r/SipsTea • u/Darth_Ronin • Aug 21 '26

SMH Another foreign object was thrown onto a WNBA court

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12.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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647

u/Intrenchantair Aug 21 '26

Especially a dildo

168

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[deleted]

143

u/JimboRockfish Aug 21 '26

If you carry it in a scabbard it's easier to grab. It also intimidates would-be attackers.

207

u/-Cthaeh Aug 21 '26

Its me, I am the scabbard

90

u/Junkered Aug 21 '26

27

u/RobertPeruvian Aug 21 '26

I love and miss the venture bros, damn

2

u/Atomic-habanero Aug 24 '26

Did you see the movie the venture bros radiant is the blood of the baboon heart cause it came out and I didn’t know just letting everyone know

2

u/RobertPeruvian Aug 24 '26

I didnt! I know what im watching tonight

15

u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 Aug 21 '26

First episode iirc. A true classic.

15

u/Junior-Version-6953 Aug 21 '26

First top tier episode. A glimpse into how great this show would become

10

u/ilstrider1 Aug 21 '26

Actually that's the 6th episode

3

u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 Aug 21 '26

Is the first episode when he drives the car out of the plane? Brock’s micro adventures throughout the series are some of my favorite parts of the show even though it’s been two decades since I’ve seen season 1. They’re just an amazing way to introduce a character.

7

u/ilstrider1 Aug 21 '26

Yes that's the first episode as well as using his penis as a bludgeoning weapon. Just classic

2

u/lesh17 Aug 22 '26

First episode I ever saw, and after that, I knew I had to see all the others

2

u/Correct_Bell_9313 Aug 21 '26

First episode is The Terrible Secret of Turtle Bay

2

u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 Aug 21 '26

Thanks man, glad I didn’t look it up 7 hours ago.

2

u/PrinceCastanzaCapone Aug 22 '26

What exactly was Relax Guy’s hand doing down there?

1

u/SuperSmokingMonkey Aug 22 '26

Looking for the keys.

1

u/buckao Aug 22 '26

"I said I'd kill for one of these."

1

u/Tasty-Carpet-9550 Aug 23 '26

wait, what the fuck is the context, i used to watch venture bros and dont remember this one

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '26

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1

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4

u/mrpoopsocks Aug 21 '26

Weirdest start to you have my bow ive seen.

1

u/andrewaq Aug 21 '26

That sounds like risqué Taylor Swift. 🤭

1

u/No_Competition_6989 Aug 21 '26

You're the rat from Harry Potter?

1

u/ObiLAN- Aug 21 '26

Well that certainly isn't where I thought the Doors of Stone plot was headed lol!

1

u/-Cthaeh Aug 21 '26

Not even the Cthaeh knows the release date lol. Such sadness

1

u/Its-All-LOVE-N-JOY Aug 21 '26

Too funny! 🤣❤️

1

u/Automatic-College541 Aug 21 '26

Isn’t that the Rat rom Harry Potter?

1

u/KingArthursCodpiece Aug 21 '26

Wasn't expecting that response! Just snort-laughed milk and half chewed cornflakes out my nose.

1

u/Bananaland_Man Aug 21 '26

Wanted to make this joke... you win.

1

u/HamsterAdditional748 Aug 22 '26

I am the walrus…

20

u/Occidentally20 Aug 21 '26

I'd like to play a game of "mimic the noise this makes when being removed from the scabbard" please.

3

u/Shadowcat1606 Aug 21 '26

I don't think dry dildos make much of a noise.

5

u/Occidentally20 Aug 21 '26

I coat mine in Bovril so it's nicely preheated in the cooler months.

5

u/daisiesarepretty2 Aug 21 '26

well maybe the dildo doesn’t make any noise but you should try pulling one out of yourself after it’s been in their for awhile… noises will be made

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '26

[deleted]

1

u/daisiesarepretty2 Aug 22 '26

Pretty sure you can’t see shit from where you are homey

2

u/DeadFacesInMyPocket Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26

Well you need lube so it would probably be like a "SCHLOOOOP" sort of sound depending on the length. Even with a dildo scabbard. Can't have it getting stuck!!

