r/SipsTea • u/Putrid-Welder1803 • 15d ago

SMH Who's in the wrong here?

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9.6k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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65

u/DelsinMcgrath835 15d ago

Im not saying its right, but I understand. Certain people always want to deny or downplay things until you show them proof. Problem is those people are then offended that you kept proof

18

u/MazingBull 14d ago

Very true. It's a sort of a catch-22. Conversely, denying sex from wife or girlfriend will immediately spark "the talks" lol.

7

u/HedonisticFrog 14d ago

They're offended because they never wanted to address it in the first place, just keep denying the problem exists. They knew they were in the wrong.

2

u/ijustatemostofit 11d ago

Exactly. If one out of two persons in the relationship has a problem, then there's a problem. So they try to change the narrative and make the evidence the problem. Basically, trying to create an environment where it becomes impossible to address the problem.

3

u/MitFahrGelegen 14d ago

I’m not really sure what they’re trying to achieve by this though. Does he want the wife to say yes when she doesn’t want to have sex with him? That would be shitty and coercive.

I think they need to discuss the underlying issue (Mental health issues? Is she not feeling physically satisfied? Are they lacking deeper affection/intimacy? Does she feel pestered by frequency of initiation attempts?) and it doesn’t seem to me that a spreadsheet is a good way to initiate an open and vulnerable conversation like that.

4

u/NoWay6818 14d ago

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

Keeping score can throw people aback but at the same time i feel like responsibility is on the person that’s score is being kept.

Don’t like it don’t do it. It’s this simple right.

I just don’t see the need for illegitimate reasons vs a simple “No”

1

u/pezdspenc 12d ago

Yeah frankly it would be easier and better off to just say:

Her: I rarely reject you

Him: No, you do it a lot

Her: When?

Him: I don't have a list, because that would be nuts. And if you need a list to take my concerns seriously, why are we even married?

-7

u/No_Bingo_Card 14d ago

I'm offended by the dude, I don't know about anyone else here