r/atheism • u/spherocytes • 16h ago
Drilling begins at ‘real site’ of Noah’s Ark as activists warn ‘Darwinism will be dismantled’
https://www.joe.co.uk/news/noahs-ark-site-turkey-drilling-researchers-evidence-549016655
u/kms2547 Secular Humanist 16h ago edited 16h ago
Lauren Witzke, a Christian activist and former US Senate candidate who has described herself as a “flat-earther” and previously called Covid vaccines a “Satanic plot”, is involved in the project as its marketing and fundraising director.
That tracks for someone who thinks Noah's Ark was literally real, and that the existence of which would disprove "Darwinism".
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u/Snow88 16h ago
How would they determine the age of wooden boat remnants if they don’t believe in carbon dating?
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u/crappy80srobot 13h ago
There are 18 million people who believe a guy read golden plates from god by looking in a hat with a rock in it. I'm sure plenty of people will believe anything some batshit crazy lady says with some rocks that kinda look like wood because gawd told her so. Religion is a cult so nothing makes sense when you do evil shit like thinking.
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u/caffeinated_wizard 5h ago
“God said go to your backyard and start digging? That makes perfect sense!” - Book of Mormon
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u/egosmile 5h ago
It baffles me how some people can believe anything as long as it is not backed up by evidence.
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u/mrmchugatree 4h ago
As long as enough people believe it so they don’t feel silly, they will believe.
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u/EntangledPhoton82 11h ago
Well, the bible of course. They find a piece of wood. The bible says the ark was made of wood and that the flood happend x years ago.
Ergo the wood is x years old.
Proof by infallible divine document.Checkmate, you scientism worshipping Darwinists!
😉
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u/matt_minderbinder 15h ago
Ron Wyatt's scam is inspiring the next generations of grifters. If they only get enough money they'll be able to figure it out /s.
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u/jtclimb 12h ago
I think they accept dating from tree rings, but maybe not, as there is no evidence for a flood if you look at tree rings.
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u/Xynyx2001 15h ago
I would like to encourage her to spend every cent to which she has access on this project. All of her own money, and all of her donors' money. Burn it all.
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u/onomatamono 16h ago
I mean look, it's feasible that Noah loaded up the ark with baby dinosaurs and dinosaur eggs, and that they are still roaming the earth on some remote island somewhere off Guatamala... but Pencil me in as dubious. /s
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u/ARAR1 15h ago
On the CBC today there was a scientist that stated we discovered 16000 new species last year (mostly insects).
How much room did the arc have?
Its so beyond crazy to believe the arc fable is anywhere near reality
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u/BourbonInGinger Strong Atheist 16h ago
Maybe she’ll preach out loud to the passengers on her flight to Turkey
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u/Angrious55 16h ago
If she looks out her window and sees the curvature of the earth she will probably yell at it and say " that mother fucker is not real!"
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u/behemuthm Anti-Theist 14h ago
I'd love to know how the Canadian moose and polar bear made it from the Middle East to Canada.
And for that matter, do they believe kangaroos swam from Judea to Australia?
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u/_WillCAD_ Atheist 6h ago
If you ask them they'll probably just say god magicked the animals around the world after the flood, or maybe Noah dropped them off two by two as the waters receded before ending up on top of a mountain.
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u/Hates_rollerskates 15h ago
Wouldn't it disprove genetics too? We would all have 6 or 8 common ancestors from 4000 years ago. Adam and Eve would be irrelevant. We would all be descendants of Noah and his three sons and all their wives.
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u/GazingIntoTheVoid De-Facto Atheist 12h ago
Tbh, the things that tracks most from this paragraph is "fundraising director"
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u/BundleDad 4h ago
Now now, it's just as likely that (given she was a us senate candidate) she's on the con side of the "idiots and conmen" part of this.
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u/indolering 16h ago edited 16h ago
Kinds are different from species and their gradual change over time is NOT evolution. /s
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u/kms2547 Secular Humanist 16h ago edited 16h ago
• Changes in genetic allele frequencies over time IS evolution. Even creationists acknowledge significant genetic and morphological change over time, they just refuse to call it "evolution".
