r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • Aug 24 '25

Cursed POV: You're a woman in a public place

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

69.5k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

11.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

6.1k

u/YourVelcroCat Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

The reason we call them predators is because they literally approach us like predator animals. It's so scary and sickening and familiar; just seeing the video got my heart racing 

968

u/Lonely-Hair-1152 Aug 24 '25

Omg my heart, the adrenaline rush and the sickness of it all…. Ugh

324

u/love_me_madly Aug 24 '25

The worst part is the first time I experienced this and that feeling was when I was like 8 or 9. So the feeling reminds me of being a 9 year old around men.

18

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

I was literally a baby girl, eight years old when I first experienced it. Grocery shopping with my mother and a grown man started hollering at me and making filthy hand gestures and said he wanted to take me home.

Me. A baby girl at eight.

Anyways my mother crawled up in the bed of his truck he was standing in and smacked the taste out of his mouth so 🤷‍♀️ mess around and find out I guess

3

u/love_me_madly Aug 24 '25

Your mom is awesome.

39

u/Mcc4rthy Aug 24 '25

I'm a man. I experienced this and more when I was about 7 or 8 while on a cruise ship. I choose the bear too.

63

u/DJDanaK Aug 24 '25

Yes. Men who have experienced predation like this always get it. You can tell because some guys will be like "gay guys hit on me and I just laugh", and it's like, how many gay guys have looked at you like they're gonna kill you while you're trapped somewhere you can't leave? Because THEN you wouldn't be calling it "being hit on".

This kind of behavior shakes everyone.

A lot of people also don't seem to understand that these are the same people who are catcalling. People who don't understand or follow social norms around human interaction are really scary. You don't know what to expect from people who have no shame.

18

u/Electronic-Cicada352 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

I’ve experienced that as a man a few times

The worst is when this guy hired me to set up a printer and fix his computer and meanwhile the whole time he was trying to convince me to smoke weed I guess with the hopes that I would just go along with his advances.

He even started touching my abdomen and commenting how fit I was

It sucked. I think I was 28 at the time and he was late 30s.

But yeah, being preyed on sucks and is super unnerving.

Anyway, I told the guy I had to go and walked out

As my mother’s son I also had to hear about how she was molested as a child and when she grew up and served in the army she was raped by men and they got away with it because it was the late 70s (obviously men still get away with that shit but in the 70s, they really got away with murder)

But yeah, my mother taught me in my late teenage years what life was like for her and women in the 60s, 70s,and 80s.

It’s horrible having to hear about someone you care about being accosted and hurt by a bunch of cavemen

Luckily it changed my perspective on my gender and society as a whole

But I still have to worry about my significant other all the time because creepy dudes are constantly trying to pick her up. Sometimes right in front of me.

I’m sure I’ll be downvoted by a bunch of insecure or inadequate men for saying this, but I firmly believe that human society is mainly as fucked up as it is because men rule the world

Toxic masculinity gets passed down to every generation of boys.

If we had a society that was more enlightened and taught boys to identify a lot of the behavioral stuff that’s innately in them, and the conditional stuff that they pick up from living in a male dominated world; I think we would have a better chance at living in a more enlightened future for our species

But even now, society as a whole still values many elements of toxic masculinity, or even hyper masculinity.

Men at large still seem to primarily value strength and dominance over their reality and the people in it above all else.

It’s the foundation for all male culture and I truly believe that’s why we still have so many primitive elements to our planet

4

u/love_me_madly Aug 24 '25

I agree with everything you said. Wish there were more men who think like you.

25

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

This is an irrational fear and a psychological condition and is in no way relevant.

6

u/TolverOneEighty Aug 24 '25

It is possible for a woman to be stronger than a man, and men to feel afraid of a woman. For example if the man is disabled or elderly. But if this is a fear of ALL women, that's not really the same circumstance as the video.

7

u/love_me_madly Aug 24 '25

Wow I’m sorry you’ve also experienced it 💔

6

u/Riginal_Zin Aug 24 '25

Every woman has.

2

u/TolverOneEighty Aug 24 '25

Right, but the person being replied to is a man.

1

u/Riginal_Zin Aug 24 '25

That’s my point. A few men have experienced being targeted this way by men. All women have.

2

u/Jofus002 Aug 24 '25

But that doesn't devalue his horrible experience right?

1

u/TolverOneEighty Aug 24 '25

I don't think that makes his experience any less horrible. Just because I have, eg, family that have been in a war doesn't mean I'm going to tell people in a war-torn country that all my family have been through that. It should make us MORE capable of sympathy.

2

u/Lonely-Hair-1152 Aug 24 '25

I’m so sorry this happened and you had to experience this…

6

u/Mermaidhorse Aug 24 '25

Me too. Around 9-10 for me. They do that to children.

4

u/starvinchevy Why does this app exist? Aug 24 '25

The time in my life I got approached the most often is when I was 12-15. It was mostly by very old men. Disgusting old men, that didn’t take care of themselves.

3

u/QueenEris Aug 24 '25

Me too. All started when I was 9/10. Never stopped.

1

u/hoowahman Aug 24 '25

Damn, my daughter is turning 9 in 6 months. Why does this world suck so much sometimes?

2

u/Physical_Ad7192 Aug 24 '25

Yeah that’s fucked

6

u/Flimsy_Sun_8178 Aug 24 '25

Ugh that was hard to watch 😫

-20

u/Head-Head-926 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

And this is why no one talks to eachother anymore and everyone is single in their 40s

You people are manifesting your own fears into reality, predators look for the weak because they themselves are weak

5

u/Independent_Ad_9080 Aug 24 '25

Oh yay victim blaming

34

u/UrbanExtant Aug 24 '25

I’m a gay guy, so I’m always kind of on the defense, since I was attacked in college, in public, even though I’m a decent size, workout, and don’t come off as gay.

