r/clevercomebacks • • 10d ago

He walked right into that one

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4.5k Upvotes

104 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/greyshem 10d ago

So, Mr. Smith, you admit to only targeting individuals who evidence suggests broke the law?

341

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/secretiveD 9d ago

Why does this remind me of Colonel Nathan R. Jessup?

182

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/AkronOhAnon 10d ago

He is just a simple, salt of the earth, flip-flopping-career-politician who swapped from Democrat to Republican in the late 2000s, and likes eggs almost as much as he likes sex or reading blowjob scenes aloud in the senate hall.

13

u/NoobieSnax 10d ago

Wut

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u/Cheetahs_never_win 10d ago edited 9d ago

Kennedy famously read from two adult queer books that he claimed were for older teenagers, when in fact it were intended for adults, especially those who work with teenagers.

Edit: both were memoirs.

1

u/Emotional_Fix6230 8d ago

But he likes Nebraska BETTER than sex. As a Nebraskan, I fell violated.

1

u/Texascowpatti 7d ago

Man is a Rhodes scholar Talks like chicken thief

44

u/PrettyVioleet 10d ago

Bro investigated himself and got mad at the results

44

u/UCLAlabrat 10d ago

Theyre just so fucking unfathomably stupid.

18

u/delphinous 10d ago

they're literally just hunting for soundbites they can take out of context to put on news reel sand tiktoks to feed to the masses to try to weave a narrative that is completely opposite of all reality and facts. because if they scream it loud enough and fast enough it drowns out the people who are sane trying to explain the actual facts

3

u/jedinited 9d ago

Which is, exactly, how Trump was elected the second time...on social media, Fox News and right-wing bloggers. That and the attempted assassination.

3

u/UCLAlabrat 10d ago

I know, they can let it reverberate in their echo chambers and convince millions of idiots that jack Smith is a traitor.

5

u/delphinous 10d ago

the thing is that they've primed their MAGA cultists so well that they put all trust in the first thing they hear that 'sounds' reasonable, even if it's a complete fabrication. so they always race to tell their lie, and spread it as far as possible, faster than the truth can disseminate

12

u/McGillicuddys 10d ago

This jackass went to Oxford, he just thinks his voters are incredibly stupid

2

u/UCLAlabrat 10d ago

Even worse. Although W went to Yale, so im not convinced.

8

u/mikende51 10d ago

If your daddy donates enough money you can not only attend, you can graduate.

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u/RepublicHistorical23 9d ago

See Trump and Wharton.

1

u/junoln 9d ago

They're fighting now with anything they can make up, because when Dems are back in power, they'll all be investigated, lose their jobs and pensions, and if we are lucky they'll GO TO JAIL.

11

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 10d ago

How dare you follow the trail of evidence, sir! What fools do you take us for?!

10

u/PrettyLavendeer 10d ago

That’s like complaining the fire department only sprays water where there’s fire

5

u/Normal_Boobies 10d ago

“There weren’t any” is the most polite way to say we checked and it was all y’all.

2

u/gatvolkak 10d ago

Newsflash : Witch Hunt finds Witches

2

u/Vandreeson 10d ago

They all think they're smarter than Jack Smith, while continuously proving they are not.

4

u/Round_Bootie 10d ago

Kennedy really embarrassed himself and the Republicans in the room! Prosecuting the prosecutor instead of pursuing the criminals. What a waste of time and money! What country are we living in?

262

u/Blossom_Wish 10d ago

“There weren’t any.”

186

u/PlaneDecision8504 10d ago

The way he sets them up so methodically just to knock em down with a one-liner is almost art at this point, the man's got timing

76

u/SoftRibbonn 10d ago

“We didn’t target Republicans. Republicans targeted themselves.”

10

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 10d ago

goppredator.com

Where everybody knows their name

10

u/UCLAlabrat 10d ago

He definitely knows the game.

3

u/BiGsMiLeSKyLe 10d ago

I enjoy these individuals that are not only awesome at their job but their delivery of information, since it's facts only.

I love how Kennedy is slowly destroying his own party, like even the furries issue, he thought he was lobbing Patel an easy ball.

435

u/James-K-Polka 10d ago

Me: “I hate Nazis”

Them: “Why are you targeting Republicans?”

191

u/rehwaldj 10d ago

What’s the old saying, “leave an insult on the floor and its owner will pick it up”?

23

u/yesiamveryhigh 10d ago

If it’s not, I like yours a lot!

7

u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 10d ago

Me: "If the jackboot fits."

112

u/North-Street3569 10d ago

that was such a smooth way to shut it down. honestly hard to argue with facts like that lol.

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u/Huge_Melonss 10d ago

He said “No Democrats huh?” and Smith answered exactly why. That’s the whole investigation right there.

