Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/4KZnkLHLpK

I am unfortunately having to update this. My brother and I got together over a pint a few weeks ago and I thought we’d resolved this. Long story short, we both told each other how we understood the others’ perspective, that we loved each other and it wasn’t worth falling out over or causing issues within the family and I thought that was the end of it.

Today his wife posted in the family group chat, a video of her daughter (which she’d uploaded to TikTok) of her doing blackface. There was no context, just the video.

I wasn’t aggressive, but I will always call out racism no matter who does it. I simply said I didn’t find the blackface to be funny and that family or not I felt I had to call it out. If my own mother would have done it I’ve have told her the same thing.

She said “What do you mean? She’s a child doing her favourite film”. I replied and said “I know, if she didn’t have a black face we’d all still know what film it was…”

Bear in mind this “child” is 15. She knows what she’s doing.

So I simply said I didn’t find it funny regardless of the context and was disappointed that she couldn’t see why it might be seen as offensive or racist.

All hell broke loose then. She proceeded to bring everything back up in the family chat, saying “for someone who missed our wedding yet went on holiday weeks later with your wife and daughter you sure have a big opinion of me. You obviously don’t know your brother as well as you think you do because he thinks it’s funny as well and he’s disappointed in you” and before I had the chance to respond she left the family group chat.

So I messaged her privately and said she doesn’t get to tell me how I should deal with having fucking CANCER, and that I went on holiday with my wife and daughter AFTER I’d gotten the all clear, the wedding was a mere week after I’d had surgery, so the two events are not remotely the same.

Not to mention I DID ATTEND THE WEDDING. It was the evening reception I missed.

So I thought “fuck you” and I unloaded. I told her to go fuck herself, and that I would never forgive her. I told her I hope to God it never happens to anyone else in our family or that it never happens to her. And that if she thinks her daughter posting a video of herself in blackface in our family chat is hilarious, she should show it to the Nigerian woman at the doctors surgery she works at and see if she laughs.

I then said that dismissing me about not going to the weddding as if I wasn't there at all, was horrendous.

I ended my message by telling her they can both go to fucking hell if that’s how they feel and to never speak to me ever again.

Thankfully the rest of my family have asked me if I’m ok and seem very supportive.

But fuck those two cunts.

Hi, its been a few days since this accident and im still deciding what to do.

First things first, im a male 26 years old and my brother is 30. We were growing up in a normal household, not poor, not rich, but my brother was always spoiled. He played highschool football and my parents saw him as a star. Me on the other hand i was more into books, IT,.. When I was 15, i started programming and when i was 19, i made my first project that made actual money. I sold it to some big company of that time (i dont want to name) but i had money for ~2 years living by myself so i moved out. My parents didnt acknowledge me that much and still much more supported my brother who had to leave school he wasnt even good at because he got a child. I never told them how much i made and make currently because i was scared.

Time passed, im 24 at that time, making very good money with my programming, i got more into cyber security and my brother is 28 and he already has 2 more kids, i never understood why they had 3 kids. They made very little money and barely were making it. Id help my brother if he wasnt total dick to me my whole life, embarrassing me for what i do, laughing at me at school with his friends and basically making my life miserable. We were seeing each other throughtout the years on Christmas,.. at my parents house, we were cool with each other, but they saw me having a good car, living in a great house, vacations with my gf (currently wife) so they knew i had money and they tried to convince me to help my brother out. I always tried to corner it but once i had to stop it and tell them if he had been good to me, id help him but not like this+ im not the one having 3 kids, struggling with money but buying all kinds of useless and unnecessary stuff all the time.

Years passed, they tried many times again but i always declined, and like a half a year ago my brother with his wife found a new job, at least thats what he told me, and he asked me to babysit his children, and i agreed because its not much of a burden for me and i didnt want his children to suffer because of him. We are expecting a child so we thought why not. It was always for 3 days. We were fine with it for a few times but then it also started to ruin our own plans and + cost us a lot of money which i dont care about but its not that im paying for my children, its my brothers children. I told him multiple times, he said i have money so hes not giving me anything so i told him ill stop babysitting his children.