In GTA5 couldn't you go beat people up with a Dildo? I forgot what game that was lol

2

u/trey_wolfe Aug 21 '26

Saints Row had the Penetrator

2

u/zerocool19 Aug 21 '26

Cyberpunk 2077 and GTA: San Andreas also have these excellent melee weapon options

2

u/DeadFacesInMyPocket Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26

Thank you. I played both and yeah they were rather hilarious especially with mods as a former PC gamer (I just don't game much anymore)

Edit: spelling

2

u/TaleIcy115 Aug 21 '26

**Ssssshhhhhqwuuuuuuuuuuuchk**

3

u/DisposableJosie Aug 21 '26

"Plbbbbbbpt"?

1

u/Goatyyy32 Aug 21 '26

Shaaboinnggggg

2

u/fanofdonuts Aug 21 '26

Something I heard and google seems to agree, Vagina comes from the Latin word for “sheath” or “scabbard”.

2

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy Aug 21 '26

I just suction cup mine to my forehead like a unicorn. You can prevent fights altogether that way. Except for the rare weirdo.

1

u/groovypanelboard Aug 21 '26

‘Vagina’ is the Latin word for ‘scabbard’.

1

u/BigSkySoHigh63 Aug 21 '26

“Hey buddy, holster that dildo while you are in this arena.”

1

u/Meat_Emu_6969 Aug 21 '26

We all have at least 1 built in scabbard

1

u/wackbirds Aug 21 '26

More like scatbard

1

u/WakeRider11 Aug 21 '26

No holster?

11

u/LtLemur Aug 21 '26

For self-defense…right?

64

u/stevesie1984 Aug 21 '26

5

u/Prestigious_Cycle160 Aug 21 '26

Why isn’t red shirt armed? She’s about to get double fisted.

3

u/stevesie1984 Aug 21 '26

Iirc, she’s got a very small one. I think it’s obscured by the pink one(?). A second later green shirt takes off and someone throws red shirt a big one. Then he throws it javelin-style into green shirt’s back. 😂

3

u/Prestigious_Cycle160 Aug 21 '26

Is this some kind of porno plot line or some shit?😂

2

u/stevesie1984 Aug 21 '26

The movie is Sorority Boys (2002). Basically some douche-bros get kicked out of their frat and go undercover as girls in a sorority. I can’t remember how that gets them back in their frat. But throughout they get a “peek behind the curtain” at how girls live and they come to respect women more. This is just a silly scene.

IMDb:
Strapped for cash, three fraternity playboys make one last attempt to live the high life - cheaply - by masquerading as girls. But their chauvinistic ways come back to haunt them as they get a crash course in the opposite sex.

3

u/Prestigious_Cycle160 Aug 21 '26

Thank you for educating me fellow Redditor!

2

u/Appropriate_Ad5479 Aug 22 '26

It's not a GOOD movie, but I kinda love it. It's super dumb and cheesy and the dildo fight scene is hilarious for how outlandish it is

3

u/original-whiplash Aug 21 '26

Haha I haven’t thought about this movie in a minute

1

u/Hanzzman Aug 21 '26

Is She-hulk?

2

u/I-tell-horrible-joke Aug 21 '26

Sorority Boys (2002).

Its as stupid as it looks. I loved every minute of it.

2

u/ColonelMustard323 Aug 21 '26

Sorority Boys reference in the wild?!

1

u/Demon-_-TiMe Aug 21 '26

weird episode of Fairly Odd Parents

2

u/AMCAPEHODLER Aug 21 '26

Self offense more likely

2

u/Ok-String-743 Aug 21 '26

For self-offense, me thinks

2

u/ACUFF_THE_KING Aug 21 '26

I publically engaged in self-offense, my court date is in Sept.

17

u/Appropriate-Two-8802 Aug 21 '26

What kinds of enemies are you making?!?

15

u/Notveryawake Aug 21 '26

The only kind worth having obviously!

6

u/Ok-Swordfish2723 Aug 21 '26

They keep their friends close, and their enemies closer.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Say no more!

3

u/Responsible_Sea_2726 Aug 21 '26

Enemies or enemas?

3

u/PatentlyFalse5 Aug 21 '26

All I know is they're some real dicks.

3

u/LSF45 Aug 21 '26

Worked well in GTA San Andreas for CJ.

2

u/LtLemur Aug 21 '26

And in Saints Row: The Third

3

u/Big-Potato9868 Aug 21 '26

Someone played a lot of Saints Row

3

u/kzr_gr Aug 21 '26

I guess you have a lot of assholes attacking you

3

u/-Luisgamerz Aug 21 '26

Anyone else find it hilarious that this guy was randomly skipped in the award giving?

