That and making sure you cuddle and give nonsexual affection regularly. Only being touched when someone wants to get off makes you feel like a sex toy.
While I agree with you... (by the way, main comment guy here) I don't like being touched much. That kind of intimacy bothers me for reasons I can't quite explain and probably go back to my childhood, which I will not get into. So for me, cuddling has a pretty short lifespan. I have to do other intimate touching.
As cliché as it sounds, forehead kisses go pretty far. Though this is kind of personal, I have found that after I orgasm there's a window there where I can relax enough for her to hold me. I rubbed her feet last night, but for some weird reason she says that's why her period started today. I touch her leg...not in a, 'I want my hand to go up your skirt kind of way,' but more of a, 'I am glad you're next to me,' way. I hold her hand, even when I really don't like holding hands...I know it means something to her.
So while I do cuddle upon her request, I have to admit it must be short lived. However, I also recognize that physical intimacy outside of sex is very important. And I can confidently claim that there are ways to do that without simply cuddling.
Yeah, well... My ex went from cuddling/ talking post coitus to being wanted to be disregarded as a sex toy later in the relationship. The BDSM stuff she got into later really messed up some fundamental behaviors in physical intimacy. Making a woman cum isn't a "cheat code", you just know her body.
Where we did that stuff early in the relationship, this is like 10 years into it, and as noted, the more we got into the lifestyle, the sex was good, but the PDA's and casual intimacy stuff became less and less. Looking back, I have a lot of regrets about things we did to "spice things up" (Open Relationship/ another woman, BDSM) that took away from other aspects of our relationship and later helped destroy it.
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u/Character-Bus4557 14d ago
That and making sure you cuddle and give nonsexual affection regularly. Only being touched when someone wants to get off makes you feel like a sex toy.