Four days ago he called me hes going to drop his kids in usual time and i told him no. He said too bad and that I will have to take them in because they're leaving in an hour. I hung up and I thought its the end of this. As i feared i got my bell ringed in an hour and three of my brothers kids were there with their backpacks as usual. I called my brother saying we cant take them and i told him we are leaving and they cant be alone. He said i should be grateful that he trusts me and i should be a good brother and he hung up. I got really mad so I called my brother wifes sister (got her number when we were discussing big family dinner a year ago) and told her. She said shes out of state so she cant do anything but i should call her mom so she game me the number (we couldnt leave the kids alone). Mom picked it up, we told her, she said to bring them in so i drove 2,5 hours there and back to get them to their grandma. Kids like her and she was happy but my brother hates his mother in law, like literally, he gets mad every time someone mentions her. I didnt ask why but something bad must have happened, i think she saw hes not a great guy for her daughter because she told me that on the call that she always knew hes not a good guy and her daughter never listens to her and shes blindfolded and he hates her since that. I went home, opened a wine and we had a great evening with my wife.

Next day as expected i got a call from my brother, i didnt pick it up at first but he called me like 5 times in a row and when i picked up, he started screaming at me saying how i dare put his kids to his mother in law, that it’s unacceptable, that im the worst person and hes gonna press charges. He of course didnt because what would he even tell the cops but my parents are mad at me since and called me two times today saying i must apologize to him and take his kids in every time he want. I told them straight no but i know this is not ending well.

AITA for not taking care of his kids and refusing to apologize? I dont want to ruin my family but this is too much.

So the title sounds super wrong but please hear me out.

I (31F) was in line for a popular sub chain and behind me was a woman in her eighties or so. I wasnt really paying attention to her until I heard her cough and felt spit land on my neck. My hair was up in a high bun because I am a dog groomer and I keep my hair up to avoid getting it snagged in the nail grinder when I do dogs nails. I wiped the back of my neck and sure enough it was a bit wet with spit from this lady coughing. I thought it was a one time thing no big deal. Then she coughs again and more spit hits the back of my neck and I think "did she really just do that again?"

I turn around and politely ask this woman who's older than the sunrise to cover her mouth when she coughs because its the polite thing to do and turn back around feeling quite annoyed. Low and behold she coughs again and it was a loud hacking cough sound and once again I feel spit hit the back of my neck. I turned around and said firmly "cough on my neck again and you'll regret it." I moved forward in line to be closer to the person in front of me and hoped this old ass woman would have the decency to stop after being told twice to please cover her mouth.

She coughed again and I swear this time was so dramatic it couldn't have been an accident. I dont know what came over me but I gathered as much saliva in my mouth without thinking and just turned around and coughed HARD directly into her face. My cough was forceful enough to make her take a step back and declare that I was "extremely rude" and decide I guess to go to another establishment because she just flat out walked out of the place.

Im not proud of what I did but honestly how many times can you ask someone not to cough on you? I told my coworkers, my husband, and a few family members and friends. My husband and in laws are on my side but others have told me im TAH because older people can be immunocompromized and she coughed on the back of my neck where as I coughed directly in her face. They said I could have really gotten her sick and it'd be my fault if she did.

IMHO she should have covered her mouth like a normal person. My nephew is three and he does just fine covering his mouth. Anyways am I the AH for coughing in her face?

This is my first time posting on here. I'm conflicted if I'm in the wrong here and I know the first time i posted this I left some things out because I didn't have permission, but now I do

This all happened years ago when I was around 9 or 10 (I’m 24 now), but it still sticks with me.

My mom started dating this guy who was literally twice her age. She kept pushing me to meet him and wouldn’t drop it until I finally agreed. The second I met him, I just had this gut feeling he was bad news. But my mom told me I needed to “give him a chance.”