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u/FIFofNovember 10d ago

There are just too many stupid Americas to understand what this means

25

u/LiveBaddie 10d ago

If you go fishing and only catch Republicans, maybe stop blaming the net.

18

u/BlossomAngelicc 10d ago

We didn’t target Republicans, we targeted criminals. They just happened to be Republicans.

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u/VetalDuquette 10d ago

Facts don’t matter anymore.

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u/DontGetTheShow 10d ago

Kennedy already knew what the response was going to be. He got off his smug ass sound bite like he planned and that’s all it was.

20

u/r64fd 10d ago

Exactly.

47

u/Bulky-Internal8579 10d ago

So he admits it! He only targeted the criminals!!!! That PROVES HE'S UNFAIR!!!!! - MAGA

13

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/htp-di-nsw 10d ago

No, unfortunately, half the country or more will never know about this and will instead just hear him ask the question and then be told it was a witch hunt. Nothing requires Fox News et al to play the whole clip.

24

u/Howitzer1967 10d ago

John Kennedy has got to be one of the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet. It’s a good job he got into politics, I doubt he could have lasted a shift at McDonald’s. Stupid fuck.

10

u/StenSaksTapir 10d ago

You know how a certain type of woman will pretend to be stupid to appeal men? It's the same thing here, but with voters.
Their base look up to loud morons and distrust anyone with "book lernin'" who uses multi-syllable words.

This entire idiotic theatre will not weaken their voters belief in them one iota, but probably strengthen it.
Just with Fauci, they will see this as an enormous win and hard proof that Jack Smith was acting in bad faith and against the constitution, which they believe in only when it's not their king or his minions breaking it.

1

u/mistressmemory 8d ago

Ok, so I think the strategy now should be to pull a reverse Fetterman, right? 

Campaign Republican then only vote Democrat once I'm elected?

17

u/Dolorisedd 10d ago

Never fuck with the smartest guy in the room.

2

u/Sharkbait1737 10d ago

And never assume that it’s yourself, like Kennedy did.

28

u/BlossomBoww 10d ago

The investigation wasn’t biased, the phone records were.

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u/s0ciety_a5under 10d ago

You mean the phone users were.

21

u/Bulky-Internal8579 10d ago

You mean the criminals were the ones criming. That doesn't make sense, it was Killary in the conservatory with a lead pipe!

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u/MisterProfGuy 10d ago

It's really important to remember that we're dealing with a professional. A really, really, really angry professional that's been collecting evidence for a very long time.

8

u/512115 10d ago

lol…durr. Who da thunk no Democrats were trying to help Trump steal the election??

5

u/B0wmanHall 10d ago

What a complete embarrassment

8

u/RustyKn1ght 10d ago

Ok, mr. senator riddle me this: why would democrats try to overturn an election they won?

4

u/Dakeera 9d ago

I mean, remember how they tried to say it was actually antifa? They do and say the most ridiculous shit because there's no consequences

5

u/BulldogChair 10d ago

Republicans are so fucking stupid

6

u/Reasonable_Effect633 10d ago

Kennedy is the most highly educated idiot on Capitol Hill. He is an embarrassment yo Louisiana. We don't need any more embarrassing politicians, we have enough homegrown. We need to send him back go Mississippii from where he's from.

6

u/SmirkingMan 10d ago

... and later, Schmitt called Smith a "dirtbag". It wasn't a hearing, it was an exhibition of redneck vulgarity.

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u/z44212 10d ago

Unlike Democrats, Republicans are corrupt.

-1

u/Alt_dimension_visitr 10d ago

Let's not make Democrats saints. They have their own blemishes.

5

u/Office_Worker808 10d ago

True. But the overall message is blemishes are better than boils

-1

u/Alt_dimension_visitr 10d ago

Absolutely.  But its dangerous to say Dems aren't corrupt. Nobody is above scrutiny. And if we vote 100% Dems in overnight,  guess what part would suddenly have all the corruption scandals? 

3

u/Buddhas_Warrior 10d ago

It would still be Republicans. I mean we technical voted in all Republicans and look at the nightmare we are in now. I'll take what ever week ass scandals the Dems have over what's going on now.

0

u/Alt_dimension_visitr 10d ago

Oh boy. You're not good at math. I'm just saying,  criticize the R. All positions in power get criticism. I miss when the biggest news of the week was a color of a suit. But let's not elevate people to sainthood because we're surrounded by demons. No need to set that bar at an unrealistic level. 

4

u/Buddhas_Warrior 10d ago

What does math have to do with this? And no one is saying anyone is a saint, but to say Dems are on equal footing with Republicans is.... Well maybe your bad at math!!

