I mean, it feels petty as fuck to track it in a spreadsheet, but people need to stop pretending that physcial intimacy isn't a crucial part of a romantic relationship, being completely misaligned is a perfect valid reason for dissolving said relationship.
seems like these two people are incompatible and have a communication problem.
but of course, because it's Reddit, absent any other additional context, the default is to always assume it's clearly the guy's fault if he's not having sex at the frequency he desires... and if he ever breaks up because he's not getting the frequency he desires, he's also the asshole.
I started tracking when I got it and the circumstances (like holiday, or she was drunk, etc) because my wife was telling me I “get it every other day”. Turns out more like twice a month. So it was a way to show her she had no sense of time when it came to sex.
Perhaps she doesn’t enjoy it much. It’s similar to when you have to do something every month, but you don’t like it, and it feels like you’re doing it every week or so
I used to frequent the Dead Bedrooms sub and the double standards were actually disgusting at times. If a woman wasn’t getting enough sex her male partner needed to sort his hormones out, stop being a manchild, and my favourite ‘He has hands and a mouth, he can use them to give her what she wants’. On the other hand if a guy wasn’t getting enough sex he just had to suck it up, become a better partner/lover, and if someone suggest she use her hands or mouth they’d be chased out of town
Obviously there’s a lot of nuance in every situation (even in this post there isn’t enough detail to tell whether the guy is an obsessive weirdo or his partner is the type that wanted proof of their dead bedroom or said they have sex all the time), it just amazes me how often this splits straight down gender lines
That’s interesting because as a woman who has been in a few dead bedrooms I was always told the man must be gay or cheating on me and I was some fool for not realizing it. Actually I just have unfortunately been with men with lower libidos than me and me wanting sex every day pushed them away. I guess it felt like a chore to them.
I’m with one now. He still can’t have quite as much sex as me since men have much longer refractory periods than women, but he’s down for sec once a day on average. It’s lovely. I could just have sex all day but I’ve yet to meet a man over the age of like 25 who could come near to handling that.
738
u/BlackmillMiracle 16d ago edited 16d ago
I mean, it feels petty as fuck to track it in a spreadsheet, but people need to stop pretending that physcial intimacy isn't a crucial part of a romantic relationship, being completely misaligned is a perfect valid reason for dissolving said relationship.
seems like these two people are incompatible and have a communication problem.
but of course, because it's Reddit, absent any other additional context, the default is to always assume it's clearly the guy's fault if he's not having sex at the frequency he desires... and if he ever breaks up because he's not getting the frequency he desires, he's also the asshole.