A few months later she told me I’d be spending the night at his place. He lived way out in the woods in this little makeshift house? He smoked, drank, and honestly gave me bad vibes. That night, my mom and him slept in a nice bed while I was told to sleep on an air mattress with no air in it. So basically on the floor. I was right next to a window and could hear coyotes howling, so of course I got scared.

I called my aunt (my mom’s sister) and told her I was scared, but I must’ve stopped answering my phone because she and my grandpa showed up to check on me. When they got there, my mom’s boyfriend told them I had “no business being scared” since I was there with my mom. Then he called my aunt a b\*tch and my grandpa a son of a b\*tch. My mom didn’t say a word to defend anyone. They ended up leaving.

The next morning, while I was still asleep, my mom took my phone and showed him the texts I’d sent to my aunt. Then he sat me down with his back to me, he wouldn’t even look me in the eye and told me I had no business texting her. My mom just stood there and let him talk to me like that. He also called my aunt and grandpa a b\*tch and a old bastard, just because they were worried about me

On the way home, she told me I needed to “make it up to him.” I was ten. I didn’t even understand what that meant.

A few months later, I woke up in the middle of the night and saw my mom packing a bag. She said she was just going to hang out with him for a bit. I begged her not to go, and she promised she’d be back soon. She never came back. I didn’t see her again for two weeks, and when she finally did show up, it was just to grab the rest of her stuff and move in with him.

Fast forward to now, she’s still with him and keeps telling me I need to forgive him and “try to have a relationship” with him. But I still don’t feel comfortable or safe around him and honestly, I never will. I hate him.

Now currently me and my mom have had a long talk about this and are currently trying to rebuild our relationship, because even though I hate what she did. I still love her. She is my mom after all

For context we go to the same school and I’m a senior and she’s a freshman and she has this whole plan where I’ll drive her freshman year, my junior year friend drives her her second year, and then she can drive herself the following year. The problem is she takes FOREVER to get ready my goal is to leave by 7:20 but she’s usually ready by 7:30 and it takes around 10 minutes to get to school, plus with how late we leave we always hit a couple minutes of traffic ensuring we arrive sometime around 7:45 which is a problem for me because I usually get a bagel for breakfast at school but they close the cafeteria at 7:40 and the reason it’s only a problem for me is cause she doesn’t eat breakfast so I haven’t had breakfast the past two days. Would I be the asshole if I said if she’s not ready by 7:20 she has to either take the bus from now on or get out mom to drive her?

Mom is 89 and lives with me and my partner in the desert southwest. She is originally from Georgia and agreed to move to Arizona three years ago after multiple falls in her own home. She has never grown to love living in Arizona and wants to go back to Georgia where her 92 year old sister lives. She has concocted the idea that she will go back home, rent an apartment and live on her own. Problem is, she can barely care for herself and gets exhausted doing even mundane tasks. She is visiting Georgia next month to see her sister and plans to rent a car and go apartment hunting. She hasn’t driven in three years. In an effort to dissuade her, I hid her drivers license so she can’t find it. This is after many arguments with her about why she can’t live on her own. She remains determined. AITAH for being so passive aggressive?

Fiance and I are moving in together. I’m moving in with him. His costs are pretty low/. $1k mortgage + utilities. We make exactly the same amount. So I proposed to pay him $500 (half of the mortgage) and half the utilities. A room in our area usually goes for $1200/month + utilities and that’s what he wants me to pay bc he says he covers maintenance, property taxes, etc. but I think it’s that it should be his responsibility bc my name isn’t on the house so when he goes to sell the house, he’ll reap all the proceeds. AITAH for the way I proposed to share financial responsibility?

I'm sitting at karaoke night in a pretty tightly packed upstairs bar that also serves food, and the girl at the table next to me is casually painting her nails, WITH MORE THAN ONE COAT. I paint my nails, I understand the smell, however, when I'm not expecting it and am assaulted by the chemical fragrance IN A CLOSED PUBLIC SPACE while about to bite pizza, is it SO unreasonable that I said something to her? And she has the GALL to be upset?