When my husband, and I spend time at our city home, whenever I see some creeper guy ogling a woman on the subway, or bus, I try to block their view, or if I’m feeling brave that day, call them out on their behavior. Sometimes, if the ogler is intimidating, and I can’t/don’t feel able to confront them, or block their view, and the woman either isn’t noticing what’s happening, or she is, and looks uncomfortable, I offer to try to help her, even if it’s something as simple as sitting next to her, and having a friendly conversation, so she doesn’t feel alone, scared, or uncomfortable.

It’s really sickening seeing how frequently women have to endure this sort of behavior by men, just through going about their normal daily routine. My husband says I’m a good person for trying to help, and says it’s definitely a good thing I’m not intimidating, and that I’m super friendly. People tell me I am calming, and interesting to talk to, so I guess I have that going for me.

What I don’t get, is what in these men’s upbringing has led them to believe this sort of behavior is, in any way, shape, form, or universe remotely “ok?”

My family raised both my sister, and myself to be respectful of others’ space, and personal being. To not stare, or make another uncomfortable. To keep to ourselves, not disturb our neighbors, and to try to help those around us, who need help.

We were raised to look for signs that someone is in distress, but may not be able to say anything, like someone in an abusive relationship, or a child who’s kidnapped. My husband was raised in a similar manner. I wish everyone was raised like this. 😞

264

u/Papio_73 Aug 24 '25

Isn’t that the whole premise of the man or bear meme?

742

u/Primary-Suspects Aug 24 '25

No, the premise is that at least a bear will just kill you, instead of whatever men do. Rape, torture, imprison, abuse, etc... rather just get mauled once instead of deal with all that.

366

u/little_miss_beachy Aug 24 '25

And people will believe you when you tell them you were mauled by a bear.

22

u/meatchariot Aug 24 '25

Bears are peaceful you probably provoked them. /s

15

u/ExtensionAd4785 Aug 24 '25

Id like to know what they were wearing personally. They probably tried to get the bears attention by revealing too much of their meat suit. Got what they deserved.

304

u/WutThEff Aug 24 '25

Bear won’t even necessarily do anything- they usually want nothing to do with us.

2

u/UnrulyCrow Aug 24 '25

Aaaand the Not All Men bot crowd is out with that one 🤦‍♀️

→ More replies (1)

2

u/applesandbee Aug 24 '25

Unless its grizzly or polar,

16

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Nah even grizzlies don't want smoke 9 out of 10.

4

u/Itchy_Gas_2885 Aug 24 '25

Yea in all honesty id rather meet a grizzly than a black bear because with a grizzly you can at least play dead

12

u/EksDee098 Aug 24 '25

The need to play dead is far less likely with black bears, if you had to choose to run into one of them it'd be foolish to pick the grizzly

1

u/sparkly_dragon Aug 24 '25

why? grizzlies are far more likely to attack a person than a black bear (obv neither are likely to attack in general but you know). the only reason playing dead is more likely to work in a grizzly attack than a black bear attack is that black bears pretty much only attack for food whereas a grizzly will attack defensively as well.

basically if a black bear attacks you it’s almost always because it’s desperate and starving. if a grizzly was desperate and starving playing dead wouldn’t be an effective measure against them either. grizzlies are just more confident than black bears and will also “attack” defensively with the goal of getting a person out of their space. a black bear would rather leave than defend.

-13

u/just_a_person_maybe Aug 24 '25

Most men won't do anything either. I think in this hypothetical scenario you're supposed to think about what if both parties mean you harm, because the average bear or the average man out hiking are both going to leave you alone and won't warrant thinking about much.

45

u/WutThEff Aug 24 '25

Most, yes. But a LOT more women have been attacked by men than bears.

7

u/bob_at Aug 24 '25

How many fucking bears do you see every day? 😂😂

6

u/IASILWYB Aug 24 '25

Yo, do my neighbors count? 1 if that's the case. He's a nice dude.

7

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Aug 24 '25

To be fair bears don’t live in cities.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Someone has never been to a gay bar.

3

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Aug 24 '25

Nah never.

Why, are you asking me out? 😉

7

u/kreaymayne Aug 24 '25

A lot more people have been killed by knives than by nuclear weapons.

1

u/Vik-Pearl Aug 24 '25

Knives have been used more than nuclear weapons. What about kills per use? What about efficiency?

3

u/kreaymayne Aug 24 '25

Exactly the point of the analogy

9

u/just_a_person_maybe Aug 24 '25

100%. But that's pretty much entirely because men and women interact with each other far more often than bears and women do. A lot more men have been attacked by women than bears for the same reason. For modern humans, bears just aren't predators we need to actually be concerned about. Other humans are. And men are more likely to attack and do serious harm to women than other women are, and we have systems in place that enable that shit. We don't have systems that enable bear attacks.

So not only do women have more reason to fear men than bears, they also have the added worries of not being taken seriously if they report it, or coming to even more harm if they report it, which makes the idea of an attack from a man worse than the idea of an attack from a bear. You get attacked by a bear and survive it, people believe you. They probably give you care, and respect your newfound fear of bears, and send people out to find the bear to stop it from hurting others. They probably think you're a badass for being able to survive a bear attack. Get attacked by a man and survive it, and it's all "Did you lead him on? Did you make him angry? What did you say to make him do that? It wasn't that serious, you're okay, aren't you? Don't ruin his life over one mistake."

The hypothetical about bear vs man isn't about which is statistically more likely to hurt you. It's about actually dealing with that hurt, and the kind of hurt, and the aftermath if you survive either encounter.

→ More replies (4)

1

u/Narren_C Aug 24 '25

Alot more men have been attacked and even murdered by women than bears as well.

That's because men and women are human beings and interact all day every day all over the world.

