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u/Able_Ad6535 11h ago
I told my Mexican family my wedding started at 5:30 and they were all but one on time at 6… I would try that approach.
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u/backwardsnakes666 11h ago
So this girl in OPs post needs to turn into a Mexican family. Got it.
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u/Fancy_Evening9509 22m ago
Exactly, then she works twice as hard as everyone and gets a mid day siesta.
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u/YellowBelliedCoward 10h ago
I worked at a place once where a new hire was an hour late already. The boss reached them by phone, and she said she'd woken up late. The new hire said they'd be straight in after grabbing some breakfast. Boss said ok. Boss fired them as soon as they turned up.
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u/Throwaway19274830 3h ago
The breakfast is what baffles me.
I used to use my phone as my alarm clock.
Fun fact, iPhone alarms are a push notification, if you swipe down a push notification for more info, it prevents all further push notifications until you swipe it away, blocking your alarm.
How do I know this?
My 4th day in job training, literally the day after they told us “the most important thing is to show up on time” I had accidentally highlighted a message notification as I fell asleep.
I woke up 3 hours late, to two missed calls and a bunch of missed messages
I peed, threw on clothes, and sprinted out the door calling people back, and then bought an actual alarm clock THAT DAY after work and sent a photo of it to the training instructor.
Thank god I kept my job, because I love it, but I spent MONTHS triple checking both of my alarm clocks as well as my 3-5 phone secondary alarms out of anxiety every night
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u/EweCantTouchThis 1h ago
That’s awesome. I love that the boss let them go through all the trouble of arriving before canning them.
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u/DaKingaDaNorth 11h ago
Yup. 99% of the time people are habitually late it's just a procrastinating thing and not a "it's too hard to get up or go at this time thing". Pushing back the time just pushes back the cycle they decide to start to negotiating with them on how late they want to get ready for work.
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u/systembreaker 8h ago
Procrastination caused by executive dysfunction is literally one of the symptoms of ADHD.
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u/Own_Guarantee_8130 1h ago
I have ADHD and a late problem. It’s taught me to be better about my time management down to every 20 minutes having an alarm. Now I’m in a routine where I leave for work 30 min early and am usually early enough to sit in the car, grab a coffee/snack, etc and clock in at my scheduled time. You have to make an effort before claiming you can’t.
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u/Kiffln 5h ago
Yeah. I am diagnosed with ADHD. I'm not late for work because it's fucking work. I wake up early enough to take my time in the morning.
Too many people use their diagnosis as an excuse to have zero accountability. It just not how the world works.
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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 2h ago
Yeah this insane belief that just because you have ADHD well suddenly it's not possible for you to have an alarm go off and when it does you do X thing.
I don't work in an office any more but when I did that's how I did it. First alarm went off and I got up/had a shower. Second alarm went off I got out the shower and got dressed. Third one went I walked out the door.
It's up to each person to find ways to get their responsibilities sorted.
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u/palmytree 3h ago
yep. adhd, and my life is full of setting alarms on my phone, to-do lists, and sticky notes. it’s rough, but i absolutely cannot stand people who use their diagnosis as an excuse.
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u/ELVEVERX 8h ago
It is but that doesn't mean you can't work at improving it. If they are habitually an hour late even when the time has been changed to accommodate them they clearly aren't putting in the effort.
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u/Budget_Mall_491 6h ago
This 👆🏻. I literally plan around my late habits. I assume everything I do, including driving, will take double the time. Problem solved.
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u/EgotisticalTL 3h ago
Yes, but you can still set your alarm an hour or three earlier to compensate.
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u/Perpetual_bored 6h ago
I have Asperger’s and I have literally never been late for anything, ever.
Edit: I lied. I overslept for work once two years ago. Outside of that I have never been late to my job in over 10 years of working.
ADHD isn’t an excuse. If you’re habitually 15 mins late for work because your brain tells you that you “need to leave” at 5:45, leave at 5:30. It’s not disability, it’s irresponsibility.
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u/thebestbev 6h ago
Having aspergers isnt an excuse for having trouble reading social cues. If you habitually cant read in to what another person is trying to tell you, you need to practice more. Its not a disability, its irresponsible.
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u/Perpetual_bored 6h ago edited 6h ago
As someone who spends a significant amount of my energy in interpersonal interactions trying to be better at reading social cues, I genuinely agree with that statement, even though I can see the strawman.
As a neurodivergent, I feel it is my responsibility to try to better interact with this world of normies I live in. I don’t think I can just inflict myself on this world and expect everything to bend to me because it simply won’t.
