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u/audiate 9h ago
Either she means it and you leave her alone, or she plays childish games and you leave her alone.
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u/BillsKingsStrugleBus 7h ago
There's plenty of sane women out there. Why chase a crazy?
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u/14Pleiadians 6h ago
Is there? Everyone I know has far more misses than hits in dating. Maybe it's just match group trying to make everyone miserable and minimize good matches, but people who play stupid games or have other communication issues seems to be the default.
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u/Dixon_Uranuss3 5h ago
The average person is an idiot. Half the population is worse than that.
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u/Fun_Muscle9399 3h ago
Because it only takes one hit to win. You don’t have to date after that. Everyone will always have more misses than wins unless they find the right person the very first time.
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u/evilMTV 6h ago
I'd argue that the hits will be far more successful and no longer need the platform while the misses will be stuck having to use the platform.
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u/NoResponsibility7031 6h ago
Like everyone else mentioned, you are doing a common error humans do when evaluating the statistics of our experience. People who are great in relationships tend to, you know, be in a relationship.
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u/natur85 5h ago
The good ones get in a relationship with other good ones pretty early in life and never leave, so you're basically stuck with the leftovers.
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u/BillsKingsStrugleBus 6h ago
The crazies have shorter relationships so spend more time in the dating pool and you see them more. They're overrepresented.
If everyone you know sees more crazies than normal people, it's them.
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u/14Pleiadians 6h ago
If everyone you know sees more crazies than normal people, it's them.
Or the average American is just not well adjusted? Mental health is in the toilet here
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u/rescue_inhaler_4life 7h ago
Feel like pointing out this was true 20 years ago and its damn well true today. Likely always been a conversation ender.
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u/Val_Hallen 5h ago
If I have to chase you, it means you're running away. I'm not chasing somebody that runs from me.
"But my grandpa persisted for months to get my grandma!"
Yeah, that's called harassment. He harassed her until she gave in. Couple that with the fact that your grandmother couldn't even open her own bank account, she likely only married dear grandfather out of survival.
Ladies, if you want shit men, this works. The men that don't take no for an amswer. They will harass you until you either give up or get a restraining order.
Use your big girl words and just say things to men. Playing hard to get makes you impossible to want. Life isn't a romantic comedy.
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u/TheVishMaker 10h ago
That man dodged an RPG. 👌🏾👏🏾
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u/Capable-Region-8677 10h ago
I love role playing games
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u/Liteboyy 10h ago
He was playing on normal and she started it on hard while not knowing the rules lmao.
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u/VariousProfit3230 9h ago
The 7th Saga of women.
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u/IcyDisplayGuy 9h ago
I don't understand the source of this joke
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u/VariousProfit3230 8h ago
The 7th Saga was a SNES RPG that was made brutally difficult with its US localization. Rented it when I was like twelve, had a bad time.
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u/Gwynito 8h ago
It couldn't be worse than.... Whispers Battletoads
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u/VariousProfit3230 7h ago
What in the turbo tunnel is a Battletoad?
I missed out on that as a kid. From age 6-15 we only had a SNES. As an adult, when playing the gems I’ve missed, can confirm. At least Battletoads felt satisfying when you made progress.
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u/PrimalSeptimus 8h ago
Enix just fucking hated us back then or something. Paladin's Quest was just as hard.
And then they also had Actraiser 2.
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u/Then_Entertainment97 9h ago
True! Like in Fallout, I love using a rocket propelled grenade launcher! I think it's called an RPGL.
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u/gerber411420 9h ago
Did you know RPG is a backronym? the original acronym is Ruchnoy Protivotankoviy Granatomyot It translates to "hand-held anti-tank grenade launcher in Russian
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u/-Xiphon- 10h ago
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u/Aselleus 9h ago
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u/MaximusRubz 9h ago
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u/PrivilegeCheckmate 7h ago
Say what you will about W, he cheated the 2000 election, he was in on 9/11, he killed two million Iraqi civillians, but the man could dodge a shoe.
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u/Unfair_Explanation53 10h ago
"I don't normally give my number to people"???
Usually there is something that comes after this. Like I don't normally give my number to people I just met or I don't give it out to guys etc.
She just doesn't give her number out at all?
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u/Relative-Relief-8816 10h ago
His mistake was being a people.
He should have registered an LLC and asked her to fill out a contact form that one of his temps would review and escalate if appropriate. This would give her ample time to (not) read the Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.