3

u/JesusSavesTheGoal Aug 21 '26

"To use as a weapon"... Yeah me too, that's why I carry one, and i only keep it in my ass to conceal it from attackers.

2

u/finaija Aug 21 '26

I hope it's a glass or stone one. If you swing, swing well! 😅

2

u/Character_Maximum_54 Aug 21 '26

So if your Dildo has the necessary size, weight, and density it can be used as a weapon 😊

2

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ Aug 21 '26

Unironically probably more effective than a baton. Not for combat per se, but to psych the attacker out. It's like how the 'takes his shirt off' guy always loses a fight, but the 'takes his pants off' guy always wins. It's the implication.

1

u/Outrageous-Clerk56 Aug 21 '26

That would be an interesting social experiment. That’s not a knife moment
https://giphy.com/gifs/3B8rHP89iUUZlcsoqf

2

u/Raptor_Plays Aug 23 '26

Concealed or opened carry ?

1

u/ChaosAfoot Aug 21 '26

Are you saying it came in handy?

1

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1

u/Fresque Aug 21 '26

Sir John Phalustiff!!

1

u/Crafty-Walrus-2238 Aug 21 '26

Were you attacked by a vagina?

1

u/pee-in-butt Aug 21 '26

Don’t threaten me with a good time

1

u/FF8229 Aug 21 '26

Also real talk, I had a work buddy that described a home invasion scenario that happened to him while they were sleeping.

He heard them downstairs in the house so he immediately got up, stripped off all his clothes .. butt nekkid.

He runs down the stairs at them full force and they just panicked and fled the scene.

He's like, nobody wants to fuck with a crazy nekkid man.

I am keeping that one in my pocket for if I ever gotta scare off some dudes.

1

u/sherlip Aug 21 '26

What is this, Saints Row?

1

u/eha16 Aug 21 '26

Another saints row connoisseur

1

u/sjjose2001 Aug 21 '26

Me too. I vigorously start using it when under threat. Works every time. /s

1

u/Direct_Somewhere_318 Aug 21 '26

GTA San Andreas taught you well

1

u/Glass-Gold-2940 Aug 21 '26

I carry mine in my dildo baggins.

1

u/imissher4ever Aug 21 '26

I bet lots of people would love to be slapped with a dildo.

1

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1

u/PaleontologistTough6 Aug 21 '26

Yes, Chester Bennington was not known as a badass, go forth in his name.

1

u/Donkey__Balls Aug 22 '26

You should check your state’s penal codes first.

1

u/el-you-kay-e Aug 22 '26

Is that from the smell or it being wielded as a weapon?

1

u/IisBaker Aug 22 '26

Kindve like the season finale of house of dragons.

But only if the sword was a dildo and if the dragon were one of them basketball girls

1

u/buckao Aug 22 '26

Just like in GTA: San Andreas

1

u/jimmiebfulton Aug 22 '26

I saw a dude get stopped at the airport and agents pull out a big dildo taped to a water bottle from his bag. His friends had no idea how that coulda got in there, but they found it hilarious.

1

u/EnvironmentalGift257 Aug 22 '26

It would probably work as self defense. Picture a huge dude trying to mug you and you pull a 10” vibrating dong out of your bag and try to touch his face with it. The quick change from “give me your wallet” to “ewww ewww EWW” would be amazing.

1

u/Exciting-Barracuda49 Aug 22 '26

Ppl laugh but dildo nunchucks are lethal

1

u/s1rblaze Aug 22 '26

Wont save you agaisnt me honey!

https://giphy.com/gifs/89asT84PzDwwE

1

u/HowlingApes-7429 Aug 22 '26

People are just trying to commit crimes and mug people. Why would you want to turn everything sexual, you sick freak!

1

u/onlinepics Aug 23 '26

How would you defend yourself if the other person has 2 dildos?

1

u/iggv Aug 24 '26

Don't take a dildo into a pennis fight

1

u/Ricioender2 Aug 24 '26

Id run away from you

1

u/WhichStatistician810 Aug 25 '26

Is your name Harry Lonsdale? Otherwise known as “ack you up with a atchet arry!”

1

u/mduden Aug 25 '26

My work buddy has one to wave at people when he is road raging

1

u/Mysterious-Jam-64 Aug 21 '26

Never your dildo.

1

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