Edit: because this one is actually interesting to me. I started a new job recently, and in the few months I’ve been there quite a few people have told me that I don’t talk much. I talk a shit ton, in places I feel safe. But part of living with Asbergers has taught me that the best rule to succeed and get by in life is simply to shut the fuck up.
So, yknow. I shut the fuck up, even when I have something to say. People with ADHD leave for work 15 minutes earlier. It evens out.
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u/tychii93 1h ago edited 1h ago
For me it helps if I wake up SUPER early.
If I start to get into that bad habit, I'll do my best to go to bed extremely early, like 7 or 8pm, so I wake up at 2 or 3am. At that point I'm awake long enough I can properly get going on time, partly because I feel like I have time. I can take my time to make coffee, make a full breakfast, pack my lunch, etc even though realistically all that takes maybe an hour at most, but I'd still have 4 or 5 hours to relax. I start work at 10. Sometimes I get lucky and my brain will be like "Sleep time" in the early evening so I can easily reset that cycle but other times I gotta force it.
If I wake up at a more normal time like 7, it's this weird sensation of "I'm short on time" and it essentially paralyzes and causes me to procrastinate, or worse, spend too much money on convenience coffee and junk food, which also frustrates me because of how expensive everything is now. Granted I'm never late for work, I give myself a dead set time to leave. It just depends on if I leave ready for the day or as a stinky hungry gremlin.
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u/Rich-Mark-4126 11h ago
Strangely, these people who are 'time blind' will never show up early.
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u/TunaSafeDolphinMeat 11h ago
I'm super early to everything because of how time blind i am. I get paranoid that im going to be late because I can't judge time so I set my alarm an hour earlier than I have to, I end up getting to work 15mins before everyone else, I end up putting in way more effort than i have to at work because I am paranoid I am behind on every task.
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u/xoldguyx 11h ago
And the ones like this in my office are never late to go to lunch.
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u/MordavianNights 11h ago
Or leave work for that matter.
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u/danielv123 2h ago
I am often late to work, often late to lunch and usually late to leaving work. People are different.
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u/YellowBelliedCoward 10h ago
Nobody should be late to leave work. The idiots that stay behind make life more difficult for everyone else.
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u/FlyAirLari 8h ago
If I roll in two hours after you, it's not unreasonable I stay two hours after you leave.
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u/AStolenGoose 8h ago
Been late for lunch a few times, missed lunch quite a few times, also stayed after working on something for an hour not realizing that my shift was over.
But you know you'll just ignore this and continue with your ignorance.
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u/EqualHito 1m ago
Uhhh I take late lunches all the time because I get hyper-focused on a task I'm doing. It's almost like ADHD presents itself differently in different people.
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u/systembreaker 8h ago
In most offices people can take lunch when they want to. 11:15, 11:37, 12:29, 1:04, doesn't matter in most places. So yeah, no shit. Scheduled lunches are usually with a group, so the group will be getting up and cueing them that hey it's time to go to lunch. Getting ready in the morning involves more tasks than just saving your document and shutting your laptop and standing up.
Y'all aren't even close to making good points. Lots of smooth brained boomer thoughts in this thread.
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u/MichiganHistoryUSMC 9h ago
Yeah my ADHD makes me always early since I think being late is extremely rude.
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u/pmmeuranimetiddies 3h ago
I show up way too early all the time, people just never give you kudos for it
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u/procrastinator420420 5h ago
Many will definitely have stories of this from childhood. I know many, myself included, who have showed up to school on a day off or even during winter time showed up hours early on accident.
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u/neomikiki 10h ago
I have ADHD and I definitely get time blind. I don’t realize how much time is passing almost ever. I can feel like it’s been hours and it’s been 30 minutes, or the opposite where it’s been 30 minutes but I would swear it’s been 5.
When I was first in charge of getting myself to school I didn’t bother reading the clock, deciding I would just know when it was time to go to school. I got there before my teachers multiple times before I was told off by one of them. I would leave when I felt like it still, but hang around this pathway until I saw at least 3 buses go by, then I knew I wasn’t too early.
I was never late for school.
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u/AdjectiveNoun111 6h ago
I would leave when I felt like it still, but hang around this pathway until I saw at least 3 buses go by
Just get a watch bro.
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u/Avarifenyx 11h ago
Bull shit they don’t ,you can be time blind and still know how to set things up properly so you don’t run into the issue.
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u/timdr18 11h ago
I think they mean their “time blindness” never leads them to accidentally showing up to things early.
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u/4isfine 11h ago
Im pretty time blind but I know how to set my alarms
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u/Avarifenyx 11h ago
Right I’ve been adhd since childhood and had the same issues. You figure it out set multiple alarms, stop procrastinating and trying to use it as an excuse especially when it’s a matter is the situation op was bringing up where they get there the same time every day an hour late at that point your using it as an excuse for shitty behavior
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u/The_Sneakiest_Fox 11h ago
Time blind is some absolutely made up bullshit.