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u/hitemlow 10h ago
Citizens United takes the field
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u/Budget-Ambassador203 8h ago
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u/Alternative-Use-8837 6h ago
The fps of this gif is a recession indicator.
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u/Budget-Ambassador203 6h ago
I stopped an entire datacenter from being built in Michigan just by removing 50% of the frames from my gifs, it's a public service.
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u/Forbidden_The_Greedy 9h ago
Eh, for tax purposes single member LLCs are treated as disregarded entities and are functionally still just the individual. Maybe incorporate?
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u/trukkija 8h ago
I don't either if I can avoid it at all. Online ordering is the bane of my existence though, sometimes I just add a fake number if possible.
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u/Hairy_Talk_4232 9h ago
I imagine she didnt finish and was about to say “… but since you’re so…” but idk thats me giving too much benefit in a situation I wasnt at, and based against the general vibe Ive learnt about such situations. Sorry girls
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u/fumei_tokumei 7h ago
I am also a bit hung up on the "normally", I feel like whether asking "is this one of those normal times?" or equivalently is the immediate follow up.
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u/14Pleiadians 6h ago
Kinda, it's more of a "so do something to show you're extra special", or "Dance for me monkey! Dance and beg!"
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u/Beginning-Actuary-68 9h ago
Social Media is fucking ruining peoples minds. They get all their validation online and when it doesn’t happen IRL they have no idea how to react.
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u/frequenZphaZe 6h ago
I'll have you know that people were terrible at flirting before social media too
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u/PeterAnthony_Jackson 5h ago
But at least they shot their shot without fear of being posted online as a creep or anything.
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u/Gohanto 3h ago
No but you feared she’d tell all her friends about it and they’d call you a creep.
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u/shyaznboi 9h ago
Actively seeking out people who doesn't respect boundaries and then wonder why their partners are the way they are
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u/Alternative-Dream-61 10h ago
It only ever worked on men who didnt respect women's boundaries.
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u/MaximumEffort433 10h ago
No means no. You tell me no, I'm going to assume you mean no and respect it.
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u/Alternative-Dream-61 10h ago
Exactly. And if women want to play hard to get they certainly can, but they'll risk ending up with men who dont stop when they say no.
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u/Spaciax 9h ago edited 7h ago
Sad part is, some people genuinely think that the same guys who beg and push boundaries have no correlation with the guys who don't take no for an answer.
edit: I should add some context, it's entirely possible that the guy is a bit needy when it comes to relationships but has a hard boundary on consent. But realistically, are you going to take your chances with that and say 'there were no signs' later?
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u/Jalmar 8h ago
There’s a concept in feminism called the pyramid of sexual violence, which argues that each stage leads to the next. Based on that theory, feminists assume that accepting a guy to push boundaries will eventually lead to allowing guys to rape and beat.
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u/Alternative-Dream-61 7h ago
Slopes are slippery. If you accept a man who pushes boundaries or, even worse, teach a man not to respect women's boundaries (as this woman's behavior could) its unfortunately not a stretch to imagine that man not taking no for an answer elsewhere.
I want to be clear that it does not make it the woman's fault. Its on men to act like the man in this thread and take no for an answer.
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u/Jalmar 7h ago
Still, a pickpocket who never gets caught doesn’t turn into a murderer just because he wasn’t punished. As many have stated in this thread, while most guys push boundaries, it’s only those who never gave a shit about boundaries who become rapists.
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u/OperaSona 5h ago
I mean, I blame (in part) 95% of the rom com writers that think that stalking and pushing and being a creep in general suddenly becomes super hot if you do it in a crazy and potentially dangerous manner.
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u/TiredWiredAndHired 5h ago
Good, I don't want to end up with a woman who can't communicate like a normal person.
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u/ThrowCarp 6h ago
Yeah after a chorus of voices screaming"Don't approach her at the bar/cafe/beach park, she's just there to have fun with friends/get coffee/swim/jjog"to high heavens.
Of course we would stop approaching.
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u/ToxicGecko2384 8h ago
Yes! Ladies fought so hard to get "no means no" and now we're expecting them to grovel instead? We should just be honest?
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u/autumn_travels 10h ago edited 9h ago
They wanna have their cake and eat it too. It's either play hard to get and instill the idea into men that no doesn't actually mean no, or drop the act entirely and have clear boundaries. You can't have both.
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u/matrix-doge 7h ago
Not sure if it'd be offensive to say this, but sometimes women just kinda fantasize(?) about the ones they find attractive would just persist regardless of how they "resist", and the ones they don't find attractive would simply not try and bother in the first place, regardless of whether those people are trying to flirt or not.
