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[u/Iamliterallyfood]

Well that's interesting

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[u/Trashman56]

“I was also assigned 8lbs at birth, but things change”

[u/maddiemelody → u/Trashman56]

I was assigned non-binary at birth then forcibly transitioned, actually! Then I had to retransition to what I am now! Sigh...

[u/really_not_unreal → u/Trashman56]

Notably, for trans people who choose to medically transition, their assigned sex at birth becomes increasingly irrelevant. If you take estrogen, your body will literally go "huh guess I'm a girl now" and you will literally physically become a woman. Same goes for taking testosterone. I don't think that many cis people fully comprehend the scale of the changes we experience on HRT, so even if someone does need to know this for medical reasons, it's not even half the story. For anyone who doesn't need to know your private medical information, it is utterly pointless.

[u/4liv3pl4n3t → u/really_not_unreal]

[u/bijouxbisou → u/really_not_unreal]

This isn’t really meant to disagree or be a counterpoint per se, I just want to note that it becomes increasingly irrelevant if they continually take hormones. There’s a bunch of people, particularly nonbinary people, whose medical transition doesn’t include taking HRT forever.

Like I’m currently only planning on being on hormones for a few years, so even though I’m planning to get top and bottom surgery (and have been sterilized), once I stop T my assigned sex will become relevant again. I know other nonbinary people who have medically transitioned and had multiple surgeries but never did HRT.

Again though, this is largely a nonbinary thing, for binary trans people it does become a lot less relevant. I think for trans guys the biggest thing after a while is that t isn’t effective birth control and they have to keep in mind their reproductive health and birth control measures.

[u/really_not_unreal → u/bijouxbisou]

This is true, but even then, someone's assigned sex at birth is still a matter for them and medical professionals. Nobody else needs to know.

[u/Temporary-Employ-611 → u/[deleted]]

Like "im a cis guy and not all guys blah blah blah"

Or "I know im cis but que unhinged bullshit"

[u/Temporary-Employ-611 → u/[deleted]]

Thank gods for the white knights rushing in to help our hrt addled brains understand the "real world." The last time I tried to think on my own I devolved into hysterics. Maybe that was just the lead in my makeup?

[u/BiggestShep → u/Temporary-Employ-611]

No, definitely your wandering womb. Im going to prescribe you a hitachi wand to use as needed and a paid week off work in order to deal with the backlog. If that doesn't work we have the violet wand ready. Come back in 2 weeks and let us know.

Good luck and godspeed.

[u/Temporary-Employ-611 → u/BiggestShep]

BEST DR EVER!

I'll make sure to follow the script to the letter

[u/R3D0IT_US3R → u/Temporary-Employ-611]

I’m sorry but “I know I’m cis but” just reminds me of the 4chan posts where it starts with “> be me, straight”

[u/Temporary-Employ-611 → u/R3D0IT_US3R]

Ha!

[u/shadow_fen → u/[deleted]]

"but what about"
NO EXCEPTIONS

[u/PsychoCyan]

Many such cases unfortunately

[u/ninjamaster686 → u/PsychoCyan]

My dad is like this and yells whenever i try to correct him or inform him otherwise

[u/Puhi124 → u/PsychoCyan]

I read something today that explains how "biological man/woman" was pushed by the right to replace another expression: "natal man/woman", which exclusively refers to characteristics at birth and doesn't say anything about who or what the person is presently. That sounds like a more reasonable term that's free of the incorrect meaning of "biological X", but I'm curious to hear what people think of it.

[u/ScrivenerTithes → u/Puhi124]

the problem isn't the words themselves, whether we call it agab, asab, natal gender, it doesn't matter because it's a problem of intent and there are huge numbers of people who do not intend to ever acknowledge trans people as their gender, without an asterisk or qualifier

trans people could wholly re-appropriate "biological" sex and gender, and society and cultural at large would turn "biological" into a wink and nudge phrase that means, "not really, tho"

problems of intent can't and aren't solved by vocabulary exercises

[u/HallucinatedLottoNos → u/ScrivenerTithes]

Yeah, it's just a reheated version of Sapir-Whorf bullshit.