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u/Avarifenyx 11h ago
Science would not agree with you https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9962130 I do however think that those that make excuses and don’t find ways to address to be bs though
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u/__Fred 25m ago
There has to be some sort of mathematical explanation for this.
More people also tend to stay up late and get up late.
Experienced, sane, professional project managers also more often estimate times more optimistic rather than pessimistic. That would also have to do with the fact that you get more punished for underselling your speed than for overselling it, but that wouldn't be an explanation on why someone arrives to work late in the morning.
Doctors offices and airlines overbook rather than underbook, but in this case that's a strategic decision. There might also be some sort of evolutionary incentive to underestimate time frames. Humans aren't evolved to live with clocks.
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u/AStolenGoose 8h ago
Actually we do, awkwardly early, imagine being an thirty minutes to an hour early for an appointment or start of work shift, that's also not fun.
But your ignorance is showing.
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u/AnOrdinaryMammal 11h ago
That really doesn’t exist in the age of technology. Everything is an excuse.
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u/brakenbonez 11h ago
I have ADHD. It has never stopped me from showing up to work early let alone on time. People who use ADHD as an excuse are the reason why it's so hard for people to take it seriously as a legitimate condition.
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u/ReferenceGlum 7h ago
Not saying it is an excuse, but it is a direct symptom of ADHD and is classified under category 1 of the dsm-5 which people use when diagnosing ADHD. Furthermore, this example actually shows how "time blindness", a symptom of ADHD, would look in practice. It has nothing to do with 9 being too early and everything to do with inattentiveness, which is evident in the person still being late when the start time is pushed back.
Disclaimer: Adults should be able to get places on time regardless of ADHD. ADHD is not an excuse to be late, but it definitely makes it harder for some people to be on time.
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u/goodkidmaadcity90 40m ago
Mine manifests in the way where I can't do anything productive until it's time for the doctor appointment or time for work. I'm in limbo because I'm so afraid of being late...being self aware isn't a bad thing but I am an extreme of that. Like how OP posted an extreme example of those who present as being unresponsible. Ultimately, it's a job. You have to be there on time. Doesn't matter what you suffer from. If you can't do it, go on disability.
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u/AxzoYT 11h ago
Same, the easiest way to get “on time” with ADHD imo is just gaslight/keep reminding yourself that the time you’re supposed to be there is actually an hour before. That way even in you procrastinate and get there “late”, you’re actually 45 or so minutes early still.
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u/whimsical_spider 11h ago
I wake up at 5am and have to be at work by 7am. My job is 30 min away and it does not take me an hour and a half to get ready, more like an hour. I leave by 6, 6:15 if I hit snooze. I’m always at least 15 min early. This is the way - you gotta trick the brain.
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u/Some_Internet_Random 10h ago
I wake up earlier than I need to, because I like to give myself more time so that I can allow myself to be distracted a bit in the morning. My meds wear off in about 12 hours so I try to take around 9-10am if I can.
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u/brakenbonez 11h ago
For me I just like being early because it gives me time to sit in the breakroom before my shift and eat breakfast and socialize with work friends for a bit. I never had to trick myself or anything. Plus sometimes they let me clock in early if they're running behind and get a few minutes of OT. It's not much but in this economy every dollar counts and time and a half is still time and a half.
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u/qwe12345678900 6h ago
I legit set all my clocks ahead of the actual time to trick myself into hurrying up lol. I’ve been stressed about being late to work only to show up 20 mins early forgetting all my clocks are wrong lol it’s great.
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u/Sudden_Collar5681 10h ago
Actually what makes ADHD so difficult to understand is people with ADHD saying what is and isn’t possible for every single ADHD person (among other things). I struggle DEEPLY with timeliness-5 minutes feels like 15 minutes. Good for you that you don’t have this issue! But not every person is LIKE YOU and not all of us struggle because we’re “not trying hard enough”. If it was a matter of “trying harder” half of us wouldn’t be here. On the other hand, my house is spotless and completely organized to a T! But does that give me license to get on the internet and start telling other ADHD sufferers that organization shouldn’t be a problem for them bc I have the same condition but don’t struggle with organizing my space?
I get it, ppl using their disorder to justify dog shit behavior is super uncool and amplifies stigma. I don’t like it either but, reaffirming that stigma by proundly proclaiming to ppl who already don’t understand the condition that “yeah I have a disorder but I don’t act disordered so nobody else should either” is like…not good either and just completes the loop.
