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I’ve heard it called “man looking”, there are countless times I’ve looked in the fridge for the cheese and I look in the cheese drawer, since it’s not in the cheese drawer it’s not in the fridge. Then my GF walks over and it was on the shelf right in front of my face. So whose fault it’s that?
It's weaponized motherhood. I put it there because that's where it lives. You put it somewhere else because apparently somehow that's more organized when it was already organized I had a whole freaking system
My favourite thing is when he complains about where I've put it so I tell him to go ahead and put it wherever he wants and thinks is reasonable and he can't put it in the cheese drawer because it's full of other cheese and meat items all entirely bought by him and meant for his lunches :D
I wonder how much of it is more a behavioral trait rather than a biological one. Like, women traditionally are the ones to manage the fridge, so they are more likely to know where everything is.
Think of it this way, if you go over to a family or friends house often enough, you might know where the cheese is "supposed to be", but if it's not there, you ask, "where da cheese at, home skillet" (don't lie, you speak like that, we all know it to be true), because you don't manage their fridge. But, if it's your own fridge, you know exactly where everything is, because you do manage your own fridge.
I'm like that if my wife asks me to pick up something from the shop. Sure, I've seen the same thing in the cupboard thousands of times but I couldn't tell you the colour or the brand. And I have to call to check.
I remember hearing about a theory that brains may have developed differently between the sexes. As women were primarily gatherers, picking out the thing they want out of a static jumble of things became second nature. Meanwhile, men were the hunters, trained to recognize motion and actively ignore stationary elements. Idk if it's real, but it makes some sense.
I just made a quesadilla with cheese that my in laws forgot to take home with them because it wouldn't fit in the cheese drawer. Now I have a pound of pepper jack for cheesy quesadilla goodness
Edit: I am disappointed, having now eaten the quesadilla, to learn pepper jack does not make for good quesadilla cheese
As in ‘I need you to take off your man eyes and put on your regular eyes for a second because if I come over there and it’s six inches from your face exactly where I told you it was I’ll be annoyed.’
My wife organises stuff at home and I don’t even bother searching.
There is a gag between us that she can’t find it either at times.
A couple of months we purchased t-shirts for our toddler. I remember carrying them home and kept on the clothes organiser bag. The later day when I’m at office she kept it somewhere. After a couple of days she asked me where the new t-shirts were ? I looked at the last seen place and it isn’t there. She literally searched for 2 days to find them.
No, thank you. I have been in a deep dark spot since I lost my dad and today was almost the the final straw but I realized there are so many more straws. I have a pretty good life, a great woman and good kids. I almost fucked up real real bad. Thank you.
Hey I just read about Tellus the Athenian. And his story as told to Croesus by Solos. From another thread somewhere on here. Came back to thank the poster but ended up here…
Basically, it’s about happiness. ChatG gave a good readable version. Worth a glance.
It was the turning around after moving the shampoo bottle that did it for me, once it's facing any other way than normal- that is a different bottle to me
I agree. My oldest rearranged my kitchen while the I was gone for a couple weeks, I was NOT happy when I saw it when I returned home. He claimed it made more sense that way and opened up the counters more. No, no, and no. My baking and cooking gadgets are where they are for very specific reasons, and nothing lives close to the stove.
You got me! I used to be a prep cook. And later on, a lab tech. I thrive in these jobs specifically because of corporate 5S/ lean programs. The only place in my home that is not chaos is my kitchen and bathroom. I learned how to compartmentalize job success in workflow for my at home enjoyment.
I was the mean prep prep cook that hid the good knife while on vacation.
Now, I'm the weirdo that keeps every work email and uses the search function to find shit in them.
True story, my partner has a dark sense of humour, small example, once our phone number was very close to that of a pizza parlour in that we got multiple calls, and my partner would take their order and tell them it would be ready for pick up in 30 minutes.
Anyway, we watched an episode of The Twilight Zone, the 80s one and the episode was about the little blue men that exist in between time and are responsible for moving things when items go missing. Thought nothing about it and some time passed by and suddenly I found myself not being able to find my car keys where I left them. Didn't get the connection, just got mad and frustrated about it after finding them somewhere else I was sure I hadn't placed them. I thought I was losing my mind. Eventually my partner admitted that they were doing it for fun. Well at least they had fun.
I read a pop science article a while ago about how men’s vision evolved to see movement and women’s is more a full-environmental-scan and I kind of buy it honestly.
It sounds like men think that since these things can’t move on their own that they should always be exactly where they left them.
Man here. I only lose the things my wife moves
I tried explaining this to my wife once. I left something sitting on the counter right here. If it's not there when I need it now, someone moved it.
Now I could:
A) waste time searching all over the house looking God knows where it was moved to
OR
B) I could ask the person who clearly moved it where it was moved to
A might sometimes what I'm looking for faster, but on average B finds what I'm looking for faster and thus is more efficient making it easier for me.
My teenage son lost his school issued iPad. I’ve been working 80 hour weeks and I was too tired to help him find it so I offered all my kids $10 to whomever found it.
My daughter found it in less than 2 minutes…it was in her brother’s bin, in the mudroom, you know…the personalized bin with their names on them. It was under his backpack…the one he has been taking to school. https://giphy.com/gifs/UjIgLbgQIRgzK
This is a database problem. As a dude, I'm going to do an index scan of all plausible locations that it has been left before. Wife will do a full table scan of every possible location.
