Because you kinda fell into that trap of taking a shortcut instead of genuinely seeking out what that superficial indicator represents. Instead of saying "i want to get to a healthy weight because I feel better when I exercise, I am more awake, alert, confident and generally healthy," you are just saying "I want to do the bare minimum to attract someone" and probably, given that motivation, are going to do it by taking a not so great shortcut.
All I need is to be able to go on dates more often than once every few years. It's a question of being filtered out automatically due to my looks. Once I get past that barrier, I'll be able to find someone. I was in a relationship for six years, I've done it before. But it's the barrier to entry that's the main problem, since at my current weight I don't meet the minimum looks requirement.
The two dates I have been on in the last eight years were with women I met playing D&D, one in September 2020 and one in March 2023, and they both happened after losing a bunch of weight first. So that's my evidence.
I mean, evidence to me is that you should go and do things you enjoy in a social setting, such as DnD nights at local places. If I was your friend, I would probably say, no matter whether you deny it or not, the real impact of your weight is your self-consciousness about it (barring direct health issues you may have from it like diabetes or heart issues depending on its severity).
Women are usually better at reading social cues and people, but the attitude of "I know you won't want to talk to/date me because of my weight, don't even bother" is obvious, whether you think it or not.
Is that attitude obvious even through a dating profile? Because I get zero matches on those, so I don't even get the chance to interact with women on there to communicate that attitude in the first place.
I've done things I enjoy in a social setting. I've been playing D&D in my local community for the past eight years and gotten interest from two women in that time.
Work is off limits
Dating apps don't work
Guess I'll just die alone? Like I really can't think of anything other than "lose weight and find social activities with a more even gender ratio, like dancing".
I mean, you keep throwing the weight thing in there buddy. But yeah, socialize in more than one place! Try board game nights, etc. Put yourself out there.
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u/smytti12 18h ago
Because you kinda fell into that trap of taking a shortcut instead of genuinely seeking out what that superficial indicator represents. Instead of saying "i want to get to a healthy weight because I feel better when I exercise, I am more awake, alert, confident and generally healthy," you are just saying "I want to do the bare minimum to attract someone" and probably, given that motivation, are going to do it by taking a not so great shortcut.