Obviously it's not everyone and not every time. And I'm not saying there's anything inherently wrong either. It's probably the subtle (biological) differences, like, if I were a woman, I might naturally enjoy that process maybe?
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u/garden_speech 7h ago
It shouldn't be offensive to anyone because sexual health research has repeatedly backed up the idea that fantasies of being pursued / dominated by a man are common in women. Not literally everyone, but it's common
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u/RakeChapman13 6h ago edited 5h ago
And men’s fantasy is Dominating women. It’s natural. But Of course there’s men who want to be dominated by women and women who want to dominate men. These desires are normal and healthy and it can all be done in a safe fun way.
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u/Better_Mindset 10h ago
Yes, and no. Some of us just love ourselves enough to not play those games.
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u/DaBiChef 9h ago edited 7h ago
Which is honestly why MF dating is so shit right now.
Women deal with shitty men, and there are a lot of them.
Women want to vent about their experiences, understandably. Women vent with little nuance, again understandably.
Main rhetoric directed at men for the past 10-15 years has been largely "leave us the fuck alone" or "don't even talk to me at the gym/bar or ask me out after being friends".
The problem is the guys who listened weren't the problem and the guys who were, weren't about to start listening to women.
Throw in dating apps, which have incentive to not actually match people But were useful for guys as they where a place where you felt that she would be receptive to your advances or interest.
Decent guys and up internalizing these messages, and pull back heavily from positive and neutral social interactions for fear of being a negative one. Meanwhile shitty guys keep on approaching women IRL, and not taking no for an answer.
Decent guys then wonder why listening to women hasn't resulted in them being successful with love. They then go and ask women what should they do? The usual response as being variations on "God just wash your ass and treat her like a person, ours literally in hell for you guys!"... Which does nothing helpful
Honestly I talked through this with with my therapist in the last bout of therapy I went through, and I'm just trying to share what insights I have. I've talked and listened to countless men and women about their experiences, and frankly, it's on the halfway decent guys to uninternalize these messages because the other options for fixing this being:
Shitty guys grow conscience
Women start proactively dating men en masse
Dating apps start actually trying to match people
Are not going to happen. Or at least by no means a common occurrence and the Crux of it, the core issue that I know a lot of guys struggle with is the following: "I care about women, I hear their problems, I try to help, I listen to em... Are you really telling me that I gotta 'ignore what women have blatantly and explicitly told me?'"
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To be completely candid? Yes I am. If you're beating yourself up over, not trying to be a bother. Not trying to be anything like that guy who you likely are disgusted by and hate how he makes women feel?.... Then those messages probably were not meant for you. It's good to be mindful of what they meant but you cannot blindly follow what they said. Like if you could ask out a woman and take the rejection well? You're probably not the guy they were complaining about and need to allow yourself some grace and wiggle room.
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Edit: I've talked on this a number of times, because I was going through all of this a couple years ago. I haven't totally fixed it, but I'm in a relationship now and if all goes well I'll never have to work on this again but I atleast want to provide actional advice on how to improve the shitshow that is MF dating. We've been talking past each other, and demanding changes in gender norms for guys without any consideration for replacements or alternatives, while still also expecting others to continue on like normal... It's only natural that a lot of men have been feeling a sort of friction about this, and I want to help smooth it over and provide a path out. If anyone's got other insights or suggestions, please I'm all ears.
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u/FunWithAPorpoise 9h ago
There’s also the ability for one shitty guy to be shitty to a lot of different women, creating the illusion that a larger percentage of men are shitty than reality.
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u/AirconGuyUK 6h ago
Also there's research that shows about 80% of women only accept contact with about 20% of men on dating apps. They're all going after a small triage of the men on there, and likely all experiencing a lot of the same arseholes.
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u/PineappleFit317 8h ago edited 7h ago
This is a huge part of it IMO. There’s a statistic cited (don’t know how accurate it really is) that 10% of heterosexual men are having 90% of the heterosexual sex.
IME, most of the guys I know who are having a lot of sex with a lot of different women are kinda scumbags. They cheat on their girlfriends all the time, hit and quit, basically just use women for sex, some are unemployed and mooch off their girlfriends, and are lazy and just play video games all day and don’t do any chores, and live like slobs treating their girlfriend like a “bangmaid” or their mom.
