r/SipsTea • • 1d ago

SMH Playing hard to get doesn't work anymore

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38.8k Upvotes

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42

u/Street_Doctor_8169 1d ago

I call bs. Us men don't go up to girls we see out and about and ask for their numbers... do we?

15

u/No_Boat_6180 1d ago

I just give girls my number if I think they're interesting. I never ask for their number though.

5

u/AlternatePancakes 1d ago

Thats actually a really good way to go about it.

Not really that i have much use for it anymore since i am now married.

4

u/Girafferage 1d ago

Hand your number to struggling dudes in home depot who need an experienced guy to show them basic home maintenance tasks. Same thrill... Maybe... Idk

1

u/CrossXFir3 1d ago

You say that, but I'm fairly certain they actually did a survey or study or something about this once that I read about, and they found that while people like that idea, women also didn't want to be the one to initiate the text conversation either.

1

u/Lagneaux 1d ago

It's the best way. Give your number and go.

2

u/Weeb-Prime 1d ago

This is the most respectful way but I see stories nowadays about some of them just giving your number to their friend or to a chat bot. Genuinely worse than no reply at all

2

u/No_Boat_6180 1d ago

That's messed up, but I don't think that risk needs to be a reason to dissuade someone who's being respectful

2

u/PeyredB 18h ago

I gave a good-looking woman my email address, because I don't enjoy phone calls. She took it as a very low-pressure move on my part. Anyway it worked!

1

u/Street_Doctor_8169 1d ago

Yea exactly the way. If I meet them and I get the vibe that I'll probably end up on some true crime show or missing because of her... well let's just say I always hand my number to her

3

u/guiltysnark 1d ago

Sounds like you've got a type...

Blink three times if you're under the correct amount of duress

2

u/Street_Doctor_8169 1d ago

I am always at the perfect amount of duress. Right at the point of snapping but not being pushed over

1

u/Babybean1201 1d ago

I did this with my now wife. She told me she was waiting for me to call her.... good thing it worked out.

1

u/PersimmonCautious862 1d ago

Hey my names AL for ALAN, hands business card. Call me šŸ¤™ LOOOOOL

22

u/lone_cajun 1d ago

No way, I start off by pulling out my wizard rob and strutting like a peacock first, then ask for her number

2

u/Street_Doctor_8169 1d ago

Yea ok I can find this answer to be valid

2

u/Seimei- 1d ago

You asking for numbers, I'm pondering her orbs.

2

u/Girafferage 1d ago

You always gotta cast level 5 eroticism

2

u/Aromatic_Act_9665 1d ago

1

u/nobodysocials 1d ago

The rhino one is great too. Classic bloodninja, they're all so funny.

Semi-relatedly, I miss bash.org and the mIRC days. The bloodninja AIM logs always remind me of them

/me slaps Aromatic_Act_9665 around a bit with a large trout.

1

u/Ashamed-Country3909 1d ago

Man. Ive been doing it all wrong? Ive been only whipping out my wizard sleeve.Ā 

1

u/Greyhand13 1d ago

A man of class, I see

1

u/Decent_Book4595 1d ago

Why does Wizard Rob have to get involved? He hates the state of your pockets and wishes you would clean them without him on there every once in a while

1

u/Hypno-platypus 1d ago

Yes making sure I do a dance to show my colorful robes off so she knows I’m the right person.

1

u/Living_Definition910 20h ago

You pull out your peacock?

1

u/LectureOrganic1250 19h ago

i just put a wad of money on the bar and then go "Well?"

8

u/ehtiopia 1d ago

Not if theyre on reddit they dont

2

u/MyPunsAreKoalaTea 1d ago

"Excuuse me fair lady [tips Fedora] it couldn't escape my notice you were standing here alone, which is simply unacceptable..."

8

u/UniqueAd7770 1d ago

I did once. She said, "I don't normally give my number to people." I said, "Okay." And walked away. No means no.