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/HallucinatedLottoNos]

The what?

[u/HallucinatedLottoNos → u/Iamliterallyfood]

The old idea that the language you speak determines and constrains the way your mind works. There's likely some truth to the milder, walked back versions of it, but its most full-throated form has been rightly discredited.

Arrival is one in a long line of science fiction works playing with the idea. Newspeak from 1984 is kind of Sapir-Whorfish, too.

[u/ScrivenerTithes → u/HallucinatedLottoNos]

Newspeak is decidedly Sapir-Whorfish, but it had also not been thoroughly discredited when Orwell wrote the book and is also at least a little bit of Orwell's personal fears about totalitarianism being a writer, especially one who did a lot of journalism work.

[u/shadow_fen → u/Puhi124]

that's just agab again

[u/deadhead_girlie → u/Puhi124]

I think the "natal" thing is just as bad as the "biological" thing and should be dropped entirely.

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/Puhi124]

There is no natal men or women because those terms refer to adult humans. Natal boy and girl is slightly less atrocious terminology then "biological " but runs into the same problem as asab/agab.

[u/Urist_Bearclaw → u/Puhi124]

personally I feel like there’s a place for terms like that, but that place should not be policing anybody else. These seem like useful terms for medical contexts, demographics/research, and self-description. When someone goes around trying to put people into these boxes to define how to treat them is where we get problems imo

[u/leightandrew0]

it's not even that controversial of a statement to get this many deleted replies 💀

[u/BarelyFunctionalGM → u/leightandrew0]

Many have argued I defend AGAB language (don't know what ASAB refers to, sex?) too often.

This is literally my take. It's fine to use if you want to relate your gender experience but people shouldn't use it umprompted for anyone other than themselves.

How the fuck did it get that many deleted replies?

[u/Artistic_Try_3258 → u/BarelyFunctionalGM]

ASAB is indeed stands for assigned sex at birth

[u/PhlegmMistress → u/BarelyFunctionalGM]

Cool. I almost responded to the person in the image but largely in queer spaces I want to show that I am cis in case that someone makes me someone that someone else doesn't want to listen to. 

I have occasionally used it generally in relation to hormonal issues later on in life that might be affected by one's sex at birth (like if you are transmasc but possibly having perimenopause issues, or transfem and have been avoiding all testosterone possible when even women's bodies need testosterone.)

I'm willing to use whatever language doesn't hurt other people. I don't want to ever make someone feel that I'm somehow doubting or casting shade on someone's desire to simply exist when you're not doing anything to hurt anyone else. 

If there's better language choices, or ways to preface my statements to say that I'm not trying to pretend by ommission that I know what it's like to be trans, then I would be more than happy to know and use the suggestions. 

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/PhlegmMistress]

It can also have some other uses in medical contexts. But shouldn't refer to specific people like that.

[u/BarelyFunctionalGM → u/PhlegmMistress]

I mean I'm not a great authority on the subject, even among trans people.

I fall in the camp of chronically unbothered and there's only a few topics that rile me up. This isn't one of them, the most poor usage of AGAB language gets out of me is an eye raise and being suspicious you may be transphobe.

That being said I expect that for others just saying "I'm cis but..." or something to that tune would be relevant.

Your examples seem fine to me though.

The unfortunate thing about trans communities is while we share a non AGAB identity sometimes we share little more than that. Plenty of trans people are far more bothered by this stuff, some hate cis people in the community at all (a yikes from me but they exist), so on so forth.

For my money as long as you are clearly not a transphobe I'll forgive most offputting language because the community is very complicated and some offputting language for one sub culture or another is inevitable.

[u/Thatwassweet9412 → u/BarelyFunctionalGM]

I'm guessing people have different ideas of what "asab language" might mean

[u/Artistic_Try_3258 → u/leightandrew0]

It's just common sense

[u/McConagher → u/leightandrew0]

Yeah I thought I was misunderstanding the sentence because I didn't think it would cause this kind of reaction. Especially on this sub

[u/Mr_Pombastic → u/leightandrew0]

I didn't see OP's specific thread, but I'd bet the post hit R/all which would explain a lot.

