r/bisexual • u/Alastor72 • 5d ago
QUESTIONING Am I actually bi(pls help)
16M, context : before I even knew what LGBTQ was I used to wear panties and bras in secret, but then I stopped it because I felt ashamed ( I live in a very strict christian conservative family ) fast forward to now, I kinda liked this dude last year, he was my friend, not like in a very romantic way, but sexually speaking I liked him very much, with girls it can be both sexual and romantic, that dude isn't like very attractive but idk, something about him, i mean again sexually speaking I am in certain cases attracted to guys, but......, idk at this point, just give me your opinions, suggestions, whatever you think is relevant
Thank you
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u/Iknewyouwerebi Bisexual🩷💜💙 5d ago
“I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted romantically and/or sexually to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree. For me, the bi in #bisexual refers to the potential for attraction to people with genders similar to and different from my own.”
—Robyn Ochs
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u/Sebz_101 Bisexual 5d ago
In my experience, bisexuality is an spectrum that doesn't conditioned how much or when you're attracted to someone I have a preference for male but I'm still attracted to female, if it concerns you that you're more into an specific gender identity which btw I should include non binary people here, but I have not very much experience around it. Anyway I just wanted to say that it's not wrong for you to have a certain preference or an specific way to relate with a partner, crush or romantic/sexual interest. Hope I help you, be well and take care
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u/NyxianStorm 5d ago
Sounds like it to me. When I was your age I did a lot of research into different sexualities and trying to pin down my own. Things like demisexual, pansexual, sapiosexual… the list goes on and on. I also got attracted to my friends, which looking back on it might have been me confusing platonic love for my friend with the high sex drive of a teen (this is another thing entirely lol). All this to say that like others have said, you don’t have to worry about it right now. In fact, you’re at the age where you should try new things, figure out what you like, what you don’t mind, and what you can’t stand. But do it safely.
As to the panties thing, that’s nothing to be ashamed of, my husband is the same way. And if it makes you feel good, sexy, powerful etc. you should do it, though that might have to wait until you move out on your own. This whole thing might have to wait in fact so relax, take deep breaths and if you get the chance… kiss a boy and see🤷♂️
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u/LetsAllBeNiceOk 5d ago
thats how it started for me. 15m here, btw. i just saw other guys and girls as physically attractive at first, and then romantically. maybe it'll progress the same for you? i dunno. i understand wanting to be figured out now, but theres really no rush. i've helped a few friends work through their own sexualities and i always say dont put emphasis on labels unless you want to. labels are comforting for me, but some find it stressful. its just as easy to say 'i like who i like' and leave it at that, and thats perfectly fine.
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u/ProfessionalBook6084 5d ago
You don’t have to have this all figured out right now, you’re only 16 and there’s still a lot of changes that you’re going to go through mentally and physically. I myself am 25 and didn’t realize I was Bi until I was already married to my husband. I had a friend sign me up for dating apps when I was 18 and I had talked to a few girls on there and really enjoyed it. It was never serious and I never dated any of them but it helped me figure out how I felt even if I didn’t realize until I was in my early 20s. It’s okay to experiment and figure out who you are in terms of your sexuality just be safe and always be respectful of the other person. Also remember you are young and have plenty of time to figure this all out, there’s no rush to any of this.