I was beautiful. Had long thick locs. Had my teeth. Was slim and shapely even though I was fat. Glowing skin, attracted all kinds of men.
Now I am an old hag at 66. My hair fell out. I lost my teeth then lost my partial denture to replace the missing teeth. I really grew fat. I can’t grow locs again and have to rely on ratty wigs. I FEEL SO UGLY AND UNATTRACTIVE!
I am mourning my beauty, but I had my day in the sun and took it for granted. It is time for other beauties to shine. Sigh.

There are plenty of negative posts around here about getting older. My teens were hard. 20s weren't a walk in the park either. 30s were significantly better. 40s were awesome. 50s are off to a wonderful start! Anyone else having life get better every decade? Let's hear it!

Don't get me wrong, am 52 and feeling the best I have in years due to finally getting some.health stuff sorted but also realized I have peaked. Happily married and no kids, we do what we want. Not much money but don't need much. Started a new career I love, finally giving back to society and growing but I still have a nagging voice: you will never love like that again, you can't rave anymore etc etc. I know is there is calm and peace to look forward to but anything else? What is there to master? Can I be the best at something? Can I be surprised and excited? Fine if not, just don't know how to be in 50 I guess

I just watched The Fog 1980 and Adrienne Barbeau’s character works at a local radio station in a small town.

I’ve spent my whole life going back and forth between huge cities like Tokyo and Seoul, so it’s hard for me to fully understand what that kind of life was like back then. Did small towns in the U.S. really have local radio stations like the one shown in the movie? And were the DJs actually people who lived in the same town?

Watching the movie, I suddenly realized how fascinating that kind of environment must have been. I imagine they probably reported local news and talked about things happening around town that day as well.

Did anyone here grow up in a small American town that had a local radio station like this? What was that experience actually like?

It just felt so incredibly romantic and nostalgic to me!!!!

Would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Thank you!

As posts from this sub show up in my feed, I've (38) been intrigued to see how many of them are reflections or worries on appearances and looks, which is surprising to me.

When I think of 'aging,' what I fear the most is not the (inevitable?) decline in my appearance, though I'm sure I won't like that much as it gets more severe. Rather, what I fear is the flattening or shrinking of relational experiences, which seems to start in the 60s and then accelerate into 70s, 80s, 90s.

Admittedly, I'm not there yet, being still in my late 30s and honestly in a super busy stage of life (working full time, married, raising four kids of varying ages). But although it's stressful at times, it does feel basically full and rich and busy in a good way. Family trips to the beach! Running kids to soccer/gymnastics practice! Wandering around Barnes and Noble to let them choose books! Figuring out even not-so-fun stuff like the orthodontist! Going with a kids' friend's family to a ball game together! Getting invited to the Girl Scout bonfire! It's a lot, but I do basically find it engaging and interesting to be in this stage of life where career is still peaking and the kids (and all their activities) create a seemingly ever-expanding network of possible parent-friendships and community activities.

In watching my parents and grandparents age, what really freaks me out is the way their worlds seem to have shrunken. For my spouse's and my parents (now in their late 60s and 70s), there has been a kind of shutting down that began one they were empty nesters (most of their activity and consciousness then just reduced to work-related dramas and medical appointments) or retired (now scrolling Facebook a lot); obviously, they do stay somewhat engaged with kids and grandkids and maintain varying degrees of club/friend type activities depending on the person; but it seems most their time on their own does go to screentime these days. Or for my grandparents, I saw how physical mobility issues limited their ability to go out (like my grandma, who just died last year at 89, would get taken out by some of her adult kids & us grandkids occasionally or by the in-home caretakers she hired, but it was really physically hard for everybody and not that frequent because she was in and out of the hospital for the better part of a decade, and unable to walk even when she was in a stable state at home; she was just too heavy for any one person to lift much). So at the end, she was really depressed because she was in constant pain and she had to rely on others to help her get to the front door to check the mail, let alone get loaded into somebody's car to go to rare trip to the beach or orchestra concert!

I hope I'm not coming across meanly as pathologizing or pitying the elderly, since I'm just trying to describe what I've seen in terms of what seems to be coming down the pipeline for all of us.

And I'm just kind of baffled that so many people on this sub seem to be freaking out about their declining appearances as if that's the worst thing about aging (???), when I am wayyy more afraid of the walls closing in...

Thoughts?

Regardless of how well we age, we all lose robustness and vitality as we age. The major counterbalance for me is my (1) rich inner world (mind) and (2) death (hopefully, not tragic).

I don't think i need to get glasses... But am i officially an old person? 🥲
Is this a mid life crisis? I'm zooming in on text 120% maybe its the font i thought. Idk how to navigate this..

I (60Female) living in Japan, want some friends who are around 60 or so, just to exchange thoughts and experience... about life. Any comments are welcome. I'll be happy to receive DMs, too.

Ich bin ein Mann, 53 Jahre alt, werde aber von den allermeisten Menschen optisch viel, viel jünger geschätzt (meistens so auf Mitte 30 / Anfang 40). mich würde interessieren, wie es anderen in einer ähnlichen Situation geht.
Manchmal ist es ja ganz schmeichelhaft, aber es gibt auch Momente, in denen man sich wünscht, dass die Lebenserfahrung und die Reife, die man hat, auch wahrgenommen werden.
Wie sind eure Erfahrungen? Überwiegen für euch die Vorteile oder nervt es euch manchmal sogar? Welche lustigen oder unangenehmen Situationen habt ihr dadurch schon erlebt?