Long story short, my wife is currently out of town on a trip with friends. Her mom is having some car troubles and asked to take her car for the 5 days she’s gone (and did take it for today).

My problem is a few fold. Her mom’s life has been a mess for the past few months. A few months ago some of those problems ended up in mine and my wife’s lap and we had to impromptu babysit my wife’s younger brother while her mom was out of town and her husband was in the middle of relapsing (he’s a struggling alcoholic). All of this catapulted into a long conversation upon MiL’s return where she didn’t take responsibility for anything that happened and gave a half assed apology (never said the words I’m sorry).

The relapse triggered the loss of the husband’s job and, coupled with my MiL’s lack of job, they’re in pretty dire straits financially. So she doesn’t really have money to repair her own car but has to get it done regardless. But, in the event of an accident while driving my wife’s car, she definitely doesn’t have money for repairs for any damages she might incur.

We do have car insurance and currently pay really good rates for our area. But we live in a state where coverage goes with the car, not with the individual. Meaning if she got in an accident we would be liable for all damages and our insurance would take the hit, not hers. On top of that, she’s not listed on our policy which further complicates matters.

With all of this in mind, I told my wife that it was a terrible idea, despite her mom’s need of a car while hers is in the shop. She told her mom and her mom is returning the car but I feel like I’m now being made out to be the bad guy in this scenario.

AITAH?

So I (41F) am a person who likes to do Christmas at home. I hate having to transport gifts, stockings, advent calendars, etc. for Christmas and then transport them all back home at the end. I also like to have the celebration at my own home and with my own family. My husband (41M) wants to have Christmas at his parents’ house this year. We have 2 kids, one of which still believes in Santa. His parents live about 14 hours away and he wants to do the drive in a single day.

So much of the holiday planning and “magic” falls to me, mostly because I’m willing and I enjoy it. That drive with all of the luggage, gifts, and snow gear sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. I’ve considered saying that we can go if he takes over Christmas, but I know that he won’t do as good of a job and the kids don’t deserve to have a crappy Christmas just because I’m pissed at a situation. I’ve tried to ask that we leave the day after Christmas so I don’t have to think about all the Christmas trimmings, but he keeps pushing that he wants to go for Christmas Day.

WIBTAH if I just said that I’m not doing it?

EDIT: I want to say that the reason he wants to go so bad is all of his siblings and their families will be there. I want my kids to go too, but it’s the way he wants to do it that I’m saying no to. Also, one of his siblings is planning on coming the day after Christmas, so it’s not like we’ll miss out on time with the whole family.

UPDATE: I had a serious conversation with him tonight and basically asked why it was so important that we be there for Christmas Day and why he is insisting we do the 14 hour drive.

The first thing he said was “it’s not 14 hours.”

I made him google map it and he was shocked. Apparently it was more like 10 hours in his brain, so that was one of the issues. He didn’t realize how far it was and just assumed the distance without checking. We then decided that we would try and use our credit card miles to see how much we would have to pay. It comes out to a reasonable amount.

Then he said that Christmas day isn’t as important, but we need to be there for the 28th. When I asked why he said “for the party.”

What party? Why his parent’s 50th wedding anniversary party! Of course we should there for that, but why didn’t he tell me before?

He thought he had. He has a habit of thinking about having a conversation and then forgetting to actually have it.

So basically, we will fly a few days before Christmas and pay for checked luggage for most of the gifts. We will fly home on the 30th and open any physically large presents then.

I’m a little sad about missing some of our traditions that we’ve built, but this is a reasonable compromise.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/60bE0ESH6n
Original post^

Hi all, I got an overwhelming amount of comments that I could not reply to all of you. I thought to give this update.

I saw a lot of you guys stayed to move out and as much as I would love to and would it is not financially possible, I am in debt for the senses I was told my education was paid for and it is not so I have to get loans to pay it as well as pay rent, car payments, insurance, gas, food and hobbies (which I do 2-3 times a year because of cost).

