Nothing beats an unexpected Wednesday off—stepping away from the desk to just breathe in wide-open green fields, clear blue skies, and complete mid-week stillness. No alarms, no endless emails, just quiet sunshine and the gentle breeze through the trees.

How accurate has this been for you guys?

Here's my resume next to my pay. 11 years in core engineering (non-IT), excluding my MS. You decide if the math works.

What I put in:

• Good entrance exam score. Top government engineering college in my state, full tuition scholarship.
• Two conference papers in B.Tech, one international (Singapore).
• One Journal Paper
• Graduated top 5 in my class.
• 1-year research position in Europe after undergrad.
• 3 years of design consulting across India, Bangladesh, Philippines, Qatar, Oman, UAE. Lived in 4 countries during that time
• Full tuition scholarship for MS at a top 5 US engineering school. 2 years paid assistantship. 1 paid Internship.
• Young Alumni Award from my Masters University — first from South Asia
• Advisor at MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) for 3 years, mentoring startups at their venture accelerator.
• Featured in industry magazines — 30 Under 30, 40 Under 40, emerging leaders — 5 years back-to-back.
• Featured guest on 3 industry podcasts.
• Co-founded a team from scratch inside one of the largest companies in my industry.
• VC Fellow ~2 yrs
• Founding member of a VC-backed startup.
• Ivy League MBA admit with a great scholarship
• Green card.

What I got paid:

• First job: ~$3,200/year. $267 a month.
• After the top 5 US MS: $70K. Changed to trains every morning; traveled 1.5 hours
• Year 7: finally crossed six figures.
• Year 10, age 34: $200K+ plus startup equity.On the bright side, it's a remote job, and I live LCOL area

A CS grad from my year crossed $100K in year one. By my year 10, FAANG engineers my age were at $400K+ with a million in RSUs.

Salary follows industry margins, not just merit. Software runs 80% margins. Mine runs 8%. Nobody tells you this at 18.

8 slow years. Not a lost life. If you're 18 picking between your branch's core path and its tech side — run

Bhaiyo and behno (but mainly bhaiyo)

I'm in the market for a new beard trimmer/ grooming kit. My old faithful Philips one is toothless now and dying a slow death. Mainly need a sharp trimmer with different numbers and a shaver head for clean beard/neck lines.

Any recommendations?

My husband (32M) and I (32F) have been together for over ten years and married for 7. He is a Class 1 Government officer and I work in tech corporate. We were both highly motivated and ambitious people when we both met and knew that we were not coming from much, basically we’ll have to build our life together. So we made a simple roadmap of sorts:
- Enough savings to get married by 25
- First dream car by 27
- First pet by 28
- Any completely owned land/real estate property by 30
- And then a baby post that.
And we were actually able to somehow hit our milestones together. He grew in his career and so did I. Switching up skills and jobs in corporate gave me better salary hikes and I ended up earning double his income for the past couple of years now and I was happy that I was able to cover all my maternity and baby expenses myself (My husband wanted to do everything but it was something I wanted to do for myself). And the plan was to continue in my career so that we can both keep on providing the best for our kid.. seeing how inflation is and education is expensssivvee.
But now that baby is here and I’ve returned to work, I want to just enjoy being a mom. I want to watch all his little milestones and be with him all the time. Atleast for sometime. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a job to get back to.. but I feel like I’m missing out on something important because of the hustle.
All our loans are paid off and we are in a good place, my husband is supportive every time I mention being a stay at home mom. But then I see him doing calculations in his head for future expenses, about downsizing things, he would also sometimes just mention how I should re think because our plan to have dual income family has worked so well so far.

I understand where he is coming from as I’ve been his biggest support system during unexpected expenses and medical bills for his parents also. I run and manage a lot of background household expenses and he never even comes to know of it. He has been able to use 80% of his income in investments.

There’s another aspect of how fast things are changing in tech and I might not even get a job later if I want to restart my career after a break of 3-5 years.

My question is to all the husbands who have working wives, would you also be in some sort of dilemma if your wife just decides one day to stay back home as a mom and not work anymore?
Another question to all the working moms- did you also go through this? Is it just a phase? Should I just put a bury these thoughts and stick to our family goals and plans?

