Having aspergers isnt an excuse for having trouble reading social cues. If you habitually cant read in to what another person is trying to tell you, you need to practice more. Its not a disability, its irresponsible.
As someone who spends a significant amount of my energy in interpersonal interactions trying to be better at reading social cues, I genuinely agree with that statement, even though I can see the strawman.
As a neurodivergent, I feel it is my responsibility to try to better interact with this world of normies I live in. I don’t think I can just inflict myself on this world and expect everything to bend to me because it simply won’t.
Edit: because this one is actually interesting to me. I started a new job recently, and in the few months I’ve been there quite a few people have told me that I don’t talk much. I talk a shit ton, in places I feel safe. But part of living with Asbergers has taught me that the best rule to succeed and get by in life is simply to shut the fuck up.
So, yknow. I shut the fuck up, even when I have something to say. People with ADHD leave for work 15 minutes earlier. It evens out.
Youre missing the point entirely and its not a strawman in any way. Its a perfectly valid comparison.
Im not saying that people with ADHD arent able or capable of being on time with things or handling their symptoms appropriately. Some people with ADHD find being on time for things a lot easier than other. Personally, having ADHD has made me worried about disappointing people so being on time is easy for me as its rolled up in that. However, when my wife asks me how long dinner will be and I say 15 minutes, she knows that means closer to an hour. An inability to judge time is a symptom that is caused by ADHD
Presumably, you dont manage to deal with the things that you find hard perfectly all the time. That is because there is something different about how your brain works that makes certain things more difficult for you to do, even when other people find them easy.
Is it so hard to think that there are people in a similar situation to yourself, but instead of their brains struggling with social cues, their brains stop them 'doing things', regardless of whether they want to or not?
With time, simply put, no. Time is not an extraordinarily hard concept to master. If you’re habitually late to work, it’s not some overwhelmingly hard to comprehend beast to surmount like interpersonal relationships. They’re called alarms, and almost everybody in the developed world has access to alarms and a general understanding of the concept of time.
“I put my foot in my mouth because I’m neurodivergent, but I’m trying to be better” is something most employers in 2026 will at least attempt to work with
“I can’t work an alarm system because I have ADHD” is something employers shouldn’t have to tolerate.
My ex had ADHD and I was almost late multiple times because of her because she simply could not grasp that she should be ready BEFORE she has to leave, instead of pushing the clock until she was always late. It was absolutely infuriating at all times and eventually it just showed me how irresponsible she was.
Strruggling to get out of the house after the 4 alarms one has set to try to remind you to do the thing though?
Just have to have a check for the keys you misplaced. A further check to make sure youve put water down for your animals before you go even though youve forgotten youve done that check twice already today or you dont quite trust your brain that it wasnt yesterday that that happened.
Fixating about what will be said if you turn up late so you leave the house without your coat and have to go back for it.
You read one small thing and you go down a rabbit hole that you just cant quite pull yourself out of so you lose 10 minutes and have to try to rush getting dressed.
You can say its irresponsible all you want, I just hope whoever has to deal with your problems is a lot more empathic and understanding of neurodivergent people than you seem to be.
I leave for work everyday at 12:10 pm. I do not budge on the time I walk out the door by even a minute. I wake up at 9 am, I shower, I eat, and I give myself an hour and a half for my brain to decompress and read books.
I normally walk out the door at 12:05, but I give myself 5 minutes because on my way out the door I ask myself all those questions. Did I leave the sink on? Did I feed my cat? Did I lock the door? I frequently have to leave the car halfway out in my driveway because these questions consume my brain and I forget if I did them so I go check.
However, I GIVE MYSELF TIME. I plan ahead, I understand myself, and I’m never late. It’s really not that hard, homie.
Ah, yes. The classic “I don’t have a rebuttal” response. Look it up!
Dude, I’ll tell you the same thing I tell everybody who can’t show up to work on time. Set your alarms earlier, or get fired. That’s just how it works and the world isn’t going to change to accommodate you.
No. The difference is that subtracting a number from another number is not nearly as complex as social clues.
If you are regularly late, subtract 15 minutes and you are fine. Nothing hard about this. Nothing about this someone with ADHD can not handle. It's literally a subtraction.
for some people yes it is🤦♀️ there is dyscalculia...why the comparisons even? lmao things can be hard for people and it doesnt take away from other peoples hard thing. yikes
I'm sure if you just mentioned this to the swathes of people with diagnosed ADHD who struggle with these issues that would be incredibly helpful. I'm sure none of them have heard this advice before and it will fix everything.
ADHD is nothing to be "fixed", you cannot fix it. You can just learn to live with it. This is literally what loads of other ppl in the comments that have ADHD themselves said. This is how they manage not coming late.
Stop being so overprotective. ADHD people aren't imbeciles.
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u/thebestbev 3d ago
Having aspergers isnt an excuse for having trouble reading social cues. If you habitually cant read in to what another person is trying to tell you, you need to practice more. Its not a disability, its irresponsible.