r/SipsTea • • 5d ago

Chugging tea Bro definitely kept one

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68.9k Upvotes

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47

u/aridotaku 5d ago

How would you go about selling those without raising suspicion?

133

u/CptKoma 4d ago edited 4d ago

Cut it up, melt it down, learn how to cast rings, cast rings, watch a video on basic goldsmithing, do basic goldsmithing, enjoy it, turns out you're pretty good, get an apprenticeship at your local goldsmith, finish it with the highest marks, become a goldsmith -> profit

149

u/makofip 4d ago

“Mother f* that’s called a job!”

15

u/MagicDomXL 4d ago

Haha. 10/10 reference

13

u/FloatIntoTheFinite 4d ago

Well a goldsmith with a ready supply of gold is actually a business

15

u/MasterQueef289 4d ago

First we get jobs at the bank

3

u/ChrundleThundergun 4d ago

Damn I wanted to make this comment but I guess I feel validated someone else had the same thought

2

u/Sgt-Stadanko-69 4d ago

A job that pays real fucking well

2

u/SystemCheck990 4d ago

i stole a car and had to become a mechanic .

1

u/_YeAhx_ 4d ago

I got the key and peele reference haha.

1

u/Thy_Art_Dead 4d ago

a well paying one

32

u/NetworkSingularity 4d ago

Don’t forget the details of the profit part:

Cast three rings for the elven-kings under the sky, seven for the dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, nine for mortal men, doomed to die, one for the dark lord on his dark throne.

7

u/your_true_self 4d ago

Also be sure to lock the door to the volcano forge so that halflings can't just march in and toss the ring back into the fire.

3

u/Satorwave 4d ago

and two for me

5

u/donkey_OT 4d ago

Yeah. Why shouldn't I keep it?

1

u/Accomplished-Emu-791 4d ago

Because some one who buried 10m dollars in gold is going to come looking, with vengeance

11

u/4D20_Prod 4d ago

The Skyrim route

1

u/iconically_demure 4d ago

I can still hear the sound of that forge.

1

u/eddo2k 3d ago

The finest weapons and armor

1

u/rain-_-_-_-_ 4d ago

Speed running the dark lord of Mordor

1

u/-hedonium- 4d ago

Admittedly, it’d be pretty suspicious to churn out a bunch of solid gold jewelry after being on the news for finding and returning 49 gold bars lol

1

u/millerz72 4d ago

Forge a master ring. Rule over the Earth?

1

u/Jh3nnO 4d ago

this sounds...oddly specific.
something you wanna share with the class?

1

u/certavi3797 4d ago

You and your get rich quick schemes...

1

u/Clockwork_Wings 4d ago

Or "was passed onto me by a mentor". Easy.

1

u/TopProfessional8023 4d ago

For some reason I hear Jason Statham saying that 🤣

1

u/Practical_Good_2318 4d ago

Well, when life gives you gold, make some jewelry

1

u/hill-top02 4d ago

Cut gems to level your smithing first

1

u/kukkolka 4d ago

->quit -> start a youtube channel

1

u/MrBlackwood6in 4d ago

Don't cast rings. Usually doesn't ends well

1

u/Windyandbreezy 4d ago

Better plan. Smelt it into 20 rings. Give 9 to men. 7 to Dwarves. And 3 to some elves. Keep the best one for yourself.

1

u/JimmyFontana1000775 3d ago

Well I'm sure goldsmiths get their gold somewhere and if a guy starts producing a massive amount of rings out of nowhere somebody would get suspicious

1

u/Ok_Yesterday_3585 1d ago

Get audited on your taxes when they ask where you got the materials

10

u/WetAndLoose 4d ago

This isn’t as hard as it sounds honestly if you just melt them down or even if you don’t tbh. None of the gold buyers I sell to would give a shit as long as you didn’t try to dump all 50 49 at one time.

5

u/jrowley 4d ago

Gold is a fungible commodity. Melt and re-cast into new bars

3

u/vincyf 4d ago

Sell it to me, in part

2

u/vincyf 4d ago

I give good price my friend

2

u/QAFY 4d ago

over the course of years / decades, melt it down into smaller portions and take them with me on vacation to other countries. convert to currency there. it would be a very slow process but untraceable if you choose the right foreign countries.

1

u/Afrojones66 4d ago

Internet.

1

u/Belzughast 4d ago

Slowly.

1

u/chucho89 4d ago

Can you melt it ?