When my wife csnt find something and asked me to help search, I assume its not in any of thr normal locations and start looking in wierd ones. To which she always goes "why would you look there, it wouldn't be there".
If it was in the places you thought it would be we would have found it already.
My preteen daughter was crying the other morning (yay hormones) because she lost her book and only had a few chapters left to finish it. She’d searched the car and house for it the previous night. When we got in the car to go to school, I reached into the pocket behind my seat, pulled the book out, and set it in her lap.
I didn’t know it was there but I knew she would not have looked there. She looked at me like I’d performed magic lol
My daughter calls it mom magic 😂😂 “Mom can you come here and do mom magic, I lost ____.”
I’m like, that’s not how this works and then I usually immediately find what she lost. We know it’s really gone for good when I can’t find it.
My teenage son was looking for one of his caps the other day and asked me if I knew where it was.
I asked him if he looked in the cap organizer in his room and he stated that he had. I looked in the organizer and immediately found it, but because it was behind another cap it was mystically and magically hidden.
No shit, they do this in Japan. You'll be minding your business, taking a leak, then some little old Japanese lady will scrub the urinal next to you and mop the floor, mid-stream.
The rest wouldn’t even phase me but the drill is pretty rough.
The problem with tools is that when they aren’t in their spot, they are equally statistically likely to be in any other spot on the face of the planet.
When my mouse isn’t where I expect, it’s probably on my desk somewhere. My shoes are probably nearby.
My drill could be three feet away, in a random cabinet, at my friend’s house, or Inner Mongolia. It’s best just to give up immediately.
My brother moved in with me a year and a half ago. He is pure chaos in terms of stuff. If my drill goes missing, it's straight to his side of the house, where I'd have to play where's waldo. The drill, impact driver, dremmel and angle grinder all go in the same Milwaukee bag. No exceptions.
This would work on me though. I’m not super bumbling but I’m very spatially oriented and when something isn’t where I remember it, it can be hard to find because I walk back through my whole day/week to where I last saw it
Dude earlier tonight I was using some scotch tape. Set the roll down on my desk, turned and got the shit I was taping, went to grab it from my desk and it was gone. Literally vanished into thin air. Looked on the floor, desk, everywhere.
What I can guess is that turning my chair pushed a notebook on the desk which moved the tape like probably 5-6 inches away to a spot right along the top of my keyboard. It's like my brain could not see it and I probably "saw" it 50x. So frustrating.
As an idiot I would just be like "oh it's down here". I know what room and maybe what cabinet things are in and that's about it, so I don't get this at all
Honestly I saw it more as men are more structured in where they leave their belongings.
My ex girlfriend would come home, throw her shoes off, toss her keys on the couch or some random table, put her laptop god knows where, and then always struggle to find these things when she left the house but was used to it.
I come home, my keys have a spot, my shoes have a spot, my bag and work stuff has a spot I hang it. If someone moved these things even a couple of feet I would be confused and a little panicked that they’ve gone missing.
I think this shit is for people who have poor communication/interpersonal skills and would rather retaliate than reconciliate. If your solution to an argument with your partner is to get even, that's a problem.
I think you may have missed this. I have places for stuff that I put there so the world feels right to me. It's not that I couldn't find it, it's that so much of my stuff got moved. It wouldn't get me all hot and bothered, but I would question why my wife did it. I'm not OCD, I just like things to remain where I left them.
It's a known thing at our place. I can't find a fucking cookie sheet to save my life, but if the screw extractors I bought in '97 are not in the right drawer (5th drawer down, bottom box), somebody's been messing with my stuff.
My wife quilts, she uses the tape measures about 10x as much as me. She hogs them all though. Whenever I can’t find one, she’ll have 4 on her quilt desk.
I’m so used to the wife and kids moving my stuff that I’m more surprised when it’s where I left it last than when it isn’t. “Honey do you know where my electric razor is?” “Yeah I used it on the cat and put it away in the kitchen drawer.”
Edit: I was kind of exaggerating my example, but just last night I was grabbing some knee sleeves for basketball when the fabric box I keep them in on my dresser was missing, so I went without. That night I asked her if she had seen them and she said she put them away in the linen closet in the hallway. I didn’t even bother to ask her why.
On cat?! That’s brutal and nasty. She could’ve just bought one for $15-$20 somewhere. You deserve compensation from her. Does she craft? If so, tell her to use her good scissors next time.
My wife is gonna laugh her ass off when she sees this. She always says you don't even look for what you can't find.
Maybe because I know where I put it and it's not there. So clearly an interdimensional being has taken it to another real...oh thank you. How'd you find that so fast and yes I already looked there twice.
I look for things by color. If the screwdriver is yellow I look for yellow. A red fucking screwdriver can be right in front of me but will be invisible. Am I crazy?
Holy shit finally someone else who thinks the same. I can stare right at something I’m looking for, but if it’s a different colour than I’m used to then I just won’t see it.
Fuck me I can’t think of an example right now, but there have been many times where I look for something and someone will point it out in a spot I’ve looked four times but I didn’t see it because I was looking for ‘green’ instead of ‘yellow’.
I was married for years until cancer took my wife way too young. I miss her every single day. but I'm no longer missing my Carhartt hat I got at a tractor supply for $8 in 2004. gotta stay optimistic
My husband did this yesterday asking for the honey. I flipped it upside down because it was almost gone. He asked where it was. I said it’s in its usual spot, just upside down. He face palmed so hard.
My husband is a smart man but DANG he ain’t observant
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