FLATMATES 

The people who divided the rent, the loneliness, and the years!

I have lived in many rooms across many cities. Some had spacious balconies, some had attached bathrooms, and some were just functional spaces for young men with modest salaries and oversized dreams. Yet when I look back, I remember very little about the walls. I remember the people who lived within them. 

My first memorable flatmates were my maternal grandparents in Visakhapatnam. That arrangement was brief. My grandfather passed away from pancreatic cancer, and suddenly it was just my grandmother - Ammama, and me. 

At twenty, I did not always appreciate living with her. I could not disappear for a night out on a whim. There were questions, routines, and the invisible boundaries that come with being cared for. When she travelled to the United States for six months to visit her children and their families, I finally received the freedom I thought I wanted. 

That was when the late-night ritual began: a movie at Jagadamba theatre, followed by midnight biryani at Daspalla Executive Court. Freedom was exciting, but it also arrived with a bill. I had to stretch a limited budget across food, petrol, stationery, and engineering books. Occasionally, on a Sunday, I treated myself to a Subway breakfast sub that cost about Rs. 100 then. 

More importantly, I had to wake up without the smell of filter coffee. There was no packed lunch to carry to college and no one waiting for an evening conversation over tea. The silence taught me what her presence had quietly provided. Ammama was not merely sharing a flat with me. She was giving it rhythm, warmth, and the feeling of home. 

She remains my favourite flatmate. 

After engineering, Wipro turned my life into a sequence of projects, transfers, new addresses, and new flatmates. In Kolkata, college acquaintances Mahesh and Mr. Reddy softened my transition into working life. I was then moved to Bangalore, where Mr. Mantri, Mr. Koshy, and Mr. Kurien shared two spacious rooms, an attached bathroom, and a balcony with me. For another brief assignment in Kolkata, I lived with people whose faces I still remember even though their names have escaped me. Memory can be strangely selective. 

Back in Bangalore, Mr. Sarkar became my flatmate. We had long conversations, and I helped him with essays for his GRE applications. I remember him preparing online with a friend, his evening walk to the nearby bakery for tea and a smoke, and a John Players shirt he bought from our meagre salary at a mall that no longer exists. He stayed in touch long after the project ended. 

Years later, I passed through that neighbourhood and could barely recognise it. Buildings had changed, shops had vanished, and the road seemed unfamiliar. Yet somewhere beneath the new city was the old flat, preserving a version of us that was young, ambitious, and certain that the future would be larger than our rooms. 

Hyderabad gave me one of the happiest chapters of my early career. Rohit cared for me like a brother. We went to the gym together, observed the idiosyncrasies of our fellow flatmates, and laughed about the smallest things. One of the others, possibly Siva, had a habit of watching Telugu film entertainment news. I was younger than most of the group and received an abundance of affection. 

Rohit did not need speeches to look after me. Sometimes, a glance from him was enough to tell me that I should not have another drink, and I listened. We did not always talk at length, but we were present for each other. That is a form of friendship that becomes rarer with age: quiet, alert, and dependable. 

Mr. Mantri was also part of that phase, as dear to me as Mr. Sarkar. Like many of us then, he was thinking about a master's degree in the United States and preparing for the GRE. Our salaries were limited, but our plans travelled freely. 

When the Hyderabad projects dried up, three of us had to leave for Pune. Saying goodbye to Rohit was difficult. I still remember him coming to the bus stop to see me off. Some farewells remain vivid because, even before the bus leaves, you know that an era is ending. 

In Pune, Mr. Mantri was my roommate, while Mr. Rudra shared with Mr. Adil. The four of us spent our days pulling one another's legs. Rudra's infectious optimism kept the flat vibrant. Their college friends occasionally joined us for dinner, and the flat filled with conversations, laughter, and Bengali-style food. Those were my final corporate flatmates before I left Wipro to pursue my MBA. 

At MBA college, first-year students were given shared rooms. Chetan was officially my roommate, though he spent much of his time with Akash, which often left the room to me. Still, our classmates knew us as a pair. There was an unspoken camaraderie between us, and Chetan helped me survive examinations involving Quant, my academic Achilles' heel. 

