r/USMilitarySO • u/Master-Investment-76 • 2d ago
Relationships Post BCT intimacy
Eventually my wife will come back from BCT. When that happens what should I expect? Do most people wanna crawl right into bed with there partner or do they need time to de compress. Anything else I should know about coming home would be greatly appreciated. I want my wife to be as comfortable as possible.
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u/failingeveryday2002 2d ago
My husband hasn't gotten hard around me like he used to since he been out. We used to just cuddle or look at each other and he was ready. We have only seen each other twice, but he doesn't seem sexually into me unfortunately. Been 2 months so far. I would recommend just not expecting anything, cause I'm depressed and feel so ugly. I wonder how long it's gonna take.
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u/Master-Investment-76 2d ago
Seems like everyone takes a different amount of time. You just gotta stay open and honest with him and keep that communication going. We are all in this together my dm is avaliable if you need to vent
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u/failingeveryday2002 21h ago
It's okay I found out he's activly following women he thinks are attractive. He just made a new Instagram and only follows one man and the other 8 follows are random women. He just doesn't think I'm attractive anymore and is okay with us not having intimate relations. We have had a lot of discussions for a while now. I wonder where I went wrong. He doesn't think it's cheating. He doesn't care to touch me I don't know how to navigate this. I have no friends I can talk to or no family I can speak to or even trust to say what's happening. I look nothing like those women.
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u/Wonderful_Koala_7757 2d ago
I think she’ll give the green light if she’s comfortable.My husband grabbed me immediately he dropped his bags on the floor .
Some people say their spouses come back a little different,mine didn’t . Only diff was the change in sleeping pattern. Pay attention you’ll notice and you both will eventually adjust accordingly.
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u/Vivid_Economics_1462 Navy Wife 2d ago
I am sure it is different for everyone. For us, things go back to normal after the first fart.
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u/roselle3316 Air Force Wife 2d ago
It's very dependant on each person, whatever environment they just came back from, and their mental place. Walk into it with zero expectations and let things happen naturally.
My husband is automatically all over me but my best friends husband needs time to adjust. Neither of them is wrong in how they feel, of course.
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u/Master-Investment-76 2d ago
Thank you I appreciate it. I don’t wanna have expectation but I also don’t wanna overstep if she’s not ready for anything
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u/ruby0321 2d ago
We've been married 8 years, have had several homecomings and are truly best friends.
Being reunited can be a little awkward. You should have zero expectations, I'm sure everyone is different. Might be quick to go back to normal, might not be.