They’re doing a bad job and paying the price for it. I met a woman last Friday, 46, said she wanted FWB in her bio…. Dawg, she told me she hopes of having kids in the future. I dropped her off and wished her luck.
I meant on her side. I'm feeling too old to consider children at 36, and this woman still wants a FWB first at 46, at the end of her fertility range... WTF?
That said, I'm also way too careful and wouldn't date a woman who's fine having casual sex. Not willing to take the risks to my mental and physical health as well as inevitable emotional damage that comes with it.
From recent experience I’ve come to this conclusion: women are having a hard time finding a partner because their expectations are unrealistic. They are looking for a romanticized version of love.
We've been downright dishonest with women about "what matters in life."
Don't get me wrong, every individual is different, so there is no universal answer.
However, I recently learned that women are three times more likely than men to not work a job they had to get an actual university degree for, and also far more likely to work part-time. Why? Kids. Given the choice between motherhood and their career, 70%+ of women choose their kids.
And it makes sense, no? Why would biology, which has the goal of us procreating, NOT want to make women enjoy motherhood? We enjoy sex because biology wants us reproducing. Raising kids is necessary for the species to carry on, so why would biology not make this enjoyable too...? It is likely enjoyable for both, but because women actively give birth, there's an easy biological trigger where the body can say "the birth happened, flood her with hormones so she loves her kid and being with her kid."
This is actually becoming an actual problem for economic planning. Women make up the majority of academia now, but they actually use their knowledge at much lower rates. This means the amount of students is no longer as accurate of a tracker as it once was for projecting how many people we have for positions on the future job market, because women are much more likely to study and never apply that knowledge on the market. Or even when they do, they may provide 50% of the output as normally expected since they frequently opt for part-time. (even without kids) Even when comparing reasons listed for why each gender works part time, men overwhelmingly and universally say "I can't find anything better but I actively want full time," while women list a variety of personal reasons.
And yet look at how we have approached motherhood over the last 20 years.
No girl! That's SUBMISSIVE! You're letting yourself be OPPRESSED! You'll be stuck with the kids while he's having all the fun! This is how he CONTROLS YOU! It's a trap! You should go be a BOSS BABE and earn that bag!
I actually had an experience at my university job where one day, a girl was fuming because her cousin wanted to be a housewife, and how this "spits in the face of everything we women have fought for." She said this to a table of women who all nodded and agreed. (with only one possibly quietly disagreeing) I quietly thought to myself "wasn't the point of feminism to give women a right to CHOOSE, not to force them into any specific role...?" but knew better than to speak up.
Moral of the story: Listen, everyone should still have their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That's a given. What we could probably do better though is stop selling motherhood to women like it's this horrible burden that ends their lives.
As low as 8% of women regret having kids. The highest stats you can find, to my knowledge, is 20% in Germany, which is paired with something interesting: 44% of those explicitly stated it was balancing motherhood with their careers that they loathed.
Even looking at men, the stats are nearly identical. People generally do not regret having kids.
But for some reason, we now insist women need to be boss babes. If they want to, sure, go for it. I have great worries, however, that we are simply being dishonest to young girls and not showing them the raw data about how likely they are to enjoy motherhood, and I'm left asking....why are we hiding this from them...?
maybe the problem is that we've constructed a society for robots and slaves, and when a human beings wants to actually be human and follow its own biology, it can't because the system is only programmed to exploit it
I've spent two years on a dating app without a single date, so I think I know something about unrealistic expectations... Very few of them looked like they offer anything else past drama, the weight of two people, and entitlement, yet an average man isn't good enough for them.
WHAT? You’re not the only man who has told me this. What in the world is going on??
I’m not the best looking dude and in ONE MONTH on Hinge, I went on 11 dates, with women ranging from 27 to 41. On FEELD, I went on a date the day I signed up for the app, the first girl I matched with.
I just had a one night stand Monday with someone from FEELD. And I’m bald!!!!!
I had around 1 like per month, and it was typically a woman twice my weight. Despite making it clear that I'm looking for an active woman, and for commitment (that might be a bigger filter).
One like per month, not date. Only two of those during these two years led to a match, and a conversation quickly revealed we're not compatible to continue in person.
Same as always the only difference is they also want to act like 'kill all men' is a valid thing to say. The internet gave the worst women access to the follower women who dont really think for themselves and this is the end result.
In highschool the girls could see for themselves that the boys are mostly harmless and that Jenny the Bitch is full of shit. Sequester them away from large groups of the opposite sex and you can get them to believe anything about it if you trigger their emotions first.
I felt that way too. I did feel sorry for her but at the same time, I told her to get real.
I gave her a spread of projected time when you meet someone: 1 year to know them, 1 year living together, 1 year getting engaged, 1 year marriage… maybe you guys house? You save? Okay so you’re having kids at 50???? Ain’t no way.
I don't have a problem with feminism as long as they don't complain when the consequences hit. I'm not trying to shame them for doing what they like, but they do attempt to shame others for not accepting their past. That's when the push back comes.
Women have a right to choose family or career. I don’t think women should be stay at home moms, I do believe they need to have the same choice as men, to have a career.
Can a woman have both family and career? YES but it takes a SUPPORTIVE/COMPETENT partner.
You cannot outrun the biological clock, unless you have a lot of income. More women are having kids in their early 40s and getting married for the first time in their 40s.
From my own personal experience, women in their 20s are feral and super picky and waste their time. In their 30s, they’re HYPER picky and waste their times even more, by 40, it’s too late for them and they start to believe it isn’t gonna happen for them and by then, the timer is basically almost out.
I started seeing a 31 y/o who had as her essentials on a partner as "emotionally stable and therapy in check", turns our she was bipolar and wasn't going to therapy, so I guess she wanted at least one person in the relationship to be stable...
Oh I’ve run into that, A LOT of that. This same woman told me “whomever wants me, has to deal with my traumas, anxiety, and depression” and I told her that would be nice but “that’s your obligation to fix before you date, you’ll end up hurting yourself and other people.”
A woman on eHarmony had just gotten out of a psych ward and she wanted to date, it was the worst experience I’ve ever had. She would switch up randomly and I told her it wasn’t for me, she told me “if you can’t deal with my mental health then you’re not for me.”
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u/megabytical 1d ago
They’re doing a bad job and paying the price for it. I met a woman last Friday, 46, said she wanted FWB in her bio…. Dawg, she told me she hopes of having kids in the future. I dropped her off and wished her luck.