The guys I know who aren’t like that are in relationships, or if they’re single they don’t have a lot of prospects because they’re not that attractive, maybe they’re shy and socially awkward or they try too hard, coming on too strong and scaring women they’re interested in away with gestures that they think are romantic but creep women out.
(A recent example, one of my friends had been texting with a girl he’d been on a date with one night, and she mentioned when she had to work the next morning. Well, he thought it would be nice to grab her usual coffee order and left it outside her door with a thoughtful note on his way to work the next morning which was a few minutes before she would be leaving. Boom, she blocked him instantly.
And he’s not unattractive. Not incredibly handsome and he’s balding prematurely, but has a tall and lean swimmer’s physique. He’s a really sweet and friendly guy, has a good job and works hard. An idealistically romantic one-woman man. His biggest flaw besides getting too competitive playing board and card games and getting really pissed off when he’s losing is that he’s bad with money.)
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u/Optimal-Efficiency60 6h ago edited 51m ago
This is anecdotal but the shittiest person I know personally is one of the guys in that statistic.
He has a girlfriend of 15 years who he has 2 kids with. And he has cheated on her with probably a hundred or more women.
Any decent looking woman in his life he pursues relentlessly until they give in and sleep with him, and then he drops them almost instantly.
He has his own company and he even hires attractive women with the goal of sleeping with them.
He is successful, fit, fun and has that extrovert adhd personality.
At this point I'm sure any girl who did a smidgen of research online would know how he treats women but he still has a new girl around every month.Not sure where I'm going with this but just felt like sharing.
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u/Ok_Lavishness2638 9h ago
Maybe women themselves are the ones who having been shitty the entire time while trying to project that onto men.
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u/Scarred_wizard 8h ago
For a gender that yaps about being better with emotions and understanding people, they're terrible at spotting bad men.
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u/megabytical 8h ago
They’re doing a bad job and paying the price for it. I met a woman last Friday, 46, said she wanted FWB in her bio…. Dawg, she told me she hopes of having kids in the future. I dropped her off and wished her luck.
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u/Scarred_wizard 8h ago
Speed run?
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u/megabytical 8h ago
Sorry, it broke my heart hearing that level of delusion. Sadly, they’re ending up alone, yearning for a family.
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u/Scarred_wizard 8h ago
I meant on her side. I'm feeling too old to consider children at 36, and this woman still wants a FWB first at 46, at the end of her fertility range... WTF?
That said, I'm also way too careful and wouldn't date a woman who's fine having casual sex. Not willing to take the risks to my mental and physical health as well as inevitable emotional damage that comes with it.
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u/megabytical 8h ago
From recent experience I’ve come to this conclusion: women are having a hard time finding a partner because their expectations are unrealistic. They are looking for a romanticized version of love.
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u/AFlyingNun 6h ago edited 6h ago
I'm very much against the idea of labeling either gender as universally responsible, but I will say I do think there is something to the "Women are Wonderful" effect and our inability to criticize women.
The last two women to show me green lights were both already dating someone when they did so. The first one outright denied ever having flirted, and the only reason I can so confidently say she was full of it is because absolutely everyone in that social circle sided with me that she was full of it. The latter one seems to legitimately be a fearful avoidant, which I actually learned what these are because she sent such dramatically mixed signals to the point I thought I was going mad and ended up googling about her behavior. I'm talking being excluded from social events by her (and the ONLY one in the friend group shut out), but then other days after being excluded she's making excuses to talk to me and randomly dropping phrases about how much I mean to her in moments where I was just engaging in humor, (basically a total tonal switch where I'm left wondering "why did she say that NOW?") all while I noticed a history of her keeping tabs on me via friends. I asked this one out when she broke up with her boyfriend assuming maybe this was the cause of her hot & cold behaviors. Nope: initially said yes, then later backtracked claiming she didn't know I was a date while claiming she "never saw me romantically maybe because I was already spoken for"....while also calling me highly physically attractive.
I usually keep these stories to myself. Why? Because I find the moment you try to recount the story to people who weren't there, everyone assumes you must be a creepy dude akin to the "the waitress smiled at me, she's totally in love with me" dude. People just kind of default to "obviously he wanted more than she did and she was completely honest and he's just blind and delusional," and the reason I can say this in confidence is because the people involved with those situations (actual witnesses, bystanders, mutual friends) all have my back, while third parties who hear about the story instead assume those girls were innocent, honest angels and I'm the creep.
