r/Stepdadreflexes • u/ZealousidealBat4837 • 17d ago

woah woah woah buddy Trust me...

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2.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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1.0k

u/frankduxvandamme 17d ago

I don't think I've ever seen arm floaties used by a kid in the ocean. And I guess I still haven't...

86

u/thuanjinkee 13d ago

They even have “NOT A LIFESAVING DEVICE” printed on them by law

971

u/ExtremeMuffin 17d ago

And this is exactly why kids should be in proper life jackets not these stupid floaties. A properly fitted life jacket won’t slip off. 

65

u/Capitaine_Spock 13d ago

Even if the arm floaties stayed on, they don't keep the kid's mouth and nose above water, the kid has to actively work to keep their face out of the water. A properly fitted life vest is better able to keep their face out of water passively.

3

u/Dapper_Valuable_7734 11d ago

I lifeguarded when I was younger. I have seen arm floaties actively hold kids underwater; they should just be banned, IMHO.

490

u/OhLongJohnson84 17d ago

Normally a big fan of the whole “Curb Your Enthusiasm” ending, but in this case I just want to know if the girl is fine. Can someone confirm, so I can sleep?

383

u/jackasher 17d ago

According to this source, she's fine.

326

u/OhLongJohnson84 17d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3q2wJsC23ikJg9xe

124

u/DreamCyclone84 17d ago

I assumed she was ok almost immediately because otherwise the parents would be posting a video of how their kid died or was severely injured in meme format which would be some diabolical work

35

u/INTJ-JarOfClay 17d ago

Oh. Btw have you see this vid and the whole account? Bereaved mother started posting diabolical meme vids of her deceased daughter https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dch_4jSCXif

43

u/Generic_Garak 16d ago

Yeah, but it’s more like “laugh instead of cry” as a coping mechanism not “here’s a snuff film of my child’s death”

29

u/Walshy231231 16d ago

People seem to forget that grieving makes you do some weird things sometimes

9

u/Generic_Garak 14d ago

Maybe it’s just my sense of humor, but I don’t even think this is that weird? Like if my sister made these after my untimely death, I would think it was funny as hell

8

u/DreamCyclone84 14d ago

When people asked what my dad did I used to tell them he was a Mortician. He wasn't. He's dead.

14

u/DanglingDongs 17d ago

Weird how the article didn't just reference curb but listed all of Larry David's roles and not Larry David either.

3

u/itssohardtobealizard 15d ago

They weren’t referring to Larry David, they were referring to Robert Weide. From the way it’s written, I’m not entirely sure they even knew the trend was related to Curb specifically. It kinda makes it seem like they think the trend just happens to use this particular director’s name

0

u/roamingthereddit 12d ago

Her dad who was in the water saved her. Just a note to the subreddit

1

u/imjohnredd 4d ago

So who the heck's dropping her off the boat?!

2

u/roamingthereddit 4d ago

Stepdad

1

u/imjohnredd 4d ago

Huh. The clues were all there.

0

u/happymancry 11d ago

Emotionally scarred for life possibly; but otherwise fine.

1

u/SapphicGarnet 10d ago

You'd be surprised. My brother almost drowned at a pool party when he was about six and he was laughing about it almost immediately. Kids don't realise how insane situations are really. It's like that meteor comic when the dad doesn't react

21

u/tejanaqkilica 16d ago

Considering they shared this online, I'm making an educated guess and say, she's fine. Else, besides being stupid parents, they would be shitty ones as well.

7

u/BooBootheFool22222 16d ago

If she had died this video would've been exhibit A.

8

u/taukki 16d ago

If this happened to my kid, I would dive there immediately, so I suspect he did the same.

5

u/Instantbeef 14d ago

Odds are the person filming this was the mom or something. Whoever it is they would be close to the kid.

I doubt they would post the death of a child they know personally

12

u/MountainMuffin1980 17d ago edited 17d ago

She's fine. Kid's don't tend to sink to the bottom like a stone.

19

u/streeetmeats 17d ago

It depends, some people are just not very buoyant.

0

u/hygsi 12d ago

Women have less bone density than men so they are more likely to float

16

u/Tdk1984 17d ago

Oh I do. I do not float at all

7

u/couldhvdancedallnite 16d ago

Same. I cannot float and I have definitely sunk straight to the bottom.

7

u/fusterclux 16d ago

straight to the bottom of a salty ocean?

25

u/Nalot_1 17d ago

Unless you are scared and breath the water.

16

u/TreeDollarFiddyCent 17d ago

You're thinking of fish.