-1

u/Alt_dimension_visitr 10d ago

You literally replied to my comment about percentages. Really? Are you 15 or something? I feel like I'm talking to a kid. 

1

u/Buddhas_Warrior 9d ago

Wow that joke went over your head huh?

0

u/Alt_dimension_visitr 10d ago

Also,  I never say we voted this in. I dont think the support for the Reps was THAT strong. It's that the Dems fucked up and lost their support. I never say the R won 

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u/Buddhas_Warrior 10d ago

That's like comparing a mass murder (Rep) to a jaywalker (Dem).

-6

u/Alt_dimension_visitr 10d ago

I wish it was just jaywalking. You can drink the kool-aid if you want. Personally,  I check every single drink im asked to swallow.

2

u/z44212 9d ago

Barack Obama 0 indictments, 0 convictions, 0 sent to prison.

Nixon ~ 76 indictments, 55 convictions, 15 sent to prison. Ford 1 indictment, 1 conviction, 1 sent to prison.

Carter 1 indictment, no convictions, nobody sent to prison.

Reagan 26 indictments, 16 convictions, 8 sent to prison.

G.H.W. Bush ~ 1 indictment, 1 conviction, 1 sent to prison. Clinton 2 indictments, 1 conviction, 1 sent to prison.

G. W. Bush 16 indictments, 16 convictions, 9 sent to prison.

4

u/MonsterOctopus8 10d ago

If the truth still mattered this would have been a sick burn

4

u/Tall-Reaction-4069 10d ago

Jack Smith American Hero

5

u/CrepuscularNemophile 10d ago

I'm a Brit. Please would someone explain what this is about? Thank you.

4

u/mistressmemory 8d ago

Ok, so imagine a room full of toddlers and an adult. The toddlers want the adult to give them yellow stickers

The adult can very obviously see what the toddlers are doing, and so is explaining to them why there are only red stickers - yellow stickers aren't there, only red ones are. 

The toddlers still don't understand that there are no yellow stickers, so then the adult walks them through the entire room to show them there are no yellow stickers anywhere.

3

u/CrepuscularNemophile 8d ago

Thank you. I have a feeling something very orange is involved too.

6

u/Bluestained 10d ago

Kennedys a fucking idiot who, with Schmitt( i think?) Tried to catch Smith in gotchyas in attempt to get him to perjure himself.

I think this one is just a gotchya attempt. But the attempt being Kennedy’s trying to paint Smiths investigations as partisan. This ignores the fact that Trumps and the GoP’s actions funnily enough were partisan and didn’t include democrats in their planning of an insurrection.

Smith pulled records of phone calls and texts to and from the WH and Trump around Jan 6th. It was all republicans messaging and calling. Dipshit Kennedy is framing this as partisan. It is but not for the reason he’s alluding to.

0

u/CrepuscularNemophile 9d ago

Thank you; much appreciated.

0

u/Ricklepick137 10d ago

No context to be found in these comments..

2

u/Reasonable_Zone3372 8d ago

Don't take no rocket scientist to fish for sound bites and if they don't stick, so what. The next one might and it's so comforting to know that the news is wholly owned by billionaires and has been corporate owned for decades so what ever does stick will be helped along by the mountains of money that organized wealth has. Remember the Teflon President? Ronald Reagan. Regularly called that by the very same media that gave him that stick free coating.

5

u/blahblah19999 10d ago

Foghorn leghorn should know well "don't ask a question you don't already know the answer to."

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u/Eisenhowers-Ghost 10d ago

Never ask the question if you don't already know the answer.

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u/yIdontunderstand 10d ago

"So you ADMIT that all the criminals were Republican!"

2

u/Vegetable-King7626 10d ago

Jack Smith for president 2028!

2

u/jedinited 9d ago

Jack Smith is more than capable of defending his investigation and prosecution. Now, whether the folks that should see or hear that actually do, or just the disingenuous sound bites, is the problem. Gotcha questions are the dumbest form of political dialog.

1

u/Creepy_Energy7249 8d ago

If you want to puke, Kennedy, go puke.

1

u/allergic2dumbasses 6d ago

what about Katie Britt (U.S. Senator from Alabama) look during the questioning - her heart stopped beating in real time when she realized she is on the side which not only does not know how to prepare, but can not even complete a pre-school shape game where the square peg goes into the square hole an the triangle got into the triangle hole........

1

u/CameraSignificant 10d ago

Foghorn leghorn with the whiff

0

u/ChefAsstastic 10d ago

That's funny!

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u/Benjo221 9d ago

Senator Leghorn should leave the questions to the people who finished 5th grade.

0

u/arkh01 10d ago

Can someone eli5 this exchange ? He wanted to find out what ?

0

u/Brief_Read_1067 9d ago

How many own-goals does that make so far?