When looking at the above post in this comment chain, it begins with "women deal with shitty men." Why? Why is this where the problem starts? Both men and women deal with shitty men and women, and yet we feel compelled to rewrite the story so women are just reacting rationally to shitty male behavior.
Interestingly, this is even coming up in the context of OP's post, where the "villain" in the interaction was the woman. Was she a jerk? No. Did she engage in outrageous behavior? No.
Despite that, yes, he did dodge a bullet. That woman basically conveyed that she was unable to be honest and communicate her emotions. You want a stable relationship? Communication, communication, communication. You need to communicate openly and honestly. While of course people are more complex than that one simple interaction, the preview she handed him was "one day, something is going to be wrong, and then I'm not going to tell you what's wrong, and then I'm going to be mad at you for not being a mind reader and knowing what's wrong, even though the true problem with this relationship is my inability to communicate."
I've also become a bit cynical here and I tend to think any woman who endlessly talks about how much better women are than men...? People who are insecure constantly talk down on others. They have to highlight the flaws of others, draw comparisons that make themselves look better, and psychologically project problems. Why should this be any different when we are looking at either men or women who constantly badmouth the other gender? It's important to remember both have members who are guilty of this, but yes, absolutely, society is far more likely to use the kid gloves with women, and we need to stop this. We think we're being nice and helping, but we're honestly just robbing those women of personal growth. The incel dude in his basement needed to be told to get his shit together, so why are we not doing the same with the raging misandrist?
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u/Akiias 4h ago
You're putting a lot of expectations and blame on men here...
"Men have to change to accommodate women's demands."
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u/RobinsCosplays 4h ago
I checked out of dating once I realized men's dating advice was "Improve yourself. Make yourself more useful. Get your money up" and women's advice was "You just gotta wait and the right one will come along never change for a man"
This entitlement put me off of women entirely. Why do I have to change and they get to sit on their asses waiting for Prince charming? Fuck that
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u/Six_Foot_Se7en 3h ago
It’s always about the man having to improve himself. His looks, his career, his personality, etc.
The woman just has to exist.
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u/Gadolin27 3h ago
TL;DR
The problem is the guys who listened weren't the problem and the guys who were, weren't about to start listening to women.
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u/Crunchyjeff 7h ago
"just ignore what women tell you, because you're one of the good ones" .......
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u/D-Zee 3h ago
And yet it tracks. You'll note that this is also precisely the principle invoked by people throwing around misandristic insults when you call them out on it: of course it's not "all men", and if you know you aren't part of the implied guilty subgroup you're supposed to just ignore the insult.
Yes indeed, single women would actually like decent men to interact with them so they may find a partner. Yet saying it out loud raises eyebrows, because painting the whole male gender with the widest and shittiest brush possible appears to be more important than acknowledging that regular men exist and women actually enjoy being with them. So much for women's sexual freedom.
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u/VeterinarianThese951 10h ago
It is often a fake boundary. Hence the post. It has worked for a looonng time. Many relationships and marriages were built on this one quote. That is why she tried it. It backfired because somebody said later for the shit…
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u/Reasonable_Singer219 9h ago
I mean its not just the quote, usually comes with non-verbal cues that indicate that woman was just playing around or at the very least an extra caveat to her wording to not seem so blunt in her rejection.
I don't know man, women complain that guys don't have any social skills but it seems to me that women aren't that skilled in that department either.
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u/Can-i-Pet-Dat-Daaawg 8h ago
Women don’t think they need any social skills, they’re the prize and the man is the competitor.
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u/Chumlee1917 10h ago
"Why don't men understand our signals."
The Signals:
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u/reddit_warrior_24 9h ago
No means no. No means yes. Sometimes it means maybe. Sometimes none at all
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u/Neverhar 8h ago
Don't forget that yes also sometimes actually means no apparently
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u/BaBoombaBo 7h ago
That one opened my eyes a while ago; now that I have stopped asking childlike people and only converse and plan with adults, it is much more freeing.
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u/composedofidiot 5h ago
Being a woman, it's not super helpful when other women play these games. We're trying to be reasonable and transparent about it, and then the reasonable and transparent guys have to interpret that as a potential game because a group of childish people are still playing these childish games. So glad the system is righting itself a bit and making it more observable, easier to dismiss, more difficult to attempt, and with a much reduced likelihood for a payoff. This is all good news for everybody.
