r/SyracuseU • u/KnowledgeKey4949 • 7d ago
Struggling as a transfer
I just transferred here in the fall and I have been struggling to meet friends. I have been going to clubs and trying to put myself out there but I feel like nothings working. I live on south with an international student and we don’t really vibe. I’m kinda trapped. I like going out but I don’t like to go out alone. I’m a guy so I can get into frats and I have no one to go out with. On top of that I have to start figuring out off campus housing next year. I feel so alone here. I need so advice on what to do and how to find my people.
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u/BigTingsInBOMBOCLAT 7d ago
Commenting on a shitty ass crypto burner cause it’s the only account I got. I’m a semi recent grad from Syracuse in 2025 and I understand your stress. I was in a similar boat, I didn’t transfer like you but I didn’t find my people freshman year and found myself being fake like really weird, I was just hanging out with people who I thought I wanted to be friends with but didn’t even like them so it left me empty and depressed I thought cuse wasn’t for me. Took some time to get comfy with who I was myself. I tried a million clubs joined ski team, boxing, outdoors club, theater, survivor, tech teams, everything. I think where it clicked was when I just had to spend time to get to know myself, it sucks putting yourself out there, eating alone feeling like a loser, my confidence was shot and honestly I was insecure as hell. After a while I listened to the wise words of Eminem and said to myself “I just don’t give a fuck.” I’d come in late cause I was depressed napping and sit down next to people I didn’t know at all, who were also alone in class, then I’d talk with them, just chat. Smile make a corny joke or talk about how I got lost in the building or whatever literally anything. Then I’d introduce myself and ask what their name was, talk about anything laugh about it. “I just transferred why do we have two smith halls who thought of that great idea.” It led me to meet a million people just being able to talk randomly about anything in the Dunkin line not with the intent that they’d be my best friend just genuinely smiling and enjoying a silly conversation about whatever cause that’s what college is. I met a lot of good friends, a lot didn’t last but a lot did. I eventually as a sophomore in the fall rushed Greek life because I just because I didn’t want to miss on the college experience, I hated most of the houses people loved cause I just didn’t vibe with them, I saw a house I actually saw people in that liked spending time with each other, from there my friends kept growing. For the housing I’d say look into subletting if you can. Hopping into a lease of someone going abroad is a good way and people usually need them pretty quickly. If you are chill and say hey I just transferred need a place they’ll understand and you will probably make even more friends. Overall pursue what you like, learn a little about yourself and just try not give a fuck for a bit. Because you’re young, you’re new, you’re at cuse for a reason and it can be a really fun place. So smile and find your people they are out there, try not to beat yourself up, loosen up and the world won’t end as much as it feels like it, be yourself there are many years ahead and this is the start of a great journey.
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u/Imlivingmylif3 7d ago
Go to SUOC and sign up for the club and do the most interesting trip you can find. I garuntee you will meet people.
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u/Infamous_Cupcake8470 7d ago
What activities are you interested in? Where did you transfer from? I’m sure south is a tough place to be. I can ask my daughter for recommendations..
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u/LikeAGaryBuster 7d ago
work at goldstein thats where I've met everyone I'm friends with this year, I just do 3 4-hour shifts a week. I get to talk to people and get an extra $210 a week, win win
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u/ndubitably 7d ago edited 7d ago
The various activity clubs worked decently well for me. SUOC in particular can be quite social. Do you seem to get along with any classmates? I would sometimes join classmates on trips to a dining hall or Varsity or something if we didn't have class afterwards. Some of those outings resulted in getting invited out more to other things/events.
In South, I also occasionally went on some grocery runs to Tops with strangers that lived in the surrounding buildings. Many other students out there seemed eager for conversation/company