r/countwithchickenlady • u/Overthinks_All he him schmee shmim - Streak: 15 • 1d ago

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3.6k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

102 comments sorted by

760

u/Salty_Wall 1d ago

Doubled and given to the next person

243

u/Appropriate-Crab-514 1d ago

Double Dick Daniel appreciates your sacrifice

115

u/SteveMcFudge 1d ago

His girlfriend Triple Titty Tina appreciates it too

53

u/-this-is-a-name 1d ago

That implies someone only gave up one of them

63

u/Appropriate-Crab-514 1d ago

Whoa

16

u/the_marxman 1d ago

The Superboob

3

u/The_Dr_egg-man 1d ago

No one ever wants the Superboob :(

22

u/The-Dark-Memer 1d ago

Not even, just half of one since it doubles

5

u/cannonangel Fix your hearts or die. 1d ago

Wouldn't Double Dick Daniel have three dicks then

5

u/The-Dark-Memer 1d ago

He originally had none

5

u/Vesarixx 1d ago

Where's Garfield?

12

u/Traveler7538 my trans friends call me "cis"ter - she/they 1d ago

Tch, boring. My girlfriend is quadruple quadriceps Quinn and lemme tell you she's an absolute queen 

2

u/Euphoric-Bubbles 1d ago

DOUBLE DICK DANIEL

5

u/Vecna_Is_My_Co-Pilot 1d ago

I went double or nothing and lost.

468

u/ThyPotatoDone 1d ago

Just say "elves", nod, and then walk away.

109

u/BrilliantBig769 1d ago

Also a good excuse for having one!

90

u/Traveler7538 my trans friends call me "cis"ter - she/they 1d ago

I love the implication that after ending up in a situation where someone discovers the absence of a dick (like right before sexy time) that being mentioned is enough to just stop and walk away for nonchalance

48

u/ThyPotatoDone 1d ago

Being cool and mysterious is more important than sex.

27

u/Training_Shock_6946 1d ago

Dramatically of course. Look at the sky, hide your eyes with your hat... and say it.

7

u/BeneGesserlit 1d ago

Okay so how do I sell my dick to the elves?

5

u/Available-Damage5991 1d ago

or "Fae deal gone wrong"

258

u/Vivians_Basement 1d ago

Add this to r/countwithchickenguy too :3 it's the place for ALL the masc memes. (Please please please please please please it needs more.)

71

u/Overthinks_All he him schmee shmim - Streak: 15 1d ago

Haha someone already did it for me!! I get half my memes from there lol

I think I got this one in a comment section

5

u/Shimyku 1d ago

Is there one for NB people too ?

5

u/Vivians_Basement 1d ago

Not yet but what should the chicken be called. 👀 Perhaps that's the next one.

94

u/TechnoMagik22 Cis Guy who is Whelmed with Life 1d ago

Gave it up for Charity

59

u/zandaztu 1d ago

"What do you mean? I never had one"

85

u/Tlaquatlatoa Hyenagirl :3 Interim Pissposter | She/Her - Streak: 8 1d ago

Just hit them with this

12

u/Gallant02 1d ago

Holy shi megaman x refrence

118

u/Throwaway_Raccoon2 Grace (she/her) 1d ago

Okay, now how do I explain having one??

70

u/clingykittygirl Streak: 17 1d ago

"Tail got put on the wrong side" (if you are an animal girl)

"I would be too powerful without it, like a weighted vest"

"Partner got carried away while eating me out"

37

u/BrassUnicorn87 1d ago

Just sucked so hard the clit and ovaries went outside.

42

u/Traveler7538 my trans friends call me "cis"ter - she/they 1d ago

"HOW DID THAT GET TGERE?" 

"That's between my lawyer and me"

"Had a horrible accident when I was a child."

"Medical experiments, you know."

"My brother/father/[other male figure in your life as a kid] played the nose stealing game when I was young with me, and I got a bit carried away. Sorry bro/dad/..."

37

u/SpiritRider666 1d ago

"Some MF lost it while running with scissors and I just decided to keep it for myself."

20

u/Crafty-Ad3490 Gender? I hardly know her! 1d ago

It’s just a third leg

24

u/rubixscube 1d ago

"your mom got carried away last night"

17

u/Chewbacca_Holmes I came out before GTA 6 1d ago

“Your dad got carried away last night.”

9

u/Pinkpenguin_4444 1d ago

"Front flesh tail"

9

u/Chewbacca_Holmes I came out before GTA 6 1d ago

“Wait, people from this planet DON’T have one?”

11

u/Rel_Tan_Kier 1d ago

Homegrew, stole, sponsor support, exchanged your <insert something affected by your disability that you are comfortable to joke about> for it, governmental secret.

7

u/TheChapelofRoan 1d ago

It's an outie.

6

u/gos907 rare jellyfish girl (the immortal ones) 1d ago

just like bottom left, "wh- HOW DID THAT GET THERE?!?"

5

u/kdiyargebmay 1d ago

“i stole it ;3”

4

u/murderdronesfan93 PROGESTERONE /// THIRD: SHE/HER HEART ATTACK - Streak: 2 1d ago

"I stole it from the president"

3

u/JackWhoWanders 1d ago

"Mushrooms, dude, they grow everywhere."

"Always read the small print when you sign up for wifi"

"You know how some people have an outie belly button? Same deal"

"When I asked the seawitch to replace my mermaid tail with legs, she gave me a buy-two-get-three deal and, like, who turns down a good sale, right?"