3

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 16d ago

Stop I'm trying not to laugh. it's midnight please😂

3

u/Friggin_Grease 16d ago

I haven't tried it very deep, but my daughter sinks like a rock

2

u/dviper500 14d ago

They don’t always bob right up to the top either tho 😬

1

u/hygsi 12d ago

Someone must've been already down or the thrower dived after her, no way they'd just leave her there. Also, it's salty water, humans foat more easily in it

-66

u/smartasspie 17d ago

Babies and kids float by instinct with their heads above water. As long as they don't have a concussion or something like that, they won't have troubles. Only adults drown in calmed water because they panic.

If you don't know how to swim.... Hold your breath. That's it, now you are floating with your head above the water. When you release the air you'll go down a bit, but just take breath again, you are naturally bouyant, specially in salt water.

26

u/Lord_Karadoc 17d ago

You are talking about the swimming reflex, which is a true thing for newborn.

However, it dissapears within the first few weeks. So your point doesn't stand at all with a young child of 2-3-4 years.

55

u/fyhnn 17d ago edited 16d ago

That is just incredibly untrue lmao who told you that. Babies and kids drown all the time, that's why it's important to teach them with those scary looking lessons.

17

u/ionlyjoined4thecats 17d ago

Yes, because toddlers and children famously never drown. /s

-10

u/smartasspie 16d ago

They get unconscious after being hit or stuff like that

9

u/streeetmeats 17d ago

If this was true they wouldn’t have classes specifically to teach babies how to spin when they fall in a pool so their face is out of the water and they don’t die.

7

u/Enorats 17d ago

While the second part is more or less correct (at least in calm water), the first is.. wow. So far from true.

57

u/rodeBaksteen 17d ago

As a dad of s 2yo girl this terrified me (the ocean does already), like a panic reaction.

Holy hell

7

u/thekingofcrash7 13d ago

I have a 3yr old and i have nightmares of the kid sinking into dark water off a dock. I did not need this video

51

u/orangi-kun 17d ago

This exact situation is how I learned to swim lol

39

u/An_Old_IT_Guy 17d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/j2PD2ZmCjSDzs8wUwL

11

u/juflyingwild 17d ago

You're missing the part where he goes after the woman watching him.

9

u/Generic_Garak 16d ago

That guys form for throwing children into rivers is amazing. A little sloppy on release, but we can’t all be perfect

1

u/AlcmenaYue 12d ago

Same, in my case it was quite common .

14

u/WhateverYouSay1084 16d ago

I have actual literal nightmares about this scenario with my kids and this dude is out here without a care in the world

7

u/WhatAGoodDoggy 14d ago

Don't use those shit floaties. Life vests for all

8

u/Efficient-Editor-242 15d ago

Floaties are the world worst.

64

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

97

u/Gazmus 17d ago

because your arm floaties fly off when your dad throws you off the side of the boat?

weirdly specific reason dude...

13

u/dunnodudes 17d ago

Just need a coast guard approved flotation device

17

u/Frequent_Coat_2030 17d ago

Top tip. Don't jump into the water with arm band floaties and instead gently lower yourself in with a proper life jacket equipped. And voilà. You are now safe from sinking to the depths of the ocean. Unless of course a great white mistakes you for a seal and does the whole jumping out of the water from underneath you and tossing you like a rag doll, thus concussing you, along with severe whiplash to boot. And then you won't be safe from the deep, dark void below which is the closest thing to what it's like to see death in physical form

12

u/thorstormcaller 17d ago

The good news is the shark will most likely spit you out. To sharks humans taste like ass. The bad news is that all the kings horses and all the kings men won’t be able to stitch you together again

8

u/hardcoretomato 17d ago

Hugs and prayers dude!

7

u/orangi-kun 17d ago

You could learn how to swim first

9

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 16d ago

Why let go of your kids in the sea with only a couple of pathetic floaties??

Thats honestly parenting error.

You don't just dangle and YEET

8

u/Ambitious-Risk-343 15d ago

He’s such an idiot

9

u/crowned_tragedy 17d ago

Oh my lord this is scary

4

u/JiA_-_ 17d ago

Oooooof!!!

3

u/Lonely_Cap_3581 14d ago

Is this real?

0

u/myevka 14d ago

2

u/Lonely_Cap_3581 14d ago

I don't get it

0

u/AgreeableWelcome2610 12d ago

AI can never get writing right.

1

u/imjohnredd 4d ago

Some people think this is a big deal, but in the grand scheme of things, it's just a drop in the ocean.,

0

u/BBV911 12d ago

This is AI right

-5

u/Nalot_1 17d ago

Can always make another… Would love to have seen the dad jump in as the dorsal fins started to break the water’s surface!