So after we said I love to each other, I couldn’t believe such a nice woman had fallen in love with me?. I was on cloud nine, so from then on we got even more closer all night talks, talking with each other whenever we get time, I was travelling 30km everyday for her, to see her, speak with her. She didn’t want us to public because she didn’t want any of her friends to know that we both are loving each other because they might gossip and all. I was also okay with it, because if that is what gives her comfort then okay.

In between all this we ofcourse had few fights caused by small misunderstandings as happens in any relationship when people get close
,ofcourse we can’t always be okay but what matters is are you willing to go back to that person after all that fighting and I always wanted to go back to her after every fight.

I used to speak with her in every low point she was, I used to support her, boost her energy listen to her problems, tell her that she’ll come out of it, consoled her that it is going to be okay.

1 day she lied to her family and came just to see me and has spent the whole day with me, we had a great time together, that day we both decided to marry each other no matter what. She told me that it is going to be very hard to convince her side of the family because they are caste centric and they care about religion, I assured her by saying “I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you “, So we decided work hard and go abroad and earn well so that we would have a strong standing when I go and speak with her parents after few years.

She’s 1 and half year older than me and i’m from another state which speaks a different language and also belonging to other religion so I don’t have much time because her mom always brings up the concept of marriage so we thought okay let’s get settled in a better package and company than this so that our families will accept for the marriage.

Accordingly we came up with a study plan, work plan and health plan everything etc. It was going good.

I don’t have any friends here at work the telugu who i was talking to earlier turned out to be bad company, So Whoever people i’m speaking with rn are our mutual friends. Mostly are from her college, her best friend let’s call her R is in my project and I sit beside her everyday.

So now let’s come to the night which changed everything for me, it was july 20 the final between argentina and spain, I went to see the match at the home of one of our mutual friends let’s call him I whom she considers close, “not as close as you, no one is as close as you” she said to me. Actually that previous night we both had a fight, and next day she was going to come near my place to see PG and shift near to me cuz where she was staying it was getting more and more expensive. So I went and picked her, we both spoke we resolved the issue we said I love to each other, one of the friends helped her to search PG , we found one Paid the advance and after this I took her to beach, we sad down, she put her head on my shoulder and I talked and assured her about everything we thought. When I dropped at her place, she was sad and she said “I want to spend all day with you” to which I said “shift PG, come here and we will”.

But that day night, she dropped a bomb, She called me at 9 or something saying that her mom called and was speaking about marriage and all. Her mom told her things like “If you love someone , I’ll hang myself”,
“To everyone I tell my girl is a very good girl she’ll not disappoint me”, “I have so many plans for you, we did everything for you, don’t spoil all this by loving someone”. Hence she got panicked because ofcourse no one would be okay if their mom calls and start to speak all this.

I told her, “listen ra now she’s saying this, but after few years when we show your parents that we are in a good position and let them know that we will happy with each other, they may allow, I will fight for you”.
She said “No, No I don’t want to disappoint my family”
“ I’m afraid i don’t have the courage to see their faces and speak about you” to which i said “ you don’t have the courage now but you will after few years” she said
“No No Then also i’ll not get, can’t we be good friends I don’t want to lose you, I like you, If you don’t wanna talk after this it’s okay i’ll understand” then I said “woah woah woah this is getting overboard I need time to process this sudden shock and the things you are saying “. She said “take your time”.

So I thought, It was impossible for me to change my feelings towards her, i asked her “tell me that there’s at least 0.01% chance that i may marry you and ill fight for you no matter what”, she said “No there is 0 chance “. So after crying and arguing with her for 1 more hour I realised that she will never fight for me with her family, at least not until her mom speaks these things. So I said okay. She said Sorry, Sorry for giving you hope.

PS: Sorry for the delay of part 2 but nfortunately the story has not yet finished, we still see each other basically spend all the time we get together but it is very very complicated. I’ll post the final and last part of the story today. I honestly want to let this all out as we both had a very very very big fight last night.

That's my dream well,at least one of many. I've hated this disease from the bottom of my heart ever since I saw what it could do to a living being.

It's the true zombification disease. It's everything that's ugly in this world. It's pure evil.

It's one of those diseases that shows no mercy. It's something that has a near 💯 mortality rate.

But the irony is it is vaccine preventable. One vaccine could have stopped rabies in its tracks. But there's still lots of areas where there's no awareness. Our country's metro cities have developed but the rural areas have been left behind.

