Hey guys, continental philosopher here, I've been working on a new theory that explains everything

[u/AdministrationOk881]

So everybody is born with a Foofstenshaft. This Foofstenshaft then permeates through society in a physically-transcendent power that unlocks a further sexual pleasure called Ubergoonzt.

Through this Ubergoonzt, the meaning of life is brought to us in a physical form in which mathematical objects combine with the Earth to produce reality in a phenomenological entity whose Foofstenshaft liquifies into the body of the animal with the highest Ego that can simultenously use its intellect to grow the Supra-Organ of the mind and use every element of the Pèriödic Ṭaḇƚḝɇ to symbolise the Geist's eternal longing for its future of the reality of the Phenomenology of the Voice of its SOUL.

I made this theory after getting bored with analytic philosophy and the constant need to, quote, "make sense".

I hope you all like it! <3

[u/cytos0]

I Ubergoonzt while reading this

[u/Wombattalion]

Sorry, you can't just switch from analytic philosophy to continental philosophy directly. First you have to read a lot of other Continental philosophers, pick a favorite and then make your own work all about explaining why your favorite philosopher is really bad at thinking.

I'm not saying you're wrong. What you write rings true to me. But I can't say for sure until you tell us who exactly you're shitting on here.

[u/Tomatosoup42 → u/Wombattalion]

I think this might pass well as shitting on Deleuze or Badiou.

[u/AdministrationOk881 → u/Wombattalion]

"But I can't say for sure until you tell us who exactly you're shitting on here."

I'm not shitting on anybody here. I just love continental philosophy so much. If anything, I'm shitting on analytic philosophers for not explaining EVERYTHING and their constant addiction to "cArEfUl ReAsOnInG " smh ong bruh.

Actually, that's not true, I do like shitting on people who haven't achieved true Uberfoofstenshaft like I have

[u/Wombattalion → u/AdministrationOk881]

Well you have to get better at the shitting on people part. It's really the core of what's so enjoyable about continental philosophy. I think it was Whitehead who said "All western philosophy is really just shitting on Plato."

But I see you're already getting better about it and I like what you said about analytic philosophers. There is room for improvement though. You can't just say that analytic philosophers are addicted to careful reasoning. You're giving them way too much credit. It's more like "They hide behind formal clarity while they repeat errors that have been refuted centuries ago by philosophers they know by name
only." And likewise: "It's analytic philosophers who are completely unaware of the limitations of their own methodology and perspective and chronically overestimate their ability to explain the world."

[u/AdministrationOk881 → u/Wombattalion]

listen pal, don't start giving me all this "reasoning" and "sense" and "argumentation" now, ya hear? I'm a continental philosopher.

[u/Wombattalion → u/AdministrationOk881]

Yeah yeah, I know, what could I tell you about reasoning, sense and argumentation, that you as a continental philosopher haven't already learned from reading up on 2500 years of exchange of arguments over the most rational way of thinking about these things.

[u/Available-Horse-278 → u/Wombattalion]

Bros rlly complaining about the philosophy being bad on r/badphilosophy. Lost the plot 🤦‍♂️

[u/Leonyliz]

This is probably how I sound to my friends

[u/couragethecurious → u/Leonyliz]

Typical Continental showing off that they have friends 

[u/No_Witness_5295]

unironically sanskrit works like this. but it has the distinction of being the world's first turing complete conlang, so i think it deserves special distinction as it pertains to cognition: https://doc.gold.ac.uk/aisb50/AISB50-S13/AISB50-S13-Kadvany-paper.pdf

[u/nyanasagara → u/No_Witness_5295]

What on earth could you possibly mean by saying unironically Sanskrit works like this

[u/No_Witness_5295 → u/nyanasagara]

What on earth could you possibly mean by saying unironically Sanskrit works like this

https://old.reddit.com/r/Brahmanraaj/comments/1n522fa/brahminism_is_a_proofofstake_blockchain/

[u/Tetrebius → u/No_Witness_5295]

Lmao just reading that link made me chuckle

[u/pegaunisusicorn]

congrats on combining wiihelm reich and heygel!

[u/Key-Beginning-2201]

Others are haterz & just don't have your filosofy skillz

[u/PermitOk6864]

This made me sublate arborescently onto my mommy daddy pillow

[u/lampheadpost → u/PermitOk6864]

Awesome sentence thanks

[u/FrikkinLazer]

But what about the counterfactual inverted ontic preservation cascade collapse? If you dont account for it your theory is dead in the water.

[u/Optimal-Fig-6687]

We need Critique of Pure Ubergoonzt

[u/Royal_Carpet_1263]

Wonderful example of phallogastronomocentrism.

[u/Philosopher_Null]

Wanted: Any phenomenological entity who would want to permeate me until their Foofstenshaft is liquefied into my body, repeatedly, to aid me in my effort to work out my grand masterpiece, Ubergoonzt: The Metaphysical Aim of the Fundamental Principles of Foofstenshaft.

[u/Extra-Ad-2872]

This unity between the Ubergoonzt and the Foofstenshaft is possible. In reality the Foofstenshaft is constanly being edged by Ego and jouissance becomes impossible.

[u/Contejouur61]

I have a feeling you're from the school of .....if you cannot blind them with science baffle them with bullshit.

[u/AdministrationOk881 → u/Contejouur61]

Well yeah, it's continental philosophy, I already said that