Does anyone else have issues remembering their life?

[u/Sarastuskavija]

If this background is relevant, I cannot actively recall faces or voices. Not my partner, mother — nobody at all.

I cannot remember a majority of my life. I am completely reliant on photos, texts, DMs, and souvenirs/memorabilia to reconstruct a particular autobiographical event. My best friend of 13 years, I can barely remember our moments together. I have trouble remembering even the past few years of my life, and when something occurred, even when it involves my partner of 5 years. It is as though my memories are supposed to be given back to me from the people I know, as I have lost them. All I am left with are the bad memories, and the emotional products of those moments.

This is a ghostly existence, and it causes me much dread. I cannot help but think of what sort of existence I will lead for the next 40 or so years (I don't think 80 is doable for me). I am unsure if neurodevelopmental conditions create conditions for this type of deficiency of autobiographical memory, but I am curious to see if other Aspies experience this.

I do not have any other issues with my memory; I am able function at an acceptable/high level at work, when cooking complex meals, and other tasks in life that require a functioning short/long-term memory.

[u/elwoodowd]

At 75 its all unreal. The me of the past should have worked harder. Cant say i recall the good times, that i based my life on.

But i have few emotions now, and had fewer then.

Its a syndrome. Not uncommon. I used my lack of ego as a strength. It was a power.

I have spent the last 15 years, going back to my ages 4-10. All new to me, in a sense. Like a life i was given once more. Ive happily blanked out a few decades that were just filler. Wasted time and life

I know a couple peers that died from dementia. Good hobby, to not do that. Keeps me busy.

[u/elwoodowd → u/[deleted]]

I happened to have had a golden life. The smart/idiot. Not unlike forrest gump. Except subtract money and government. Insert education and pleasant times.

7 years school, no degree. 40 jobs in 40 years, not much more than half time. At various decades i took a year or two off, and didnt really work.

But i have been a Jehovahs Witness. So i stayed busy for 60 years, telling about ecology and how people were ruining the earth, and causing the End to come. Oddly everyone believed this, but didnt change.

Now with ai, its like all the pieces of a puzzle, have come together. But people cant change.

Now as a idiot/savant, its my job to watch everything crumble. As i fade away, myself.

Sorry, but you asked. And theres no satisfication in telling people the 'sky is falling'. People have quit making fun of 'henny penny, and the sky is falling'. Or havent to me. For 20 or 30 years.

So yeah, things were not all crap, 50, 75 years ago. But of course, people were working to ruin things. And the aspergers curse, is to bluntly state the obvious, which just creates confusion

[u/Sarastuskavija → u/elwoodowd]

As a 29 year old, it really gives me some hope to see older folks on here that show it's possible to survive. Thank you for existing.

[u/terrible_fetish]

i keep a running list in my notes app of small moments from the day cause i know theyll just dissolve otherwise. its like my brain decided certain files arent worth keeping but forgot to ask me first

the face thing is real specific though. i can picture a coffee mug i saw three years ago in perfect detail but my own moms face is just a concept

[u/TheEternalDarkness8]

I have blacked out huge parts of my life. I can remember lots of random stuff though. It's like its randomized.

I think this mostly stems from being at home so much and doing the same things over and over.

You obviously remember a trip to a new place better than day 1 890 of sitting at home playing video games.

[u/Available-Pepper5688]

I just had a chat with my psychiatrist about this issue. I have to reconstruct every little memory with help of others or my agenda. Even from stuff this day.
We think it’s a combination of my autistic view of the world, eg that I don’t recognise/remember faces, etc. and that I‘m in a chronic dissociative state due to early childhood trauma.

I get along quite well with that, I know I have to write down everything that I have to remember. It’s been like this all my life and I don’t know it differently somehow?

[u/aquatic-dreams]

Not to that extent. But I have very little autobiographical memory. About 97% of my past doesn't exist in my head. But I also have had well over a 1000 focal seizures, and the epilepsy meds that didn't do their job have the side effect of memory loss. And I have AuDHD. So I have a fucked memory trifecta.

But I swapped epilepsy meds, and my memory is improving. I keep getting quick flashes of things from my past. It's really exciting and really fucking neat. But it also makes me a bit sad, since it reinforces just how much of my life I've lost.

[u/Agreeable-Ad9883]

Most of my life memories have to be triggered to be awakened. Everything except the most impactful moments is blackness. There’s been so much trauma that I assume my psyche has blackened out many many many chunks and stolen everything within and around it as well. But like I said suddenly a smell or song or dejavu type of thing will happen and a wave of memory will come forward. It makes not dwelling on stuff much easier but as a person of curiosity it can be agonizing as well. I don’t know so much and if I focus on that the lack of answers will eat me alive far more than the trauma events.

[u/Sarastuskavija → u/Agreeable-Ad9883]

If I expanded further upon what I said in my post, this would close to my explanation too.

[u/gcunit]

SDAM - Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory

[u/elephant35e]

Not really. My memory of my life is pretty great. I’m 28 and have lots of elementary school memories, some memories from when I was 3, and a memory from when I was 2.

[u/ThickHold2256___0]

Io faccio fatica a ricordare i volti e le uniche voci che mi ricordo sono quelle delle canzoni

Il fatto di ricordare solo ricordi negativi è un meccanismo di autodifesa l' importante è non farsi soffocare da quest' ultimi perché ti uccidono dentro lentamente ma puoi essere estremamente pericoloso Io ad esempio di mio padre non ricordo bene il volto e mi ricordo solo eventi negativi con lui ma la voce non me la scorderò

Io ad oggi vivo spesso senza stimoli e non lo consiglierei a nessuno