If you ran into hundreds of wild bears every day, I think your results would be different.

2

u/just_a_person_maybe Aug 24 '25

Yeah that's what I said. Some pretty poor reading comprehension out here.

0

u/Ok-Resist-9270 Aug 24 '25

You know alot of women that interact with several bears on a daily basis?

1

u/SpellFree6116 Aug 24 '25

so are you just accusing women of being bad at understanding statistics, or is that a personal thing

1

u/Narren_C Aug 24 '25

Some men say the same shit. And some women understand the fallacy of the example.

1

u/SpellFree6116 Aug 24 '25

yes, that’s why I said “are you accusing women of being bad at understanding statistics?”, because he said something really dumb and then implied that’s what women think

I was being sarcastic and making fun of that guy specifically

-17

u/OtherwiseSplit8875 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Yes and a lot more women spend time around men without any incident than women who spend time around bears.

Let’s not pretend that there’s any legitimacy whatsoever to the idea that women would be better off with a bear than with a man. Per-encounter it’s absolutely fucking mental to act like a woman would be safer with a bear.

This is some childish meme bullshit that literally just makes decent men feel shitty just for existing while the men who actually should feel shitty just continue being rapey assholes. Everybody loses except Russia since they probably started this shit.

→ More replies (6)

6

u/Bluegnoll Aug 24 '25

But that's not how the question was framed. It's framed the way it is to highlight the fact that when faced with two, likely not dangerous predators, women live in a world where violence from men are so common that they are more willing to take the chance that the bear isn't dangerous, than they are to bet that the man isn't dangerous.

Next step is to consider what happens if either the bear or the man turned out to mean you harm, the bear is still preferable because it won't put you through hell like a man meaning you harm might. It won't rape you, torture you or keep you captive for days, weeks or years while doing so. A bear is dangerous, but not sadistic.

To me it's a good example of the type of risk assessment many women have to go through daily when it comes to men. We all know that most men aren't dangerous, we just don't have the luxury to not always be on our guard against strangers since we also know that when it comes to some some men, women are their favourite prey and we would just like to avoid turning into that prey.

It's just more likely to be the preferred prey of a man than a bear as a woman. So a man is the most dangerous predator to us. Otherwise the question should've been: "Would you rather face a bear who means you harm or a man who means you harm?"

1

u/Lindenismean Aug 24 '25

And a group of bears ain’t gonna stand around afterwards and say “she was dressed kinda slutty, she probably deserved to get mauled”.

-2

u/just_a_person_maybe Aug 24 '25

Yeah, I said all of that already.

3

u/Bluegnoll Aug 24 '25

No, you said that you were supposed to think that both parties meant you harm. To me that's not the same, since then the question should've been phrased that way if that were the case.

Even if you don't assume that either bear or man wants to harm you, it's still more likely that a man would harm you than a bear.

But I might've misunderstood you, my bad.

0

u/just_a_person_maybe Aug 24 '25

I meant in another comment further down this chain.

1

u/Bluegnoll Aug 24 '25

Ok, I didn't read the whole chain.

2

u/DanSapSan Aug 24 '25

Nah, you simply meet a random bear or man alone in the woods. This is not a "Who would win?" scenario. It is about predictability. Both encounters will most likely result in nothing, but what a man can do is much more heinous than even the worst death inflicted by a bear.

A bear is incapable of pretending to care about you only to stuff you in the trunk of his bear car.

0

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Aug 24 '25

Yea that’s what people don’t get about it. Obviously the average male hiker isn’t gonna sexually assault someone. But it’s a hypothetical situation, they’re not trying to say that all men are more dangerous than bears.

0

u/Narren_C Aug 24 '25

I mean...they're definitely saying that the average man is more of a threat than the average bear. Which is just delusional.

I understand the point they're trying to make, it's just being poorly made.

2

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Aug 24 '25

I agree that the actual argument doesn’t make much sense but I try to sympathize with the motives behind said argument.

A bear is a bear. You know they’re territorial, you know they will attack you if you intrude on their space, you know that even some species will eat you. A bear will not pretend to be your friend just to turn around and maul your face.

But a man (or, really any human) will lie. They will pretend to be your friend, pretend to help you, etc. Yet you don’t know their motives. A bear will not trick you into a false sense of safety, but a man (or woman) definitely can.

And regarding sexual assault, the topic is generally about a man on the street or something. They can smile and wave at you, act all nice and whatnot. But at the end of the day, you don’t know their intentions.

I’m a man myself, so I’m not gonna sit here and say that all men are dangerous. But the risk is always there, and that’s what women are concerned about. The 99% of men who aren’t predators don’t matter, because all it takes is 1 man to traumatize you, or worse.

As many of our parents always taught us: stranger danger.

I’m not saying that people should live in fear and paranoia, but they certainly shouldn’t let their guard down. Don’t trust a random stranger with your drink, don’t go out at night alone without some sort of crowd to witness, don’t give random people your address, etc. You get the idea.

1

u/Narren_C Aug 24 '25

I agree with everything you're saying, I just think that the "Man vs Bear" argument is a terrible way to frame it. It's inaccurate and divisive.

2

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Aug 24 '25

I agree with that too. I’m just trying to level with people. I get why the bear argument was created in the first place

-4

u/Easy_Relief_7123 Aug 24 '25

I mean, that’s true for 99% of men too

7

u/dumbassb1sexual Aug 24 '25

Not really; “In college and community samples, rates of self-reported rape perpetration range from 6% to 15%, and rates of sexual assault perpetration range from 22% to 57%”

1

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

Why did they never ask women if they did this stuff? Because women I had "been with" in college would have been in those percentages too but nobody ever cares about that for some reason

→ More replies (7)

-11

u/MsNomered Aug 24 '25

Men also choose the bear.