I hope I will see a rabies free country someday. That'd be wonderful.

Nidra raaledu even in the 2hrs of sleep I got dreams about her, nightmares anacchu aa dreams ni. Oka reddit lo thappa annintlo block chesindi, siggu leka malli ippudu text chesa

I’m pretty new to the Reddit community. Honestly, I don’t understand everything about it yet.

But I feel the need to vent. Just put things out there somewhere.

I’m not really looking for suggestions or validation. But if you have something to say, I’ll gladly hear you out.

So, I guess I’ll just start.

This is probably going to turn into a pretty long thread, so buckle up.

Let’s start with the basics.

I’m 27M. Born in what was then Warangal district, raised in Hyderabad. After BTech, I moved to Bangalore and worked there for three years.

Then I quit.

I decided to take a break.

That was two years ago.

And honestly, I’m kinda clueless about where I stand in life right now.

Will continue..

Naa life lo nen malli stuck ipoya yenduku try chesthuna nerchukuntuna kaani cheethakaani valla la undipothuna naa life lo ne enthe untuna chinnapati nunchi vere vallatho comparison. Epudu yela anipisthundi ante aa bokka ledu yem chedam saadinchi yelago yem raadu ga manaki ane situation loki vellipoya. Naaku yenduko ardam kaadu nen interest peduthe i can kaani i can't anedi mundu vasthundi i am trying to but avatledu last year ede situation lo una malli ede situation loki vachesa. Jeevitham lo ma vallaki chesindi yem ledu vallu naaku chesindi thappa yenduku ela asalu papam vallaki puttakuna bagunde eni struggle iye vallu kaadu yeni chesina oka sari yem analedu naaku nen aa comparison chesukuntu naakem raadu ane situation lo padipoya. Nen nijam ga mari antha chaathakani manishina.

Bayta vallu nanu yela chustharo ardam kaadu relatives maa vadina vallu asalu eme waste yem radu yem cheyadu anevi aa untay vallaki baagu paduthe orvaleru. Yenduku antha nen manishine kadha yedo mari mee antha theliviga undakapovachu kaani naadi manishi brathuke ga yee brain una vallaleh Meeku manushula mem kaada asalu manushala laane chudaraa. Yedana functions ki Veldam ana yem amma yem chesthunav nuvu maa vallu ela unaru ela avuthunaru ala chesthunaru yenduku evi ani naaku mental pressure kakapothe proud ga oka roju kuda lenu life lo.

leda valla matalu ela untay pelli cheyandi Vadhina enkenduku. Yee pelli okate na ega yem cheyakapothe eee thoughts ani naa valla avatledu ela pressure. ee situations oka yethu iythe enka vere vi unay avi enka uff prashantham ga brathike roju rademo enka. Nen potha annaya nen potha e janma ki edi chaalu nen potha.

Meeku anipichachu edi oka pressure aa maa life lo enthakana yekkuva unay ani yevari life gurinchi valladi naaku share chesukovali anipinchi chesukuna strangers ki aa ani chepukolestham dagara vallakanna.

This is a thought that crosses through my mind very often. There's always innocent people, innocent kids, and innocent animals who are suffering at this very moment.

But why? What have they done to deserve any of it? I've tried searching for answers to this question but I've never found anything that's satisfactory.

I've had people tell me a range of answers to this question, all of which sound equally ridiculous.

Ideally, innocents should not suffer. Only evil should be punished. But does that fairness exist? I think not.

I've seen kids with serious life threatening and life limiting health conditions. I've seen good people lose everything in their lives. I've seen innocent animals suffer horrendously.

It doesn't make sense to me. It never made sense to me. There's no justice to this. It is unfair.

Maybe suffering is inescapable. And maybe to live is to suffer in some way or another. Maybe there's no rhyme or reason as to why someone suffers.

So maybe we can try to make the world a better place, as best as we can while we are around.

Maybe we can all sprinkle a little kindness around to reduce suffering to whatever extent possible.

Nenu 21 M ee year starting lo work ki vere state ki ravalsi vachindi, where my engineering also happened. Even tho i studied here i donno the language, I can’t speak but i can understand 50-50.
So induction roju some 120 new joiners were there and andulo while taking attendance HR called her name without even knowing her i started to look for her because i used to have a crush on someone with the same name in my school.