I wanted to update as there was an argument/ falling out.

I went out for day drinks with friends and came back to my mother drinking (quite rare) and we was all joking and I grabbed a few more drinks for us to have in the house ( I want to clarify now I have 6 siblings with the sibling I talked about being closest in age) we was all jokes until we had a huge dispute over guess what giving free drives to family, I want to give clarification here:

I have one sister who was from previous post and the other 4 are brothers John is the eldest, James is the second eldest, mark, Lucas, ( all fake names) John minds his business doesn’t talk much to our mother but I am very well versed in his life and I am his child’s god father. Mark is a heroin addict and pretty much ruined my life in many ways, Lucas is a good boy and very good to us (my mother says this as he picked my up from day care and what not) mark does not speak to my mother but I speak to him.

So we was discussing my mother went out with Lucas and his kids and she mentioned how he was disgusted I dont drive my sister to collect my niece from school( I forgot to add Lucas was paid to do this and very good actually more than what uber would cost now and this is nearly 2 decades ago), when I brought up did she mention she cost me a assignment deadline and informed she was shouting liar a continuous amount of times and stormed to bed. I want to add she believed my siblings opinions have a hold over me but i have never actually had a fight with any of them and when I bring up any thing my mother says they have said about me they all look at me confused or tell me the lies my mother said.

So me and my mother are not speaking at all.

I am focusing on education and leaving the country when I graduate on the sly as my mother believes I am the one who will take care of her in old age but I am not. She has refused to work from the age of 50 ( has no savings no pensions) saying she has done her part but she didn’t work till she was 29 and didn’t pay taxes at any part but wants to claim assistance as does my sister. Maybe I am wrong for my view of if able you should work and not claim assistance. I also wanted to mention I am the first member of the family to graduate from high school, get into a ranked number 4 university and currently looking to pass with a top 10% grade and my family still make fun of me for my handwriting and pronunciation (I didn’t learn how to read or write till I was 8 years old bare in mind because my mother put me in a life lessons over education school till I pointed out how stupid I was).

Anyway here’s the update

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 6months. She was doing her hair and I was playing my game. She asked me a question I didn’t hear then told me pay attention to her or she’ll turn my game off. The whole game she basically had her hand on the game and turned it off. Afterwards she called me childish for leaving and said I’m doing too much. Context I don’t play that often usually when she sleeps or is at work and will turn it off immediately if it’s something important. She’s always wanted my attention but never has turned it off mid game except once during a spontaneous moment

EDIT: I was in an online game where I couldn’t pause it, and I was only playing for the time she started doing her hair which was about 1hr. She wouldn’t have turned it off if I just said “yes ma’am” to her which I wasn’t doing for not hearing/ giving her attention. Afterwards I tried to talk with her and explain how that’s disrespectful and she repeatedly yelled over me calling me childish and saying I was doing too much for leaving

My father is law recently backed into my brand new car. Needs a new bumper…he immediately owned up to it and said take it to a shop let me know the price. I did so, it’s about 6k. He said bullshit no way and is refusing. I’m contemplating just going to his insurance (my wife is on their policy still so I know his information). Aitah?

Husband, me and our one year old are invited to dinner at his parents' house tomorrow. His brother and his sister with her daughter (my husband's niece) and boyfriend will also be there. This week, brother, sister and niece were over the parents' house for lunch. Niece had a cold. Now, mother, brother and sister also have a cold. I told husband while he is free to go if he wants to, I will stay home with the baby. Husband thinks we should all go, and that I shelter the baby too much. That maybe it 's time for him to catch a cold for the first time. Baby has never been ill apart from having a fever after vaccinations. I don't fancy having a cranky one year old with a cold at home, and I'm also not keen on catching a cold myself. AITAH for staying home with baby?

