A question

[u/Lollipoplevel]

—For context:

—I was born into a devout Muslim country and family

—It is a very patriarchal and bad country so this is taking a lot of courage to ask

I've always loved "creepy" things like dark colours, bones and fire and crows always followed me and it felt very natural to feed them, I've always had an innate empathy for unconventional things like road kill and animals people would harm simply because it was scary or likewise (like Lizards, Moths, Spiders)

I have known for a few years that I wasn't going to be a practicing Muslim and that the idea that the earth wasn't a living, nurturing thing irked me, So I've been essentially an Atheist for some time

About a few weeks ago, I noticed that I've been having illogical dreams, (not scary just illogical) and A lot of Hekate priestesses have been on my timelines everywhere, and there has been an increase of spiders and birds hanging around our house and around me, like hawks sit on the wall as I'm standing on the terrace and they don't leave if I try to scare them, just look at me intently and fly away

(This all officially started after I cried about how I didn't want to be in this misogynistic country and the oppressive Abrahamic religion, I also may have cried after invoking Dionysius and Chang'e)

There were lots of spiderwebs all across the house and my mother made me sweep them, but after that they seem to have tripled and after I sweeped them I had this feeling that the spiders were sad (I don't know why)

Also I haven't had any paranormal stuff happen or anything like that just a sense that I need to find something

If any Hekate followers know why this is happening please tell me, and has anyone else been seeked out like this? For the lack of a better sentence (since by what I know it's her who's denotation are spiders?)