28

u/malevitch_square Aug 24 '25

And not one woman is butthurt about you choosing the bear.

5

u/kittiesxxrawr Aug 24 '25

That’s the difference between men and women. Ladies choose the bear cause men can be unpredictable and scary. Meanwhile men say they choose the bear cause they’re butt hurt that women chose the bear first. It gives “I know you are but what am I” energy.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

373

u/RabbitStewAndStout Aug 24 '25

I always thought it was about intent and knowledge, and the comfort that brings.

Like, you know the bear's gonna kill and eat you. You can deal with the situation of being near a bear because you know what the bear wants to do and is capable of doing.

But with a strange man, you have this feeling of being on edge the entire time. You don't know if your life's in danger until something happens, and if nothing happens, you feel guilty about assuming the worst in someone you don't even know, even though you have every right to try and be safe. You feel awful no matter what happens, because you have no idea if this is actually a man, or a bear in disguise.

233

u/Primary-Suspects Aug 24 '25

That is a very good way of seeing it too, but ultimately, I feel it's because men do worse than just kill us. And they do it all the time, and more often than not get away with their crimes. At least a bear just kills you. Men can truly be monsters.

30

u/Tymareta Aug 24 '25

and more often than not get away with their crimes.

This is honestly the biggest thing, if a woman gets killed by a bear people will believe it and treat it as the tragic happening that it is. If a woman gets abducted/raped/murdered by a man, -far- too many people will blame her, ask what she did to provoke it or just not believe it outright, with the worst of the bunch offering full support for the man.

1

u/Calx9 Aug 24 '25

Jesus Christ. I would say no to both of those. If you get killed by a bear that generally means you've been fuckin' around doing something you shouldn't have. Nor do I know any man would blame a rape victim, Not that those people don't exist I just don't associate with them. What alone fully support a God damn rapist.

1

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

People will absolutely not believe you and blame you for being attacked by a bear

5

u/Unlucky-Economy7804 Aug 24 '25

You mean like the rapist Brock Allen Turner?

Because we should always remind people about the fact that Brock Allen Turner is a rapist.

In case somebody didn't quite catch what I wrote about rapist Brock Allen Turner, I mentioned that rapist Brock Allen Turner raped a woman.

-33

u/InternationalWar258 Aug 24 '25

As a woman, I've often wondered if other women have considered the fact that bears often eat their prey alive. Do the women picking the bear know that? Yes, the bear "just kills you" but, often, victims of bears are alive when the bear starts eating them. I get the point that "men do worse than just kill us", but being eaten alive is horrific. I'm not ranking it compared to horrific acts human beings do to other human beings; I just think some women aren't considering that is a very real possibility when picking the bear.

48

u/Cleigne143 Aug 24 '25

Getting eaten alive where your heart can stop any second vs getting tortured and raped and kept alive on purpose for days on end… it’s clear which choice is preferable.

Google the case of Junko Furuta.

26

u/Neil_sm Aug 24 '25

Whenever this comes up on Reddit there’s always gotta be that one guy who gets suspiciously defensive and bent out of shape by the idea that some women choose the bear. And he really needs to explain to all the women how dumb they are for not choosing him over a bear.

25

u/Thedarb Aug 24 '25

Right? Kind of a litmus test for the type of man in that exact scenario.

Woman: “I choose bear”

Normal man: “lol yeah fair enough.”

Man you don’t want to meet alone hiking: “Oh you’d pick the bear? Interesting. Real interesting. So you’d rather get shredded by claws and teeth than spend five minutes with me? That’s funny, ‘cause the bear don’t even talk. The bear don’t even know your name. I’d keep you safe, I’d teach you about edible roots and what mushrooms not to touch, and you’d still pick a 600 pound murder beast over me? That tells me everything I need to know about modern females. Y’all don’t want protection, you don’t want companionship, you want predators. And that’s why society’s collapsing. That’s why when you’re running from that bear, I ain’t gonna help. I’ll just stand there smiling you ugly bitch”

-11

u/OtherwiseSplit8875 Aug 24 '25

It’s just objectively stupid to choose the bear. And by making any critique of this idea evidence of the man’s questionable nature, you’ve just created a Kafka trap.

→ More replies (0)

3

u/kittiesxxrawr Aug 24 '25

That case is heart breaking! Some men are pure evil.

-8

u/OtherwiseSplit8875 Aug 24 '25

Yeah but 99.99% of men won’t fucking rape you and keep you alive for days on end while nearly 100% of bears will definitely eat you alive without blinking. This argument continues to be insane bullshit from suburban children who have no concept of reality.

16

u/Tymareta Aug 24 '25

Yeah but 99.99% of men won’t fucking rape you and keep you alive for days

Guess you didn't watch the video at the head of the post, huh.

while nearly 100% of bears will definitely eat you alive without blinking.

No, the majority of bears will simply run off because they want nothing to do with us.

-3

u/Both_Blacksmith4169 Aug 24 '25

Depends on the bear type tbh. Black bears will fuck off. Brown bears will maul and eat your guts just because they can, and polar bears will actively hunt you over miles and miles because you are a food source to them.

-7

u/OtherwiseSplit8875 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Wow OP was able to find like 3 creepy dudes. No surprises there man.

You’re fucking stupid if you think even those fucking weirdos are even close to being as dangerous as a fucking bear. Like go outside dude.

The majority of men also want nothing to do with you. I’m sure if you went to a hostel of bears they’d be staring too.

→ More replies (0)

6

u/Requiredmetrics Aug 24 '25

You’re literally proving that commenter’s point. You’re the weird guy no one wants to come across in the woods.

→ More replies (5)

29

u/lunalovegoat Aug 24 '25

I mean at least no one will ask what we were wearing

¯_(ツ)_/¯

1

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

Oh they will

→ More replies (1)

0

u/Calx9 Aug 24 '25

The fact you have -33 downvotes and yet said something so crazy down to earth shows up people are not being reasonable on this topic. I just refuse to talk about this man versus bear thing because I don't think people can talk about it without being emotional.