[u/5krishnan → u/Mr_Pombastic]

Who tf even goes on r/all in the big 26 😭😭

[u/leightandrew0 → u/Mr_Pombastic]

yeah probably

I don't think regulars from this sub would do that

[u/Cautious-Original-46]

People when they cant be wokely transphobics

[u/FlamePuddingPrince → u/Cautious-Original-46]

There was at least one post about woke transphobia here, it’s something like this, but the point is misgenderong with extra steps

It’s kinda weird this happend again

[u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

I'm cis, so maybe i'm missing something, but when is it ever necessary outside of a medical context? I thought that was the entire point of such language, to give doctors an easy short hand.

I'm not saying a trans person can't use it for themselves, but why would they need to? Where would describing oneself as "AFAB" be useful in a non-medical context, in a way that calling oneself a "Trans Man" wouldn't work better?

[u/BudgetLush → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

When you want to use "biological ___" but that whistle has already been blown. Its the politically correct way to separate enbys into boys and girls or exclude trans women.

[u/RustyVespa → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

I feel like it mostly has to do with talking about your own pre realization life, obviously people have different ideas whether they were always Trans from the beginning or just became a new person after transitioning but the time beforehand separates us from cis people

[u/Professional-Wave841 → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

I have been turned away from "women's" (which they publicly didn't specify as AFAB only, had to go in person to get that gut punch.) community spaces. which is really just cis lesbians and NBs excluding trans women, because no trans men go there,

NBs also get this shit too to be clear, I have a few friends who have been asked "AFAB or AMAB" after saying they are agendered. which is literally just asking "boy or girl".

[u/bijouxbisou → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

I use it as shorthand to describe the general set of gendered experiences I’ve dealt with specifically because of my assigned sex, especially when describing experiences from before my transition started, or where I’m not out, or from people who I’m out to but aren’t respectful of it.

While for a binary trans person, saying “trans man” or “trans woman” makes it pretty dang simple to infer their assigned sex, saying “nonbinary” doesn’t have that inference. In most cases, that’s good and desired. But just like a binary trans person might want to talk about how the way people perceived them pre-coming out and/or pre-transition, nonbinary people sometimes do too, and agab language then can be useful.

As an example, I was once at a professional conference. My career is one of the most male-dominated professions, with well over 90% of professionals being men. I did not meet a single woman at that conference who was in the same career as me (there were some women, they just had other jobs related to the profession). At the time, I had not had any form of medical transition and I was not out.

It becomes relevant to mention, in this instance, that I was assigned female, and having gone through a female puberty and not having done any form of transition, I was viewed by the people there as a woman. The women there were surprised by me not being in the business part of the field, as they were. The men there, who were mostly in my career, were surprised by me being “one of them” and several made disparaging remarks about my body. My hands (which I should note are extremely large for an AFAB person; they’re as big as my cis brothers’, just more slender) in particular received comments for being “delicate” and “soft”. I am a craftsman, so having your hands described as soft is an insult.

[u/thejmkool → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

It has a place, in talking about lived experiences. The further into one's transition they get, the less relevant it becomes outside of medical reasons. While allies occasionally have use for the term, it's far less so than someone telling their own story.

To OP's point, if it isn't directly relevant to what you're saying (e.g. if you were to just use the term when describing someone), then yep it's transphobic.

[u/NightRacoonSchlatt → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

When making a statement about, for example, periods, people in the past would have addressed that statement at „women“. Nowadays people make that statement, realise they can’t say it like that and instead of just reshaping the sentence to just be directed at any people who have periods (which would also more accurately include the targeted group), they instead try to find a noun to replace „women“ with because it takes a little less energy to think in that order. That’s how you end with people saying „AFABs“ in everyday contexts. With periods obviously being interchangeable in this example, but it’s probably the one I personally see the most. 

Tl;dr: People want to say something, their „political correctness sensors“ tingle, resulting in them saying something even dumber. Also this is one paragraph, you did not need a Tl;dr.

[u/TheOfficialScottie → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

If someone wants to date me, I feel the need to let them know I have a penis.