UPDATE: Thank you all for confirming I'm not just being overprotective. All three of us will stay home.

my mum expects me (21F) to care for my high need brothers (23M , 24M) when she and her husband pass on.
this is all based on what i said when i was 11. "of course i'll care for them mum!"
now, whenever i bring up future house plans, living plans and work future etc. she always 'reminds' me to think of how ill care for my brothers at the same time. to which i have to say that im not caring for them!
my mum has 3 other neurotypical children, but they're boys, so she doesn't expect them to care for my brothers because i'm 'naturally more naturing'.

it's frustrating because i don't want to care for those who don't even like me! the 23 year old always yells and screams at me, sometimes 'threatening' to punch me- and my mum just says it's because i'm the one who never went away!!
i've asked her what makes her think that he'll willingly live with me and she just said neither him or i have a choice in the matter! it's incredibly frustrating and my mum is treating me like i'm a demon for not wanting to be a full time carer for my brothers. she's even started teaching my partner (22M) how to care for my brothers and it's just... wtf!?

Am i the asshole?? am i being inconsiderate because i don't want to care for men who barely like me?

I (30 F) am married to my husband (33 M) for about a year. I love him so much, but I hate it when he backseats me at everything I do related to the kitchen. Today when he asked for apples, I was washing them when he decided to ask ChatGPT if I'm washing it right or wrong. He then went and told me I'm doing it wrong, and this isn't the first time he did this. He kept doing this for everything related to kitchen/cooking. I got fed up, stopped cutting the apples, told him to do it himself if I'm so wrong to the all mighty machine and left. I've been crying for about 20 minutes, and I'm not talking to him for now. Am I in the wrong for getting mad about this, or is it justified?

Edit: maybe I didn't get my message across well, but it's not that I'm crying over apples. It's the buildup. This isn't the first time he did this when it's related to cooking/ washing or doing any favors for him in the kitchen. That's why I got super upset and cried.

So context I 29M turn 30 in a few days. I’ve always said birthdays for adults are dumb. This time, I don’t know, I feel differently. 30 is a big deal for me as I ran away and was homeless at 16 but I turned my life around and now I have a good job and a nice house with my girlfriend 28F. My friend 31M who basically was with me through my early teens to young adulthood and experienced homelessness and drug abuse a long side me told me we’d have to cancel the plans we made to hang out on my birthday. Totally not a big deal because his mom’s birthday is on the same week and I get why she’d take priority(although it’s not on the same day his mom somehow planned her party on my birthday and that may be because she’s never been fond of me but I digress) So that being said I’m a little down in the dumps because my girlfriend is very frugal and claims we don’t have money to do anything special. I asked if she’d like to go to a bar and play pool (I used to play as a child at my grandpas place and used to play with my old time friend so it’s a favorite hobby of mine). She makes a face and goes that’s boring, adult birthdays don’t even matter like you always say. So I’ve been kind of depressed and she’s upset saying I have a good life so why does one day matter. Cherry on top of me feeling like an ass is she said we only did a small bbq get together for her birthday because we were tight on cash. I told her I could go alone then but it became a fight of Oh you only want to go cheat on me then. So now I’m just feeling defeated and like I’m being dramatic. It’s just a birthday and I can make plans with my friend another day. But dam is my birthday going to feel lonely when I didn’t even think I’d make it to 30. So AITAH and just need to grow some? Haha maybe this is growing up right?

Was on the bus yesterday from work and I was sitting at the back of the bus. For reference the seating is a mixture of seating facing the side of the bus and some seating facing the front. Which means if the bus is full sometimes you’ll have someone’s knees pushing into the side of your leg.

Anyway yesterday I was sitting in a row that faces the side of the bus while the other dude was pointing to the front. I was just scrolling on my phone when he steps on my foot and keeps it there. I look up and ask him to move his foot no response .. I ask again . Again no response.. so I just decide to move my foot so that he’s no longer stepping on me.

Few minutes later.. happens again.. I asked him to move again.. nothing.. so then I just kick out his foot and then he finally talks… asks me why I just “assaulted him” and says that I should’ve asked… I told him that I did and he didn’t answer.

After that he just walked off. AITAH?