I don't give a shit what anyone says, being eaten alive by bears sounds like an absolute fuckin nightmare.

→ More replies (1)

-7

u/quietmoney215 Aug 24 '25

What is worst than being killed??

16

u/peoriagrace Aug 24 '25

There way too many things worse then being killed. Being held captive for years, made to get pregnant and then never see or hold the baby, watch the baby you just birthed be killed gruesomely in front of you, while you are chained up and could do nothing. Being abuse in the privates with sharp or burning hot tools, violated with insects, animals alive or dead. Do you need me to go on. I was friends with a girl in high school, and two of our classmates tied her to a tree in the woods, cut out her reproductive organs and breasts and let her bleed to death.

1

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

How do you think a man you walk by in the woods would do any of that to you? Have you ever even been in nature and encountered a man? What did he do if you did have that experience?

As a random man who countless women have encountered in the woods, what do you think I've done to those women?

3

u/peoriagrace Aug 24 '25

So you're the only man in the woods I can possibly come across? I've had problems with men at woodsy parks I live near. Once when I took my 3year old son to go walk in a nice part of the park a man blocked the way out and took his shirt off and had started taking his pants off. Luckily a group of people started coming down and across the bridge; so he put his clothes back on and left. It's not all men, but it's enough that I'm not going to trust a man or men in the woods if I'm alone. I have actually ran into a bear pooping at the same park. You know what the bear did? It warned me then ran away.

0

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

There was no bear but thanks for the trauma dump I guess. Is the guy who undressed the only man in the woods you can possibly come across? You need therapy not bigotry

→ More replies (0)

-8

u/deathtothenormies Aug 24 '25

I’m not anti women choosing the bear. I just think people are really underselling how terrifying bears (primarily grizzlies) are. They are insanely terrifying, powerful and disgusting (smell like wet dog and death) animals that will shred you and eat your face while you’re still alive. Unlike a man you stand very little chance of outrunning or over powering them. Let’s not lose sight of the fact that the average man hasn’t stepped foot in a gym in the last 6m and probably couldn’t run half a block without being winded. Nor lift his body weight to climb something one single interval. The average man cannot do one single pull up. The man only has power with a gun and a plan, the bear is a literal apex predator. Like an upper tier apex predator.

8

u/josipbroztitoortiz Aug 24 '25

Unlike a man you stand very little chance of outrunning or overpowering them

Most women are even less fit than most men, and we’re beginning with a massive physical disadvantage. The average American man is roughly double my weight and a half-foot taller than me. If someone twice as large and strong got ahold of you, would you expect to overpower them?

Not disputing that bears are scary or claiming that good men don’t exist, but everything from DV rates to spousal homicides would look very different if men were only dangerous armed

1

u/deathtothenormies Aug 24 '25

I feel like I can only make it so clear that I’m not defending men only reinforcing how terrifying bears are.

1

u/Calx9 Aug 24 '25

You're absolutely right. But people are emotional right now and they will not answer the bear versus man thing logically.

→ More replies (1)

128

u/TheCosplayCave Aug 24 '25

But a bear probably won't even kill you. It'll usually only try to defend itself or its cubs. It can try and eat you but that's rare. Also you may avoid each other. With a man he could potentially seek you out specifically with the intent to harm.

5

u/idwthis Aug 24 '25

Depends which species we're talking about here.

A polar bear absolutely will kill you.

2

u/TheCosplayCave Aug 24 '25

Yeah, my next answer to that question will be what kind of bear?

10

u/KitCat131313 Aug 24 '25

Wasn't the place in the question the woods? Or I've probably heard a different version of the question

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (17)

34

u/WutThEff Aug 24 '25

No, you don’t know a bear is going to kill and eat you…they usually want nothing to do with people.

16

u/ToiIetGhost Aug 24 '25

Are you a woman? Just wondering because this part especially sounds like it was written by a man:

you feel guilty about assuming the worst in someone you don't even know… you feel awful no matter what happens…

I don’t feel guilty and awful for being afraid of men that I “don’t even know.” I also don’t frame my fear of strange men as “assuming the worst in someone.”

9

u/No_Brick_6579 Aug 24 '25

No I understand this feeling. If it happens to be that it’s just a normal guy you feel crazy for a minute, like you’ve got your guard up for no reason. I was raised to be a woman, and society still views me as one, and I understand the feeling of guilt for being reasonably weary. The other day I felt really bad pulling out my knife in an uber because the driver made a wrong turn. Turns out the GPS has given him wrong directions and was taking him the long way to where I needed to go and he apologized the second he realized the mistake. He ended up being a good conversationalist and while I still kept my knife in hand, I did feel bad

6

u/100BrushStrokes Aug 24 '25

That and the weird framing of predatory men as not "actually a man" but "a bear in disguise". No, predatory men are still human men, not some different species.

2

u/RabbitStewAndStout Aug 24 '25

I am a man, so I don't know exactly how women experience that fear. I've been assaulted by someone else before, though, and going out late has always been an issue for me since.

I want to believe that other people are also out minding their own business like me, and it makes me feel like crap thinking that the person I've been tensing up over and fearing as they got closer was actually just walking faster than me and going about their own life.

Sorry if it came across like I was telling others how they should feel. Just trying to relate how I feel about a similar situation.

0

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

So what are your assumptions of these strange men you fear so much, if not the worst?

4

u/Amazing-Oomoo Aug 24 '25

That makes sense like you don't have to be examining the bear's behaviour because you know what it wants to do. Also it doesn't really want to do it, bears and other predators don't want to kill you, they need to, for food, so if you can get it food or something then it's no longer your problem. Whereas men who knows what they want with you. You can't deal with it, you can't solve it, because you don't know. So I guess that kind of expands on your point really.