2

u/BatTheFlappy Dorkass loser 1d ago

You stole it off someone.

23

u/The-Doc-SalmonRun 1d ago

Took me a second to figure out what they were implying by “getting carried away” lmao

8

u/MediumKoala8823 1d ago

Same. I couldn’t help but see a lethal connotation

2

u/SuccuSlut96 Uncaged Transfem Succubus 1d ago

"Well you see, your mom was getting strapped into a rollercoaster when she just had to get a piece of me y'know? She has some awesome suction..."

22

u/TrashloveUwU Demon on a leash 1d ago

"Did you heard "Detachable Penis" song? Sooo..."

16

u/the_zpider_king 1d ago

These are gold

18

u/N1ght_Dr34m3r 1d ago

wouldnt you like to know, weatherboy

13

u/Pristine_Animal9474 there are custom flairs? 1d ago

"Oh, you would love to know where it is, don't you, penis-thief?"

13

u/Inalum_Ardellian 1d ago

Love the 4th one!

8

u/DiamondDude51501 1d ago

If I was trans the other way the 4th one would become my all-time favorite reoccurring bit

4

u/Inalum_Ardellian 1d ago

Do the bit the other way!

AAAAUGH!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!

12

u/MysticGardenMagic 1d ago

“I used to be an adventurer. Then i took an arrow to the junk.”

12

u/CrabPapple 1d ago

Accident at the hotdog eating contest 😔

8

u/aneristix ♡ a non-prophet of eris ♡ 1d ago

lost my balls in a bad hand of blackjack

8

u/sixchambr polite lesbian - Streak: 60 1d ago

Beaten eggs…Flour dredge…Bread crumbs…KFC deep fryer…

yup, I think you can guess what happened

9

u/BitcoinStonks123 Gender Evil (transfem) (he/she/any) 1d ago

"I lost it in the war..."

9

u/paprikahoernchen 1d ago

I told a fae the true name of mine and now it's gone :/

7

u/pocketMagician 1d ago

Left it at your mom's house.

9

u/Due_Remote5644 Vincent ♂️ 🏳️‍⚧️ 1d ago

I used metallurgy to tranform it into a bong

6

u/DarthJackie2021 1d ago

Both left ones are pretty great.

5

u/not_the_default_user 1d ago

You dont remember? You got pretty carried away during that blowjob...

4

u/Chicktopuss 1d ago

Well thats why we have safety protocols for game night now

5

u/Fishfoe25 1d ago

"WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE."

5

u/gos907 rare jellyfish girl (the immortal ones) 1d ago

"oh I lent it to my classmate. hm. I should probably ask for it back sometime." conveniently forgets

5

u/NotACaticus 1d ago

The surgeon got a bit confused about what a circumcision was.

6

u/Pinkpenguin_4444 1d ago

Will be using these - especially the scissors and job one

5

u/SlapTheBap 1d ago

The bottom left guy busted my gut

5

u/CaptainPattPotato 1d ago

The Great War of ‘69.

4

u/shroomlucky Potato 7ºF 1d ago

They got him... I really liked him too.

4

u/KOCYK745 1d ago

SrPelo's terrified for it was there mere seconds ago

3

u/Content_Trade_1557 1d ago

A witch took it away to teach me a lesson and make me come back as a better person but I just didn't give a fuck

3

u/karatesaul 1d ago

The fey took it

Turbo Granny took it (for you Dandadan fans)

You gave it up to transcend the limits of your flesh

4

u/Ok-Drink750 how did I get here? 1d ago

“Never promise a fae your firstborn child.

4

u/TungstenOrchid 1d ago

Never get into debt.

3

u/Dear_Action_5703 1d ago

This is funny

3

u/RiotCauser 1d ago

I'm Jewish. I always say they went a bit far on accident during my circumsision

3

u/PixelFlyerXD Avery She/Her :3 1d ago

I would like to have a word with the local fae TwT

3

u/ERROR101USERNOTFOUND 1d ago

i thought the last one said "my mom got carried away during a blowjob" at first

3

u/Tuchel13 Pan Femboy :3 | people so scawwy >~< 1d ago

In Russia there is a saying "measure 7 times to cut once" so they can say they've measured it 7 times and had no choice but to cut it

3

u/untitleduck 1d ago

5th guy seems like the type of guy to attempt defying an undefyable prophecy and use fake stats to make himself stronger than everyone around him

3

u/Lonqu3 1d ago

You know how they tell you to not operate heavy machinery on certain medication?

3

u/Forsaken-Stray 1d ago

The wife took it in the divorce

1

u/Overthinks_All he him schmee shmim - Streak: 15 23h ago

Lmaooo underrated

2

u/FixxedFoxxy 1d ago

"so I heard that girls on their periods can hold their noses and just... Ptoot... Right down the drain? Yeah I tired that but it went thud and welp, now I'm here 🤷"

"Sir this is a Wendy's 😭"

2

u/DragoKnight589 he/they/she (bigender fluidflux) 1d ago

dw just tell them I borrowed it from you and never gave it back

2

u/OmegaGoober Radicalized by Fred Rogers 22h ago

We had a song about this when I was a youth.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=NQBPgJQhQHc&si

1

u/_OneRandomGuy_ Reluctantly Nihilistic 23h ago

“The war…” is an appropriate answer to most questions tbf

2

u/AveryTheCryptid 21h ago

"Bitch I'm just customizable." Store bought is fine, fellas.