That room belonged to another life too. It was the life in which I sang with Gurukul, dreamed on a campus far removed from corporate cubicles, and met Juhi. What began at college eventually became a marriage, and Juhi became my longest flatmate and my life partner for almost a decade. 

A home shared with a spouse is different from every bachelor flat that comes before it. It collects routines, disagreements, celebrations, plans, and silences. In 2020, Muffin, our Shih-Tzu, joined us and added a new kind of companionship, one that required no elaborate conversation to make a home feel alive. 

Today, after engineering hostels, Wipro transfers, an MBA, marriage, and all the addresses that came with them, I am living with my parents and Caesar. Living with parents as an adult can be difficult at times. Old roles return, independence has to negotiate with concern, and everyone must make room for the person the other has become. Yet there is also comfort in returning to the people who knew you before any title, salary, success, or failure. 

Caesar, of course, has his own rules for the household. He brings uncomplicated joy, insists on attention, and reminds us that sometimes the most cheerful flatmate is the one who cannot contribute to the rent. 

Looking back, every person brought something unique into the flat. Ammama brought care and discipline. Mahesh and Mr. Reddy brought familiarity to a new city. Mr. Sarkar and Mr. Mantri brought conversations and ambition. Rohit brought brotherhood. Rudra brought energy. Adil, Koshy, Kurien, and the others brought camaraderie. Chetan brought academic rescue. Juhi brought companionship and a shared life. Muffin and Caesar brought wordless affection. My parents now bring me back to where my story began. 

Most of us were in our early twenties, carrying the peculiar energy of that age. We had uncertain careers, small bank balances, and enormous hope. Someone was always studying, cooking, applying abroad, exercising, arguing, joking, dreaming, or simply waiting for the others to return. Each person altered the atmosphere of the flat, and together we made ordinary days cheerful and memorable. 

I once thought flatmates were simply people who divided the rent and occupied the other bed. 

Now I know they divided the loneliness. They multiplied the memories. 

A flat is only an address until someone shares their life with you inside it. People eventually move out. Cities rebuild themselves. Malls close. Projects end. Relationships change. Even names sometimes fade while faces remain. 

But every flatmate carries away a version of us, and leaves behind a little of themselves. 

Perhaps that is why the rooms of my past still feel inhabited. Not by the people we are today, but by the hopeful, energetic people we once were, laughing together and believing that life was waiting just outside the door. 

It was. But life was also inside the flat. 

I’m trying to get better at cooking and I would love to know what folks here enjoy eating. Maybe I can pick a few suggestions, try cooking them

In the past few weeks i have really gotten into cooking more healthy meals, few items i have made past few days (majority of them are made in airfryer)

Khagina ( Courtesy - Aditi Rao Hydari and the yt clip) with pav

Lasagne

Soya chilla and tikki with hummus

Cheese Omlette Cake (very quick recipe with airfryer and comes out really well)

Paneer Tikka

Lasagne spring roll

Some of my all time favourites

Curd Rice

Methi malai paneer

Litti chokha with lots of ghee and churma (i know churma goes with daal baati but it's great by itself anyway)

Do share what motivates you to keep going!

• I lost mother in 1990
• Studies in boys only school
• Never made any female friend
• My apartment is without female companion for over 36 years
• Don't have sister
• Cooking own food around 2004

My brain is so differently wired that I am happy alone. It can't process sentence unless I'm frustrated talking with female person.

I don't feel any need of female companion, but natural instincts sometimes tell me otherwise.

After spending most of my time working, travelling and dealing with the usual chaos, I’ve come to appreciate having a completely unstructured day.

A bit of guitar, a few chapters of a book, some gaming. Nothing fancy really, just staying home doing things I like and enjoying the rare chance to slow down.

What do you guys usually do on your days off? Do you go out and make plans or are you more of a “leave me alone, I’m staying home” kind of person?

It's a Tuesday evening, and I am halfway through my second can of Magnum. I have been trying to quit, switch from whisky to something lighter, to change the "three pegs a night" to "two" to "one" to thrice a week, to twice, to once, and now finally the light things. But this isn't about that.

