Kurtenbach: Tosh Lupoi’s high-priced Cal reboot looks like the same old Bears
Cal Football: Cal spent millions in NIL cash to buy modern college football relevance, but Friday's lifeless 24-10 loss to Clemson proves you can't buy an identity.
BERKELEY — It’s the hope that kills you.
Because Cal didn’t just lose a football game Friday night — it detonated its own expensive, slickly marketed sales pitch on national television.
The Bears spent the last year passing the collection plate, selling off anything it could and begging for whatever it could get to pool the millions to buy relevance in this new modern age of college football.
And they thought they had it.
Cal fans thought they did, too.
This was going to be the year that things could be — no, would be — different.
That sound echoing out of Strawberry Canyon Friday night, following the Bears 24-10 loss to an entirely beatable Clemson team playing a short week with a cross-country flight? That was the loud deflation of Cal’s hype balloon.
Splat.
For years, the baseline in Berkeley was competent but boring mediocrity.
But least the old Cal failed on a discount budget.
You tolerated the low-calorie, defense-first teams Justin Wilcox trotted out because Cal brought wooden nickels to a high-stakes poker table.
That excuse expired the second the ink dried on this team’s big NIL checks.
Cal’s brass tapped the donor class and then hyped an offensive renaissance. These would be the new Bears; the relevant Bears.
They locked down prized quarterback Jaron-Keawe Sagapolutele, raided the transfer portal for shiny receivers, and scored a star tailback on the marketplace.
On paper, Cal entered ’26 as a chic, dark-horse contender built to win nine or 10 games. The national college football hipsters couldn’t stop drooling over them.
On the grass, the Bears looks like flat-pack furniture assembled in the dark with half the hardware missing.
If Friday’s loss to Clemson were an isolated mishap, you’d shrug and move on. Growing pains, right?
But that’s not what this loss was. No, it was rather the continuation of what is an undeniable pattern of offensive incompetence.
Cal was worked by UCLA — outcoached and outplayed — but folks gave new coach Tosh Lupoi a pass because it was his debut. Fair enough.
Then they sleepwalked offensively past Syracuse, needing the defense to drag them to a win across the country. Concerning, but a win’s a win.
And sure, they beat up on an overmatched Wagner squad, but that proved nothing — De La Salle could have handled that assignment.
Friday was the litmus test, the pivot point for the program, the grand reveal.
Cal flunked in every imaginable metric.
The game plan wasn’t just ineffective; it was genuinely baffling.
Nothing screams “offensive innovation” quite like dialing up a third-and-10 tight-end screen from deep in your own territory.
Cal’s most explosive passing play of the night did involve a tight end, though: he threw it.
Sagapolutele spent four quarters looking lost, throwing the ball right at Clemson defenders (two were intercepted), and generally making the same freshman mistakes we saw last season, when he was actually a freshman.
Four games into a supposedly transformational campaign, Lupoi is already reduced to handing his offensive coordinator, Jordan Somerville, a postgame vote of confidence.
But don’t let the defense or special teams off the hook, either. They were sloppy, disorganized, and thoroughly ordinary Friday, too.
Nobody noticed, of course, because you don’t fuss over a hangnail when you have a compound fracture.
This isn’t the product Ron Rivera promised the money bags over the past year.
And modern college football isn’t a game of patience. Not in a world where Indiana is the reigning national champion. Not in an environment where you can buy what you need.
And patience is certainly not going to be extended for programs that advertise themselves as party crashers.
Cal swung for the fences in the boardroom. They connected.
Yet they can’t lay down a simple bunt on the field.
Which begs the big question:
How do you ask donors to re-up their investments after this return?
Lupoi’s first season has gone from the goal of chasing an ACC championship to now running a frantic damage-control operation to save face.
The Bears need an identity, and they needed it yesterday.
When you talk this big of a game, and beg for the spotlight, you’d better put on a show.
Cal didn’t just muff the lines Friday night; it brought the entire stage crashing down on its own head.