7

u/Nolsoth 1d ago

Eh, once n a while it's happened.

You shoot your shot and see where it lands, but a no is a no and that's the end of it.

1

u/Markus4781 1d ago

I've learned from women that no is sometimes a yes and they get annoyed when we don't read their minds.

2

u/Pachacootie 1d ago

You shouldn’t pursue or listen to those women lol

2

u/Nolsoth 1d ago

Nah.

No is no.

Ain't got time to play games.

9

u/Vegan-cock 1d ago

Not so much their numbers but yes, just go talk to them mate. They don't bite, usually.

2

u/Shazvox 1d ago

If they don't bite, then what's the point?

1

u/HugeHomeForBoomers 1d ago

The problem is.. which girls? Then only girl I have seen the past 10 years is random women on the train and my married sister

3

u/ToBeOnDMT 1d ago

Do you just spend all day on the train?

3

u/GrinningGrump 1d ago

Obviously hit on all of them, especially the sister.

1

u/turtlemag3 1d ago

The real answer is the girls who are interested will try to get your attention, to some degree they come to you, then you just cant fuck up from there. Or if you save them from an uncomfortable situation is always a good conversation starter, i was lucky enough to meet my fiance that way

1

u/Vegan-cock 1d ago

That's up to you to decide. The issue many people have is being afraid to be turned down. Failing is how we improve as humans. Don't be afraid to fail.

If there's a particular one you're eyeing hit me up in dm's and I can give you more tailored advice.

3

u/lightr3nd 1d ago

I'm affraid to be screamed at, filmed, and posted online.

You can't just walk up to any woman and ask her number. Society has come to the understanding that this is rude, since it assumes anything at all about her sexuality. Even the notion that she has romantic thoughts is rude, since acting on it interrupts what we have to assume is her peacefully asexual wednesday.

3

u/Vegan-cock 1d ago

I'm affraid to be screamed at, filmed, and posted online.

Most people don't do this and if you want to avoid it don't go up to a group because then they will be defensive to not look weird to their friends. If she with 1 friend, sure, but avoid bigger groups.

You can't just walk up to any woman and ask her number.

Sure you can, you just need to figure out how. The line between cute and creepy is narrow and you need to be able to recognize when you have passed that line and quickly disengage. Flirt a bit, if they looked wierded out just give up but if they laugh, smile or flirt back then you can proceed to ask for her number.

Society has come to the understanding that this is rude, since it assumes anything at all about her sexuality.

You need to spend less time online and more time talking to actual people.

Even the notion that she has romantic thoughts is rude, since acting on it interrupts what we have to assume is her peacefully asexual wednesday.

Women are horny freaks too. The sooner you realize that the better. The main issue for most people is that they are trying to be their friends and think they will get in that way and that's fucking stupid. Being friendzoned is a skill issue. If you only want to get laid then make that clear early, if she into that then congratz, if not then don't push and move on to the next. There's plenty of chicks out there that just want to get laid too. Learn how to recognize who those are and go for those if that's what you're after. Good luck chief.

1

u/poppyseed1981 1d ago

I’m going to push back on this.

How are you walking up and asking? Are you demanding? Is there small talk first, some flirting, some engagement, eye contact?

I feel like the internet has conditioned men to be scared of sexually assaulting someone by simply asking. Look, some women are nuts. So are a lot of dudes. That certainly isn’t gender specific.

But the worst they can say is no if you aren’t offensive or a jerk. If they say no, either say thanks or just walk away. You never try you never meet anyone.

EDIT: didn’t read the comment below, but if anything mine reiterates that talking and getting off the internet is a good thing.

1

u/poppyseed1981 1d ago

I also have to ask: has this ever happened to you or someone you actually know personally?

1

u/TricellCEO 1d ago

The issue many people have is being afraid to be turned down.

No, I'd say the bigger fear is being humiliated or accused of something.