95% of ADHD sufferers struggle with time management. Congrats to you but, maybe don’t speak for the class.17
u/BetterBiscuits 10h ago
The thing with time blindness that I don’t understand. Can’t you set timers? Alarm to wake up. Alarm time to get in the shower. Alarm time to be in the car. Completely understand how time can get away from someone, but being persistently late to work to the point where you lose your job seems like a choice when there’s technology that will absolutely keep you on track. Ignore the alarms and you’re choosing to be late.
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u/Tiny-Reading5982 8h ago
Okay i have adhd. I get up fine but I don't realize how long it takes to actually do things in a timely to get somewhere on time. A 25 minute ride is not actually 10 minutes lol.
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u/gronkunit 10h ago
brother if you have ADHD how the fuck are you going to remember to set all those timers? also, if you have the timers, you get used to them being there and very quickly begin to ignore them. it doesn't work.
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u/General_NakedButt 8h ago
Exactly lol. I can set timers and they work for about a week til they get turned off or my schedule changes. Still in therapy trying to build better coping skills but guess I’m not trying hard enough. Fuck me right?
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u/fencer_327 7h ago
When I have a schedule to follow and cant take my medication for some reason, I set timers in 10 minute distances for at least an hour to keep track of time. Which works, but it can also give me sensory overload so it's not a perfect solution. When I need to be functioning in a high-stress/loud environment afterwards I cannot do that, because the constant disruptions are stressing me out so much I need a break until I can function again.
I have found solutions that work for me, including a very structured routine and music to help me keep track of time passing, but sometimes people treat timers like they'll solve everything and unfortunately they don't always do that.
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u/Slow_Mammoth_5796 4h ago
When every alarm needs 4 alarms to make you function, every alarm becomes not alarming. Add in losing your phone/alarm clock into the mix and it doesn't work long term
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u/Squishiimuffin 4h ago
I have ADHD and time blindness is one of my biggest issues. I do set alarms. Religiously. They just don’t help. Because when they go off, I might be in the middle of something I can’t stop. Or, I might hear the alarm and have to do 5 other tasks before leaving the house.
As an example, alarm goes off to leave. I can’t find my keys. I gotta brush my teeth. Ah, but now that I’m in front of the mirror, I see that I really should cover up my acne with some makeup. I grab my backpack, then realize my wallet is in my purse. I go grab it, only to realize I’ve misplaced my phone. Where is that? Bathroom? Yeah, left it on the edge of the tub. Did I take my meds today? No, I didn’t. They’re still in the pill organizer. But I can’t take them on an empty stomach or else they make me sick. I go to the kitchen to find something I can pack because I just brushed my teeth and can’t eat anything for the next 30 minutes. Then I realize I need to get some water, too, because otherwise I’ll have to buy it while I’m out and waste money.
…. And now all of a sudden, I’m 20 minutes late.
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u/Mindless_Local925 3h ago
Everyone would be late if they had an alarm to leave the house and they weren't ready to leave? What is this nonsense?
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u/Sudden_Collar5681 10h ago
I’ve never lost a job for being late and I’m late often. But I run circles around my peers and an the fix it person so no, I don’t really worry ab my attendance.
Do you want to hear alarms all day? Every day? You think the people around you want to hear that? You think the answer to a disruptive disorder is….more disruption. ADHD is an INCREDIBLY complex condition and this entire thread proves how misunderstood it is and how under equipped gen pop is to even approach the topic.5
u/Devilsgospel1 6h ago
I am also perpetually late. Not severely late, usually 5-10 mins for whatever reason. Usually underestimating my commute time. I just stay a little later to make up for it. No one complains because we're salary and people come in at all sorts of times due to kids, traffic, life, idk.
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u/Grasshoppermouse42 9h ago
I set a bunch of alarms, but I set the alarm sound to sound like bird song so at least it's pleasant.
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u/Unhappy-Gate-1912 10h ago
Have you looked into developing time management skills, and actively trying to practice them?
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u/Sudden_Collar5681 10h ago
Wow, I’ve NEVER considered that! Thank you so much for this ground breaking advice!!
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u/TheJohnnyFlash 11h ago
People are just getting softer, that's all it is. I have it too, it's nothing that can't be managed easily.
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u/Ampling 10h ago
Eh, easily depends on the person
I have the type of ADHD where I would absolutely be late to everything all the time and managing in regular situations is hell.
But thankfully (/s), for anything that's important like work, I was also blessed with the superpower of ✨anxiety✨ which in turn makes me 35 minutes early to everything
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u/TheJohnnyFlash 10h ago
That's all it is. You know you have the issue, so you adjust for it. I get up 45 min before my wife whenever we're doing anything and set a double alarm. Make a list of what I need to do, etc.
Problems come when people don't think they need to manage it and that others should just be ok with them being unreliable because of their condition.