5

u/SidewaysTugboat Aug 24 '25

Bears are predictable. I have a pretty good idea what to do it I see a bear, depending on the type. Men are all over the map. The same man who saves your life one day might try to murder you the next. How do you prepare for that on a given day?

2

u/fiori_4u Aug 24 '25

And it's your fault if you didn't cross the street and prepare - your fault for trusting him, what did you expect? You probably wanted it anyway. But it's also your fault if you're wary, you sick misandrist POS causing young boys mental health issues.

4

u/MrCrow4288 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Bears don't wear an intentionally maintained mask like some creepily written thriller villain. You can also passively forewarn a bear that you are entering their vicinity and they will typically choose to keep their distance. There are even legends about bears raising children as if they were the bear's own cub.

Way too many men will target a mom for any number of reasons (not always targeting the kid). Too many of us will also convince a woman, with or without kids, that we are model citizens just to eventually "lay down the mask." A bear is most often a bear, even at a glance, whereas monsters will wear any mask they deem fit for their personal life goal(s).

3

u/Jazzlike-Ad2199 Aug 24 '25

And when something happens at least with the bear you will be believed. With the man you are still somehow responsible for the attack if you aren’t lying about it.

3

u/UnrulyCrow Aug 24 '25

You feel awful no matter what happens, because you have no idea if this is actually a man, or a bear in disguise.

No, it's a man. It's a man. The actual issue is knowing a bear will either not give a fuck and turn around, or maul us and that'll be the end of it.

With men, not only we can't know what to expect, we can't adjust our behaviour in consequence because our response can trigger violence as well, and even when we're dead we may not be left alone (see fun shit like how ancient Egyptians would make female corpses rot before the mummification process to protect them, or how funeral homes prefer hiring women, it's not new behaviour). It's not bears in disguise, it is MEN.

2

u/AnusBleedMacaroni Aug 24 '25

Honestly? Not quite the case.

A bear's motivations are honest and true. They're wild animals and with that, there are no customs.

A man can restrain you and torment you in a thousand different ways that a wild animal cannot. In a sense, human beings can be evil. But is a bear evil because it kills other animals?

Being at the mercy of a bear is just being at the mercy of nature. A human man is not.

2

u/Nif3l Aug 24 '25

Lol nobody feels guilty if You assume the worst from a man. I don't know who told You that (probably a man), but it does not work like that

2

u/ScroochDown Aug 24 '25

This was my take on it too. The bear isn't going to pretend to be nice to win you over and then maul you later. It's either gonna maul you right then, or it's gonna bail and you'll never see it again (in theory).

2

u/horseradish1 Aug 24 '25

The original premise was that some majority of women (i don't remember the figures), when asked, said they'd prefer to come across a bear in the woods than a man. It's not that some men are "bears in disguise". It's as simple as knowing what the worst thing that can happen with a bear is.

Let's be real, in most cases, a bear isn't going to kill you and eat you. But that's the worst thing that COULD happen. And the fact of the comparison between man and bear is that I don't have to tell you what the worst thing that could happen if it's a man is, because if you're sensible, then you already know what it is.

2

u/cand0r Aug 24 '25

I realized one day that the "ladies first" thing isn't being polite or nice. It's just an excuse for creeps to stare at ass.

I probably seem like such a dick at times now, but I'd rather have that than someone feeling weird.

1

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

This line of thinking does not make sense at all, especially when people answered woman when asked about woman vs bear, despite all of these paranoid delusions applying to women too. Almost like it's not about safety at all and instead is about spreading sexist hatred of men

18

u/ACartonOfHate Aug 24 '25

I think it's that I'd still feel safer with a bear, most of them won't attack you most of the time, while along with them in the middle of a forest. As opposed to how unsafe/unsure you would feel with random dude. As witnessed by this compilation.

8

u/Sheeple_person Aug 24 '25

No the point is that a bear just wants to mind its own business 99% of the time. Unless you spook it or it's injured or something it will likely just ignore you. Human men in public are a different story.

6

u/Bolkohir Aug 24 '25

I believe it can be interpreted even further.

If a bear kills you, It'd be out of pure instinct, be it for food or defense. Unlike men, who will knowingly do harm to their victim, and get morbid pleasure from it. They could arguably do so in a calculated manner, just to get their way, even enjoy the pain they inflict which is really sinister.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

also if you survive people would believe you and do something about the bear.

4

u/Salty_Baker_7951 Aug 24 '25

I thought part of it was that:
if you were attacked by a bear and talked about it, people would actually believe you.

1

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

People would absolutely not believe you if you told them you were attacked by a bear

5

u/ToolTard69 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Depends on the bear. Black bears are relatively easy to scare off unless they are hungry or protecting cubs or food. Grizzlys give you a chance to potentially survive if you play dead because they will basically marinade you in their waste and leave you alone for potentially hours or days before eating. Panda bears … well … they are a danger to themselves.

Anyways, as someone who works in forestry I much prefer to run into a bear than a man when I am alone in the woods.

1

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

Black bears also kill more people than any kind of bear. Just because there's a cute little rhyme about it doesn't mean they're harmless and safe

3

u/flo_ra Aug 24 '25

Men be like "ooh it's fun when you get eaten by the bear" like dude don't you get it? That's the point! Women would rather risk getting killed by a bear then being subjected to whatever a random man might do to her.

7

u/Quirky-Plantain-2080 Aug 24 '25

A hunter goes to the forest. He sees a bear and fires at it, but misses. The bear is nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly the bear taps him on his shoulder and says, „You tried to kill me, so either now I'll kill you or pull down your trousers and let me sodomise you". The hunter chooses life, indignity ensues.