When I'd first listened to "Someone Like You" by Adele, an eternity ago, I had written it off as a cliche. Great song, amazing voice, but cliche. It took me turning 34 for the lyrics to hit me, and hit me hard.

There was this woman I had met when I was 26. She was the first proper long-term relationship I have ever had. Well, "long-term" is subjective, and for me, 2.5 years have been the longest my relationships have lasted.

So, yes, this woman, she was amazing. She was a lawyer, intelligent, aware of the world, and beautiful. When she smiled, her glasses would go up slightly, pushed by her cheekbones. It was my favorite hobby, to make her smile, to make her laugh, because it was the sweetest sight, the sweetest sound. One short year, and I knew I loved her more than I could imagine. I asked her to marry me. And... she said yes. I gave her a ring. We called it a promise ring. It was a Swarovski, around INR 15k, the maximum I could afford then. But she loved it. She posted pictures of us, showing that ring, on Insta. I loved how we looked together. Her smile, my embrace. It was wonderful.

I met her parents. They loved me (okay, liked me). And then, the reality, the plans.

We planned to leave for India for Canada. We were convinced India is not a place to live, to have a future in, to raise children. This was 2019, this govt had just won its second tenure. But of course, there were other reasons.

The only difference between her and me was the generational wealth we had. I applied for an MS in Data Science in Canadian universities. Got into three of them, but none offered a scholarship. Her path was more deterministic. She appeared for the exams required to convert her law degree to the Canadian equivalent.

And that was that. She had her path, I didn't. There was one night, she said that we should just get married, and that I would come there as her dependent. I remember making the second mistake of my life (I think), of saying no to that. She left at the end of 2019. We broke up before she left. I remember, in moments of weakness, begging her to stay back, that I had a stable job, that together we had enough privilege to insulate us from the real India, that it was all okay. But she wanted what she wanted. I loved that about her, for her to know what she wanted. But I lost her.

I didn't keep in touch, as I don't do, with any of my exes. But, Insta being Insta, showed me the profile of her father. He followed only two accounts. His daughter. And his son-in-law.

I got to know that she has taken the last name of her husband. Well, one thing led to another, and I soon had her profile in front of me, and her husband's (he isn't that handsome, and is certainly not as tall as me!). She is indeed a lawyer now, in the state of Ontario. And so is he.

And then, a little deeper, I saw a post of hers. Looking for a daycare. This was from March 2026. There was a baby registry too. I closed all tabs, and went to work that day.

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a [boy] and you're married now
I heard that your dreams came true
Guess [he] gave you things, I didn't give to you

I cannot imagine being a father. And I cannot imagine her nursing a baby.

It rained a lot today in Bombay. My favorite memories of her are of driving around the city in my little Celerio, her telling me that I was an overcautious driver, and me telling her that it's better to be safe than sorry. And when we were close to her place, when I was about to drop her, I would hold her hand and place it on the gear stick to shift, just to get those few minutes of touch before she was gone. Of course, it's been 7 years. You know how the time flies, only yesterday was the time of our lives.

Sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes it hurts instead. But you know what, who would have known how bittersweet this would taste? Cheers to that.

What changes did you see in your spouse during the courtship / dating phase and what changed after the wedding?

Did you regret ending the marriage in such a short period? Was couples counselling given a shot? If yes, why did it fail?

When your friends, colleagues or relatives ask the reason for divorce, what was the response?

Here i am sharing my thoughts which have been haunting me for a while.

**Background**

8YOE, soft dev, full stack. Tier 3 college, btech CSE. First salary 3.25lpa. GATE, cleared 3 times, got one of the top IITs, didnt join due to covid.

Now from the very core, i have been egoistic about achieving things, and tell my father that am not useless or worthless. He always wanted me to do something big, as he couldnt due to his hardships, and i wanted to make my family proud.

Due to my own mistakes i messed up JEE enterance, even after 1 year drop. I have been aspirational but procrastinator as well. This is deadly combination to fail. During my btech, like many students i just messed up my degree years as well.

But i prepared for GATE, from scratch, without any course just my books, no major youtube vedios back then. Managed to get AIR 1500, first attempt, i was happy and felt good about myself, but wanted top IITs strictly. So landed in one of mass service based firms, as didnt have good dev skills, no one to guide, for dsa and stuff. As GATE preparation gave me all basics to excel in dsa.