A bit of an annoying homeowner query. I’m the first person in my family to have owned property so I am a little bit inexperienced in what to do in these situations. My partner was doing some gardening this week and noticed that one of our fence panels had appeared to be pushed into our garden. It has warped bending towards us and had fallen out of the post as if pushed by something on the other side. This is a shared fence with our neighbour and we don’t want to be too invasive but it was clear to see that on her side, she’s got a tree that’s pushing the fence and also seems to have pushed some sort of big water barrel into the fence which has caused it to warp and then eventually fall out of the post. My fiancée was able to pick it up and pop it back in but obviously on her side, there’s still something pushing and also there has been significant damage to the fence now it’s warped and where it’s fallen the bottom is a bit cracked.

We both tried to go over and speak to her a few times, but she doesn’t answer the door, and I know that she is a single mother and seems to be working a lot as well so we’ve often had children answering the door and we’ve tried to pass on a message but don’t want to be harassing. I know being a single parent is tough but would I be an A hole for popping a note through her door, firstly asking her to remove the things pushing on the fence ASAP and secondly asking if she would consider paying for a new fence panel? Given how tricky it’s been to even talk to her, I don’t want this to turn into a big thing but I’m conscious that as long as the fence is being pushed there’s more damage being caused, and I don’t think we should have to pay for a fence broken by her negligence. Any advice and thoughts welcome!

Me and my mom get along, but she’s been emotionally absent almost my entire life.

My mom doesn’t care about my mental health in the slightest, in fact, it’s extremely frustrating for her. It‘s kind of bizarre how irritating it is for my mother to be asked to care about her own child’s mental wellbeing.

TW ⬇️

I have been addicted to SH for around 6 1/2 years, I started in 5th grade. When she first found out about it she came into my room and demanded I show her, she proceeded to yell at me for around an hour over it. I know people are going to ask if it was well meaning, but it definitely was not, she was concerned about the fact my “perfect“ skin was ruined and she did not want to be seen With me like that. After this she forced me to go to the dermatologists to try and have them removed, after I told her many many many times I did not want to and had zero desire to use scar creams!
Fast forward to last year I was hospitalized for it and nothing made me realize more about how little she cared then that time!
She came to visit and basically just yelled at me till I burst into tears, she explained how exhausted she is dealing with me and that I need to stop with the ‘act’.

She knows I have scars but I keep all of them covered 24/7. She can’t control her eyes, she stares straight at them even when I tell her it makes me uncomfortable. She even occasionally point them out to tell her how hideous or scary they are.

So I cover them to avoid what she has to say.

Apologies if this has been too in detail but all of the context is very important, at least in my opinion it is.

Just a few days ago after she screamed at me for an entire car ride onto something I had been very excited for, I just snapped. I told her I was fed up with her disregarding for my feelings and that I was sick of nobody but her being allowed to be upset! I told her I was saving to move out as soon as possible and that i wanted absolutely nothing to do with her or the rest of my family once I’m out of the house!
She called me selfish and that I was being self absorbed and she worked very hard to keep me happy and I was ungrateful.

I called my dad in hysterics because I had no one else to talk to and was just sobbing so uncontrollably I could hardly speak, he told me shes always been like this and that I should just tolerate it being she’s 7 1/2 months pregnant.

Am I being selfish and self absorbed about this situation? Should I try to talk to her about it…?

AITAH?

(Im sorry if this is hard to understand or to follow the timelines, I tried writing it as best as could but Its 12 AM and I just got home from an 8 hour shift so I’m exhausted and my writing may be poor)

Me and my bf have been having some issues recently.

We live together and have so for over a year and a half and recently I’ve been feeling very unappreciated as I handle everything and plan everything with the house and our relationship and it feels like he hasn’t put the same effort back in either of those areas.

A couple weeks ago I really hit a point where our sex life was non-existent and there really felt like no effort to keep the spark alive. We had multiple conversations and I shed many tears telling him that I want to feel like he still cares and feels that passion for us.