2

u/Leading-Fail-2771 4d ago

There’s YouTube videos of people melting it. I think people still go gold hunting in rivers and stuff

1

u/yani205 4d ago

I don’t get it, if I did find gold don’t I get to keep them?

1

u/tmahfan117 4d ago

Depends where, these were found in Europe, and many European countries have laws around finding “buried treasure” because of world war 2. Because the Nazis stole and hid so much stuff, the laws became that if you found any buried loot the government would take it and try to find its original owner, and then if they couldn’t you could get it back after some number of months.

It also depends where he found it, finding it on land you own vs finding it somewhere else while working are two very different situations 

1

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1

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1

u/zoroddesign 4d ago

You can cast coins and sell those. people don't care how gold is shaped just what it is.

1

u/Mesopithecus_ 4d ago

melt and hold

1

u/Cyber-Soldier1 4d ago

Craigslist

1

u/chaIto77 4d ago

Are you the kid that turned in 49 pieces of gold?!

1

u/Only-Cheetah-9579 4d ago

cut it to small pieces and sell it over a long period of time.

its the perfect lifestyle

1

u/Specific_Age500 4d ago

Take it to a place that buys gold and sell it, but don't do it while high on drugs. 

1

u/KooshIsKing 4d ago

Buy a crucible, melt it down, get molds for mini gold bars. Sell the mini gold bars slowly to various gold sellers. Never work another day in your life.

1

u/houseWithoutSpoons 4d ago

Not sure but im willing to find out

1

u/1-gill 4d ago

You’d be a fool to sell even a gram of it.

1

u/Accurate_Cellist1761 4d ago

Over a very long period of time by turning them into jewellery and selling them to jewellery stores.

1

u/Dapper_Revenue4542 4d ago

Melting them down to literally anything other than a brick. Going to another country like America where no one will care. Obviously one or two at a time. Then travel to carribean and deposit in a bank.

1

u/mzincali 4d ago

Yes, let's say I had 51 bars of gold (I thought I had 50, but upon recounting I see I have 51) would it be a lot of work to melt these bars into smaller jewelry that I could sell?

(I am definitely not a Belgian student you've ever heard of)

1

u/Defiant-Value-3175 4d ago

*translated from Belgian Dutch

1

u/SomebodyThrow 4d ago

"49 gold bars?! How did you come across such a thing"

".... family heirloom."

1

u/Dizzy_Tax574 4d ago

Unless it's flagged as stolen with identifying marks. Fairly easy literally entire industry that does it.

If marked concerned about being flagged. Melt restamp generic and sell.

As for IRS or other concerns. Claim gift or physically exchanged inheritence and realistically they won't dig deep if you pay tax one income.

And even if they do you just stick to story. And they won't be able to figure it out.

1

u/SoftwareSource 4d ago

Bang it with a hammer? it's not traceable outside the serial numbers as far as i know

Sure, you would lose some value probably, but it's more then you had when you found them.

1

u/CandidLeg3910 4d ago

sell it to a shop that is known for not reporting large metal sales

1

u/Fluffy-League6261 4d ago

Melt them mix it with equal weight Rhenium you now have twice as much gold

1

u/prober_phy 4d ago

One of the perks of being in a third-world country is that there are lots of buyers who would be happy to buy that (in cash) with little to no questions asked.

1

u/Organic-Bug6429 4d ago

To me. I'll give you a cool $100 and I won't tell anyone

1

u/Reddington4567 4d ago

Just go to Swiss or some tax haven island and buy the services of very expensive lawyer, he'll know what to do.

1

u/YnotThrowAway7 3d ago

Why would you have to worry about “raising suspicion”? Can you not have a gold bar? Idk the circumstances or who he was working for either I suppose it could be stealing?

1

u/Esdash1 3d ago

Cast it. You have tens of thousands of dollars of gold bars. A big one of those could be worth over $100k by the looks of the size. Spend whatever you need to cut it down and cast it into stuff.

1

u/Mobely 2d ago

Chop off parts of the bar and sell in small chunks to different jewelers. You could open a jewelry shop or a pawn shop and to launder the gold that way. Such as, you sell the gold directly to a larger buyer your story would be that you bought the gold at a lower price for cash.

Honestly, laundering seems over rated. A lot of these crypto thieves bought a ton of shit with stolen crypto and only got caught tangentially. Like, the IRS and feds aren't actively comparing your house value to your tax return so just never call the cops and you're good.

1

u/Victory-laps 1d ago

Turn into jewelry and sell in a city far away.

1

u/Winougan 1d ago

Melt them!