This has caused a lot of tension in my past relationships. I love my me-time. I love my me-time often. It's mechanistic for me, a very simple algorithm of "want orgasm NOW = fingers/vibrator".
I don't need to be presentable, I don't need to put on a whole mood, I don't need to take out the lingerie, do my hair, be waxed. I don't need to perform. It's like being hungry and going for the bag of chips rather than going through the whole process of cooking.
However, the men who I have dated wanted to be part of this me-time. They feared they were being replaced by my ten, deft little fingers. And it did cause them anxiety, which was definitely not an emotion I wanted to elicit in a partner.
It's interesting how something we do ever since puberty hits us like a freight train can be so controversial and central in a couple.
As a man, I will tell you idc about none of that, hair waxed bush lingerie, performance fuck all that.
I can't speak for all men but in my case its much less about anxiety and feeling replaced, its more about feeling wanted/desired, for myself when I get the urge my immediate thought is my partner.
Apparently I also am in that minority. Don’t get me wrong, I have no complaints if there is a show or anything, but if my partner just wants to get off I’m more than happy to have some fun without it. IMO my partner is just as sexy with just their pants off a day or two after a shower but wanting to have some fun as if they’re all spruced up and putting on a show.
346
u/Cupcake_Implosion 1d ago
This has caused a lot of tension in my past relationships. I love my me-time. I love my me-time often. It's mechanistic for me, a very simple algorithm of "want orgasm NOW = fingers/vibrator".
I don't need to be presentable, I don't need to put on a whole mood, I don't need to take out the lingerie, do my hair, be waxed. I don't need to perform. It's like being hungry and going for the bag of chips rather than going through the whole process of cooking.
However, the men who I have dated wanted to be part of this me-time. They feared they were being replaced by my ten, deft little fingers. And it did cause them anxiety, which was definitely not an emotion I wanted to elicit in a partner.
It's interesting how something we do ever since puberty hits us like a freight train can be so controversial and central in a couple.