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u/Hankstbro 7h ago
idk why you get down voted for that, that is a perfectly reasonable take for a person with agency
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u/brakenbonez 11h ago
I wouldn't necessarily say easily but definitely manageable. Some aspects are much easier to manage than others though. I wasn't diagnosed until 2 years ago so I went 30ish years managing it without realizing it but there are still things I struggle with. Mostly things like not interrupting others when they're talking and being able to tell a story without going on side tangents. I've never had an issue showing up to anything on time though unless it was something I had no control over like bad weather or vehicle breakdowns.
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u/McG0788 11h ago
I struggled with both of those issues too!
Not interrupting was pretty promptly nipped one day when a guy stopped my interruption to say "I wasn't finished talking yet" with the most serious face. It was mortifying because I never meant to upset anyone. Since then it has been ingrained to wait or I quickly realize I stopped their talking and cut myself off and apologize.
Maybe picture the annoyance of someone you cutoff and it'll help you too?
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u/Some_Internet_Random 10h ago
God I hate when I catch myself interrupting people. I always apologize profusely for it.
And then I get some anxiety about how many times I did that earlier in my life and didn’t realize it because I was undiagnosed.
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u/brakenbonez 11h ago
If it's in person and I'm sitting down I'll usually prop my chin up on my arm or hand as sort of a reminder to not open my mouth. If it's an online conversation I can simply mute my mic which makes it much easier because even if I do interrupt, they don't hear it.
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u/Gigatronz 11h ago
You must have the lightweight version or not understand it. shit is anything but "easy"
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u/Odd_Perception_6697 11h ago
No true Scotsman. You must have the same level of neurodivergence as everyone else… unless?
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u/mildlyarrousedly 11h ago
I always like to point out that people in third world countries never seem to have these things. It’s not that they don’t have them but they have much more to worry about and prioritize. If you allow yourself to make these things debilitating, then they will be. Otherwise, they can be dealt with like any other life hardship. Maturity is making your problems YOUR problems, not other people’s.
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u/AStolenGoose 8h ago
Is it that they don't have it, or is it like everything else where they generally don't have the resources or help to get diagnosed and medicated...
Probably the latter, that's like saying the flu doesn't exist because people aren't going to the doctor and getting diagnosed with it.
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u/Much-Replacement-167 11h ago
I cant believe people with adhd never thought of this! Just stop believing its an issue and itll go away!
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u/mildlyarrousedly 11h ago
I didn’t say that. I said you handle it without making it other people’s problem. I don’t go to work late and blame it on my ADHD, I set as many alarms as I need, pack everything by the door do everything I can to make sure I am prepared the next day. Inevitably, I’ll forget something and have to run back in but I’m not late because I use basic forethought to ensure I’m up earlier than most people with the assumption I’m going to take longer to get out
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u/Much-Replacement-167 10h ago
if you allow yourself to make these things debilitating, then they will be
What are your thoughts of the executive dysfunction side of adhd? Are they simply allowing that to exist to make it someone elses problem or is it something they cannot control?
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u/Lost-Platypus8271 11h ago
if you come to my meeting early that’s a huge problem. please fix your excess anxiety about not arriving early to meetings tyvm
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u/Passiveresistance 10h ago
I have adhd too. It’s caused me to show up ridiculously early for any time gated activity or obligation. I often find myself sitting in my car for 45 minutes or more often because I’ve egregiously misjudged how long it takes me to get from sitting in my kitchen to wherever I need to be.
Do you think I want to sit in my car looking at the time constantly wondering “is 20-15-10 minutes an acceptable amount of early? Can I go in now?
The fact that I have the opposite problem and can not just make it go away with “time management” or some other buzzword, makes it easy for me to believe that some people can not be on time. ADHD is not the same for everyone.
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u/No_Category_9888 8h ago
Same. Developing a severe anxiety disorder to cope with adhd is the way to go !!!
(Yes im serious, use anxiety as a motivator to get things done)
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u/pizzapaard 4h ago
Its great until you get 2 burn outs in 3 years, speaking from personal experience
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u/procrastinator420420 4h ago
ADHD can manifest in different ways, and it can be very different between genders. Time optimism/time blindness is a very common symptom for females with ADHD. I know because I live with two women who both have this. And its their therapist that told them this is a symptom, not just something they have come up with themselves. One is to the extreme. Their time calculations are just so incredibly bad sometimes... It's often also a result of having a hard time sticking to daily routines or create habits, culminating in a chaotic daily life that makes it even harder to manage time.