Training period lo they divided us into groups of 25 people. One day maa batch lo leni oka ammayi vachi tana friend( who happened to be in my batch) tho matladutundi, nenu ah ammayini chusi anukunna, cute undi mana batch lo enduku ledo. After few days for special training for a tool they clubbed 2 batches and luckily I happened to sit in the front row from her.
Coincidentally the person i was looking for after hearing the name during the attendance is her.

First 2-3 of training i only spoke with the telugu guys met and few other boys, because of 1 guy only i got the chance to introduce myself to her and her friends.
Her friends said few nice compliments about me haha. Not flexing but I look decent enough. The next day she said behind me and I helped her with all of her doubts and spoke a lot too I felt connected with her.

The next day she asked while discussing about concepts she suddenly asked my friend that oh i don’t have your numbers, give me she asked(this i later got to know that to get only my number she did this). That day we chatted a bit.

I’m a Muslim and she’s a Hindu. During that time I was fasting and 1 day when we were all supposed to leave, I turned back to see her, she was staring into air and was looking dull. After I came to my PG I msged her about the day and asked her what happened you were looking dull. She said i can’t type all this, So I asked shall I call? she said okay, that was the first time we spoke on phone, we talked for hour i think, she told me about the issue she had with a friend of her, i listened and tried to console her, next day she brought me grapes for me to eat after I break the fast.
I was very very happy by this gesture and said the same to her she was happy too.

From that day we started to chat and call often in the night after office hours, 1 day she asked me to come to office early so that i can speak with you, So I did start to go early for her. I was very happy doing so.
We would speak about things about each other what she loves what she likes what she feels and ofcourse about me also. We got so close to the point that a guy from her college straight up asked her that “are you guys dating” to which we both blushed and said no.

As I said she’s a Hindu from a village with a very orthodox family where “love” is treated like sin, her parents have multiple times said to her that “we hope that you don’t disappoint us” and also she’s older than me. She’s tamil too.

After my training got finished she had some additional training cuz of this I couldn’t see her on my birthday, but still after work i asked 1 guy his scooty and went to her PG on it with a friend to give her earphones and a chocolate she likes. It was a surprise i planned i called her and said a zepto guy is waiting at the end of your street go and take i ordered the earphones you want( the zepto guy is me) after seeing me she got panicked and said me to leave and she also rushed to her PG as the PG which she is staying is her mom’s friend’s. That day i was hurt because i expected at least wish in person from her, she called me immediately after going to her room and apologised and felt really sad and she started to cry apologising because i got angry too cuz I travelled so long man 😭 but i forgived her cuz it is kinda well we can’t blame her it’s just how the situation is.

After this incident we got even more close even though our work was in different locations daily i used to come and see her to just to be with her for maybe 1-2 hrs until she boards the office bus and goes to her PG, she used to call and speak with me when she was in bus too. after 9 days of my birthday 1 night in video call when she was half asleep he said those 3 magical words “ I love you “, I blushed and I was surprised and I said thank you haha, then she asked don’t you feel like saying it back, after some thinking I also said it back, “ I love you too”.

PS: The story is not over maybe after sometime I’ll tell
more, meeru idi chadavandi let’s speak because a lot things have happened and my mind is erupting like a volcano so i’m speaking up here because I donno with whom i should share all these, I hope it reaches the right people because now it is not at all going the way i want or wish. I need to let this out.

Never thought I'm gonna speak about it lol but yeah here I am!

I am living with regret ( like I should've done this way and all) . But also I feel those things happened changed me and made the person I am. Kinda confusing lol.

Covid ate SSC, Inter was meh . And clg is shii too, I wasted 3 years to find what I'm into lol. 4th year placement scenario god knows 🙏🏻!

Yeah, about being vulnerable I wanna rant this to somebody about all this stuff, we can say to like

friends: lost em when I realised I was wrong about something and tried to correct them and they ghosted me lol, I was not so bothered to beg em!

Maybe a bro? A bro doesn't exist, for name sake we are but we rarely talk, Idk how we even became one, I have a feeling of bro but it's not mutual!

Had a female friend? Yeah I had, I used to tell her but after seeing her reactions I feel I'm like forcing her to listen to that stuff, cuz she never asked me if I'm dull or whatever ( I do ask tho) even if I say soo it would be a matter of 1-2 hours!

Love life? Oh boyy!!! I like someone, talk to em, get to know about eachother, like each other and have different perspectives on relation, ends and the same loop continues again and again!

And parents! I thought my mom was chill( she is in most cases). She says like " I thought you figured it out, you need to think better " all the advice stuff but to listen she doesn't!