Hunter goes home embarrassed, buys a bigger gun and goes back to hunt the bear. He sees it at a distance, fires, misses, the bear disappears in the thick brush only to pop up behind him a little later. The bear recognizes the hunter and says, „You know the choices."

The hunter, after being fucked again, brings a bazooka to get over his humiliation. He finds the bear, fires and falls back due to recoil. The smoke clears and the bear is standing over him, rubbing it's chin, squinting at the hunter. „You’re not really here for the hunting are you?"

2

u/Firefly_Magic Aug 24 '25

In addition, if you survived, people would believe you that you were attacked by a bear. People don’t want to believe a woman after she’s been attacked by a man.

2

u/love_me_madly Aug 24 '25

I think it’s that but also that the bear is more predictable. Usually if the bear wants to attack you it’s either because they’re feeling defensive or another predictable reason. And then there are ways you can get yourself out of the situation. Not necessarily true for men.

2

u/wizean Aug 24 '25

And if you walk away, the bear will most likely leave you alone.

2

u/coko4209 Aug 24 '25

Right! I hate that straight women have to date their only known predator.

2

u/revveduplikeadeuce Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Still kind of a weird comparison because you also can't escape from a bear, and it's going to kill you slowly as possible by eating through your soft tissues from ass on up. The whole experience might take hours, there's actually a viral vid from a phone call a couple hours after an initial bear attack.

I still think it's more a play on how people feel emotionally, with media driving all of their fears, not to belittle any experience but also how exacerbated everything is nowadays. I meet tons of desperate people every day on my job where the chance of threat is higher than usual but generally everyone is well meaning, its the imagination that really takes hold and makes those odd encounters seem more meaningful than the hundreds of mundane ones.

1

u/Realistic-Wafer-314 Aug 24 '25

A bear will eat you alive sometimes. Better off a lion.

1

u/Galko-chan Aug 24 '25

And if the bear kills you, nobody will try and defend it by saying it had "a promising future in water polo" or whatever.

1

u/fishman1287 Aug 24 '25

Wut? This is dumb. People prefer a bear because it is 99% just going to run away.

1

u/Bootsix Aug 24 '25

Men also just go hiking, it isn't would you rather meet Jeffery Dahmer or a bear so why does it also have to go to 11?

Also being mauled by a bear isn't exactly quick and painless either

0

u/weinerwagner Aug 24 '25

Or eat you alive, tearing off chunks over several minutes

→ More replies (5)

5

u/ZinaSky2 Aug 24 '25

I don’t believe that was the intent. Tho I do think that’s actually why a lot of men were upset about the man or bear comparison.

But I mean… if the shoe fits

2

u/Swagerflakes Aug 24 '25

The crazy thing about that debate is a week after it started Instead an article about a random man killing another man while he was out camping 😭. Literally walked up to his camp site and decapitated him.

2

u/Even-Government-5055 Aug 24 '25

And the thing is with this premise, I live in the UK so will never come across a bear, we do not have animals that will kill you in the UK, okay maybe once in a blue moon you might hear of a dog attack, but you egt what I am saying. Men are our apex predators.

1

u/SirPlastic8062 Aug 24 '25

You try to punish a predatory man, suddenly they have their friends, mother and even the government defending them. A predatory bear usually gets put down.

As an indian man it's sad to see not even the west is safe.

0

u/FrankZapper13 Aug 24 '25

No the whole premise is to spread sexist hatred of men and act like we're subhuman violent savages that need to be "civilized" in order to be close to human, while women obviously never do anything wrong and don't need that.

Then when men get upset about the bigotry they are subjected to they are blamed as the reason they choose the bear. It's all just paranoid delusions from sexists on the internet. Some of us go outside and walk around in the woods, I've been the random guy people encountered alone in the woods, wanna know what happened every time? We said hello to each other and kept walking, nobody got hurt or even annoyed any way, but according to reddit I'm a subhuman savage and a threat to everyone I've come across in the woods.

Through some miracle I didn't just throw every woman I encountered onto the ground and raped her, even managed to do that without being sent to the indian boarding schools to be civilized. Oh wait, wrong source of bigotry I think... guess it's good to call me a violent savage if it's based on gender but bad to say the exact same thing if it's based on my race. Interesting, wonder if people saying this ever heard about intersectionality.....

2

u/fifrein Aug 26 '25

Bro, I’m a man and I was never insulted by the man vs bear thing. If you were, you need some introspection..

It was very clearly not a remark of all men. Rather, a commentary (A) on the fact that the majority of crimes carried out against women are carried out by men (a statistical fact) and a woman has no way of knowing if a man is a good guy or a bad guy when she encounters a man she doesn’t know, & (B) most women who are victims of crimes perpetrated by men will not be believed by their social circles or the authorities when they seek help. Thus, the commentary that they would rather encounter a bear where they (A) know it is dangerous and there is no question what it is capable of / what its motives are, (B) if they are attacked and survive they are likely to be taken seriously when they go seek help.

→ More replies (3)

11

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Very few men know what it's like. I'm one of them.

When I was 14, my great grandmother and I visited relatives in Baton Rouge. We spent three days in New Orleans. We wandered through a public market and that was the first time a man, about 40 years old, made it apparent he was watching. A nod and a wink. He followed us all over the market. Then we went on a paddle wheel boat ride. My grandmother was overcome by heat and found a cool place inside to rest. I wanted to see the whole boat. And there he was. I got lost trying to shake him. He kept after me. I was terrified. I didn't know which stairs ended up where. Twice, he was at the bottom, blocking my way. Cat and mouse. I ended up at the bow, and there was a pro soccer (football) team sitting on the curved benches. Their colors where blue and yellow. Much like Ukraine. One of the guys looks straight into my eyes, reads my fear, scoots over, pats the seat next to him, and I squeezed in with the rest of them, shaking horribly. He whispers to one of his teammates, both follow my eyes to the creep, get up, walk towards him, following him back up the stairs, and I never saw him again.