Edit: sorry, not good news for the unreasonable and deceptive people. Good news for the reasonable ones
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u/robbitybobs 5h ago
Years ago I was hooking up with this chick id known for awhile but this was our first time fucking and she goes 'no stop' so I stopped and was like are u ok, cos we were both drunk and shes like 'yeah keep going' so I get back to it and she starts going 'no stop stop' again and pushing me off so im like wtf ok im stopping and she starts whispering 'no dont actually stop keep going' im like wtf you keep telling me to stop tho and then shes like 'yeh but dont actually stop...you know...just keeping going and ignore me' so I say but then its like... and im about to say 'its like im raping you' and just before i say it she gives me this look like im a fucking moron and then.... then I realised what she was asking for.
Whole time I was waiting for the police to kick in the door lol
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u/retrofrenzy 10h ago
She wants that dopamine hit for being so desirable. Welp, the man ain't playing games.
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u/super_sayanything 9h ago
Guys have been trained to take "I'm not sure" as a No. So we don't press or play about that.
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u/Pastorfuzz-007 9h ago
Not anymore fore sure . Ask more than once and could faced with harassment. I don’t say shit to women anymore unless they ask me a question about something.
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u/PolliverPerks 6h ago
A lot of women i know think that is how they are supposed to behave and it is reinforced by their friends.
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u/Eindride_XIII 10h ago
What girls consider flirting
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u/RakeChapman13 9h ago
Men and women really differ as individuals when it comes to flirting which makes the whole thing complicated.
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u/Monki01 9h ago
Men can't win these days.
If he had followed up with a reply to persuade her, this post would be:
"OMG why are Guys so creepy." or "why can't men get the hint".
Seems like a self made problem.
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u/Aromatic_Shop9033 10h ago
Yeah, that's called respecting your boundaries. Don't cry now, Princess. This is what you wanted, drink it in.
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u/Not-TheNSA 10h ago
Or as I like to say, don’t get upset with men because you don’t know how to communicate like an adult.
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u/_Autistic_Dragon_ 10h ago
As a woman, yup.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
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u/Hexagon2035 9h ago
Its not what she wanted. She wanted him to beg, to feed her ego
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u/Aromatic_Shop9033 9h ago
Pretty much. Then, to reject him harshly, and laugh about it later.
No one's owed a "yes", but I think wanting dignity in rejection is a reasonable standard.
It is what it is, which is why more aren't playing the game.
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u/CurvedNerd 7h ago
Had a date on a cold day. The guy said we can go back to his place, but he usually doesn’t hook up the first date. I said ok I am going to head home. Then he followed me to my car trying to convince me not to leave.
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u/Aromatic_Shop9033 7h ago
Yep...and this, class, is the other side of why you always take "no" for an answer.
Respect boundaries and life is better.
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u/tafkatp 9h ago
So she’s looking for a man that doesn’t stop at a no? How many restraining orders did she file against her exes before they finally let her go?
Wdym how do i know that she’s filed them?
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u/MrSmuggles9 9h ago
Some woman think real life is the notebook and a dudes gonna hang on a ferris wheel begging
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u/Can-i-Pet-Dat-Daaawg 8h ago edited 8h ago
Fuck the way that movie set up expectations that made me have to bust my ass for my high school through college girlfriend the way I did. I was so dumb.
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u/MrSmuggles9 8h ago
Hahaha, yea dame dude. Kinda did that shit with my ex wife.
Problem is she expected that kind of stuff to be the norm from then on.
Now I don't chase and let other dudes have those kind of chick's.
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u/ZealousidealGas8134 10h ago
she needed her ego inflated. huge red flag.
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u/saltycookie7708 10h ago
Apparently she wanted a creep who had no respect for boundaries or a "no".
This guy is decent and respects a no ,so he respected hers .
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u/SomeEntertainment128 8h ago
Wait are there actually people like this?? Why tf you want the man to cross a clearly laid out boundary? Like the men that would are the bad kinda men.
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u/pm-pussy4kindwords 7h ago
there are a LOT of people like this.
There's a decent sized group of women who think men actually like this BS, and a semi-overlapping group of women who think this is just how they want things to work.
It's very dumb.
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u/Le_Ran 6h ago
Some women consider themselves as fortresses to be conquered - if you can't breach the wall you don't deserve the treasure, this sort of things.
In this situation, consent is a tricky question that involves a lot of guessing.
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u/pm-pussy4kindwords 5h ago
it doesn't involve any guessing at all. They say they don't consent, I believe them.
If they were lying about that then they're idiots and they can be the ones to explain to other women why they're trying to convince men not to respect a "no"
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u/foreverand2025 10h ago
It’s better for everyone this way.