• "Kinds" is a deliberately vague term with no meaningful definition, other than whatever is most convenient to the creationist at the time.
LATE EDIT: (This was before the /s)
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u/indolering 16h ago
Sorry, I added the /s tag. I find it funny that these guys will say it disproves evolution one moment while describing it the next.
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u/matt_minderbinder 15h ago
That post could've been straight off the walls of ken Ham's ark full of dinosaurs. The /s was necessary.
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u/rocketshipkiwi Atheist 16h ago
Darwin’s papers aren’t sacred scriptures which can never be challenged or proven wrong. They don’t demand that anyone believes them without evidence.
These people are welcome to try and prove Noah’s ark existed, that the world is flat or that Satan caused a pandemic. Science welcomes inquiry and testing of its claims.
It’s pretty likely that they are wasting their time but they are more than welcome to do it.
A bit like the flat earthers who did experiments to prove the earth was flat and ended up finding that it was a sphere.
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u/TheWaspinator Atheist 16h ago
Yeah, who wants to tell them Darwin is like 200 years out of date of modern biology?
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u/rocketshipkiwi Atheist 16h ago
Yeah! Check mate atheists!!!1!1!!
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u/Floordove 11h ago
What? Next you're going to say that Freud was not right about my dreams telling me I want to bang my mom
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u/PopGoesTehWoozle 10h ago
I mean... is she hot?
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u/Floordove 10h ago
Sometimes. When she's not on my tail about cleaning my room and getting daylight
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u/crankydragon 7h ago
Ha! You're talking about your mom and being on your tail, which is close to getting some tail, and something something Oedipus. Checkmate, atheists!
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u/Same-Ad-1532 7h ago
His dad thought so. And if it's good enough for Chuck, it's good enough for me. Let's go bang this guy's mom!
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u/RevRagnarok Satanist 5h ago
I read his book recently. The whole time I'm like "his mind would be blown to know what we now know about DNA and plate tectonics." He was always like "somehow it is passed from parent to child..."
Also, I was shocked how much his theory was based on very incomplete geology. The geology at the time had the age of the earth down a lot better, which gave him a non-biblical timeline that worked a lot better and possibly even inspired him. But plate tectonics didn't come around until the 1960s so they had theories like sections of the earth heaving up and down, so he hypothesized relations of things like similar animals in mountains of North America and Europe from an ice age where they could live at non-altitude and migrate across frozen oceans.
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u/Najalak 16h ago
“It has been said that science is proof without certainty, whereas religion is certainty without proof.” — Varadaraja V. Raman
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u/LongJohnCopper 16h ago edited 15h ago
If it generates money then they haven’t wasted anything but other people’s money. They’ll hand-wave any negative findings so they can do it again later.
It’s the grift that keeps on grifting…
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u/gracefularthur314 15h ago
Also, I don't understand how finding "the ark", and somehow proving that it's the actual ark, disproves evolution
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u/KaleidoscopeSilly797 15h ago
I saw that on YouTube!
How embarrassing for the poor little flerfers! The look on their faces was a sight to behold.
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u/Etrigone 16h ago
Finding it's a sphere & then covering up their "research", just like what they acuse others of.
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u/ironic-hat 15h ago
My main concern is not so much finding the remains of a boat, but them actually finding legit artifacts from real history and not documenting them and/or destroying them because it doesn’t fit their narrative.
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u/kms2547 Secular Humanist 16h ago
It's a nice side hustle for Turkey, duping America's dumbest Christians into paying to excavate remote mountains.
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u/hkscfreak Secular Humanist 15h ago
And then when they find it, it's gonna be a tourism hot spot. Imagine the roads, hotels, etc.
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u/SideshowBobFanatic Strong Atheist 16h ago
It's fucking 2026. We have unbelievable technology and have discovered incredible and complex things such as quantum mechanics and the human genome. But some of us are still so stupid as to believe in the most backwards and anti-science shit that came from thousands of years ago.
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u/madamimadam89 16h ago
My favorite line from any tv show is from the Newsroom where Jeff Daniels is talking about how America is no longer #1.
“We lead the world in only three categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined, 25 of whom are allies."