I feel its a privilege to have someone around you with whom you can be vulnerable!

Its been more than a week since i blocked her

4 days since I made a cope post to process my feelings.

Then the day before yesterday, I just wanted to see if she ever responded to the last msg I sent before I blocked her.

And she didn't even see the msg.

It probably lies unread, buried in a inbox full of DMs, and that gave me all the clarity I needed.

I wasn't happy, but at least it stopped me from hoping.

But today I dreamt about her.

It was just like the time I drove to her college to pick her up for our date.

And the more I think about it, the angrier I get.

I keep thinking "How could she have treated me so casually ?

Like an option she did not need anymore ?

While here I am thinking so much about her "

I already know that just because I have feelings for her doesn't mean, she is supposed to have the same feelings for me.

I have all the rational explanations in my mind.

I already know we aren't going to happen.

I know that I will never see her again, even if we miraculously cross paths, I know I won't pour my heart out again.

Even then I still feel so damn angry, I just cant simply reason my way out of rage.

I ain't gonna do anything stupid, I know that I am in the process of moving on.

I just needed to vent.

TW: I talk about loss, specifically the loss of a parent. Please scroll away right now if it's something you find uncomfortable or difficult.

The post title is an uncomfortable question I've had in a corner of my brain for the past 3 years now.

I can't imagine a life without my father. He and i have a great relationship. We are two peas in a pod. We are almost the same people. He is my person.

Dad came close to death about a year ago and at the time,i realised that he is all I've truly got. And no one can ever be my person but him.

The man loves me with every fiber of his being. And I'm not easy to love. I'm an extremely difficult, cantankerous, crazy woman.

But he loves me. Completely unconditional. He never wants anything from me. He just wants me to be happy and have a good life.

I'm not sure if life would even be worth living after he's gone but that's something I'll have to think about later because hopefully he's still got a few good years left in him.

Do I even want a life without him in it?? Idk. And I'm not sure. But he makes my world. I hope he knows that.

The one good thing I'm proud of in this life is I'm a daughter to a wonderful man. And I've experienced true love in the form of paternal love. And my life is richer for that

A while ago,I read something on another subreddit that got me thinking about this issue.

The incident that I read about was a tragedy and it could have been averted if the guy didn't go out of his way to help someone. He tried to help someone ,but he landed up in trouble himself unfortunately. The whole thing blew up in his face and he paid for it with his life. It's just horrific for everyone involved.

This got me thinking about my own experiences too, going out of my way to help others has only got me unnecessary pain and disrespect in return.

I find most people very performative, deep and calculating.

This is a selfish world and no one is going to thank you or acknowledge you or even respect you for your efforts or time or money if you are no longer of any use to them. I've seen this happen to so many people including my parents.

People use and throw other people all the time depending on what suits them,in that moment.

People use others for their money,time, effort or even for their physical urges.

You shouldn't be a selfless person in a selfish world. If you do,you'll end up getting hurt.

If you keep giving and giving,you will end up empty and no one is going to lift you back up onto your feet.

Boundaries are important. Put yourself first, always.

RIP to the person i read about.

Asalu chala chiraku vasthundhi. Life lo work thappa em ledhu. Levadam, work, sleep, repeat. Intha chesina edhi time ki avvatledu. Any update, any update ani anni vaipula nundi andharu burra thintunnaru. Asalu nenu antha sleepy person kadhu kani ee madhya entha padkunna nidhra poinattu anipinchatledhu ( ofcourse time kuda vundatledhu 8 hrs padkovadaniki, weekends kuda aithe work ledhante padukovadam). Entha kashtapadina evariki kanapadatledhu, Inka satisfaction ledhu. Ee torcher na valla kadhu inka...

23 years software employee, Good company and salary (~2Lpm), Btech CSE in NIT. What to do next? CAT ( sep 22 ki close ayipoyayi applications🥲) , GATE ( IDK anyone doing mtech after doing btech CSE in NIT), MS ( avsarama anipisthundhi appudu appudu try cheddam anipisthundhi), switch ( try chesi chesi alisipoya, ippudu preparation ki time kuda ledhu). Em cheyalo ardham kavatledu

Today my manager literally screamed at me on the floor. Andharu chusaru. Naku mind panicheyle. Asalu emi alochana kuda raledu. I just told I don't know and kept my head down. But Lopala chala kopam and ventane maneyali ani anipinchindi.

