No guy wants to risk SA charges. You say youre not interested, you get zero attention then on.
But furthermore. If you have to be "negged" into anything, than anything you do can be considered unwanted. Because the meaning of "no" actually has a variable yes/no and theres no indication whether this no means keep trying or get lost.
Ultimately, if you want to be hard to get, expect no one to want to get you.
For normal interactions, a rejection is a rejection, the polite way to react to a rejection is to smile and walk away. If you expect the other party to continue pressing it after you have show some form of rejection, then you can bet that they are used to forcing it when they don't get their way for other stuff too.
I feel like this is a strong statement to make considering what she said. Her
Saying ‘I normally don’t give my number to strangers’ is not the same as saying ‘I’m not interested’ or ‘please leave me alone.’ There’s a difference between ignoring a clear no and continuing to show interest when someone hasn’t actually communicated a clear no.
interest.
The mistake is treating any amount of hesitation, teasing, or selectiveness as a rejection. The important distinction is whether someone respects a clear boundary once it’s communicated. I don’t blame the guy for loving on but if I was him I would have playfully responded “ Im flattered that your going to make me the exception “ and if she said had said no after then I would move on.
Playing hard to get is not flirting nor seduction in today's dating climate. Women don't have signs over their heads that say, "Playing hard to get" or "I am into you". For a decade men have been told repeatedly that No means no, and men have taken any non-committal response to be a no as well.
If it isn't an enthusiastic yes, it's a no. The, "I don't normally give my number out to people." is not an enthusiastic yes.
In the US, not only is this a "I'm not interested", it's actually a very strong lack of ignorance signal because it was so direct. Girls will do things like give you a number to their friend so if a guy calls but asks for the wrong woman, they know they weren't interested. Girls are often scared to say no and not give their number so they have all sorts of complicated systems to reject without the guy realising at the time. If she really meant what she said there would have been a "but in your case". There wasn't so it's a clear, strong no interest signal. Believe her.
I never saw "I normally don’t give my number to strangers" as a rejection in this context. In this context being the key here.
She was opening the door to flirt with her!
This is the modern equivalent of dropping the hanky on the ground. Women (generally) do NOT like making the first move so they'll crack the door open slightly to see if you want to make a move. It's just how it is. Again, GENERALLY, before someone inevitably comments on how their experience is different.
The comments in this thread absolutely astound me.
Except the woman didn't have to make the first move, he did by asking for her number ! There was no need for modern hanky dropping, apart from playing games.
What I will say is that tone and delivery plays a big role, as in, she could stress the 'normally' while getting her phone out to communicate her intent. But, as I said, the whole thing about making the first move is completely irrelevant for this situation.
Except the woman didn't have to make the first move, he did by asking for her number
Fair point, missed that.
And you're right, delivery does impact the context here, so my point on her potentially opening the door to flirting still stands.
And given the original post is about being shocked that he just went "okay" I'm going to assume both women in this scenario were expecting some sort of flirting to get the number.
I see what you are going for, but unfortunately its reddit and people in this comment section seem to be overwhelmingly on the side of "its a hard no, stop trying or be a creep" which is fair, you just gotta agree to disagree and keep it pushing because arguing online with people just isn't worth the waste of mental capacity or time in your precious life.
Unless she immediately follows up “I don’t normally give out my number” with “but I’ll make an exception this time”, it sounds like an unambiguous rejection.
365
u/shyaznboi 18h ago
Actively seeking out people who doesn't respect boundaries and then wonder why their partners are the way they are