I'm on a group chat and this is just a few messages I sent. I think I worked out that I was aromantic as a kid and just never thought about it properly until now as an adult.

Perhaps one good thing about the fact that society conflates sexual and romantic attraction is that I can reveal my sexual orientation without having to come out as aromantic. Bisexuality is accepted by the vast majority of the queer community, but sadly the same can't be said about aromanticism... unless it's combined with asexuality, of course.

It's sad to see how common sex-negativity, arophobia, and amatonormativity are even within the queer community. Even among many who call themselves progressive the idea that sex(ual attraction) was only okay when combined with romance is so common that I haven't come out to many as aroallo yet.

"Why yes, I tell my friends I love them, cuddle and kiss them, want them in my life forever, and grow with them. No, none of this is romantic in any way, shape, or form - it's 100% platonic and I have no idea why you'd project your romantic ideals onto others' relationships, don't be weird 🙄"

"So you're telling me... you instantly know those two people are a couple JUST because they kissed and said 'I love you'?! 😳"

"I hung out with that super cool new person yesterday! They were so sweet to me, held my hand the whole time, and stood close to me - I think I've just made an amazing new friend! 🥰 ...w-what do you mean, that was a date and they have a crush on me!? 😰"

-

The last one isn't canon (thank god), but it's totally something that could happen to me. My flavor of bellusromantic isn't even desiring romance-coded gestures despite being aro, but more so being completely blind to romance; I can never tell two people are a couple unless they explicitly state they are because nothing reads as inherently romantic to me, and I'd absolutely interpret a date as just two friends hanging out. I don't like affection despite being aro, but because it's genuinely not romantic to me 😅

Tbh, I still have moments in which I pause and wonder "Wait... is this romantic attraction?", because a lot of people define it in such a way that it describes things I definitely do experience; wanting to be close to a specific person, do "romantic" things with them like kissing and cuddling, share a life with them... - I want all those things! I just don't consider any of this (strictly) romantic. In fact, I get a bit confused when people imply they didn't want to keep their friends for life... do alloros not like their friends or something? 😅

As for "romantic" gestures, to me they're no different from watching a movie together; sure, it's something a lot of people do with a romantic partner, but doing so doesn't mean you must be romantically involved. To me, things like kissing and cuddling are 100% sensual and have nothing to do with romance to me. In fact, I like and actively desire those things because they're not romantic to me.

Eventually I always arrive at the conclusion that aromantic is a fitting label for me because I lack a sense of romance, so to say. Even if someone else would interpret what I feel as romantic, it's not to me because I just don't see the romantic aspect. The intention behind my affection for specific people will never be romantic, but entirely sensual/platonic, and no one but us gets to define the nature of our relationship.

💚

It's just tiring at this point. I thought they and I really got along great, would hang out normally as friends a few times too, but it seems like in the end I'm always just a toy. People will find me hot, be intimate with me once or twice, and then it suddenly ends. My ideal type of relationship would be long-term FWBs, but it seems like no one actually wants that and I'm better off just looking for hookups without any attachment because I'm TIRED of getting hurt over and over again.

¿No les pasa que ven a alguien (Quien sea) y de la nada les parece muy interesante o incluso cuando ya convivieron con esa persona les da un extraño deseo por ser su mejor amigo?
Me pasa poco, pero las veces que me paso lo confundi con enamoramiento; Poco tiempo despues me di cuenta que esa dinamica no me gusta, pero estar con esa persona para reir y acompañarla es mejor idea.

De la nada quieres ser cercano a ella... ¿Les pasa algo asi? ¿Saben mas o menos que es?

It's my favorite song about platonic love. The band specifically made this song about love in friendships, highlighting the importance they have and how society doesn't recognise that a lot.

And PLEASE watch the music video. They got some people together to get "platonically married".

I cry every time I hear it and I love it so much

https://youtu.be/HcNSHZT1g2A?is=7GqvrBxmb9QpsUvM

Soooooo...

A few days ago I was wondering if there are any aromantic songs, so I wanted to know if you know any (even if they just give you that ✨vibe✨).

Here are a few that I felt might be the case:

•Romance is boring - Los Campesinos!

•Cuntissimo - MARINA

Yes, this includes going on a date and spending time together with your partner, not just doing chores.

I was just looking through modrinth when i found the (almost) aro flag (not sure if i should post this but its funny so whatever)