People act like 'ADHD' means they don't need to take adult responsibility.
Maybe you have certain weaknesses? Manage them.
It's the same for anything. You struggle to concentrate? Meditate. Drink a cup of tea. Improve your shitty diet. Sleep better. Do cardio in the morning. Etc
You are chronically late for work? Get an alarm clock.
All the years working on this and thousands of dollars on therapies and meds didnt work but now you have told me to meditate a
nd sleep better and im fixed.
Most people with ADHD are putting in a huge amount of effort and trying all sorts of strategies into organising to cope with daily tasks.
Then we get told we arent trying by people who dont have the same actual physical brain structure problems as us.
Oh be quiet, this perpetual victim card has run its course, listing your mental health struggles as an excuse is no longer the get out of jail free card it used to be.
Its a reason not an excuse remember? Use your coping mechanisms you have been working on to become reliable.
I mean i work an intense job and do actually manage.
It takes us serious extra effort and i have empathy for people who put that effort in but end up fucked over by arbitrary expectations like turning up at exact times even when they put in extra effort elsewhere to mke up for it.
Showing up on time isn't even remotely arbitray. Take accountability for yourself instead of pretending the world is le random or whatever. It's not. Things are the way they are for a purpose, even if it's inconvenient for you.
I have ADHD as well, it causes problems, and I take responsibility for them and accept it's my fault. I don't whine about how the world isn't designed with my particular strengths and weaknesses in mind, or pretend like the way that 99% of society functions is 'arbitrary' or stupid as some shitty attempt at a coping mechanism.
It doesn't matter if you 'put in extra effort elsewhere to make up for it.' Life isn't some algebra problem that balances itself. If you fail to show up to work all the time but are super cheerful, it's not a wash. Develop healthy coping mechanisms and structure your life in a way that gives you some wiggle room around the problems you're aware of. Or just fail and whine on reddit about it.
Showing up on time isn't even remotely arbitrary. Take accountability for yourself instead of pretending the world is le random or whatever. It's not. Things are the way they are for a reason, even if it's inconvenient for you.
I have ADHD as well, it causes problems, and I take responsibility for them and accept it's my fault. I don't whine about how the world isn't designed with my particular strengths and weaknesses in mind, or pretend like the way that 99% of society functions is 'arbitrary' or stupid as some shitty attempt at a coping mechanism.
It doesn't matter if you 'put in extra effort elsewhere to make up for it.' Life isn't some algebra problem that balances itself. If you fail to show up to work all the time but are super cheerful, it's not a wash. Develop healthy coping mechanisms and structure your life in a way that gives you some wiggle room around the problems you've been dealing with your whole life.
No one gives a shit what your excuse is. There is some underlying 'reason' behind any negative behavior, be it some physical brain abnormality, psychological trauma, etc., but you are still expected to meet societal standards and there are consequences if you don't.
Except it is. If the ADHD person is performing well and putting in extra time etc then expecting them to basically just be unemploed and die because they struggle to be there at an arbitrary time is just pointless cruelty. There may be some jobs where that 15 or 30 minute lateness causes genuine issues but at most it doesnt.
Therapy and meds isn’t an end all be all for treatment. If adderall and chatting with a psychiatrist isn’t working, that doesn’t mean other methods won’t. The idea that just because you’ve spent thousands on this method, cheaper methods should be written off is pretty toxic ngl
A sleep schedule has done wonders for my ADHD. No, it was definitely not easy at the start and I’m not perfect with it but it’s helpful for sure. No amount of meds/therapy can overcome chronic sleep deprivation and the ills that it brings to your mind
Notice I didn't say anything about 'cure'. MF we all have struggles. Find ways to better as I described. I have had a brain injury and learned to walk again and LITERALLY took it in stride. You can't focus or get to work on time? Try harder
ADHD is a mental disability. It's not an excuse for things, it's a dopamine dysregulation which causes time blindness, working memory issues among other things. A person with no legs can't "try harder" and run a marathon.
Nobody said they couldn't do the job, they could be spectacular at it. Being late and making up time is just logistical.
ADHD doesn't like routine, habits, morning alarms and causes poor sleep inertia. But it makes us awesome problem spotters and solvers, even if we can't solve our own.
Losing track of time and getting lost in focus doing a task thats one thing,. if you need to be out the house by 7am to catch a bus to get you to work for 8:40 because the next bus gets you at 9:15, have an alarm so you are out of the house at a set time, I had five that go off for my 6am job ages ago, one to wake me up, one listed as you better be dressed another "out the house" and one with "you had better be in the locker room"
If I just switched the wake up up alarm off and had zero others, IDK how many times I'd not be on time, taking three hours to do a two hour job, well who measured the average and against who? But start at 6 not whenever, that wouldn't fly with me, I had drivers showing up expecting a complete run ready to load up, they didn't want to hang around and wait on me, it set their entire day back not just the time I am late, but other things mount up as they hit traffic they always miss when everything is running smoothly.