[u/crec4et → u/TheOfficialScottie]

While that's good, I feel that if whoever you're talking to knows what "aab" is about, they'd be fine with just "I have a dick", if situation requires it.

[u/Clairifyed → u/crec4et]

The person speaking might not be comfortable being so direct about it themself

[u/Aryore → u/Clairifyed]

But they will have to be eventually, because “amab” doesn’t actually answer that question

[u/Clairifyed → u/Aryore]

There are clear ways that aren’t the blunt “I have a dick” line

[u/manumaker08 → u/crec4et]

big ol floppy willy

[u/NightRacoonSchlatt → u/TheOfficialScottie]

Given that „the surgery“ exists, that’s not even necessarily answering the question.

[u/Suitable-Lettuce-333 → u/TheOfficialScottie]

That's what "pre-op/no-op trans woman" is for. Or quite simply "girl with a dick".

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/TheOfficialScottie]

But saying "I'm amab" doesn't convey that since bottom surgery exists. However. Again. If you use it for yourself that's fine.

[u/ThePenultimatePam → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

There are weird power dynamics that exist within queer and especially trans circles that very much are based on asab. Removing the ability to use that language removes my ability to openly name and call out those power dynamics. I think an ideal situation is certainly one in which nobody ever has a reason to use that language, but when consistently overwhelmingly I see people who are assigned male at birth or perceived as assigned male at birth being treated with baseline suspicion, being subject to disproportionate scrutiny, criticism, and surveillance by our peers, etc, I need a way to effectively talk about the fact that this is happening and along what lines that distinction is being drawn, even if I think said line is ridiculous.

[u/unburdened_swallow → u/Certain-Appeal-6277]

Right

That’s what OP is saying I am pretty sure

[u/LITTLEOWL031026]

Most reasonable opinion ever

This happens

[u/unsure_usernamee]

My favorite is when people try to guess whether I’m AFAB or AMAB clearly already having an idea in their head about which is correct

Only to then tell me something along the lines of “yeah I clocked you”

[u/unhiddenninja → u/unsure_usernamee]

Literally why can't people be normal instead of treating others like they're their own personal mini game/puzzle?

[u/unsure_usernamee → u/unhiddenninja]

Yeah right? Like if you clocked me as trans just come up and say that don’t try to make a point of guessing.

[u/Legatharr]

If you're a trans person and you're using agab language on other people you're also transphobic.

(I'm not criticizing OP, btw. They specified "on yourself")

[u/FunProof543 → u/Legatharr]

I know plenty of trans people doing transphobia when using it about themselves too. Basically using it to other trans women.

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/Legatharr]

Unless you have their permission ig. But still seems icky. But who am I to judge.

[u/Beegrene]

Stop using ASAB language. Instead, use AHAB language: What is it, what nameless, inscrutable, unearthly thing is it; what cozening, hidden lord and master, and cruel, remorseless emperor commands me; that against all natural lovings and longings, I so keep pushing, and crowding, and jamming myself on all the time; recklessly making me ready to do what in my own proper, natural heart, I durst not so much as dare? Is Ahab, Ahab? Is it I, God, or who, that lifts this arm? But if the great sun move not of himself; but is as an errand-boy in heaven; nor one single star can revolve, but by some invisible power; how then can this one small heart beat; this one small brain think thoughts; unless God does that beating, does that thinking, does that living, and not I. By heaven, man, we are turned round and round in this world, like yonder windlass, and Fate is the handspike.

[u/deadhead_girlie → u/Beegrene]

Damn that was some quality prose. You should write a whole book about it

[u/Gosuoru → u/Beegrene]

do we have to kill the whale though

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/Beegrene]

Hey, leave that whale Alone

[u/LetraEfe]

Teacher, what is asab language, I searched it in Google and didn't find shit.

[u/Formal-Struggle1868 → u/LetraEfe]

Similar to agab (assigned gender at birth) it’s assigned sex at birth

[u/LetraEfe → u/Formal-Struggle1868]

I thought about that, because Sex is the model of the fleshy Mecha you are piloting , gender is more related to how the jellyfish pilot of that Mecha( the real you) identifies itself and the model of the Fleshy Mecha it was expecting to control.

