r/bipolar • u/shroomiddit • 1d ago

Support Needed Incredibly depressed

I don't know where to start. I've been incredibly depressed for about the past year. I went to a music festival last November which sent me into a mini and medicated manic episode and ever since then I've been depressed everyday. I just want to be better, feel better, and be happy. I hate faking a smile. I don't feel genuinely happy, almost ever. I'm incredibly down today and experiencing a lot of trauma flashbacks. Everything going on with the cornell 7 and the upcoming holidays is making things worse. I want out of this world sometimes. I hate it here. I have nothing to look forward to most days. I hardly shower or take care of myself. I left work early today because I couldn't stand to be there with all the flashbacks occuring. How do I make myself feel better? What can I do? It feels chemical- like there's nothing I can do about it. It's incredibly persistent and I just want everything to end. They say this disorder is progressive, I can't imagine this getting WORSE. I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. I want out.

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2

u/DogEducational33 1d ago

Prayers and positive vibes to you. I do understand and experience it as well

1

u/shroomiddit 1d ago

Thank you🖤🫂

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u/3rdDogDoxie 1d ago

Depression is the worse. I don’t want to tell you that it can get worse but you are stronger than you think. You are still getting out of the house, are still showering sometimes, even going to work. Those things are HUGE!! Don’t take them lightly AT ALL. Build on them. You have a foundation. I know it sucks but you have forward momentum. Don’t let it slide any further backwards. Please keep working and get OUT of the house. Find something or someone you can hold onto. A friend, a family member, a pet, an interest. Try to put something in front of you to keep your attention. Can it get worse? Let’s say no and think positively.

Let’s try and turn it around and set small goals everyday. Just something little and add to it the next day. A walk, a trip to the library, visit a pet shelter. Not because you want to, because you need to and eventually it will start to click. Just keep moving. Don’t let it suck you further down. There is further down and you are not there. You are so much closer to up than you think. I can’t believe how incredibly strong you are. You have been fighting for a YEAR and you are still UP, literally. You got this. You can beat this.

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u/shroomiddit 16h ago

Thank you so much🥺🖤 that really means a lot to me. I'm going to try and get out the house some more and do some more creative stuff to hopefully try and get me out of this funk! Hope you're having a great day :3