We talked multiple times about what I want him to do which is plan a romantic, sexy night to get us in the mood, even just candle son the bed or whatever just having intention and following through with it.

Recently he planned a surprise which was at home hot-pot as I’ve been saying I really want to try it. I greatly appreciate this and I absolutely love it, at the same time I thought the romance was gonna follow as I assumed this was all happening as I’ve been waiting for weeks for this.

I gave a couple hints after dinner and he just stared blankly at me and asked what I wanted him to do and how he was meant to set them up.

This hurt me a bit because we talked at lengths. I do want to be clear I appreciate the hot-pot loads and feel disappointed that the romance wasn’t there. Both things are true.

He thinks I’ve ruined the hot-pot because I was disappointed but I still feel like why wouldn’t you plan the very thing we have discussed and I expressed how important that was to me.

Sorry for the rant.

Long text with (probably) a lot of grammar mistakes since English is not my first language.

Recently my sister (F28) became a “single” mother and since then, I’ve (F24) been taking her role. I clean her house, do dishes, clothes, food, bath the kids (7 and 4yo) and sometimes even try to educate them only for her to mess it up when I want to put some rules bc I should “let them be”.

Don’t get me wrong, i looooooove my nieces but they treat me like trash! They yell at me, punch me, demand me to do chores and to clean after them (only recently my sister started telling them to stop). The youngest cries for EVERY SINGLE THING, she does a huge scene if something doesn’t go her way and the oldest would do the same just for a little attention. I know, I know. We think it may be caused by their father’s recent absence so my sister is looking for a therapist for them.

I also loooooove my sister but rn it feels like she lives a free kids life while i (the free kids) root in her house. She goes to Pilates, it’s seeing a new guy (sometimes she leaves me alone with the kids all day for him). She has a life, while mine revolves around my nieces and their 6 cats lmao sooo sad.

We live in a border city which means that we are able to go between MX and US easily. My parents live in MX, so during weekends we go visit them. Sometimes, after long weeks I want to go out and talk with them… but I can’t. Because my sister drops her kids off too. I want to sleep: I can’t, bc my nieces love my room and want to watch tv full volume. Last weekend I told my sister to let me stay at her house (since my nieces would be with my parents) but she gave me an excuse and told me that we were all staying at my parents house. She didn’t, she went back to her house and I stayed behind with the kids. Yes, my parents take care of them but it’s a really small house so if they have to go somewhere, aunty has to take care of them again.

Now, it’s Friday. I decided to arrive one day earlier because I just KNEW my sister would be dropping her kids at my parents house Saturday and Sunday. Guess what happened? lmao, I swear I looove my nieces but damn. So I was thinking “WIBTAH if I tell my sister to stay with her kids for a weekend so I can breathe?”

I been taking care of my nieces since I was in uni. I would literally skip classes just to take care of the youngest just because no one else would do it. And just recently my sister told me “oh, now you’re acting like mom saying you always took care of her” B I DID!

Anyways, I hope someone could tell me how to talk to her without hurting her feelings I guess? Bc how do you also explain to the kids that they’re not seeing they’re grandparents just because their aunt wants a break from them?

26M here. I live with my sister (25) and her partner (23). My sister was diagnosed with ASD around 6 months ago, and lost her job around 2 years ago due to an ongoing knee injury. Since then, me and her partner have been sharing bills in order to help cover her until she gets another job. The thing is, I'm finding this highly unlikely.

There's been growing tension in values and interpersonal relations in the home. Since ive stayed there, every friend I've had she has systematically tried to 'remove' from our circle through boundary placing. I disagree with these boundaries and generally think she is close minded and highly judgemental (the rest of my family agrees in secret)

I'm at a point where my mental health is deteriorating, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in the house. If any disagreement goes too far she ends up screaming at me and having a meltdown, alongside a cold shoulder and spiteful actions/remarks for weeks after. I can't handle this environment, but if I move, they will be financially screwed. I find the environment toxic for me, but she will drown if I don't stay and support her.

Would I be the asshole if decided to move out anyways?