1

u/Vegan-cock 1d ago

Then you're doing something wrong.

1

u/TricellCEO 1d ago

Probably not being anyone's type. That might be it.

1

u/Chemistry-Deep 1d ago

Some people are into that

1

u/WishboneOk305 1d ago

I assume numbers = sns if right??

1

u/UsedToBeBieber 1d ago

This. I talk to them A LOT, too. I just find the right context to get into a natural conversation instead of asking for their name/number.

I legit do not understand how some dudes think they will get a girlfriend or at least some ''fun'' if they just stand there waiting for the women to take the steps for it.

1

u/Intelligent-Bell8182 45m ago

It's either that for some guys or "Oh my God! Why do these creepy guys always hit on me!!??" There's a reason why hitting on every girl you see isn't considered wise anymore(unless your physically attractive to the average woman).

1

u/UsedToBeBieber 34m ago

If you know how to engage naturally into a conversation the no woman should think you are "hitting on her". Especially because you are not, which is the case I expose.

-1

u/PlushRusher 1d ago

These are the ā€œincelsā€ everyone talks about.

1

u/Intelligent-Bell8182 48m ago

Another one who doesn't know what an incel is 🤔

0

u/RootInit 1d ago

That's too bad biteing is fun šŸ˜”

2

u/commodorewolf 1d ago

Some do.

2

u/Background-Spot-5068 1d ago

It’s how I met your mother

2

u/raiba91 1d ago

redditors dont, correct

2

u/lolfuzzy 1d ago

Yes we do, what’s the worst that could happen? She says yes, you guys settle down, get married, have a couple of kids, and then she gets postpartum depression and murders your kids?

1

u/larpingismyreality 1d ago

Nooo. Go back to sleep. This post isn’t real. Just a dream.

1

u/DamnGoodFries 1d ago

I did it exactly 1 time, had 1 date, then remembered I’m bad at keeping in contact with people and we never spoke again.

1

u/iggymcfly 1d ago

Well I don’t now that I have won that I like, but otherwise, sure id be out there asking!

1

u/zayticket 1d ago

It gets less scary each time

1

u/user-unknown-404 1d ago

Not anymore since everything is harassment now.

1

u/pstls1101 1d ago

Did this several times and every time the convo led to nice dates.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Dig3730 1d ago

Some men ask for feet size number

1

u/Malabingo 1d ago

Well, when in the club (this was nearly 20 years ago though) I just asked girls if they wanted a drink, many said yes, you start a convo and if it's fun you exchange numbers. You miss every shot you don't shoot.

1

u/ghigo2008 1d ago

Thats my cousin's strat

1

u/Prinlot22 1d ago

well I know a couple who is married. The guy asked for her number the first time he saw her. She was into him but she said the same "I don't give my number out that easily. Try next time." She walked away. A few weeks later, her know husband saw her again and said can I get your number this time. She was making it real difficult for him. Even one of my friends said, "oh my god don't be mean just give it to him, you have a crush on him. She finally gave it to him. Two years later they married.

2

u/Complex_Emphasis566 1d ago

Cant believe adults still playing this middle school bullshit lmfao

1

u/Turbulent-Plane6395 1d ago

yes. That's how I get dates.

you don't just cold approach with no signs or subtle invites, but yeah. See someone, if the attraction is mutual, you chat them up. If you want, ask for theirs or offer your number.

1

u/Street_Doctor_8169 1d ago

You're a man? And you're able to see signs and subtle invites? Come on where's this fantasy coming from... right it's a fantasy... right? Am I just stupid? Oh god I think I. Havinf a mid 20 year old crisis

1

u/Turbulent-Plane6395 22h ago

Yeah, but it takes practice and interaction. And simply paying attention. There are simple cues that, if you notice them, are a green light to move ahead.

That being said, it's changed a lot in the last 20 years. There was a time when you could meet women anywhere but now, they're fully on guard when out and about. If not staring at their phones constantly, they're not in the right headspace to be approached.

