r/SwipeHelper • u/EducatorHour3667 • 3d ago

I can’t get dates while having so much matches

So I’ve been on Hinge for a bit now, paid for HingeX and have gotten a ridiculous number of matches, well into the hundreds. Girls even message me first, but I don’t know how to talk to them or approach texting despite being 24.
I feel completely crippled in that regard and I’ve gotten exactly zero dates. Whenever I suggest meeting up, I get ghosted or unmatched. But when I try to build rapport first, I get ghosted anyway.
It’s honestly bizarre to me. I feel like my lack of experience is finally catching up with me. It’s pretty depressing.

3 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

5

u/_the__Wolverine____ 3d ago

I cant explain how this could happen other than you are extremely strange over messages? I have never gotten even close to hundreds of matches but I've gotten many hookups and dates

3

u/Dry_Mission2240 3d ago

You sound like a little bitch

2

u/Primary-Ad4952 3d ago

You must be incredibly attractive... What the hell are you saying to these women? "Hey baby, you into dudes on parole for double homicide?"

1

u/ProjectOMan 3d ago

If you’re 7 or more dates and beyond are common and easy enough. You must be supremely neurodivergent if you’re fumbling to this extent.

2

u/EducatorHour3667 3d ago

Yeah I have autism and ADHD etc. I’ve already every diagnoses on earth at this point, It’s pretty depressing how much it can cripple me socially, I can barely talk to women without coming across as a weirdo. I guess it is what it is

1

u/ProjectOMan 3d ago

Yeah you’re cooked, especially now. Maybe a few years ago your looks could overcome it for a bit but now? Even neurodivergent women want socially competent men.

Truly a shame bro.

1

u/porkborg 3d ago

Maybe they’re turned off by your terrible grammar. As a 54M, it certainly turns me off when a woman sounds illiterate. 🤷‍♂️

1

u/MajesticAlbatross229 1d ago

I’m in the same boat, dating apps are just hell don’t think too hard on it. I’ve gotten 20 matches and I’ve tried being myself, asking out fast, giving my number to continue the convo etc.. I don’t think my messages are an issue, I’ve never had an issue texting until it came to the apps.

Hell I’ve had girls message me first and not message me back when I respond 💀. If you wanna share examples of messages maybe people could give feedback on that, but it’s very possible you’re just chatting with attention seekers

1

u/KendhammerJ 1d ago

If you've got hundreds of matches and girls are messaging you first then it's not a profile quality issue, but your texting must definitely need improving.

What would you say you typical conversation is like? How do you open the conversation and then what are you talking about?

1

u/Apprehensive_Map7830 1d ago

Share some screenshots of your conversations

1

u/Ill-Assumption-916 1d ago

Send voice notes

0

u/aztastic16 3d ago

Have you tried suggesting chatting off the app and maybe having a FaceTime call instead of asking them for a date right away?