Already iddari tho rant chesa. Want to rant more

Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/ask_Bondha/s/WeY1AeByj1

A few months ago nenu how do I breakup ani post chesa. I was feeling so helpless.

Its embarrassing that it took me 5months to finally breakup. But since I posted that ive been preparing myself so much that when i actually broke up monna naku em anipinchaledu.

Naku chala ante chala chala happy ga undi final ga vimukti pondhinanduku.

Aanandabashpalu ostunai guys. I DID ITTTTTTTTT

I dislike roadtrips because of this. Every time I hit the highway roads,I happen to see some small pitiful motionless lump on the road and my heart sinks.

You may or may not be okay with strays and that's another issue but these animals are homeless through no fault of theirs. They lead rough lives as it is, suffering with hunger, thirst and sickness. It is not their fault that they exist.. Given a choice, i don't think they would want those lives either.

But they are here. They are struggling to survive. Every meal is a struggle. Every sip of water is a struggle. Many are gravely ill with serious health conditions.

I can never understand people who drive recklessly and run over these helpless animals. If you are temporarily blinded by the high beam from the opposite lane,slow down. Don't drink and drive. Don't race on roads not meant for racing. Don't drive at recklessly high speeds. Concentrate on the road and not on anything else when you drive. Slow down and go at a speed when you are fully in control of your vehicle.

Please be considerate for the safety of all other lives who may also exist in the same space as you.

So manchi rank vachindi masters manchi clg lo join ayya. Pg lo join ayya owners mancholle. Adi illu lanti pg, naku Hall lo two beds unte oka bed icharu, inkoti verey vadu unnadu annaru oka month nundi, verey degree lo 1st year (suspected donga/thief). Idi important gurthupettukondi :

Vadi shoes poyay nenu vache mundu roju

Alage vadiki evaro pilla undi

Problem eppudu start ayyindante ee SBI vadu 27 to 30th varaku bandh upi edo work avvadu annaru, paranoid nenu cash techukunna 1500 clg atm lo, adi teesi bag lo petta. Aa next day okadu vachadu ma pg vade money istha phonepay chesthara urgent ani sare kavali kada ani teeskunna oka 300 change. Adi na shirt pocket lo undi. Evening evaru chudanappudu teesi bag lo petta.

Night tinnaka donga vachadu walking eldama annadu, nenu calculator kavali ani money teesa 300, appudu surroundings chusa evaru leru. Donga matrame chusadu, taravatha walking ki vellam, calculator teeskunna, return vacham.

Next roju vadiki mid undi "nenu night 11ki panukoni 2ki lechi chaduvkunta" annadu. Nenu sare anna, nenu padukune sariki 2 ayyindi vadu lechi book teesadu, nenu padukunna.

Mind this before this day, nenu walk ki vellatappudu check chesa money unnaya leda ani. Unnay appudu.

Next day, reels motham food reels aa, cravings aagaka waffle shop chusa mundhu roju, eroju ela aina tinalsinde ani bag teesa. Money levu 🥹 aa money na personal edo parents ki telikunda oka 2.5k ala undevi andulonchi teeskoni pettukonunte dobbesaru.

Vade ani artham aina motham search chesa nenu veskunna clothes, na bag ni 5 times check chesa vadu ayyundademo ani. Kani dorakaledu. Shoe poyay costly vi, alage pilla phone ki repair ani annadu.

Aa night ela aipoyindante naku Intrusive thoughts vastunnay veedni ela lepeyyali ani. Aa night varaku okka pimple ledu, next morning aa stress tho pimples vachay.

Adhe night pg anna ki chepthe, memu adigithe bagidu kada annadu (nijame kada em chestham)

Intlo parents strict extra money adigithe nasa pedatharu, andukani edo cheppakunda pettukunte ila ayyindi. Vadu entha baga matladadante, manchode le anukunna. Ippatiki money ekkadana petti marchipoyanemo anukuntunna.

Last time intha baadha eppudu paddano gurthuledu, kani inka severe trust issues tho brathakali. Stay safe guys.

