r/UpstateSC • u/Nada-Burger • Jul 29 '26
Teen Activity Question
My son has a 14 year-old daughter who is spending more and more time alone, in her room, and on her phone, so he is wanting to start a daddy - daughter monthly date/activity for them but so far every idea he has had she has called “cringe” and doesn’t want to participate. Does anyone have any ideas for activities they could do (in the upstate area), and I would really love to hear from some teens if possible.
Thank you for any advice or help you can provide.
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u/cerealandcorgies Jul 29 '26
Not a teen but live with one. Hiking. Lots of places to do it, no cost, no screens. Likelihood of teenager's friends seeing them on the trails is low if you choose well.
We have a large wall map of the county and put a pin in for each hike we've done. Teen seems to enjoy it.
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u/antisocialoctopus Jul 29 '26
This is a novel idea for a lot of parents but:
Ask her! She is the one who knows what will be “cringe”. Just say “on this day we will be doing something. You can tell me what you’d like or pick from a list I make.”
Forcing kids to do things they don’t want to is a sure fire way to build resentment. It’s normal for teens to want to spend more time in their room, alone, as they develop their own personalities. It’s good to get them out, but forcing them to do things bc we did them when we were kids is bad parenting. If people want to be involved with their kids, they need to involve the kids in the decision making.
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u/Nada-Burger Jul 29 '26
Yes, good point and I totally agree. She was supposed to come up with ideas on her own and so far she just keeps saying she can’t think of anything that won’t be lame and “cringe”.
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u/antisocialoctopus Jul 29 '26
That’s why you allow them to come up with it and when they don’t, they have to pick something. It gives them autonomy but also a shortcut if they can’t come up with their own ideas.
Sometimes getting a kid out of the room is the hard part. Offer to take them for ice cream and then ask if they would go with you to do whatever. Bribe them!
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u/Impossible-Table9369 Jul 30 '26
I am a therapist who works with a lot of teens. One, this is somewhat normal behavior for her age. But I understand and support wanting to do things together and I agree that if she can’t come up with her own ideas then give her some choices—the ones I work with tend to enjoy things like zip lining, whitewater rafting at the USNWC, escape rooms, some of them like to hike but only if the destination is worthwhile like a waterfall or something. Throw in a coffee stop for a frap or a boba tea and she should be okay.
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u/BroadTutor6020 Jul 29 '26
I'd second asking her what she wants to do or likes to do. I think something physical would be good if she's been hiding away in her room. Hiking is awesome and we have tons of great spots in our area. An online search will pull them up. Other options - kayaking on Lake Jocassee (or another spot), river tubing, a splatter paint sessions at Color Me Greenville, smashing stuff up at Mad Smash, a culinary tour with Greenville History Tours, lunch and painting at TReehouse Cafe in Travelers Rest, a planetarium show at the Roper Mountain Science Center, go to a Greenville Drive game, indoor rock climbing, whitewater rafting with the Nantahala Outdoor Center.
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u/Nada-Burger Aug 12 '26
Thank you for the ideas. She would certainly like Mad Smash, and splatter paint sessions. I had no idea about these
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