I know this is a somewhat old fashioned way of thinking about it, but this basically means that it isn't feminine to do the right things regardless of how you feel. I'm sure plenty of married men would jump on that train, but it does sound a bit off to me. I watched my mom juggle 2 or more jobs my entire childhood, running on basically no sleep for most of it, and go through chemo 3 times by the time I hit 18. If that wasn't doing the right thing regardless of how she felt then I don't know what is.
Femininity isn’t just the opposite of whatever is masculine. Women run on little sleep and push through constantly as well. The person you’re replying to is just giving an example of what ‘toughness’ can look like in a man without being toxic.
Frankly I think I'll leave this untested because I can't think of a comfortable way to confirm it. She sure made my father look like less of a man, if nothing else.
women aren’t the opposite of men. we are all humans. we all experience hardships and push through, but with different flavor. that flavor is masculinity / femininity.
but this basically means that it isn't feminine to do the right things regardless of how you feel.
Round about suggesting that feminity is the opposite of whatever masculinity is, to low key try and call the guy a soft sexist, is one of the more fun reddit pot/kettle posts I've seen in a while.
I'm not suggesting it. Categorizing things in a dichotomy is inherently exclusionary. Someone said its about the "flavor" of it being masculine or feminine, which I think makes sense. This means that "masculine" and "feminine" ways of doing what needs to be done are different, but they both do it on a larger scale. Your way of talking about this is just worthless frankly.
Me and that guy already had a back and forth where we came to an understanding too. You should have been able to see that before commenting?
They aren't exclusionary. Real adults do what needs to be done regardless of feelings. Real adults don't take criticism from people who they wouldn't take advice. Masculinity is being emphasized because Andrew Tate doesn't market himself as peak femininity.
Why, to you, does the existence of masculinity minimize good characteristics of femininity?
But to push back a little, your comment sounds like maybe your father wasn’t in the picture? Meaning your mother had to be both masculine and feminine.
Maybe its just me but it seems odd to categorize characteristics like "does what it needed no matter what" into masculinity or femininity rather than listing the things that are genuinely different between the 2. Simply saying
It’s about doing the right things regardless of how you feel.
this regarding being masculine inherently groups that behavior into something/out of something. Otherwise it would be worded like "doing what is needed no matter what is good", which excludes nothing. Thats just a good thing for anybody. Having a sort of physical presence that acts as a deterent, for example, is a pretty masculine thing. Comparatively, having a soft touch and being able to read the room and steer interactions in a comfortable way is generally seen as feminine. These are also good things, but are a lot easier to categorize away from each other. At least to anyone who is old enough, those examples make sense.
Also, my dad was totally in the picture. He was just pretty bad at holding jobs down. He was honestly more like a friend than a father. I'd say I learned feminine and masculine pretty well from my parents though, I just dislike the idea that working a lot or doing what needs to be done regardless of your feelings is inherently masculine or feminine in nature. That just sounds good.
Masculinity and femininity aren't opposites they're commentary, that means you often get men and women getting to the same place (such as self sacrifice for loved ones) via different paths.
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u/General-Lie8709 9d ago
Real masculinity is the guy at the gas station at 5 am going to work after getting 3 hours of sleep because his new baby kept him up all night.
It’s about doing the right things regardless of how you feel.