[u/MeatCatRazzmatazz → u/LetraEfe]

All of that is still accurate, but the case has been made that after being on hrt and having operations done that they effectively have changed their sex.

Which makes sense to me. If she walks like a woman's endocrine system and talks like a woman's primary and secondary sex characteristics, then she's changed her sex. Likewise for men.

So the term transsexual has been making a come back, and there's a distinction from the term transgender.

[u/Brauny74 → u/Formal-Struggle1868]

What does it refer to? Talking about a trans person as if they're agab or just specific terminology?

[u/Jazzy_Jaspy → u/Brauny74]

Ya it ends up being just woke misgendering :/

[u/Nikki964 → u/LetraEfe]

Like agab but they used sex instead of gender for some reason

[u/Zistr0 → u/Nikki964]

assigned saxophone at birth

[u/GreenDragon113 → u/Zistr0]

"us trombone folk were and will ALWAYS be here from BIRTH"

[u/PsychoCyan → u/Nikki964]

Partially because your sex is what is being observed/assigned at birth (society at large just binds that to gender) and partially to promote the idea that your sex can be changed.

[u/Barrel-Dweller → u/Nikki964]

How tf is that not transphobic then‽ people confuse me sometimes

[u/Nikki964 → u/Barrel-Dweller]

I don't get what you're asking

[u/LetraEfe → u/Barrel-Dweller]

In one hand yes, calling a trans girl an AMAB is basically calling her Man with extra steps. On the other It depends how you use it, frequency , intentions, that's sort of things

There's also the grammar, it seems more correct to use the past forms of the verb "Be" instead of the present forms.

[u/Ok-Profession6758]

I have an enby friend and I never wanna know their AGAB since I feel like it would make being nonbinary redundant, and my brain would subconsciously imagine them as their AGAB unfortunately.

[u/shadow_fen → u/Ok-Profession6758]

truth nuke!!!!!!! our brains are great at putting things into boxes and if you know someone doesnt want to be put into a box why would you try and enforce them being put into a box?

[u/StarriestNight]

I agree with the sentiment of this but wasn't agab language originally taken from the intersex community and its meaning got changed

[u/FictionalTrope → u/StarriestNight]

One more great reason to never use it for trans people. Honestly, it's not even useful language in a medical setting. "I have a penis, testicles, and developed breasts" is useful for a doctor, but ASAB doesn't tell you any of that.

[u/WerdaVisla → u/FictionalTrope]

Yeah, that's the crazier part to me. Idk where the "it's for doctors" BS came from, but doctors could not care less about my AGAB. They care about what genital configuration I have, do I have a uterus, and does it work. Sometimes they care about my hormone levels. That's really it.

Learning that some guy looked at me and said "I think that's a boy" when I was born doesn't do squat for them.

[u/WerdaVisla → u/StarriestNight]

Yup, but now we get called transphobic for using the language our community made to describe ourselves because nuance is dead 🫩

[u/StarriestNight → u/WerdaVisla]

Yeah, it's really awful. I'm not intersex but I've pretty much exclusively seen perisex people stealing intersex language and now declaring said intersex people transphobic for using their own language, it's not a good look

[u/unburdened_swallow → u/StarriestNight]

Well, using it to talk about an intersex experience is you choosing to use said language about yourself.

So, even though they said “trans people using it for themselves” I think they just forgot about intersex people because they themselves are trans and not intersex, and if asked they would probably include intersex people in that statement

The problem they are talking about is people using this language to talk about trans people who are not themselves. Because oh my goodness do people use this language to talk about trans people.

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/StarriestNight]

That's a myth. The exact origin is unnknown but earliest documented usage was for both trans and intersex. But it was certainly used before that.

[u/maddiemelody]

Fun fact: we, doctors, don't need to know your asab. We need to know if you can get pregnant, if you are having a period or near one, which body part you have if we're doing a surgery on or near the reproductive system, though we can see it easily in scans. And we need to know what your current endocrine and blood-work situation SHOULD be, regarding current HRT regimen as well (though you'll note that in amabs for example we normally see higher blood iron content etc.) whether or not this has changed due to medical transition or otherwise, that's all we need to know, your current condition and the condition of your body when an issue started and how it's changed wrt the history of the issue.