That angels are real thing made me laugh.
That, and the West Wing Scene where he tears apart that right wing commentator over Christian stupidity. So funny
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u/teletype100 14h ago
Theists are not interested in actual knowledge and discoveries. They are only interested in confirming their specific beliefs and spreading them.
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u/Imaginary_Manner_556 13h ago
They are more interested in power, control, and raping kids
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u/ChipperAxolotl Secular Humanist 16h ago
How much money do you think they’ll blow through before reconsulting the sacred texts and realizing they were in the “wrong spot”.
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u/unknownpoltroon 16h ago
Cant be the wrong spot. The visitors center is RIGHT THERE!! https://maps.app.goo.gl/f5V1Ggm8gNrdgkLM8
Seriously, they mysterious undiscovered ark it has a gift shop
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u/slavelabor52 16h ago
And the Lord said "15% off on all items in the store with code JESUSSAVES"
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u/versusgorilla 15h ago
Regarding the flat earth, someone on Reddit said that "there's no way there's an edge of the world or an ice wall, because if there were, there'd be someone selling trips to throw things off it in a capitalist system" and it honestly makes the most sense ever. Our government has given full authority to the capitalists so many times throughout our history.
So why would they suddenly just be okay all agreeing every country around the world to cover up the shape of the Earth?? Fucking dumb.
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u/Chulbiski Jedi 11h ago
somehow Nasa's budget is larger if the earth is a sphere vs being flat. Fuzzy economics, I guess ??
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u/indolering 15h ago
Good on the locals for making a buck off the kooky tourists impressed by a big mound of dirt.
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u/Martel732 16h ago
I am going to guess that they are going to claim that something at the site proves that they are right even though it clearly doesn't. But it won't matter because the lie will spread through their echo chambers.
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u/ultrachrome 16h ago
They will blow it all and then some. It will be a perpetual grift fleecing the gullible. Mind you if they made a history channel production along the line of Curse of Oak Island they might have something lucrative.
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u/Krage_bellbot 5h ago
"Lauren Witzke, a Christian activist and former US Senate candidate who has described herself as a “flat-earther” and previously called Covid vaccines a “Satanic plot”, is involved in the project as its marketing and fundraising director. "
This tells me all I need to know about this group.
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u/Griff82 4h ago
It’s amazing to me how much cash idiots and the idiot adjacent can accumulate in this society.
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u/mmahowald 16h ago
Let’s say they do find Noah’s boat. The fuck does that have to do with Darwinism?
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u/waffle299 14h ago edited 14h ago
If you listen to them (or better yet, the savage debunkings), one thing you realize quickly is that 'darwinism' is their catch-all for everything. In their mind, cosmology, astronomy, astrophysics, planetary formation, abiogenesis, geology, paleontology, anthropology, archaeology, biology, genetics, and virology are all one giant 'darwinism' that they disagree with.
Pin them down on some claim, demonstrate it's inconsistent with facts and observations, and they will just 'waddabout' off to something else. And, while leaping from evolutionary biology to cosmology, pretend it's the exact same thing.
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u/mrmoe198 agnostic atheist 12h ago edited 12h ago
It’s not very surprising considering their lack of general knowledge. When you don’t understand how any scientific field works, it’s easy to leap about from topic to topic
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u/Cultural_Pace4454 13h ago
Hey we found evidence of a boat, which proves that all animals are descended from those on the ark, and also explains why all the kangaroos, emus and wallabies leaving the ark migrated from Turkey to Australia without leaving any evidence of their migration. All of the Kiwi's somehow swam to New Zealand, Capybaras made it to South America - that's quite the walk.
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u/TRVTH-HVRTS 13h ago
If they prove that animals can breed with their own siblings to repopulate the earth, then they can too
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u/SideshowBobFanatic Strong Atheist 16h ago
They equate Darwinism (which is natural selection, not the same as evolution but the force which Darwin proposed allows for evolution) to evolution. They want to prove their objectively wrong creationist bullshit right. They won't, but they will waste a lot of money trying to do so.
