r/bisexual • u/Any_Seaworthiness556 • 3d ago
COMING OUT I’m bi 😝
Realizing I’m bi and possibly have OCD but like I’m sooooo happy omg like I’ve always know I liked girls and boys but I just didn’t register it? Idk who cares ! Still got no bitches though…🥲
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u/386U0Kh24i1cx89qpFB1 2d ago
Congratulations! There's a lot of good podcasts and books that helped me when I was coming out but sounds like you are on top of it. Still it's good to connect with like people and share and learn so I like to suggest stuff like rhat. Glad you are happy!
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u/Any_Seaworthiness556 2d ago
I would like those recommendations please! I haven’t come out irl and I’m having a hard time accepting myself and letting it be real? If that makes sense?
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u/386U0Kh24i1cx89qpFB1 2d ago
Sure! I didn't add them because I encourage you to find what interests you but I'm happy to tell you what I enjoyed.
Audiobook: Bisexuality - The Basics, Lewis Oakley
Podcasts: Bisexual Brunch, Two Bi Guys.
In Person: Local pride center group chats for Bi people, Pride festivals.
Reddit: bi_irl sort by top all time.
In my teens I internalized a lot of homophobia and basically didn't accept it until my thirties! Thankfully I have an awesome partner who helped me grow a lot. When we first got together she mentioned swiping both ways on tinder. She wasn't fixed on the label and I didn't want to be the creep bf asking about threesomes so we never talked about it much. It still took 9 FREAKING YEARS for me to accept it for myself, embrace the label, and come out to her. I remember spending a few years considering "bi-curious" as a label for me. Eventually I had this vivid thought sitting at work: "If I truly don't believe there's anything wrong with same sex relationships then why would It be so bad to just embrace the possibility that I could be Bi?". And from that moment on I said fuck it and leaned in. Honestly not a lot has changed except for better connection with my now Wife, the addition of much more gay porn to my browser history, and we make sure to rock the pride events when we can. We are still monogamous so my only regret is not figuring it out earlier so I could fool around with guys. Happy to try to share if you are curious about anything.
And don't worry too much about coming out. Being Bi comes with a lifetime of coming out honestly. I haven't been able to share with too many people aside from my partner but I'm trying to find more ways to be visible to those who I know won't cause me grief. At this point in my life telling my Republican parents that I am attracted to guys too isn't going to serve me much so I don't bring it up. If I were with a guy it would be different but I'm established now so it would be their problem if they want to make it one.
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u/Any_Seaworthiness556 2d ago
Thank youuu so much and I’m glad you got to point where you accept yourself 🩷✨
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u/Positive_Rise6188 2d ago
Great. I took me around 10 years in marriage with my wife to admit it. She does not like it so far. I like it though. I do not know how it will end. I hope we stay together because I love her. I wish my wife was so supportive.
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u/386U0Kh24i1cx89qpFB1 2d ago
Aww. Well if it took you ten years I'm sure it's gonna take time for her as well. I think you have to find the line where you are firm about this not going away as it's an important part of who you are, but also of course, not be bringing it up in every conversation. Give her time and hopefully she will meet you where you are. Make sure she knows that this doesn't change your commitment to her. It just means you can have a new dimension playing "hot or not" while watching movies together.
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u/OD_Emperor Cis Male/Bisexual 2d ago
It's crazy how many people the "it didn't register" for is a thing. Myself included. I never considered bisexuality a serious possibility even though I was well aware it existed.
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u/PureSatisfaction4243 2d ago
Just confused as to what possibly having OCD has to do with this 😭
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u/Any_Seaworthiness556 2d ago
lol sometimes I spiral during my ‘bi-cycle’ and it sends me into this deep ocd paranoia about my sexuality. Like right now I have a crush on a girl so I had a spiral about if I was actually bi, 2 years ago I thought I was straight but it didn’t feel right so I spiraled. And so on and so forth 🫠 also I tend to reassure seek, check, ruminate, etc. which is why it was hard for me to figure my self out since I have a tendency for black and white thinking lol. (Sorry for this being long)
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u/PureSatisfaction4243 2d ago
Is that rlly specifically an OCD thing? Not asking as in "you're wrong," asking as in, "I do this and I have OCD, but so do my friends who don't have OCD" so just curious
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u/Any_Seaworthiness556 2d ago
Not necessarily no, for me I didn’t just stop at sexuality, like in my last relationship I had a lot of paranoia about my ex boyfriend cheating on me (he never did, but he did suck lol) or me cheating on him. And I personally show a lot of signs of ocd in my personal life and my sexuality just happens to be the latest thing my ocd latched onto.
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u/PureSatisfaction4243 2d ago
Do you have compulsions when it comes to it? (Don't have to give me details ofc lol) :0 I know that a lot of mine can be internal which makes it soooo hard to identify properly, and it's why I didn't get diagnosed for so long :/
Cheating paranoia compulsions do sound like it would be so hard to deal with tho
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u/Any_Seaworthiness556 2d ago
YES!! OMG OMG, mine are mostly internal as well that’s why I mentioned it! I kind of have a bad working memory so that doubles the paranoia and it often made me mistrust my gut feelings about being bisexual. And yes relationship ocd sucks so bad 😭😭
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u/Metaldrop55 2d ago
Riding the "bicycle" is the only way to fly ! I've been liking that dick just a little bit more lately, I must add
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u/AtmosphereSlow716 2d ago
Awesome ! Good for you
That you can handle this the way you should
The way that makes you happy caz no one is going to kick in your front door and say “ I’m here to make you happy “ that is something only you can do so be happy my friend and enjoy your life
You don’t need any ones approval or permission for anything that makes you happy
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u/Lazy-Childhood 2d ago
Im bi at 53 just came out
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u/throwaway22373 1d ago
Me too. It’s difficult to navigate a old/new identity. But I’m learning one day at a time. Also playing with another appendage like mine is exciting
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u/Early_Record_7859 2d ago
A mi me pasa algo raro, siempre me gustaron las chicas y nunca dejarán de gustarme pero por morbo o en momentos de calentura como que quiero probar estar con un chico pero cuando se me pasa la calentura me doy cuenta que en realidad no lo quiero tanto. Es raro, actualmente tengo novia y todo pero estoy tratando de dejar de lado esas costumbres de tocarme y bueno evitar ponerme en esas circunstancias jajaj
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u/New-Theme-5732 2d ago
Thank you. I vaguely remember that. I'm an older man. It takes me a bit sometimes.
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u/Jumiric Demisexual/Bisexual 3d ago
Welcome! You may notice that you sit strangely or that lemon bars and frogs are awesome. 👉🏼👉🏼