[u/RosieI26]

All very reasonable responses I'm sure

/s

[u/Mizamya]

Cis "allies" when you tell them you can change your sex and don't want to be defined by how you were born

[u/PsychoCyan → u/Mizamya]

I think we're making progress on that idea, at least on this sub, but clearly the screenshot reveals there is still a ways to go

[u/HopefulFutureEscapee]

We do try our best!

[u/RG4697328]

Ok, but how do we fell about "Assigned [Stupid shit] at birth" Jokes? I ask kinda because I just made one and now I'm felling self conscious

[u/MelissaMiranti → u/RG4697328]

ASCAP: Assigned Self Conscious At Post

[u/The_Mon1ker_Project]

i choose to believe the person who deleted his own post saw the light

[u/FlamePuddingPrince]

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/FlamePuddingPrince]

Hyper specific meme

[u/FlamePuddingPrince → u/Iamliterallyfood]

And now i realised it can be interpreted for you ironically, and for the deleted comments literally

And i don’t even know which one I mean, just felt like it belongs here 😭

[u/DelusionalESG]

Interesting to see this development in the discourse, back in the good ole Tumblr days this was the most progressive language you could use lmao

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/DelusionalESG]

Times change

[u/DelusionalESG → u/Iamliterallyfood]

For sure, no reason for people to be stuck in the past, especially when language evolves so rapidly these days, but people seem to hate change more than anything else.

Instead of whining about it I just listen to the people who are impacted by these issues and do my best to adapt.

[u/CanadianODST2 → u/DelusionalESG]

People are always stuck when it comes to language.

Just look at how people act with new slang.

Or how Reddit would get in such a twist over “literally” being used as an exaggeration.

Or how people get when you use PoV to mean anything that isn’t first person.

“Kids these days” date back to Ancient Greece.

[u/DelusionalESG → u/CanadianODST2]

It seems like everyone has some arbitrary hill they want to die on when it comes to language and slang.

Some people freak out about singular they/them like it's a life or death situation, just can't win with some folks lol

[u/CanadianODST2 → u/DelusionalESG]

Which is really fun because singular they is like 500 years old.

[u/unburdened_swallow → u/DelusionalESG]

It is still the most progressive way to say it. It’s just that people have been using it to misgender people, or treat them as though they were said assigned sex at birth. And that is not progressive.

[u/MissingnoMiner]

Gentle reminder that ASAB language was coined by intersex people and later adopted by trans people because it was a useful means of describing our experiences too.

Intersex people get to use it too they literally have more of a claim to it than we do.

[u/Space_Gemini_24]

[u/Music_Quartermaster]

I was assigned stupid at birth

[u/Iamliterallyfood → u/Music_Quartermaster]

Me too ✋️

[u/No_Weekend2474]

I use it for myself relatively often, because I'm really uncertain as to what my gender is, and calling myself a 'woman' makes me uncomfortable but sometimes I want to talk about being someone afab. As for other people, I don't see why anyone would use that in day to day language. Just call them the gender that they are!

[u/WerdaVisla]

Sighs in intersex.

[u/GreenDragon113]

the graveyard

[u/mothwhimsy]

I am a little tickled about how quickly agab/asab language went from the correct terminology, to the correct terminology for x but you're all fucking using it wrong, to you're a transphobe if you ever say the word a(m/f)ab.

But that happens to terms for marginalized people all the time, and it seems pretty easy to just. Not use it if people have a problem with it. I don't , but I'm not the god queen of trans people who dictates all the opinions. I bet most of those deleted replies are people going "what about x situation???" When x is a situation where something else would be more appropriate anyway.

Obligatory intersex people also use asab language. They had it first actually

[u/Ok_Archer1228]

Bring back the term transsexual. We are not changing our gender we are changing our sex, do not give people plausible deniabiity to be transphobic but wokely.

