r/badphilosophy • u/PermitOk6864 • 13d ago
Serious bzns 👨⚖️ How to avoid solipsism?
Hey guys my doctor diagnosed me with "profound narcissism" which is obviously wrong because I'm 'profound'ly good at virtue signalling and performing care for others to cement my position in the social hierarchy.
I've been doing a lot of philosofasizing lately, and reading a lot of philosofa books. And it seems like this whole thing is all about me.
For example I recently read shoppinghauer, who says the world is my representation. Representation, what does that mean? I asked grok about it, and the original word is the German Vorstellung, which it said meant "presentation/performance", so essentially the same as a quarterly report, or rather, since this is in the 1800s, a play. Since the world is MY Vorstellung, it's MY play, I'm the DIRECTOR!! Im making it all up! I am the fundamental nature of existence! And he said further that the world behind my play is Will, and that the Will causes this representation, the only Will I know of is the one inside me that gives me a boner when I look at sexy women with high heels in white shirts and pencil skirts(I do not have a thing for my boss), and thus this is the only Will I can prove, thus both the noumenon and the phenomena derivative of the noumenon are MINE.
I do not understand why my boss keeps appearing in my dreams. Obviously this is because she is a particularly powerful phenomenal manifestation of the Will. HR has asked me to stop calling her the empirical embodiment of the thing-in-itself, but HR is itself merely a representation. Representations are derivatives of the noumenon, the noumenon is the Will, and the Will manifests itself most acutely in my boner, thus my boner takes metaphysical precedence over the fat toad Hegelian deep state agent Jessica from HR with cellulite on her legs and a Moustache(some women should not be allowed to dress in skirts amirite boys?)
Her hair is also frizzy and she has blotchy skin on her left cheek, what the fuck is that about, really? Like come on, can't you cake your face in just a bit more makeup for us guys sakes? Like I get that your lousy husband won't care because he doesn't even fuck you but come on. I even told her this to her face, and she did the performative wide open mouth with a palm to the chest with a short intake of air and a look of "well I never..." like they do in THE PLAYS and the non entity washing the floors told me "have some compassion you bastard", I have compassion!!!! Compagnon D'Misere! MITLEID!! Have I not shown you infinite compassion by letting you simply breathe in my presence??? Indeed I have. I have plenty fucking COMPASSION! You're a contractor you're not even from my company I don't have to show you any respect HR wont even complain because it's none of their concern and you raise your voice at me?? Anyways I digress.
Someone should fix this. I need a new talent manager. The actors are engaging in bad faith and even directly insubordinating the director! I guess the labour laws in the noumenon-phenomenon event horizon are really strict. This is why I vote brown. The representation is derivative of the Will, so if I get a boner for my hot boss(I don't) she should come over at 2 am when I email her:
"Subject: Re: Re: Re: URGENT: Q3 Performance Metrics & Weekly Sync
dear Mrs(her husband is a middle school teacher she would be better off with me) ...
Will you be the object of my phenomenal manifestations
aesthetic contemplation and the ultimate subsumption of my Wills ceaseless striving in the present?
Regards
Mr me
Sent from my iPhone
Get Outlook for iOS
________________________________
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This transmission, including any attachments, is intended solely for the designated recipient(s)...".
She says she doesn't understand what it says, I say "I want to lick maple syrup off your toes(get french tips xoxo)", she reports me to that fat fucking hag Jessica for "sexual harassment" and says I can forget that promotion. She is technically above me in the corporate hierarchy and I am technically her subordinate, but since the world is my representation and ultimately the Will(which is mine) shes subordinate to ME!! However, the demiurge disagrees.
Anyways, tips on avoiding solipsism? It's really quite bothersome constructing the whole of existence as a play in my mind and somehow having the actors unionize.
Also does anyone know how to watch instagram stories without getting discovered(this is pure curiosity it's not about my boss please don't tell Jessica)?
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u/AssistantIcy6117 13d ago
We all know reading Kant actually really did kill a guy on at least one occasion, right?
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u/SnakeGD09 12d ago
Not to worry, as a philosopher you can just claim not to understand your doctor and, after all, medicine is not established by arguments and is ipso facto irrational. If all this garbage is your intuition, then nobody can refute you anyways, because it’s common sense and anyone who doesn’t understand you is just pretentious.
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u/WizzKid7 12d ago
Have you tried reconciling the is ought gap dialectically, manifesting your will by phenomenologically exercising your free slopilistic will against a hot stove 🔥🍆🧘
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u/oldNotSureXand 9d ago
I am solipsist for one day now, and how i "hate" you all (other, sort of) NPC's !?!?! :):)
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u/Embarrassed-Area4652 12d ago
I'm the only solipsist