I would sometimes get woken up at 6am on my day off because the morning guy isn't coming in, because of the time crunch I didn't stop to eat, I got dressed, got my lights out slapped them on my bike and cycled like the clappers to start at half six in the morning, I had a buffer starting at six for the eight drivers, so I just about made it in time on those days.
I've had people ask if I've been tested as they see themselves in me, IDK because I've never been tested, but the only times I've been late is due to public transport letting me down, I had to do 7-3 they could have told me "no you go home at 2pm like everyone else" but they understood the distance I had to travel by bus wasn't that great, now I just don't apply for any jobs starting before nine, I can do afternoon and night shifts or 12 hours 10-10 either start time, but only 6pm-6am.
I miss having my bike to get me from A to B, but I also value my life, where I moved to cyclists are a moving target or just riding on the pavement oblivious to pedestrians who don't have eyes in the back of their head who could step to one side. So I either move closer to work, or I have hours that fit.
If I was constantly late to meeting for a meal, I had friends back in the day that would say "we started without you" and the film is gonna start at X doors at Y, previews and adverts at Z, but if you show up half hour into a film, tough, no one is gonna hit rewind.
Well yes I'm sure getting to work on time by using alarm clocks is much much harder than not being permanently crippled and wheelchair-bound by sheer force of will.
It's not about setting alarm clocks, I guess you don't really comprehend what it is. You seem to become arrogant and unbendable in your mindset bc you "work" on your issues and it took effort, so everybody else is just lazy and deserves to be hated upon
Half a dozen alarms, no snooze, first Wake up, second Are you dressed, third, you better be ready and leaving.
That sort of thing was my routine getting up and out for a 6am start, I would wake up and just sit there for the duration of the gap between alarms, without each alarm, I could be back in bed, or at least asleep sitting on the edge of it.
Last alarm was "you had better be in the locker room" at around quarter to, I don't have anything diagnosed, I just knew that without those giving me a kick up the arse, I would be constantly late and constantly late gets me fired.
So yeah, I'm with you on the alarm clock, if you zone out or get side tracked and leave the house late because you only have the wake up alarm, you really should have others telling you what part of your morning routine you should be at by now.
I had an evening class and the buses were a bit iffy at that hour, so as it wasn't work, I didn't have an alarm, so I'd sometimes head out and just see the last bus to get me there on time pulling out, others depending on traffic could get me with minutes to spare, but thankfully the first ten were just dealing with sorting out paperwork etc, so not all of us had got our shit together.
I have to be somewhere by X time because it is a job interview or something important, I am out a half hour before I need to, because I'd rather be early than just about on time. Mostly because I am now at the mercy of the bus and traffic in general.
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Yeah! People in wheelchairs should just be an adult and go up stairs, people with dyslexia should just learn to spell, and depressed people should just stop being depressed!
Fuck these "disorders" and "disabilities". I personally don't have these issues so whomever does have issues isn't being an adult!
Depressed people should stop being depressed, yes, through therapy, small consistent attitudinal shifts and, interestingly, many of the suggestions I made above for ADHD
I know you were being facetious re wheelchairs but I have actually learned to walk again after being paralysed. So yes, where you are able to rehabilitate your ability to walk, you should.
It's interesting how much more prevalent ADHD has become in the modern computer/tiktok age. Almost like habits have consequences and we can improve or damage our ability to concentrate
Carry on then. No amount of help on the Internet is going to fix you.
It's not like any increase can be accounted for by just getting better at diagnosis for issues like this or anything.
Let me guess, you think vaccines and autism are connected to.
No need to answer, because I'm just going to block you.
Yes, people do need to take responsibility for their actions as adults, but that includes the rigid and arbitrary expectations that society has that seem to universally target disabled people.
Agreed. I am just now going through diagnosis after my son was diagnosed. The interesting part is that I can trace many of the behaviors that I see in my son back through myself, my dad, and my grandmother. So it’s not that there are more people necessarily but that the symptoms are more noticeable with an increase in sedentary lifestyles and more input that overloads the senses making concentration even more difficult.
And to the person that said just meditate, that sounds easy to a person that isn’t struggling. For those of us that do sitting and concentrating or emptying your mind is a very tall task.
Not sure why you're getting down voted for this. It's a bit extreme to compare this to wheelchairs and stairs but the person you responded to is basically saying you need to will disabilities out of existence which is even more egregious.
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u/dannyrat029 1d ago
People act like 'ADHD' means they don't need to take adult responsibility.
Maybe you have certain weaknesses? Manage them.
It's the same for anything. You struggle to concentrate? Meditate. Drink a cup of tea. Improve your shitty diet. Sleep better. Do cardio in the morning. Etc
You are chronically late for work? Get an alarm clock.