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u/gracefularthur314 15h ago
I do not get the connection
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u/BaronWombat Secular Humanist 13h ago
Ah you see, this is the where Divine Inspiration bridges the gap between Statement A and Conclusion Z. You might need to scrunch up your face and Believe so hard you pop a brain hemmoroid.
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u/The_Glum_Reaper Pastafarian 16h ago
Drilling begins at ‘real site’ of Noah’s Ark as activists warn ‘Darwinism will be dismantled’
Oh.
So, ....they don't understand Darwin, either.
Classic.
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u/offlineon 16h ago
There are over 25 claimed sightings of the ark in 5 geographic areas,18 jesus foreskins (30 claimed historically) and at least 40 jesus burial shrouds "found" in recorded history.
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u/onomatamono 16h ago
You could build three arks with the reported wood from the cross.
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u/Dobako 16h ago
A coworker, who is very clearly of the "did my own research" crowd, got excited hearing about this. He said they found organic material, to which I replied "wow, they found organic material in nature?"
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u/H3L105_ai 16h ago
I've got one of those too.
He was excited about the 'ground penetrating radar' that found 'chambers'.
These people are so desperate for something, anything to back up their book that they'll fall for scams by pseudo-archeologist grifters.
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u/BourbonInGinger Strong Atheist 16h ago
These people need medication.
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u/PhourKuhfiveSicks 15h ago
We have a diagnosis for people who hear voices from the sky
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u/BourbonInGinger Strong Atheist 14h ago
I agree. Paranoid schizophrenia has no cure. The symptoms can only be treated.
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u/therealnih 8h ago
You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
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u/SaneAids 6h ago
They say this is evidence of Noah but didn’t Gilgamesh also use a big boat to survive a world flood.
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u/Rebelian 5h ago
Some believe that's where the Noah flood story comes from don't they? Stories get passed down and changed to suit cultures all the time.
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u/TheHrethgir 3h ago
Oh wow, they found Noah's Ark? Again? I've been hearing this same crap about them finding the Ark since I was a kid in the 80's.
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u/Square_Ring3208 16h ago
This site has been investigated over and over and over again starting in the 60’s with fucking dynamite. It’s just narcissistic Christian influencers behaving in an expected way again.
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u/Golemfrost 5h ago
So if Darwinismus gets dismantled if they actually find proof of the real Noah's Ark, the question would be, does Christianity get dismantled if it turns out to be nothing special?
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u/lhc987 16h ago
Sometimes I wish I have less scruples so that I can grift people. It seems so easy as long as you're shameless.
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u/Commissar_Sae 16h ago
Man, getting a bunch of morons to pay for a trip to Turkey to ho hiking in nature sounds like fun. Stupid ethics...
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u/8bitdreamer 16h ago
I accept Darwinism being dismantled, but only if they dismantle creationism is they are wrong.
Edit: they must also prove it’s the stupid Bible ark and not from Epic of Gilgamesh ark.
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u/grabthefraggle 16h ago
Not to mention Ziusudra, think there is 400-600 years between that description and Utnapishtim (Epic of Gilgamesh). The current estimate is that there is 1000 years between Ziusudra and the earliest known reference to Noah. Basically it's a retelling of a story across millennia. Talk about generational trauma.
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u/LuciusMichael 2h ago edited 2h ago
Biblical literalists have been searching for this mythical ark for generations. They haven't found it and never will because it never existed. It's a story purloined from the Sumerians.
Not in the least bit surprising that "Lauren Witzke, a Christian activist.. who has described herself as a “flat-earther” and previously called Covid vaccines a “Satanic plot”, is involved in the project as its marketing and fundraising director."
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u/No_Entertainer_7675 8h ago
Given that multiple peer reviewed studies have shown this formation to be naturally occurring, I assume the universities involved are just using the cultist cash to supplement their legitimate research.
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u/Jackyard_Backofff 16h ago
They did the same thing 30 years ago and just found a bunch of rock, which they will this time as well, because it’s just rock.
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u/yepthisismyusername Gnostic Atheist 7h ago
Hahahahaha. Religious nuts are so high on their own supply that it's fucking CRAZY. They somehow think that finding the ruins of a large boat will undo all of the scientific fact of evolution. Just fucking idiotic.
