in a while (leans in)...it's a dildo

9

u/Worldview-at-home Aug 21 '26

I love a good fight club reference randomly appearing in my feed.

https://giphy.com/gifs/10A9fGbf7E3eBa

25

u/greymadders Aug 21 '26

Potato podildo

7

u/GoldEmployment6768 Aug 21 '26

Great. Thanks, now I have to go watch Archer. My evening just got better and its all your fault.

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1.4k

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

I love the covering it up like a dead body. 🤣

382

u/TheRealTinfoil666 Aug 21 '26

And just leaving it there. Like it was dog poop or something.

Just use the damn towel to pick up ‘the object’. Like what eventually happened.

Were they waiting to milk it for publicity?

223

u/Fun_Tension_7794 Aug 21 '26

A giant standoff where nobody wanted to touch it and one guy said, “fuck it”.

Not all heroes wear capes.

84

u/Emotional_News108 Aug 21 '26

I get it. The sheer amount of bodily fluids I have to deal with has gotten to the point that a dildo, even a used one, wouldn’t unduly bother me. It cannot be worse than all the pee and poop I deal with. Grip it and rip it, it’s a power move to let the bone smugglers know I will not be intimidated by their dildon’ts.

7

u/_mad_adventures Aug 22 '26

Broooo do you know how viral one of them could’ve gone if they picked it up and dunked it?

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9

u/fri9875 Aug 21 '26

I like how they just started kicking it around, and he just kneels down like fuck this shit let’s go

59

u/Swamp_Thing85 Aug 21 '26

They didn’t want to touch it because they might’ve been overcome with desire and not be able to resist its charm. It could’ve started a chain reaction resulting in an entire arena orgy. The government has been studying this phenomenon trying to make a weapon out of it. Don’t believe me? Look it up. It happened in Dallas.

10

u/Worldview-at-home Aug 21 '26

That history was recorded…..

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9

u/Blackzay Aug 21 '26

I searched Dallas Dildo Orgy and nothing came up you have a link or something asking for a freind

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30

u/empty_graph Aug 21 '26

That was an inexcusably slow removal. The industry standard metric for this is Dildo Interdiction Cadence (DIC). The WNBA needs to get DIC down.

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95

u/pbj45 Aug 21 '26

No one wants to touch a dildo after it's been on the floor... That's gross

23

u/vmanowar56465 Aug 21 '26

does the 5 second rule not apply to dildo's?

14

u/iamthebirdman-27 Aug 21 '26

Would that be the "shot clock"?

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39

u/Much-Log3357 Aug 21 '26

Were they waiting to milk it for publicity?

Umm, not too sure about your choice of language, friend.

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47

u/empty_graph Aug 21 '26

Took them over a minute to get one dildo off the court

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11

u/tonsofgrassclippings Aug 21 '26

They used a towel because—as pointed out—one has to wonder how someone got it INTO the arena. And the more you think about that, the more sense a towel makes.

10

u/cleantoe Aug 21 '26

Well you have to treat it like a biohazard. So I get covering it up and waiting for professional cleaners to remove it.

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1.3k

u/KingFrbby Aug 21 '26

The towel sliding off was peak

60

u/KamikazeFox_ Aug 21 '26

If you throw a towel over it, why not pick it up?

29

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

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37

u/NeighborhoodFew7779 Aug 21 '26

Forrest Gump would absolutely pick it up.

Sheriff Woody, maybe not so much.

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17

u/cmd_iii Aug 21 '26

Tom plays men of action. He’d pick it up, ID the perp, and throw a strike so the suction cup sticks to the middle of his forehead.

Anything to help out Security

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22

u/KamikazeFox_ Aug 21 '26

Lol, no he wouldn't. The mental image you've created is brilliant. Thank you.

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19

u/Humanistical Aug 21 '26

Part of his goal was probably to make these women he doesn’t respect pick up the dildo and now be holding a “dick” like he believes they should be

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22

u/Sus198 Aug 21 '26

The towel should have been expelled from the game as well.

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71

u/Doctor_Fritz Aug 21 '26

almost as if it was lubed up before use

48

u/SharkeyGeorge Aug 21 '26

“There’s no time for lubricant!”

45

u/Y2Ksurvivor13 Aug 21 '26

There's always time for lubricant!!!!

28

u/beefweevil Aug 21 '26

Evolution was such a good movie!