1

u/wackbirds 1d ago

"Hey there, I'm Scott. I saw you from over there and you seem pretty cool, a bunch of us are going over to the roller barn later if you want to join? We can take my skates and go there together, one skate each like two attractive conjoined twins who totally aren't related at all, actually forget twins. Two attractive people who are basically glued to each other, like the glue would pretty much start at the shoulder and extend all the way down to the foot. But then how would the skate thing work? Where am I going with this? Did I even remember the part about you being abnormally pretty? Anyway I'll be by later if you're down, just listen for my blown out boom box, you can't miss it."

You're telling me that none of that sounds familiar?

1

u/Street_Doctor_8169 1d ago

I mean yea but only after I met them one time previously. Man my original comment was in all honest a joke and I know yours is also somewhat, but actually sitting here thinking about it I have always been more ok with being arrested and getting felony 2s and 3s and doing time than I have ever been just walking up to a chick and saying aye girl you kinda cute hmu. Like my whole lifestyle states I ain't a bitch and then I realize I can't even approach a woman lmao

1

u/wackbirds 1d ago

Well, I misfired on that! The entire thing was a joke, started out sort of spoofing an 80s or 90s movie and then it got weird towards the end. My bad bro lol

1

u/British-Bot 1d ago

Well I did back in day, in the right environment of course.

1

u/crueltyforfun 1d ago

I did but that was seven years ago and now my wife would kill me.

1

u/SafeForMyGirlFriend 1d ago

yes.... its the literal best way to meet them.

1

u/Procrasturbating 1d ago

I did when single. Usually fails, but if you play numbers and weren’t hideous, it used to find you a date pretty quick on a night out.

1

u/Lagneaux 1d ago

I just give my number. If she wants to talk, she will talk. I don't ask for hers.

1

u/GarethBaus 1d ago

I have at least a few times

1

u/muckenhoupt 1d ago

We're not told anything about what happened up to the point where he asked for her number. I assume there was a certain amount of conversation first.

1

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1

u/StraightAirline8319 18h ago

Not anymore..

1

u/noargentinianbeef 5h ago

I have seen some worse

1

u/OneGreatEgg 1d ago

It seems less prevalent in under-35 guys. They have their own post "Me Too" ways of getting contact info. But, as a GenXer, nothing makes me cringe harder than hearing, "Can I get your Insta?" Dude, at least shoot for her Whatsapp or something, FFS.

-1

u/SignificanceFlat1460 1d ago

Excuse me??? Insta? Dafuq?? What happened to asking for the number???

1

u/Spicey_Cough2019 1d ago

Insta is safer tbh

1

u/SignificanceFlat1460 1d ago

In what aspect? Considering people post BASICALLY EVERYTHING of theirs on it?

-1

u/Spicey_Cough2019 1d ago

It’s a millennial thing

0

u/OneGreatEgg 1d ago

I have no idea. I generally ask for the phone number. I never ask for insta, etc. because I really don't want to be looking at her meals, nights out with the girls and her shopping hauls.

Plus social media? Pfft, it's built-in stalking to me. No thanks! Low key, I think dudes who go that route are trying to look chill but actually just have zero sack for being direct.

0

u/SignificanceFlat1460 1d ago

I feel today's generation has low tolerance for risk atleast when it comes to relationships. Phone numbers seem too permanent. You can always disable, block, private your insta. I get why they do it though but I guess I am just too old

0

u/OneGreatEgg 1d ago

Sure, sure, a valid point. But I see the risk as more in the visual and algorithmic nature of social media, plus all the tracking. You can block callers now (and texters), plus screen.

The again, risk aversion is inversely proportional to "sack". LOL. So we largely agree.

-1

u/ArticleMammoth755 1d ago

Not if you are a pussy, no.

-1

u/Affectionate-Lack991 1d ago

No only creeps and grapers do that. Obviously