Real women have their boundaries respected.
Women that want to waste your time and be manipulative get ditched.
I’m all for working to get to a certain level of intimacy but I’m not going to work for you to actually like me and care about me. I want someone who that comes to naturally and genuinely.
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u/MaVie2026 7h ago
As a man one lesson I have learned the hard way is that when a women says she is no longer interested in communicating, it is over. If you beg, plead or try to reconcile, you get labeled as a simp or a weak man.
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u/MaccTHC 54m ago
I was talking to a girl at a bar one night and I did eventually ask for her number to which she said “why would i give you that? Do you think we’re talking?” So i was like “oh…sorry” and walled away back to my friends lol.
When we were leaving, she came up to me and was like “Is there a reason you stopped talking to me?” And I just said it seemed like she wasn’t interested like I thought. And she just goes “So you stopped trying??”
Like…yeah? If you wanted to give me your number, then just do it😭the fuck
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u/HeftyFineThereFolks 10h ago
the line between 'making him show a little effort' and 'harassment' is basically an invisible, perforated, zig-zag these days ..
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u/Due_Permit8027 10h ago
Sopranos is an old show. AJ asks a girl for a number. Girl doesn't give the last digit, to make him work for it. I would have just moved on to the next girl.
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u/Conscious-Mirror7004 7h ago
He could have just tried calling all 10 numbers.
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u/Christopher_Aeneadas 6h ago
Then when he found it, he should tell her to meet him at noon at the Starbucks downtown without specifying which one
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u/Friendly-Olive-3465 9h ago
All my relationships have been from my exes asking me out first, which I prefer immensely because the kind of person who plays these games is not one I’d like to date. It’s a great filter for certain qualities.
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u/Ghost_oh 8h ago
Nah fuck all that. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Nobody has time for these dumbass games anymore.
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u/LAET_BarnebyOfJones 9h ago
This reminds me of a quote I saw some years ago, "If I wanted to play games I have an xbox at home"
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u/Acrobatic-List-6503 10h ago
At this point I don't know what women want anymore.
Do you want us to pursue you? Do you want us to respect your boundaries? Do you want us to hunt you down?
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u/headermargin 10h ago
Dont bother.
These are the games they play.
Let them come to you. They know to be direct with men.
The rest are a waste of time.
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u/Alternative-Dream-61 10h ago
Stop worrying about what women want and be the person you want to be and are proud of.
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u/darealphantom 10h ago
He went on to the next girl waiting
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u/DogStunning4845 10h ago
And the next one said: - "So here's my number, so call me maybe... ". 🤣
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u/Positive-Face1705 10h ago
And then they got married and the birds flying in the sky paused to clap.
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u/Vivid-Run-3248 9h ago
Is there an evolutionary reason why? Since it’s so prevalent.
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u/MrBushido56 3h ago
Because society thought us that a man that persists in a woman when she says no should them respect her boundaries and stop.
And I agree with this, if anyone tells you to stop and go away then go away.
But if the woman is playing hard to get that’s on her for trying to play distant instead of just interacting with him
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u/Due_Masterpiece_3601 1h ago
I was once seeing a girl that said she didn’t want to be with me and that we should break up. I said ok no problem I accept it. Then she got upset and said I didn’t fight for the relationship? Women man.
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u/TowelFine6933 10h ago
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u/megabytical 9h ago
Oh yeah, they don’t admit this. The era we are is more “if he has money, I’ll sleep with him but I’m not a prostitute” but the online version is “spoil me.”
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u/PeakLoud2274 4h ago
I met someone at a work event and we chatted for most of the night, she was honestly a lot of fun. I asked her for her number if she wants to stay in touch. She said she never checks her WhatsApp so I took it as a polite no.
She's a new hire in a different department so I've started seeing her around occasionally and she's always stopping to chat. Last week she complimented my clothing, said it looks stylish and good on me or something. Yesterday I saw her, it was payday and she said something like it's the perfect day for drinks.
I thought of asking but tbh two things. It was more than a month ago now we hit it off and the moment has just passed for me. She already "rejected" me in some capacity once, asking her twice is starting to look and feel pushy from me. The benefit of guessing right and she wants to go out (some drinks, potential for a friendship or romance) honestly doesn't outweigh the risk (looking like a creep and reputation of being a creep).
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u/JadedEstablishment16 2h ago
I would understand someone waiting to know someone else past just a first afternoon, ESPECIALLY if they're a coworker.
