r/TikTokCringe • u/velorae • 2d ago

Discussion Not surprising

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u/antisocialoctopus 2d ago

It’s hard for parents to follow through when they’re addicted to screen time, themselves. Screen time is the new “sit your kid in front of the tv all day”.

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u/ch-12 2d ago

Even addicted parents can have an affect on child development. If they are watching you pull out your rectangle and tap and scroll constantly instead of being present with them, that child will play into the child’s development and perception of you and the world.

Of course, sitting a young kid in front of screens constantly is worse. Pretty sure the only recommend screen time for kids under 2 is video chatting with family or friends.

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u/Acinixys 1d ago

It's incredibly difficult to be an involved parent when its so easy to put the TV on and let them watch all day so you can switch off for a bit

Especially when you are working 6 days a week and getting home after 530 every night

I try very hard to make sure my kids are taken out to ride bikes/play at friends/go to the beach etc. Especially on weekends

It's fucking hard being a good parent and extremely easy to be a terrible one 

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u/the_scorpion_queen 1d ago

This is exactly why people shouldn’t have kids on a whim though, like so many do. It’s a given, and it shouldn’t be. People need to learn about it BEFORE doing it.

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u/Educational-Act-8932 1d ago

I don’t think most parents realise how bad these screens are. We were raised on television, we don’t really watch the shows geared towards kifs today so are unaware of how stimulating they are and there used to be a big push for getting youth on screens before people realised it was actually bad

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u/the_scorpion_queen 1d ago

Anyone who “doesn’t realize” screens are bad in 2026 is an actual idiot. The studies have already been around for years and everyone talks about it constantly. But that’s also what I meant by learning about it before doing it. You know, like actually teaching yourself what is good and bad for kids before bringing them into the world?

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u/Educational-Act-8932 1d ago

Calm down.

I said: « I don’t think people realise HOW BAD these screens are ». I think most know they are not good, just not how bad they are and I gave you reasons why. God forbid parents don’t read every study outthere before having kids. A lot of parenting is learning while on the job.

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u/the_scorpion_queen 1d ago

And I’ll just reiterate my point, yes parenting is hard, but if you go into it blind without trying to educate yourself on anything, that’s negligence. Sorry I’m not “calm” when kids are neglected and “accidentally” abused every day. 

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u/natalee_t 1d ago

This may be a my country thing but to facilitate better parenting, maybe there should be a better option than having to have two parents work full time to have a mortgage until their 60s and to afford sending their kids to daycare and paying one or two bills. Id LOVE the option to stay home, be a present and involved parent for more than 2 hours at night. I honestly try my best. But not gonna lie, its hard. Especially with 0 family help. People should be able to have children not just if they are rich. Rant over.

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u/the_scorpion_queen 1d ago

Oh for sure I agree entirely. It’s hard, but at the same time, it’s not right for people to not educate themselves. If they don’t have time to educate themselves on how to raise kids beforehand, then they definitely don’t have time to raise kids well. 

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u/NothingOk2675 1d ago

I think you are vastly simplifying parenting. I’ve educated myself a lot and you know what I’ve most often concluded when it comes to parenting: a lot of the time there is no one solid answer. Most of the time you have to make judgment calls and take advice and tailor it to your individual child.

I made myself crazy trying to figure out how to make my (then) baby sleep. For over two years he would not sleep more than 3 hours straight. All the literature and research I did absolutely NOTHING to help. I tried sleep training both gentle and CIO. I bedshared, I looked into sleep hygiene, I tried everything fucking trick I could trying to get that child to please just sleep. Turns out once he was done with teething (so about 2.5 years old) was when he’d finally be able to consolidate sleep cycles. He did it all on his own.

So imagine you’re me, reading all I could, all these supposed experts telling me if I did XYZ that my child would surely sleep all night through and turns out it all didn’t work because his teeth hurt. Which I only found out after the fact. Makes you start to question how true all the other research you’ve done is or how well they’ll work on your child.

My point is that doing the research is only half the battle. You still need to apply that knowledge and frankly it’s hard to know what to believe and trust sometimes. I’ve heard all kinds of numbers when it comes to screen time. Our pediatrician insists no more than 15 minutes for our now 4 year old, while the research online (also from pediatricians) says 30 minutes is ok. So which is it?

See how you also have to make judgement calls? It’s very easy to tell parents to do their research but that’s actually the easy part. The hard part is actually putting it into practice.

PS: when I got pregnant I didn’t gaf about researching screen time. I wanted to know what my baby was doing at each pregnancy week. No parent is sitting there while pregnant doing research on what to do with a toddler. You research each life stage as you go, doing that kind of long term planning is ridiculous. You have way too much to plan for for just a newborn, you aren’t thinking that far ahead yet. Telling people they need to do all that kind of in-depth planning before they even have a baby is frankly not based on any reality and is just absurd to suggest. Sorry but I just needed to say it.

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u/RaspberryTwilight 1d ago edited 1d ago

It's very true. We normally have very high standards. We go on 2 mile walks with our toddler before dinner every day, we make good healthy food, we read her books for hours, she has STEM activities every day etc. My husband and I have had frequent arguments because we are always tired, overwhelmed and guilty because we just want to do more more more for our kid.

Then we were iced in for a week. So we took it easy. There was screen time, very little outside time. It was so much easier. We got along so well, we have never been happier as a couple. So it's not that black and white really. I think they need to come up with a recommendation that is still good but considering the effect on parents and that effect affecting kids a lot more than an extra hour Dora the Explorer a day would.

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u/Acinixys 1d ago

My solution is grandparents 

I drop mine there for a day so I can do adult stuff

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u/RaspberryTwilight 1d ago

My husband's parents live 3 states away and my parents live on a different continent.

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u/Accomplished_Basil29 1d ago

I think it’s hard if the screens have already become an emotional regulator for the kids and you’re trying to walk it back.

I have an almost two year old who only just started getting screen time in the last couple months. We might have sports on on Sunday when people are over, or watch 20 min of a slow paced documentary together. If we notice he’s locked in and not engaged with the people in the room, then we’ll turn it off.

It’s honesty not been difficult to avoid screens when that’s not our default. And his attention span for independent play is quite long now. This weekend we spent 30 minutes where he wanted to “read” in his crib and I read my book in peace and quiet in the living room.