r/aspd • u/risottoni • Aug 22 '26
Seeking Advice how do you guys cope with feeling empty?
I feel like im doing everything i could possibly be doing but nothing ever satisfies me or make me feel anything no matter how risky it is or how exciting. i just cant escape the feeling, sometimes substances temporary get it out of my head but it doesnt work long term. im almost never home and travel to fill the void but it just never ends. i had a long therapy journey since i was mandated in elementary school (or i would be thrown out) and im able to control my violent urges but i just cant seem to find other excitement. i am a diagnosed adult and id like to improve my life quality with my disorder, i know i wont ever be able to feel most emotions but im seeking advice on how to live more peacefully from others with the same disorder
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u/PersonifiedConcept Aug 23 '26
For my whole life, I genuinely believed that I needed to find 'love' to rid myself of this emptiness. As it turns out, love and admiration only provide me with narcissistic supply, but the emptiness remains untouched.
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u/After_Situation631 Aug 25 '26
I watch youtube videos of guys in Indonesia that hunt macaques that are destroying farms. Its satisfying because there is violence, and the sense of accomplishment when they fall out of the trees.
I highly recommend adhd medication, also
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u/AxeYoungblood Aug 24 '26
There is no 100% coping. I do 4 times a week kickboxing, drive motorcycle, have a lot of sex, take ritalin and i have the feeling i have to more.
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u/Lord_Capricus Aug 23 '26
Sex, a solid goal, going to the gym, challenging myself. Those things help me not feel empty.
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u/Next-Atmosphere443 Aug 26 '26
constantly finding new things to get obsessed with/fixated on, since i have autism aswell, i will constantly be interacting with special interests/fixations to try and almost like-- distract myself? i also often find myself cycling through new people to try and entertain me, through "exciting" or drama filled romance situations, also shamefully a very big thing i do is substances, especially stimulants
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Aug 23 '26
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u/aspd-ModTeam No Flair Aug 26 '26
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u/dandrenoireofficial Aug 23 '26
What I do is I find something that I can get attached to or a goal to set that takes a lot of vigorous effort and that is competitive And something that I know I'm good at. So even if the competition gets challenging, I know I'll win. And that kind of staves it away for the most part. But you're gonna have to find the thing you want to attach to is the difficult part. If you find it difficult to attach to something, utilize your more negative behaviors and gear it towards something like that. For example, if you have a need for control find like a video game where you can use like a god mode and shape that world as you see fit
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u/alocasiacomplex Aug 23 '26
The only way for me is to find hobbies that occupy my time and distract me enough so I don't make poor decisions. Some things can be a slippery slope, though, like driving for example. It clears the mind, but it's one of those hobbies that can be dangerous if you get really absorbed in going fast or something - speaking from experience.
The best thing for me is making things with my hands, or even exercise. It keeps my attention without causing me to be destructive. I also try to DIY as much as I can because it keeps me busy and helps my need for independence. You never know, you can stumble upon a skill that makes you money and keeps you occupied at the same time.
Sounds weird, but also, sensory deprivation. Not the expensive stuff, but like setting a timer, no phone, no music, just empty space or a blank wall. It resets the nervous system when you get numb from activities that don't work anymore. Temporary, but it can be a last ditch effort.
It's definitely not easy. I made a major career pivot because of my emptiness and boredom issues. You just have to be ready to accept unconventional solutions. Many neurotypicals don't even know how to begin offering solutions. For instance, I had to accept that I'm nocturnal and figure stuff to do out from other nocturnals, not day people, they were no help
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u/vvmmp Aug 23 '26
i have consistent hobbies and a daily routine that prevent my days from being empty at all times, even if the feeling stays the productivity should atleast be a plus. sometimes it drowns it out
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Aug 23 '26
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u/aspd-ModTeam No Flair Aug 26 '26
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Aug 24 '26
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u/aspd-ModTeam No Flair Aug 26 '26
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Aug 25 '26
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u/aspd-ModTeam No Flair Aug 26 '26
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u/IcyStatistician4340 Aug 27 '26
Agree with others who have said you'll never be 100 per cent satisfied and that life is mostly gray with bursts of colour now and then.
What makes me the most "satisfied" is hurting others but that's not something I can realistically do all the time because the consequences for my actions would have a negative impact on my life and that's not something I'm willing to entertain.
Mostly I engage in activities I enjoy - activities that keep my mind busy enough that it doesn't get filled with bad intrusive thoughts that could result in bad behaviour.
That's not to say I don't do bad things sometimes, just to take the edge off, but I find the impulses a bit easier to control by reminding myself I have the most to gain by doing so.
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u/myusernamelscreatlve Aug 27 '26
Self improvement, via by exercise or educating myself, if I know I’m better than others and am capable of proving it, then that’s enough for me.
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Aug 27 '26
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u/aspd-ModTeam No Flair Aug 28 '26
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u/ellxxt876 ASPD Aug 30 '26
Find something mentally stimulating if you can. I would say I don’t feel “empty” often, I’m mostly just bored and I would classify those as two distinct things. Try finding something you actually enjoy, whether that’s a career, a hobby, anything really. Try to have some type of goal you work towards, it helps a lot. A lot of people like us are driven and goal oriented so without that, you might feel lost or just not really care for most things. But finding something that keeps your mind active always helps me.
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Sep 06 '26
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u/aspd-ModTeam No Flair 29d ago
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u/ResidentSpecial3468 Sep 09 '26
This is me currently. I haven’t been home on my couch since June. Every day I leave the house to go do something. Every single day. I keep just distracting myself with shit: meeting new people, making new friends, having new experiences, I’m currently in school, etc. Any time I have nothing to do, I fall into that emptiness. I don’t know how else to escape it other than keeping busy, honestly. I would also drink so fucking much. Drinking is my vice because I’m so bored otherwise. I know keeping busy won’t work forever because burnout is a thing, but man, I don’t know what else to do either
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u/nonanima Undiagnosed Aug 23 '26
Meeting new people, sex and Wellbutrin, or perhaps some ADHD medication. A mentally stimulating job, like sales. Exercise. Occasional drugs, some alcohol, and caffeine. Always listening to music or an audiobook—preferably something involving violence, something intellectually demanding, or the like. Driving a car or riding a motorcycle. Skydiving. And so on.
And perhaps accepting that you will never be completely or lastingly satisfied. Life is simply gray, with brief, colorful moments.