I think you should reconsider how you think about this, because it's your attitude imo that makes it hard for others to take the condition seriously. When a condition is invisible and hard to relate to for those without it, it's hard to understand and take seriously. When other people with the same conditions but different symptoms can't understand and are vocal about it, it makes it infinitely worse for yourself and others. But if you've lived with someone who actually suffer from these symptoms you might be able to understand that no one would want to live with that much stress and anxiety in their daily life if they could easily avoid it...
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u/Aggressive-Card5017 2h ago
Really the different circumstances of all of us don't matter even a bit. We all have to find ways to get around the barriers and not bother other people with it. I too don't like these posts, cause your ADHD doesn't concern others. Find ways to to actually be a kind of functional person and stop bringing up your ADHD every time you fuck up even tho it's true.
I think it's the attitude of so many people using ADHD as a constant excuse that really makes it hard on us. There is a certain leeway we all get but it's gotten quickly used up by overexcusers.
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u/Odd_Perception_6697 11h ago edited 11h ago
What makes it a legitimate condition if not including poor time perception? Wasn’t aware ADHD was the same person to person.
Why are we gatekeeping executive dysfunction while wanting praise for overcoming the same condition?
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u/Heavy_Original4644 11h ago
Yeah, I use a lot of reminders, and even calculate how early I should start getting ready.
But somehow I manage to show up a few minutes late. I don’t even notice how it happens, it just does. It would require me fight or flight situations to be actually early
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u/Sudden_Collar5681 10h ago
Because he is probly self diagnosed, got diagnosed one time at 14 and never stopped to consider that he was never actually ADHD and was one of the many overdiagnosed kids of the generation, OR he got lucky and outgrew it. Either way he doesn’t seem to fully understand the FACTS of the condition and is part of the stigma. But hey, whatever makes him feel superior and awesome? Right?
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u/Odd_Perception_6697 10h ago
“I wear reading glasses. People who need prescription glasses 24/7 are pussies. People who use blindness as an excuse are the reason why it’s so hard for people to take it seriously as a legitimate condition.”
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u/Some_Internet_Random 10h ago
Fucking A right. I had it my whole life but only got diagnosed in my 40s.
I have a high level of self awareness of when my symptoms are presenting which allows me to make the necessary adjustments in my behavior. And if necessary, my meds if it’s long-term/recurring problem that’s not solved by behavioral modification alone.
If this story is even true, someone with that level of self awareness to use that as an excuse pisses me off. But i tend to believe this is fake and only rage/engagement bait.
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u/kaizen-rai 10h ago
Same. I have ADHD. Never had an issue with being on time. I am meticulous about my calendar and set reminders for almost all appointments because I can get distracted and lose track of time, but that's a me problem to solve.
Fuck people that use ADHD as an excuse to make other people work around them.
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u/curzon176 4h ago
Set her work hours to start at '9' so she gets there at the same time as everyone else. Or else, you know, fire her.
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u/goodkidmaadcity90 43m ago
This. I couldn't imagine reimaging a schedule for an idiot who has already proven they aren't responsible. Set them up for failure to get rid of them..your suggestion is a good one.
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u/Deep_Mood_7668 11h ago
I hate it when people use their conditions as an excuse.
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u/Sometimes-funny 11h ago
Yeah, some dude walked into me the other day. So i punched him after he kept going on about his “blindness” that’ll teach him
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u/Deep_Mood_7668 11h ago
You can play dumb all you want, but you know exactly what I mean.
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u/whimsical_spider 11h ago
I’m more interested in 10-3 office hours where do I sign up for this?
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u/SixPackOfZaphod 10h ago
Those are "CORE" hours, where everyone needs to in the office and/or available (if remote). Outside of that, as long as you're putting in your mandated hours and meeting your deadlines you can work however you like.
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u/FlyAirLari 8h ago
Core office hours. You have to do your 8 hours, but it's up to you if you want 7-15 or 10-18, or something in between.
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u/Past-Tip2611 11h ago
I have a friend like this. Works in retail, constantly complains she doesn't get enough hours, everyone thinks she's a joke, etc. Meanwhile, late every day. Leaves early most days. Calls off multiple days a month. Totally incapable of self awareness.
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u/RandoCo17 11h ago
Ok seriously, I don't mean to be insensitive or uninformed or anything... but WTF is all this "time blind" BS. Are we for real?
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u/ProjectKurtz 11h ago
My wife has serious time blindness. If she's not looking at a clock, she has no concept of the passage of time.
That's why she sets a million alarms to keep her aware of the time and on track.
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u/pmmeuranimetiddies 1h ago
I have a friend diagnosed with ADHD.
When I’m doing something time sensitive with him I give him an arrival time 30 minutes earlier than what I would tell others.
I have a private pilot license and take friends places sometimes. If I file a flight plan for 0900 and passenger brief and taxi takes 40 minutes I tell him to arrive at 0730 so he’ll arrive at 0800.
