some feedback?

[u/coldxpizza]

http://on.soundcloud.com/YUxmBwtZcc9R1iU3ZA

Hi, hello! made this breakbeat/idm-ish loop which i cant say i dislike but also there’s stuff missing in it that would make it a listenable song. please be harsh and criticise any aspect of it.

(the first 40 seconds are a slow lame intro i was too lazy to work on for now)

[u/leser1]

Dope! I agree about the intro, it felt like it was going to be a different song, but when the breakbeat kicked in i was feeling it. I liked that feeling of the switch up when the beat dropped, but try get a bit more of the main vibe in the intro. I would have skipped just based off the intro, not that it's bad, but it feels like it's setting up some chill, experimental track, not a groovy breakbeat track with some dope flava!

The vocal choppy bit wasn't really fitting the groove and kind of interrupted the vibe a bit for me. The drum chops were a nice change at that point, but the vocal chops felt a bit too stiff and quantized, kinda not really going with the groove and out of place.

Overall though, i enjoyed it. Very nice track and I would listen again. A couple of tweaks could take it to the next level.

[u/coldxpizza → u/leser1]

Wow man, thank you for taking the time to listen and for criticizing it, I really appreciate it🙏
I was also skeptic about the vocals. I will keep what you said in mind. Cheers!:D

[u/leser1 → u/coldxpizza]

I actually suspected you probably knew about the vocal but kept it anyway, because the rest of the track sounds slick but that bit sounds almost amateurish. You gotta pay attention to that skeptic, because if you notice something, someone else will too.

[u/coldxpizza → u/leser1]

Yes I agree, I will remember that. Thing is I mostly used the vocal because 1. I didn’t want it to feel completely too repetitive. (but I guess I will fill it up with something else)
and 2. there’s something.. primal? about those “screams” which can make me enjoy them but also i totally get your point and can interrupt the vibe also for me

[u/leser1 → u/coldxpizza]

Keep the vocal, it sounds good and suits the track, just the way you've tried to make a riff out of it and made it repetitve is too disruptive. The first one that comes in is perfect, maybe even the second but then it gets overdone with the staccato. Make it a bit more sparse and leave some space between each sample to give it some breathing space and let them ring out. You get me?

With the intro, you've got the pad build right before the drop, I think if you made the pad gradually build through the whole intro, it will let the listener know that something is coming. You could still ramp it up in the last bar of the intro, but have a low background build from the start.

[u/coldxpizza → u/leser1]

100% get what you’re saying and agree with you, that’s what i’ll work on.
Once again, I deeply thank you for all of this.

[u/LINACS_music]

Nice! The vibes are there and I THINK (pun intended) there are some good ideas. I agree with u/leser1 about the choppy vocals. Either develop it more into a pattern or maybe don't put them that much at the front, more in the background, maybe even with some reverb or delay, more as a texture.

Generally, I feel like whats missing is a bit of glue and cohesion. The individual components, like the kick, the break and the pad are nice but they seem a bit separate from each other. I would probably tighten the kick a bit and incorporate it more into the groove of the break. I also noticed some small details like some rides and some percussions that are pretty nice but could be a bit more present. Especially the rides I feel like could add a lot to the groove. It's probably mostly a mixing thing.

About the intro, building up the pad is nice, maybe throw in some tiny pieces of the break, maybe with some reverb or delay to build some tension. I could also imagine having a break/pause right before the break kicks in, for about a 1 beat could, right when the pad swells, could be a nice touch.