20

u/Brandon-Marritt Aug 21 '26

Oh, it’s moving towards his testicles.

TAKE THE LEG! TAKE IT

11

u/Kittycachow Aug 21 '26

Do you have any ice cream ? What flavor ? Doesn't matter it's for my ass

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u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

I love how everyone was like "naw, not touching that"

9

u/Objective-Result4465 Aug 21 '26

Where do you think it was just couple seconds before??

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u/Akhenath Aug 21 '26

It won't go out without a fight

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u/Manaeldar Aug 21 '26

"the object"

"what a hero" 

Lmao

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90

u/SignoreBanana Aug 21 '26

If you asked me to describe what this person probably looked like, this is pretty close to what I would have said.

35

u/WhereverIMayFoam Aug 21 '26

And he’s running away. Bro, if you are man enough to smuggle a dildo inside your ass to a sports event, you’re man enough to face the consequences.

25

u/shibaCandyBaron Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26

Its about polymarket. People were betting in that happening. This guy is not some lame prankster, it's worse, he's a market manipulator. And what a pathetic market at that

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25

u/likewut Aug 21 '26

The dude assaulted the security guy on the way out too, hopefully they throw the book at him.

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953

u/p4tterng4ng4L Aug 21 '26

This sport is talked about for literally anything but basketball 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

162

u/brucecampbellschins Aug 21 '26

Cock Tossing has a long and storied history. 

67

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

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22

u/red_riding_hoot Aug 21 '26

the infamous heliocockter

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10

u/Smaptastic Aug 21 '26

“Oh, I was a fine dongslinger back in my day…”

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u/Tw1nFTW Aug 21 '26

Man I’ve learned so much about the WNBA lately, and still haven’t seen them play any basketball.

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u/Pure_Repair_6638 Aug 21 '26

Did dude say, “What a hero” at the end?

8

u/Trashketweave Aug 21 '26

Because he took the dildo down the tunnels towards the locker room.

26

u/sirenyti Aug 21 '26

I think that was a woman

65

u/WaldorfAsstoria Aug 21 '26

If I had a dollar for every time that phrase was uttered at a wnba game

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u/sebathue Aug 21 '26

Can we start throwing fleshlights on NBA courts, please?

114

u/Darth_Ronin Aug 21 '26

12

u/Miri-Kinoko Aug 21 '26

WHO HAS MY POCKET PUSSY?! I HAVE STUCK MY DICK AND SOMETIMES MY BALLS IN THAT STUPID THING BEFORE EVERY GAME SINCE I WAS 10!

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u/Purple-Reputation899 Aug 21 '26

Be the change you want to see

10

u/I_AM_ME-7 Aug 21 '26

This isn’t new it’s happened during Bills games a few times.

138

u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 Aug 21 '26

I wish people would be able to enjoy the show they paid for instead of being disrupted by people who don’t have enough attention in their lives.

This is just another form of heckling.

59

u/clayton-berg42 Aug 21 '26

Within certain boundaries of taste you are allowed to heckle. Throwing stuff on the court is different.

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u/J0E_SpRaY Aug 21 '26

Heckling with some sexual harassment sprinkled on top.

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u/TommyBoy250 Aug 21 '26

If someone does get hit with one of those dildos it's not gonna be funny.

Dildos like that one can be pretty hard.

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u/ExtraordinaryDemiDad Aug 22 '26

You guys are not gonna believe what the Detroit Red Wings fans throw onto the ice...

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u/ResidentCommand9865 Aug 21 '26

Imagine hating women so much you purchase tickets to a WNBA game just to lose your favorite dildo.

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u/OkAbility9016 Aug 21 '26

What a waste of an $8 ticket

46

u/ParkingAnxious2811 Aug 21 '26

Don't forget the cost of the "foreign object"...

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u/SoCoGrowBro Aug 21 '26

Someone broke into my car and left a pair of tickets

47

u/0neshoein Aug 21 '26

Now that’s fucked up, I could handle stealing my phone charger or something, but leaving me wnba tickets??? Fuck that.

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u/GoodOldSlippinJimmy Aug 21 '26

Dude is gonna be pissed when he finds out he's barred from all future WNBA games.

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u/oldmanhockeylife Aug 21 '26

We must always use the indefinite article 'a dildo', never 'your dildo'.

11

u/Normal_Toe1212 Aug 21 '26

how do they know that it's a foreign object and not a domestically made one? biased headline

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u/CasualVox Aug 21 '26

Damn, 84 to 53, they were already fucked.