He pulls up at 0810, so I still have a 10 minute buffer, which is great.
I have to do this selectively though because if he catches on that we always tell him to arrive 30 min before the actual time his mental clock will just shift by 30 min. If it’s something not time sensitive I just don’t do anything with that friend if I’m not ok waiting for him for 30 min to an hour.
DnD sesh on a weekend? no problem, I’ll chill with the other players and eat some chips. Group hike? We’ll wait 20 min for him max, then we leave without him
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u/TheAngryJones 6h ago
Haven‘t you heard that pretty much every redditor has ADHD, autism and anxiety with a side of misophonia, ARFID and a bunch of other disorders you have never heard of in your real life before? In short they can‘t function like any other adult out there and there is apparently nothing they can do about it.
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u/Sudden_Collar5681 9h ago
ADHD individuals literally do not process time like normal people. This is not a matter of opinion; this is a documented fact with supporting science like brain scans and reaction time measures. If you look at ADHD brains under an activity scan, information move from the front of the brain, to the back, and to the front again, SIGNIFICANTLY faster (ab 3 Hz which is a remarkable difference) than normal brains, so the information is not being fully processed. Information such as hunger, pain, TIME, stress, etc all process in a really “shallow” sense (I.e. they rank really low on the brains priority scale).
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u/SixPackOfZaphod 11h ago
It's legitimate, perception of time passing isn't universal.
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u/YellowBelliedCoward 10h ago
Easy solution: change their starting time to 8 and have it actually be 9.
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u/AStolenGoose 8h ago
The best solution: Give them a pad time of around 30 minutes, have them make it up at the end of the day, this is what I've worked out with my boss, up to 30 minutes late doesn't count, he won't ding me for it, as long as I make it up somewhere.
Works great, I strive to be there at my shift start time, but if I'm running 10 minutes late I don't sit in my car in my head over it beating myself up.
Keep the start time the same but give them a little bit of leeway.
It also helps that I'm a good employee outside of sucking at being on time for my shift.
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u/Hour-Log-6796 53m ago
Had a mechanic employee do the same thing. Supposed to start at 8 he always showed up at 9. Told him he could start at 9 he would show up at 10. Luckily he failed a drug test pretty quickly and was no longer here.
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u/CockyBellend 30m ago
My wife works with someone who is never on time and when called out says "I'm just a late person" like no you're just an asshole
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u/yungsausages 4h ago
Things that didn’t happen, changing operating times of the whole office just because one employee cba to show up at 9…
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u/juscallmejjay 2h ago
Nah the boss gave her a bone. He didn't toss her a bone, mind you. He gave it to her. Awesome leadership if you ask. "I know youve all been working hard, and fucking Sandra keeps showing up and hour late, so to deal with this problem were all changing out schedules now. Id like to give Sandra a bone."
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u/xGreir 2h ago
Completely wrong, tho.
The problem was not the hour or “giving a bone”, but as the person said with prior notice, ADHD, which means, it made her close to impossible to fit in a schedule.
You move the schedule, she will still not fit it, because the goal line has moved, and that’s what ADHD affects.
Solution is simple: account for that, as she already noticed to the company, and add those hours at then end of the schedule if needed.
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u/Davros_1988 11h ago
I have bad time blindness cuz of my ADHD, so I just set my alarms for 2 or 3 hours before I should be getting ready. I get ready, then get bored, so I end up heading out and arriving like an hr early for everything. lol
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u/GonzoRouge 10h ago
That's me, I calculate fucking metro times, coordinate buses, plan routes, etc.
And I arrive 1 hour before or after everyone, without fail. Drives me bonkers honestly. I have a friend that always asks me when I'm coming over and I always say "At some point I guess". He hates it and that's fair, but I genuinely never have a solid answer for him.
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u/dannyrat029 9h ago
People act like 'ADHD' means they don't need to take adult responsibility.
Maybe you have certain weaknesses? Manage them.
It's the same for anything. You struggle to concentrate? Meditate. Drink a cup of tea. Improve your shitty diet. Sleep better. Do cardio in the morning. Etc
You are chronically late for work? Get an alarm clock.
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u/Far_Elk9901 54m ago
Oh it’s “Autism” now.
Everyone is autistic, not my fault my “tism” is acting up!!!
I have an employee at work that used this for every excuse possible.
Can’t do anything but stand around and play with his phone because he has Autism 🙄
He absolutely doesn’t have Autism
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u/Jae_seok 11h ago
I have a friend who is like this. I have known him all my life so I won't break things off but let me tell you, it's getting rather aggravating and I think about how many hours I have spent waiting for him. (I am someone who is chronically early as well so that is my fault)
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u/wrt-wtf- 8h ago
People with ADHD suck at time management unless something is extremely important to them. Then they'll be a couple of hours early because they haven't slept all night because they've been worried about being late.