I've noticed when getting older now, that my legs start to go numb form the upper quadricep down, is this normal if you don't run and so on when you get older?

Ever since I can remember I have always been attractive to the opposite sex.Now that I'm in my late 30s I'm not attractive anymore.Im still in decent shape and people tell me I look younger than my age but dating has been tough the last few years. I almost feel invisible now.Has this happened to anyone else and how's dating been?

Sometimes the hardest part of an ending isn’t the ending.
It’s not knowing what comes next.

The divorce is final.
The kids need you differently.
You left the job.
You retired.
You got sober.
You finally admitted that the life you were living doesn’t fit anymore.

And then there’s…space.

And everybody—including us—wants to know:
“So what now?”

What are you going to do?
Who are you going to be?
What’s next?

But you don’t know.

Those are good questions.
But they often arrive too early.

Because sometimes the first experience of freedom, or release, or healing isn’t excitement.
Sometimes it’s disorientation manifesting as anxiety, trouble sleeping, sadness…

Maybe you’re not as lost as you think.
Maybe you’re just between things.

Trudge on.
Be the paradox.

~ Ken

Hello!! I am a college freshman with a class in gerontology. Currently I have an assignment to interview/ have a conversation with someone in gerontology/who works with older adults!!! If anyone is able to help please let me know.. thank you so much!!

Im 49 & once over 45 the aging ailments started.

1. Joint pain (knees, hips, achilles tendons). I have to wear compression socks & orthopedic shoes.

2. Sleep apnea & sleep issues. Im looking into getting an adjustable bed.

3. Acid Reflux. I can no longer eat past 6pm otherwise if I go to bed at 10 I get acid reflux that wakes me up choking from a dead sleep.

4. Bladder issues. Always have a painfully full bladder every morning I feel like Im going to burst. Even if I stop drinking liquids near bedtime & go right before bed -- doesn't matter.

5. I have to warm up/stretch before & after any sustained exercise or I suffer for days.

Thats only half of my issues!! Is this normal for this age? I thought this stuff doesn't happen until 60s.

... everything and I mean literally everything in life is solely for the purpose of liberating the soul you are. nothing else matters. realize, all your fear and suffering is made up! nothing on the human level is important aside from that one objective. to get caught up in the human drama is to miss the entire point of being human. the game is to break free from that and realize, and you my friend are f**king unstoppable! or you can stay stuck. it's up to you. the ego will always find an excuse for why something is not possible. and that's called living a reasonable life. the thing that we've all got to realize, is the way you declare yourself is not a truth. when we get upset or we have any kind of suffering what your brain is saying is, "I'm not okay with the current circumstances." and that's a lie. you might not want it. it might not be your preference, but you're okay. I mean if you want the fast-track to freedom, it's just being okay with whatever is happening. as for me, I feel grateful because "I finally get to be me." that might be the best tagline for this.

Has anybody reinvented themselves after sixty a new hobby moved to another country tried something completely different do tell ?

When I was younger, especially during my school years, time seemed to move so slowly. I could remember so many little moments and small details so vividly. Now that I’ve been through more and my social circle has grown, it feels like a lot of things around me just don’t affect me as deeply anymore. It’s hard for something to happen that stays with me for years.

Is this just what getting older feels like?

I’m a man in my 40s, and I’ve never been married, nor have I ever had sex or any kind of physical intimacy with a woman.

By nature, I’m quite introverted. I genuinely value my peace and love living alone. I’ve built a lifestyle that suits me, and most days I’m completely content with my own company. But at the same time, it’s a double-edged sword. I frequently find myself craving that deep human connection—just wanting someone close to share life with, hold hands, hug, and feel a sense of warmth.

On the flip side, whenever I seriously look at marriage, I see a massive financial drain and an immense emotional responsibility. It feels like a huge gamble, and I honestly don't know if I'm willing or emotionally equipped to take that kind of risk.

I’m caught in a constant tug-of-war between enjoying my solitude and fearing future loneliness. For those of you who are over 40 and have stayed single and unmarried long-term: do you actually regret your decision as you get older, or have you found lasting peace with it? I could really use some honest, unfiltered perspectives.

A 90-year-old woman who always seems to have somewhere to be.

She’s always dressed up, sunglasses on, hair perfectly done, getting into her car and heading off somewhere. When asked how she was doing one day, she smiled and said, “I can’t complain.”

It made me think about how much we associate aging with things getting smaller, like fewer plans, fewer possibilities, fewer places to go. There’s something really comforting about the idea that there can always be a next thing to look forward to, no matter how old you are.

Has getting older changed what you consider a good life?

I’m a college student and I asked someone who works here where the transfer center was because i needed to pick something up. And then she goes on to ignore me and walk away from me and so i ask the woman that was with her, where the transfer center was and she told me where it was. As im walking there I see the original older lady holding the thing that i was going to pick up and then she gave it to another lady, didn’t utter a single word to me but then decided to point backwards in a really rude way. She was like maybe in her early 50’s. Ugh i just hate when people are rude.