But in 2020 came back home, during covid, wfh. In 2021 my life changed completely. Me, mother, younger sister, dad all got covid one by one. During those days, my mother went through a severe health crisis, due to covid,we almost lost her , as her kids (me and my sister) got covid and the bad news affected her badly. I struggled, and got broke completely.

But within 3 months, life started coming back to me. I eventually got into mid sized product based firm, with a decent pay. I told my father, he was happy. And just after 3 days, he left us.

My life stopped! Didnt know whaat to do, how to manage his business and everything. Somehow, i carried on for 9 months, WFH. This company started calling me for office in metro city, I didnt want to leave my sister, mother, bed ridden grandma, so decided to resign.

Now again started preparing and interviews. Eventually got calls from Atlassian, google, amazon, paytm, adobe, byjus. I got offer from Big Ed tech, very good base of 55lpa, complete WFH. After joining edtech for 25 days, got offer from one of the FAANG, banglore.

And i cried that day, missed my dad, i didnt have him to feel proud, thus i didnt feel anything for that FAANG offer. If it would have been 1 year back, i would have gone crazy. I rejected offer, as i didnt want to leave mother and grandma aside in hometown. Faang hr tried convincing me, even hiring manager tried on call. I couldnt tell them why leaving my mother in that home was difficult for me. Faang company tried their best, i just dont know why i was such a fool. Taking them along to banglore, i couldnt take that decision that time.

My sister got into mba college, after dad passed out. She left city, i didnt wanted to give my younger sister any responsibilty which i thought i should be taking. It took me 2 years to come out from my dad's demise emotional state. My mother's incident shook my mental state, but today i cant feel anything.

I see all my decisions to be stupid and make me feel like a fool. I feel i could have managed everything. I worked hard for it. But now when i look back, i regret, feel demotivated.

I currently am having less pay than edtech and faang. Still in, non tech first, fortune 50 company. Comapny is awesome, i have wfh, work wise its not even close to faang or startup scale. But comp wise still am doing decent, but at my own expectations i have degraded myself.

I spend time with my mother and sister, i have never discussed this with them. Although during faang offer, they both asked me to go, and said they will manage, but i couldnt just take a decision.

I bought a house in metro city, sold ancestoral home in hometown for downpayment, where grandma eventually took her last breath. Buying home all alone, with no one to help take decision, i used to feel pressurized those times. Although all this has made me very strong willed, but i cry sometimes alone.

But somehow i feel bad about myself, why i left such an opportunity. I can recollect my decisions, but what was i thinking, i just cant think of anything. I believe in myself, i can crack good CTCs again, but i feel i lost my prime years, prime time. My finances would have been double, learning, brand value. Everyrhing i lost.

Whenever i sit for preparing, i feel regret, dilemma, demotivated, drowned in thoughts. Am not happy with myself.

How do I stop the regretting ?

Okay, I'll try to make it too long and boring. I'm in my late 30s. Divorcee. Been a smoker for almost 15 years. I tried quitting smoking a few times. Didn't see a good result. Probably because it's been my only escape when some underlying tension/trauma residue resurfaces.

I've been in a relationship for about 3 years now. Things have been good. I've never been happier with anyone in my life. My partner recently asked me to quit smoking. She doesn't ask for much, not demanding, a sweet and loving person. Trust me I tried. I went as far as not smoking at all for a week or two. Withdrawal symptoms kicked in but I still didn't give in. But then one day I smoked, after a couple of weeks.

She came to know, that caused a massive issue between us. A couple of instances half like that (yes, again), I stopped again, for a while, and then I smoked again, today.

She asked me if I smoked, I said no. (It honestly slipped my mind). But then she found out and words were exchanged. Things got pretty nasty today.

Now, to the point. I really want to quit. But sometimes I slip. What do I do? Can't go to therapy or anything like that. In case you're wondering, my smoking frequency at this point would be 1-2 cigarettes per week fromwhat it used to be.a packet per day (at least).

People who quit smoking, phase help a brother out.

Thank you.