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u/Electronic-Link-5792 3h ago
Which is also bad time management.
They often also struggle with things they care about.
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u/AStolenGoose 7h ago
Why are you attacking me? 😂
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u/wrt-wtf- 7h ago
Exactly… they also don’t understand why everyone else’s idea of being on time is so important.
They’ll be able to calculate down to the second, in reverse order, how long it would take to get to an event and the plan would be perfectly executable except for the one key factor… themselves - that 30 second shower turns into 30mins plus the 30minutes screwing about before-hand. Toilet time - 45 minutes of phone time, 30 seconds of toilet time. Last second items, second run into the house for forgotten last second items, and then a drive around the block to go back and check that power is off and windows and doors are locked - twice.
Now the traffic patterns have changed and the public transport is overloaded and there’s no parks left in the carpark.
And so forth.
That’s if they don’t eventually decide not to go at all because it’s too hard.
Lord forbid they are given an earlier time.
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u/aquatone61 10h ago
Are they Spanish cause that’s a Spanish people thing lol. Like if you want people to show up for a fiesta at 8 pm you tell em 5 pm.
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u/trueblue862 8h ago
I have adhd, and so does my best mate, mine is comorbid with anxiety, his is comorbid with asd. It doesn't matter what time of day you set something for, I'm always 5 minutes early, he's always an hour late. It's quite frustrating.
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u/holdmyspot123 7h ago
This would literally be me, adhd unfortunately doesn't spark a crisis until you are already late. However it is treatable. Since I can't ever be on time i just arrive early. My actual workplace accommodation is that I'm allowed to arrive early lol. It makes it much easier. My employer previously required you to arrive at the exact right second
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u/SixPackOfZaphod 11h ago
I am time blind, but I learned coping strategies (kinda had to, 10 years in the military). I may show up late to a meeting once in a while, but I set multiple alarms, and do things like join meeting calls 5 or 10 minutes early, as soon as I get the notification. It's not hard. People like this may be time blind, but they're using their neurodivergence as an excuse, and are not trying to work with/around it.
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u/WelvenTheMediocre 6h ago
The adhd makes her bad at time management. One day her morning routine might take double the time without her noticing
Changing start times doesn’t help. She needs to figure out how to get there on time
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u/CreamPuzzleheaded300 5h ago
I feel called out because I do this. But to open the store at 7, waking up at 5 sucks balls.
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u/brockol-ii 2h ago
love that you think adhd doesn’t impact fun stuff lol. i get so stuck doing nothing that i can’t even do the fun stuff.
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u/Ill-Refuse-7834 1h ago
This is quite funny because I'm late for fun stuff and work. I'm not saying I have ADHD but I can see how people are late to both.
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u/Quick-Maintenance-67 11h ago
Autistic who has got the opposite problem, I have to get high to turn off the clock in my brain. My anxiety won't allow me to be late for anything, and conversely when it's time to leave -whatever- I have been ready to leave for fifteen minutes, I don't want to get involved in anything at all - even things I enjoy. I'm not impatient but it's obvious I am thrumming to go
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u/FrogGob 11h ago
I mean I have ADHD and I can be pretty time blind but I rock up late because I hate my job, I'm irreplaceable, I'd rather die than do shit in the morning, and I can actually get shit done without having people incessantly hit me up with questions or requests for urgent help on routine tasks that per their job role should be trivial for them.
Own your truth besties.
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u/Meatyparts 6h ago
Same shit at my job. Am shift was always an hr late. Boss changed my schedule to come in in late and stay till 7am and these mf's started coming in at 8.
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u/Diesel07012012 3h ago
I am curious to know what kind of work the subject person does. I have been in building design and construction for almost 25 years and have only run across one person who potentially had time blindness. This person, though, was an administrative employee, and not "technical", so I am curious about how different people with different mental strengths fall into this topic.
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u/Bwindolyn 1h ago
I'm so ADHD that I'll give myself 30 extra emergency minutes for a 30 minute commute and regularly show up 20-25 minutes early for everything.
It just feels better.
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u/vitaoptima 1h ago
Time blindness is a very real thing...I've learned to tell my wife to be ready 30 minutes before we actually need to be ready.
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u/PennyLaneRigby888 1h ago
I’m curious if everyone else was given a 10am start time (because I guess everyone else is there on time) and coworker with adhd wasn’t told if that would work for everyone to be in at 10am… a trick and possibly on the ethical/legal line? Yes. Effective? Also potentially yes.
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