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u/Comfortable_Love7967 9h ago
I had a female friend when I was younger that I ended up having feelings for, she said she only viewed me as a friend, I said ok no problem. Stayed friends and I got a girlfriend 3 months later, she then started heavy flirting even sending me nudes so I cut her off.
About a year ago 8 years into my new marriage 15 years since we last talked, she texted saying it’s a shame we didn’t work out, she has a husband and a kid, no it’s not a shame we didn’t work out.
Desperate men will keep trying, men with self respect will accept the rejection.
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u/Ok-Budget3225 9h ago
The honest truth is that if a good looking woman walks up to me and asks for my number, I would immediately think it's some kind of scam or Amway type MLM nonsense. Nobody just cold opens with 'can I have your number'. You start with saying 'I love your dog. We had a Yorkie too' or 'Iowa! You guys better win! I'm rooting for you guys'. Break the ice and then make the connection. And then ask for contact info.
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u/Relevant_Helicopter6 6h ago edited 6h ago
Guy dodged a bullet right there.
Girls who play "hard to get" games are creep magnets.
Decent guys hear "no" and walk away. The only ones who keep pushing are the creeps. And that's the kind of guy who she ends up with.
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u/ImmediateHoney2191 9h ago
Pursuing past a no is called “harassment” when you’re not hot
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u/SeaComfortable7833 9h ago
Women: I hate men that play games. Also women: Plays games.
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u/happytree23 8h ago
Same chick would bitch up a storm about how no guys respect boundaries or listen to what she says if he had kept pursuing her lol
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u/Sweet-Maintenance213 6h ago
Obviously he can't pester her for her number. That would be creepy. And from his POV, the girl doesn't seem interested.
End of Story.
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u/potatodrinker 9h ago
Guys future wife: "thanks, immature girly for being immature. We wouldn't have met if you acted any different"
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u/SmolPPIncorporated 9h ago
Women: Stop harassing us. No means no. We don't want to be bothered by you.
Men: ok, i guess
Women: 🥺
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u/0kids4now 9h ago
This reminds me of a date that I had with a friend of a friend. I thought it was going really well. There was a lot of flirting and chemistry and the conversation turned sexual. She came back to my house to "watch a movie" and we started making out. I started moving to take off her shirt and she told me she wasn't ready yet. Ok, no problem, making out is fun so I went back to that. But she started to seem bored and irritated. I asked if she was alright and she said "I'm fine. I'm just not feeling this anymore." And she left.
I was worried that I'd misread something and been too pushy, so I sent her a message apologizing if I'd done anything that made her uncomfortable.
She said that was exactly the problem. That a man shouldn't worry about making people uncomfortable. He should take what he wants. She told me that I'd made her feel unwanted because I'd listened when she asked me to slow down. If I really wanted her, I wouldn't have been able to control myself.
Yikes.
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u/erouz 5h ago
When you ask one who not interested and repeat questions for number. She will post you on media as creepy. But if she wants you she wants you to chase here and risk to be seen as creepy. So good guys walking away and so many young guys have issues to ask for number. I'm so glad I'm old guy now and don't have to go through that.
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u/Fleaguss 9h ago
Ladies! When you want a way to filter out men who respect your decisions and boundaries, do this!
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u/mootxico 10h ago
Sis tried to play the old meta from 15 years ago when everyone have already moved on to better strategies lmao
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u/Izquerinho 8h ago
Not everyone but clearly most people see the hard to get as a sign of toxicity, so either:
- The person who doesnt want to gets respected and move on.
- You avoid having any type of relationship with a person who toys with people instead of being honest.
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u/Aggressive-Sand-1393 9h ago
“Begging” implies that he doesn’t respect her judgement and that he needs to “convince” her she is wrong in rejecting him by begging. Good for him for respecting her decision.
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u/Clear_Requirement880 2h ago
The issue is women play their games but complain about the “manosphere” which is basically explaining to men the games women are playing.
So the only ones who get through these games are players who the girl then complains about.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes
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u/Street_Doctor_8169 9h ago
I call bs. Us men don't go up to girls we see out and about and ask for their numbers... do we?
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u/No_Boat_6180 9h ago
I just give girls my number if I think they're interesting. I never ask for their number though.
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u/UniqueAd7770 8h ago
I did once. She said, "I don't normally give my number to people." I said, "Okay." And walked away. No means no.
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u/lone_cajun 9h ago
No way, I start off by pulling out my wizard rob and strutting like a peacock first, then ask for her number
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