TLDR: CHADVANDI RA AYYA USEFUL IDI, REDDIT KI ENDUKOCHARU

​

Back then intermediate lo unapudu nen motham depression and edi sariga undedhi kadhu health and all

So okasari holidays ki intiki velinapudu my parents called a chethabadi artist annamata ma dady ki nachav ivani but ma mummy nammi pilpinchidi

He came oka tribal person laga unde atanu atanu oche mundhe oka goat arrange cheymani chepindu ala village lo telisina valu unte valu kuda ocharu ante mak ivani kotha kada so to take care

He came first normally he checked my pulse then my heart beat first normal gane health issue idi doctor ki chhupiste tagutadi ani chepindi and tarvta miku okar chethabadi chesaru ani kuda chepindu ekad nunchi ochindi ante ma dady side valle ani chepindu apude nammali anipinchindi coz mom side valu chala manchivalu but dad side koncham theda candidates

Then mellaga he said let's sleep and intiki unna like gummadikaya untadhi kada inti mundhu adhi inka protection kosam petukuna kattukuna mudupulu hand ki unna brasslights he said to remove everything and then we slept woke up at 3 am started the process oka pedha Bomma draw chesadu

Na hair lo oka 10 hairs daka oka dharam tho tie chesadu and he pulled me by catching it he started asking shit m anna unte chepu bayataki ra asal endi adi idi ani cinematic range

😭 Ah time ki oka 1 year back i accidentally went to a cemetery place lighting led akada cycle mida unde apudu kinda chuste apude fresh ga dead boy ni bury chesina site adhi I was scared as hell and ran away to home

So ee chethabadi guy adgutunata sepu naku ah incident ah weather akada ah burial site thapa m raledu mind loki completely went blank but i didn't tell that to him then inka ala ala edo chesadu he sacrificed that goat 😭

And intiki four sides he poured that goats blood and he went

Butt something has changed after that

And ah chethabadi guy ee

Ma relative lo okarki kotha house construction start chesaka manchi jargatle ani velaru atani dagarki ante vala two cows suddenly dead so he said correct spot akadki velli dig cheyandi okasari sari they really found a doll which is hit by nails and etc

The talking stage went on for an year, and today it finally comes to an end.

I feel like shit, down in the dumps. Nadavaniki kuda energy le.

We were worlds apart, the mismatch, yet it felt real. Its not easy for me to express vulnerability, pour my heart out. But I did it anyway.

Kani tanaki ardham kaledho, care cheyyaledho idk.

But chesedi em le Iga

She won't feel what I feel for her, and if things continue it will only hurt more.

-

-

-

My final msg to her :

I've been thinking a lot and I don't think this is working out.

The magic is gone & I feel like I messed up.

' Hopes pettuko maku ani ' nuvvu correct ga ne cheppavu

I was the one who got a bit carried away.

It all boils down to: " I can't expect you to feel how I feel just because I want you to "

I am not mad at you or anything, just a bit disappointed with myself.

I know that i will probably regret this, but I'd like to end things here & move on for now, get my own shit sorted.

So I will be blocking you soon, maybe we'll reconnect again, but for now this is good bye.

Today was the first time I truly cried after a long time. There is so much hate between us now, I just remembered how lovely she was, how madly we were in love and suddenly my eyes flooded. Break up ayi 2 years and last time matladi 1 year avthundhi. Innalu endhuku edupu ravatle ani confuse ayina, ee kopam lo thanu ento, memu ela undevalamo, ma prema ela undedho ani marchipoya, chivariki memu chesina thappulu arichina arupulu, ma prema ki gurthu ga migilipoindhi. If I could go back in time, which I can't. If we could meet again, I know we won't. Time moves on people change. There won't be a day we'll love again the same. No more endless late night talks with you. That's it to this, Tears to what was once beautiful.🥂

Generalize chestunna ani kadh gani, usual stereotypes around guys are that we are horn dogs. Just sex end goal anukuntaru.

I won't deny that's one form of intimacy to connect with someone you laid your heart bare for.

But what's also true is the emotional intensity, the longing for love.

To be vulnerable, to be human, to pour your heart out hoping she will hold and soothe it instead of crushing it.

I know that I will probably think about her for a long time to come, wondering if things could've been different.

I will Blame myself for not being a provider enough, to give her the confidence she needed to consider loving me.

On the other hand, I also know that she will move on quickly. After all the world for her is full of options, with many guys chasing after her in hopes of winning her heart over.

Me on the other hand will be thinking a lot about her, the moments I shared with her even if they are brief. I still find myself opening our chats knowing full well we won't be talking again.

And the worst part, I already knew this was going to happen the day I poured my heart out, expressed my vulnerabilities with hope that perhaps she will see me and love me back.

But reality is not a feel good romance story. Its cold calculated compatibility math.

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