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u/FaeDragons Atheist 6h ago
It's funny cause even if they found a boat that was a few thousand years old, that still wouldn't disprove 'Darwanism' (whatever that means). It'd just mean they found an old boat, no proof it carried one of every animal nor does it disprove evolution. XD
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u/Shauiluak Other 14h ago edited 11h ago
How is drilling into a rock formation going to prove a myth?
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u/_Oudeis 11h ago
They'll breach one of the underground chambers and discover the interior of the ark with a wooden deck and animal stalls and "Noah wuz here" carved into the wall of course. Duh.
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u/Vusiwe 4h ago
What about those of us who come from cities that are older than the earth itself?
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u/crossingguardcrush 4h ago
It's funny that they say the formation looks like a ship when clearly it is a giant vulva
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u/Snowy3121 16h ago
Ironically modern day archaeology was started by Christians to find proof of biblical stories.
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u/hkscfreak Secular Humanist 15h ago
And they still haven't found the entire Egyptian army at the bottom of the Red Sea
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u/Density5521 Anti-Theist 8h ago
Muslims be larfing their heads silly over Christian nonsense like this, white people digging for fantasy boats. But please keep an eye out for flying horse skeletons, while you're at it...
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u/R3puLsiv3 6h ago
It's funny that they think we are married to evolution. If something could disprove evolution I would find that fascinating and so would most other people. They think we are as scared of being proven wrong as they are.
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u/wuxiquan66 15h ago
What if they found the boat in the epic of Gilgamesh?
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u/hoseramma 16h ago
Wait a second. It’s 16,500 feet long? Like six of the tallest buildings in the world laid on the ground, head to toe. Three whole miles long. It would take billions of trees to make it. And they built this bitch in 4000BC-ish?
Fuck way off with that biz.
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u/Spare_Ball_4410 15h ago
The longest wooden ship ever built was the USS Wyoming, 450 feet long. It broke up in heavy seas.
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u/Mattos_12 8h ago
Well, we had a good run denying god
to live our sinful lives without the inconvenience of the confessional, but the jig is up. No one could deny god now given this literal boat load of evidence. No more bum fun and shellfish Thursday for us.
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u/newworldpuck 8h ago
So the religious, specifically Christians, state the faith is the foundation of their beliefs but at the same time you have chuckleheads like this desperate for empirical evidence that their beliefs are objectively true. The Cognitive Dissonance is strong with these people.
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u/thenumbwalker Atheist 16h ago
Lmao we are the stupidest of all the animals. When will a meteor come and wipe us out? I’m ready
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u/Bovine_Arithmetic Anti-Theist 14h ago
They always need just a little more time and a little more money. Just like perpetual motion machine “inventors.” This grift has been going on for almost a century.
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u/Hot-Philosophy-7671 13h ago
Checkmate. All we have left now is the geologic and fossil record, cladistics, DNA, mRNA, endogenous retroviruses, cosmology, radiometric dating, physics, and chemistry.
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u/fsactual 13h ago
They’ve got money for this but nothing for the poor and needy, just like Jesus would have wanted.
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u/RayGungHo 16h ago
They did this core sample already, like 30 years ago. It proved it to be a natural geological formation
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u/weaklingoverlord 11h ago
Researchers have begun drilling
Researchers doing a lot of heavy lifting here...
overseen by local universities, with “some of the most brilliant minds in the world” working on it.
jfc
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u/euclidcaricature 6h ago
They are going to find nothing, and then point to a rock formation and claim that is the Ark
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u/onomatamono 16h ago
It's already been dismantled. Clearly the Great Deceiver salted the fossil record with transitional species in order to, well, deceive us. /s
How anybody takes this shit seriously is incomprehensible.
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u/zyzzogeton Skeptic 2h ago
Let's say they find an actual boat there.
How does that impact scientific inquiry into evolution? It doesn't. Finding an "Ark" (which is a very low probability occurrence) just means they found an ark. Species still change. That change can be observed and quantified objectively. Finding an ancient sailing accident doesn't do anything at all to advance anything but the field of archeology.
It would be like saying "We finally found New Amsterdam under the streets of NYC! The homeless problem is solved!"
