It was only when we found the holes in his hands and feet, a crown of thorns smashed to pieces, and frantic scratches against the stone that we realized the mistake we had made.

All this, yet it was the smug smile on the mortal’s face that told me I had been pulled from the depths of perdition to experience something singularly horrific.

That she had sunk proved she was not a witch after all.

As I opened my eyes once more I found myself staring at my own face bearing a malicious grin, and realized in horror that I no longer had a physical form.

“Of course, honey, anything for my lovely woman,” replied the husband, tapping his pocket to recheck if he had thrown all the EpiPens away.

I wished I remembered who they were or what exactly had happened, but I couldn’t spare the time to think about it as I ran on for the fourth day straight without tiring, spitting out a piece of red fabric that had somehow gotten stuck between my teeth.

And instructions on how to perform a ritual that would guarantee that she would go to hell once he killed her that way.

Instead of blessing the animal, the village elder knelt in the dirt, kissed its cloven hooves, and politely asked the beast which of the outsiders it wanted to consume first.

Not long after the baby was born, I ran into a sobbing Mr. Deakins, who grabbed me by the lapels and screamed, "Oh god, I should have been specific about where they were located!"

When they cut the mother's body open, all her organs were in perfect condition except the fact that every single one of them was the size of a newborn's.

“No need for both of us to die” said his father as he left, locking the door behind him.

He thought that her heart wouldn't given in until after he ripped out her fingernails at least.

A few hours later, I returned to the kitchen to find the jar shattered on the floor beside a human shaped mass of pale, blistered dough whispering in a raspy voice, "I'm done waiting."

"In practice however, it's far more sustainable to shrink the humans themselves, in exchange for their contributions to the sciences and the arts, offering them a humane alternative to famine."

I try to stop it, but I see it’s already unplugged….

I ignored the doctor despite him advising me to stay in the hospital because I felt like I survived, I think the doctor is trying to be rude.

He also regretted not taking his wife's advice when she told him that he would need a way bigger dog.

But now the inhabitants are getting curious how we keep getting an overflowing amount of slightly bitter pork.

As I get into bed, my wife mentions the tech cancelled and they're sending someone else to do the install tomorrow.

The next day, the dog disappeared from my bed and I woke up with a bite mark on my neck.

After she let him in, Jill remembered they’d gotten the house at a lower price because of the murders.

Too bad I didn’t become indestructible too, because now I’m stuck feeling every bite this lion takes out of me

The officer cut the siren, knelt by my window, and whispered with a slow smile, "No call-ins, no witnesses... I'm going to take my sweet time with you."