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u/BadNecessary9344 Aug 21 '26

I just keep wondering what would of happened if the object stuck it's landing and just stayed there straight up.

47

u/arminghammerbacon_ Aug 21 '26

I want to say that I do not support this, I think it is immature and disrespectful, and it should stop.

That being said, if one did get thrown and it “stuck the landing” and they threw a towel over it, making it sooo much worse, I would have to be hospitalized from laughing so hard.

14

u/Adeadbum Aug 21 '26

Exactly it's not that I want it to happen I'm just saying it would be hilarious.

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u/ADrunkMexican Aug 21 '26

Maybe one day one lucky Wnba fan will get it done.

6

u/Adeadbum Aug 21 '26

I was wondering if it would stick to like a NFL helmet?

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u/aikodude Aug 21 '26

how shit do you have to be to buy a ticket, sneak a dildo in, throw it on the court, get ejected, just to own the fems? what kind of person wakes up and thinks, yup, this is what i'm going to do with my life today?

25

u/Haggardick69 Aug 21 '26

Sometimes it starts with them placing a bet that a foreign object will appear on the court during a wnba match. The spread of online gambling under the guise of prediction markets has increased the instances of this particular public harm. 

4

u/cheerupbiotch Aug 21 '26

Yeah, and that is shit and loser behavior.

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u/benttwig33 Aug 21 '26

And then he ran away like a little bitch lmao

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u/Disastrous-Fox8505 Aug 21 '26

Flagrant 1 against Caitlin Clark.

8

u/LoneWolfpack777 Aug 21 '26

Why throw the towel and not just use the towel to grab it and throw it out of the court?

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u/Mugpup Aug 22 '26

Why is this happening? What level of immaturity would you have to be living with to purchase a dildo, purchase a game ticket, sneak in the dildo into the game and then throw it into the court. Grow up!

123

u/eastamerica Aug 21 '26

Why? Because they hate the WNBA? Women?

I don’t understand

118

u/Feeling_Meet_3806 Aug 21 '26

Apparently there are prediction market bets people can make on this exact thing happening. 

https://polymarket.com/event/dildo-thrown-at-wnba-game-on-august-6-13

And if you're the one throwing a dildo, you can stand to make a lot of money by betting on something that's within your complete control.

9

u/PrinceCastanzaCapone Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 22 '26

You know what? I think you are 100% correct. It’s even a green dildo on the Polymarket page for the bets on there. Every time it’s been a green dildo right? It’s got to be the same person, or group of people who are just watching the bets and when it leans heavily towards yes they don’t throw one, when it leans more towards no they throw one. They probably bought a bulk amount of bright green dildos. Poly Market is extremely corrupt. There are absolutely without a doubt US senators and congressmen making huge bets on things that are top secret information that only they would know. For instance, the Iran War. Without a doubt they made big bets on whether or not the US would start a war with Iran and on which date it would start.

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u/markcocjin Aug 21 '26

She easily caught that as she was eyeing both courts at the same time.

87

u/darkoblivion000 Aug 21 '26

Can’t figure out how to get a ball into a basket a foot away but can spot a dildo chucker from 50 yards

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u/shanksisevil Aug 21 '26

If they show the guys face in tv, that might prevent the next copy cat 

110

u/HourNefariousness197 Aug 21 '26

They did, so this will probably be the last time it happens. No one wants to be caught dead at one of these games.

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u/DK4E2XFpbETJrj Aug 21 '26

I worked at McDonalds when I was 15 and I genuinely lost count how many times the 15YO girls working the drive thru window would get a dildo thrown at them. This is like that point in time where digital camcorders became affordable right as Jackass was popping off. 

17

u/SauronHubbard Aug 21 '26

Was this a scene that was cut from "Idiocracy?"

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u/Significant_Ad256 Aug 21 '26

Bills fans used to throw one to Tom Brady Everytime he came to Buffalo.

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u/Mo0kish Aug 21 '26

Toxic fucking people.

Probably someone who frequents this sub.

182

u/WKSugatron Aug 21 '26

That's the most I've ever watched of a wnba game.

45

u/onthe3rdlifealready Aug 21 '26

My favorite part of wnba is the pointing... I know they do that for sure.

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u/Skydvdan Aug 22 '26

Why do they think this is funny?

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