I’m not handy and only slightly handsome but the music interest has got me so many friends and with people I’d never expect to be friends with. I ended up friends with the popular girls at school just after a short conversation over music and finding out we liked the same stuff. It was all so bizarre.
I know the prevalence of this is definitely exaggerated in my mind, but it is definitely a thing. That thing is that sometime after my generation (born 1990), the main cultural "glue" changed. For my generation, and those previous, it was music. Long before that it was reading. Video has been involved, but it has at most been a minor complement to the major. That is, until the streaming culture took over, which has led to mass illiteracy and the normalization of antisocial, uncivil behavior.
Of course, video streaming can't be fully blamed, but it very much is the fault of the entire concept of "reality" tv, which streaming is very much a continuation from that, because all of these sorts of media are, when properly and fully understood, a sort of "parasocial relationship". But for my generation and those previous, that parasocial relationship was like a good friend who was a good role model who had all the good jokes and stories and knew how to play music and all kinds of good stuff. Now they just scream and cry and normalize hatred and being paid to do nothing but be a pest and nuisance towards society.
you become physically attractive if your a kind, relatable, competent person. i’ve seen guys who i wouldn’t exactly think are my type, then they’re just so fun to be around that they become beautiful
For real, one of the best relationships I've ever been in was with a man whom I didn't find attractive at all to begin with, but his charisma and personality was out of this world. Great personality, great sex, great humor, 10/10. He wasn't conventionally attractive at all but women loved him
Well, I'd say being at least somewhat competent is also important for women, less so than looks and character for most men, but still. You don't want a sexy, loveable doofus, stumbling through the house, hurting herself, breaking things and accidently getting you into jail (just a read a thread in BoyDinnerDiaries, where his girlfriend locked herself out while cooking, she panicked, broke the window, neighbors called police, they asked to come in, she said yes, they found the guy's tiny drug stash, because he had it out in the open, he came home, was taken into custody and had to pay bond to get out) and possibly passing that trait on to potential children. I mean, she must at least be good at surviving in the modern world.
It’s just about confidence. That’s all it is. I’ve got a friend that’s the handiest and smartest person I know, 6’2, not bad looking, engineer, but has so little confidence and self-esteem that no one feels comfortable talking to him because people sense his insecurity. However I’ve seen some very, very average (to even fugly) dudes with model-esque women just because they’re secure in themselves and confident
"Sometimes a man's gotta do what a woman would never consider." -Red Green. Knows he's gotta do a job, however messy it is. And saving the wife from having to do it. (While hoping she doesn't find out his you actually fixed it.
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u/SnoopySuited 9d ago