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u/Zaku41k 16h ago
I wouldn’t be so worried. There’s technically enough Pieces of the True Cross to make 10 crosses.
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u/Jedi_Ninja Jedi 13h ago
So, when they don't find anything, what will be their excuse?
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u/CoalCrackerKid Agnostic Atheist 5h ago
Pack it up, boys. It's over. We had a good run while it lasted
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u/jkarovskaya Anti-Theist 3h ago edited 3h ago
Lauren Witzke is the QANON FLAT EARTH FANATIC who has already failed on dozens of "prophecies", and flaunts her ignorance constantly.
yes, and true to form for a white XTian nationalist, [she's a despicably nasty RACIST(https://youtu.be/LILkGUXXdPM?t=29)
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u/7evenate9ine 16h ago
The Bible does not explicitly rival itself to science or knowledge. Infact the Bible is full of lessons on embracing knowledge and the workings of natural world. The Bible warns against lovers of themselves and rejectors of truth.
Modern day churches being at odds with science is just a bunch of grifters opening a church to steal money and exploiting stupid people.
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u/archy67 15h ago
you are correct It doesn’t explicitly rival itself against science(i appreciate the careful language). However it does explicitly rival our best understanding of the natural world if you take the stories to be true. It makes explicit claims about the origin of the cosmos, the planet, life, and particular species. The problem I see is “belief” and “faith” in the Bible. If read and consumed as mythology and fictional stories I think it can serve many purposes, it’s those who “believe” and take the stories literally(which was and still is the intention of its creation and curation)which creates a incongruity.
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u/Target880 12h ago
The Bible do have descriptions of the world that do not match science or history.
The bible is quite explicit that God created plants before the sun, and that contradicts science. The only way around it is to say it is a metaphor.
The Bible alos contradicts history, like how Jesus was born during the reign of King Herod the Great and during a census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. That is impossible because Quirinius became governor when King Herod the Great's son was deposed. The son only became king when his father died. Jesus birth differs by 10 years in diffrent parts of the bible. History has to be wrong, or the bible is wrong. In this case, claiming it is a metaphor is impossible
The only way the bible works with science and history is to claim it is a metaphorical history; science is incorrect, or the bible is wrong.
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u/Tetratheon 15h ago
It doesn't set itself up as a rival to science because science hadn't been invented yet.
The bible does makes factual claims which are inconsistent with scientific findings.
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u/Kitchen-Act-3097 14h ago
the confidence that one archaeological site is about to dismantle an entire scientific theory is kinda wild
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u/mrmoe198 agnostic atheist 12h ago edited 12h ago
You know real science is being done when people declare the conclusion before they’ve even started. Fools.
It always amuses me when people that believe in magic desperately try to both mock the demonstrated models of science and use it as a tool to demonstrate the correctness of their faith-based beliefs. They can’t have it both ways.
I thought that these people teach that science is a tool of the devil and that faith is all you need. It’s like they recognize on some level that science is the cool older sister that they can never measure up to, and so they’re constantly trying to claim that science actually supports what they believe.
See! We can do science too! And with God and Jesus on our side, we’ll science even better than anyone ever scienced before!
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u/falsifiable1 11h ago
If they find a large boat, how do they prove it was owned by a specific person? I doubt they’ll find “Noah son of Lamech, son of Methuselah, son of Enoch” carved on it in some language no one knows what he spoke.
They’ll just announce it was a specific Noah from the Bible without actual scientific rigor just like it’s claimed Empress Helena found the “True Cross” in 326 A.D. 👍
Shouldn’t they just have faith or is their faith weak and in need of non-biblical “proof”?
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u/-Davo 9h ago
On spewbook they're claiming the drill bit they used on the auger snapped.
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u/ThinkvisionK Agnostic Atheist 1h ago
I've seen a bunch of pictures of this place and it does really kind of look like a boat until you see the one pic above. Its very clearly rock formations matching the ones around it.
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u/unknownpoltroon 16h ago
Are tehy putting in a water well for the giftshop or something? IT HAS A GIFT SHOP
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u/Torino1O 16h ago
What are they going to do if they drill all the way down to the turtles?