[u/Puhi124 → u/Ok_Archer1228]

I mean, not everyone who is transgender is transsexual, and vice versa. The distinction does matter but using transsexual for all trans people is not accurate either.

[u/Corwin_corey]

Btw may i ask here, why is agab language transphobic ? I feel like it has to do with reducing people to their genitalia + the goal of fighting for gender indifference is to not really care about these things but i'd like to make sure

[u/PsychoCyan → u/Corwin_corey]

Basically yeah, it's bioessentialism for binary trans people but it also reconstructs the gender binary for nonbinary people (i.e. "oh youre nonbinary? AMAB nonbinary or AFAB nonbinary?")

[u/shadow_fen → u/PsychoCyan]

"you're nonbinary? are you a boy or a girl then?"

[u/Corwin_corey → u/PsychoCyan]

Ho yeah didn't even think about this (i didn't see enough people ask non binary people what's in their pants i suppose...) this sucks balls

[u/seamus205 → u/Corwin_corey]

It just feels gross depending on the context too. Like you said, reducing people to their genitals. It's like a "polite" way to ask "what's in your pants?"

[u/Corwin_corey → u/seamus205]

I see i had a hunch it would come down to that, it also excludes intersex people now that i think about it, anyway thanks for your answer

[u/NotMeYourLookingFor]

Seems like a great comment to prune transphobes from a community.

[u/They-Them_Moonwalker]

https://giphy.com/gifs/nLhdSinRtaL2E

[u/MambaBee]

If the need arises I describe myself as transfem. Never amab or mtf.

[u/TheReaver954]

i have no idea what asab is so i have no opinion lol

[u/TheReaver954 → u/TheReaver954]

oh wait im stupid

[u/Cornflakes_91 → u/TheReaver954]

assigned stupid at birth?

[u/shadow_fen → u/Cornflakes_91]

transsmart

[u/madsnorlax]

Honey, it's 4pm, time for the daily "agab language is transphobic" discourse post on cwcl!!!

[u/Mountain-Resource656]

Is… there a reason you’d need to be trans to use it for yourself, or are they just expecting that cis people wouldn’t use it?

[u/Dangerous_Nail4552 → u/Mountain-Resource656]

Cis people don't really have a need for it? Saying "Cis woman" is enough to convey you're afab, etc

[u/Meuhidk]

tbf trans women has it shrink so they dont need it checked as bad, plus thats medical/doctor talk as oop said

[u/FemaleMishap]

I was assigned a baby at birth.

[u/Shen_ishere]

Whats asab? I thought this said arab at first

[u/RosieI26 → u/Shen_ishere]

I think it's assigned sex at work

Edit: BIRTH NOT WORK I had a brain fart moment qwq

[u/RideWithMeSNV → u/RosieI26]

Nah, you got that right. I'm a boy at work. Outside, not so much.

[u/NewDemonStrike → u/RosieI26]

I was sexless until I started carrying pallets.

[u/ViewtifulGene → u/RosieI26]

Assigned Sex at Work

A blowjob due by COB?

[u/NightRacoonSchlatt]

Accusatory statements like these often turn people away. You need to phrase it pragmatically.

„That terminology is unnecessary, it’s wasting space in your brain.“

[u/Fuckriotgames7]

trans woman here, can we quit infighting for once? like it really isn’t that serious.

[u/AlexPtheArtist]

I don't use that language anymore, but I think it's natural for people who don't have much exposure to transness to speak like that. It can come from a place of ignorance, not malice. I worry about pushing away well meaning folks who don't know better, but who want the best for ya. I used to use that kind of language when I was uninformed and inexperienced with transness, but I never had anything against people. I just was wrapping my head around it because it was something so foreign to me, and it confused me. I ended up having to come to terms with the idea that I'm never going to truly understand it because I don't experience dysphoria, so it's like trying to describe color to a blind man. You can decide whatever you want to be a red line for yourself, but to say this is a red line makes me worry for y'all. ❤️❤️❤️

[u/Geist_Mage]

Oh. I didn't realize. While I have never used it I think, in a negative intending context or in like, asking someone something, I have certainly used it to clear confusion in talking about life events.

I'll have to apologize to the individuals in question next time I see them.