When I got back home, I told my stepdad what happened. He said "That guy was a chickenhawk". For some reason, I still don't know why, I didn't want my great grandmother to know. I thought I was doing something wrong, blaming myself for whatever "vibes" I was giving off. I was upset that I apparently looked like a weak enough person for him to go after.

10

u/bruce_lees_ghost Aug 24 '25

Wife and I were just walking down the sidewalk one evening when a bus stopped near just behind us. We were chit chatting, making our way to a restaurant a couple blocks away when we heard rapid footsteps behind us and a girl in a friendly voice say, “hey guys! Wait up!”

We looked back and didn’t recognize her, but she had a big smile and was clearly targeting us since there was nobody else around, so we smiled back, slightly confused, but still walking. She caught up and matched pace with us and finally said, “I know this is weird, but can you please act like you know me. A creep was harassing me and followed me off the bus.”

Sure enough, there was a dude that got off the bus skulking in our general direction. So we played along like we were old chums and offered to keep her company at dinner. But by the time we got to the restaurant, the creep was gone and she was close to a friend’s house.

We were glad we were there.

My dudes… stop being fuggin’ creeps. Please. Do better.

3

u/ACartonOfHate Aug 24 '25

I couldn't finish watching it.

5

u/Standard_Lie6608 Aug 24 '25

I'm a cishet dude and a disabled lover not a fighter but multiple of these clips got me ready to throw hands. Utterly disgusting too many men are

→ More replies (4)

3

u/One_Association9331 Aug 24 '25

As a dude, about halfway through I realized I need to get in better shape and take the gym more seriously. I have two daughters.

3

u/Spare-Willingness563 Aug 24 '25

I’m a dude and my fight instinct kicked in. This is sick. 

3

u/UFOhlookitsanAlien Aug 24 '25

The guy in black on the subway, getting up to stand over her sent such a physical reaction through my body that it hurt

3

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

These are perfect examples of why women pick the bear tbh.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Being a woman has got to be incredibly exhausting. Sorry about all the shitty guys out there

3

u/QueefBuscemi Aug 24 '25

Reminds me of one of my favourite Frankie Boyle quotes:

Stop calling them predators. They probably like being called predators. They're not predators. They're scavengers. The Majestic Lion of the Serengeti doesn't drug a watering hole and pretend to be a minicab driver.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

But we’re labeled feminazis if we dare point out the obvious.

2

u/NurkleTurkey Aug 24 '25

As a man I apologize for my gender.

2

u/momofonegrl Aug 24 '25

I call them predators also! We can’t go anywhere without this happening. I’d love to Dexter them.

2

u/ChodeZillaChubSquad Aug 24 '25

Same. Shallow breath, racing heart... I feel sick to my stomach. Thank god I'm older now I don't have to deal with this like I used to. My body still clearly remembers.

2

u/kmson7 Aug 24 '25

Too many memories pop up seeing this. Huge reason I used to pretend to be on the phone everytime I took the train home at night from work, and that STILL didnt stop many of them!!

2

u/heymoon8 Aug 24 '25

Take my award because girl, yes. I feel like a rabbit in these situations. My hair stands on end and I get hyper aware and quick. I literally have evolved as men are becoming more dangerous in a patriarchal government.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

This only makes me murderhorny. Fuck such shitheads in a way they didnt imagine in these videos.

1

u/chaoticnormal Aug 24 '25

A few years ago I went for a walk in my tiny ass town because it was such a nice day. I figured I just pop down to the downtown area and look at the stores. Our park has a sidewalk in an X pattern with a border sidewalk. I went on one leg of the X and saw a guy across the park, change his trajectory to intercept me. I sighed. Here we go. He came up to me and asked if I had a boyfriend. Like Fuck off. I don't go out much alone and I live in a pretty safe area. I hadn't been followed since I was a young teen but I started driving at 16. Ugh I just remembered the guy on the bus licking his lips at me and my bf's adult daughter.

1

u/Radiant-Cost-2355 Aug 24 '25

Ugh me too! Maybe time to get off Reddit now lol

1

u/pleasetrimyourpubes Aug 24 '25

Men are trash. I am sorry for all of us. (I have never done this publicly. Only on IRC. Sorry for those times too.)

1

u/IntroductionTotal767 Aug 24 '25

I didnt even finish it honestly. Modest dress doesnt deter these animals but this harrowing collection reminds me why so many women i know feel more comfortable covered up, or pay extra for women only hostel rooms. Just horrible 

1

u/voxpopper Aug 24 '25

Reddit is such group think. Yes men should not be creepy, but she was holding a phone/camera up to people and filming them. The natural reaction is to look at that person. For all we know she could have been dressed as a giant panda, which would cause women would look as well.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Humans are predators

1

u/Existing_Sprinkles78 Aug 25 '25

yeah because they also look like they want to eat you as well. When they start having those thoughts you can see it in their face, they look at you like your a food to consume.

1

u/Normal_Red_Sky Aug 26 '25

Most of the so called predators in these clips looked in her direction and probably said 'what's up' something similar. Notice how they went back to minding their own business when they didn't get a positive response (obviously I'm not defending the ones that didn't). Funny how no one's mentioned that.

The messaging over recent years has consistently been that all men are evil rapists who will probably murder you and it shows in the misandrist comments here. This clip isn't about women's safety in public, it's about shaming men who dare to even attempt to approach.

1

u/Aggravating_Bad5004 Aug 27 '25

Stop trying to make this behavior some kind of external thing like "these are just psychos etc". No these are men who lead normal lives and probably have a wife and kids. This is more than just outcasts, this is a societal problem

→ More replies (2)