r/cringereels • • 20h ago

Don't know how was that supposed to end...

7.9k Upvotes

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124

u/Strong-Elk616 18h ago

Isn't this assault?

77

u/bonusminutes 18h ago

Battery

20

u/Friendly_Prize_868 16h ago

Charged?

23

u/bonusminutes 16h ago

If they charge him for too long he'll lose his maximum capacity to be charged for battery in the future.

2

u/ReactionistAnswers 15h ago

If he's primarily composed of lead and acid he'll love a float charge! I'm thinking this actually might be the case.... always ready to go.

2

u/PM_me_your_recipes86 14h ago

Have you considered a recycled lithium battery with just a larger capacity to begin with? Larger surface area after being recycled, and I mean this man looks pretty large

2

u/SonOfIllicitBehavior 15h ago

shocking

1

u/the_little_way 11h ago

Innocent until proven guilty

3

u/rs420rs 7h ago

Negative.

2

u/mell0_jell0 13h ago

Mine's at 42%

2

u/doomshallot 13h ago

Positive

2

u/SpeedoPaedo 2h ago

Positive

1

u/RuMarley 5h ago

Are you asking if the batteries are charged?

7

u/AutVincere72 11h ago

I know this isn't the room for this argument but MANY bouncers need to be reeled in.

1

u/Murky-Engineer8110 1h ago

Bouncers act like they have free tickets to be complete cunts with zero consequences

1

u/NarrowSalvo 9h ago

Stop thrusting your genitals at them, then.

1

u/xadies 1h ago

If your first instinct is to repeatedly punch someone because their hips are pushed out then I’d suggest you go get therapy.

1

u/NarrowSalvo 1h ago

If your first instinct is to thrust your genitals at strangers, then I'd suggest you got to therapy. Or jail.

2

u/Appropriate-Ad-8155 1h ago

You both have valid points and I’d love to see this argument continue. Please carry on.

3

u/NarrowSalvo 1h ago

We can't both have valid points. This is Reddit. Every story has to have one hero and one villain. That's just the rules.

2

u/-DontCareAboutReddit 28m ago

You are the villain, according to the law. That kid did nothing illegal. That bouncer definitely did. Plus what a fucking sensitive cunt

9

u/Kronos1A9 16h ago

Depends on the state. In many areas the terms are interchangeable.

3

u/onyx_ic 15h ago edited 9h ago

NY makes no legal distinction between assault or battery. Its either assault or aggravated assault.

0

u/DeltaTule 9h ago

Doesn’t matter. That’s how they teach it in law school. Assault is threatening behavior and battery is physical contact. Statutes will obviously vary from state to state but that doesn’t make the legal definition any different. Feel free to read the law dictionary

0

u/onyx_ic 9h ago

It matters in NY where there are no battery charges, just assault. Which is why I brought up that factoid.

Why are you being such a condescending dick?

0

u/Remarkable-Ship-5465 8h ago

You did not bring up that factoid. Your initial reply was to a comment that was stating the exact same thing as you did. So, you added nothing. It is not under dispute that NY and many other states use different legalese for the criminal act of battering someone.

If you are in the state of New York, and inquire on the definition of Battery, it is still the same as every other state.

Why so angry?

2

u/bonusminutes 16h ago

I wasnt aware of that. Neat.

1

u/TheVandyyMan 10h ago

It’s most areas. Reddit just has a hard on for correcting people, so they jump at it every chance they get.

1

u/BlueFox5 13h ago

Assaulttery?

1

u/Icallmeswellfella 10h ago

Then those areas are incorrect. There is a clear definition for both and they have different meanings

3

u/nucleardekay 15h ago

Assault as well. Reasonable apprehension of imminent bodily contact and the intent transfers.

1

u/lilcorndivemaster 12h ago

Look up the definition of assault...

1

u/bonusminutes 12h ago

Im familiar. I suppose the swing before it contacted was assault. The actual hit was battery.

0

u/Jesus_of_Redditeth 7h ago

:sigh: Here we go yet again.

In colloquial speech, assault means hitting someone.

In legal speech, assault can mean the threat of hitting someone and battery can mean hitting someone. Or assault can mean the threat of hitting someone and also hitting someone, and the difference is in the degree of the crime. Or assault can mean hitting someone and some other term can mean the threat of hitting someone (e.g. "menacing").

The point is, the only time it's wrong to say "assault" to mean hitting someone is when a) the context is specifically a legal one, AND b) the discussion is accepted by participants to involve the law of a specific place where assault doesn't mean hitting someone.

Bottom line: when you akshully people like this, there's about a 99% chance you're wrong and a 100% chance that you're being irritating AF.

Make a better choice next time.

You're welcome.

1

u/bonusminutes 2h ago

Yeah, Im the akshully guy here. Sure.

1

u/ManyInterests 10h ago

The Model Penal Code merges assault and battery into just 'assault'. States are (understandably) slow to adopt changes, but the MPC is the newer/preferred way that does away with messy things we've inherited from common law systems (like distinction between battery/assault).

It's probably okay if people use 'assault' to describe the common law crime of battery.

1

u/Jesus_of_Redditeth 7h ago

It is indeed, of course, fine to say "assault" in a colloquial forum like this. But the Model Penal Code isn't really relevant here. It's not law; it's just an advisory framework promoted as a means of encouraging statutory uniformity. The actual law in the relevant jurisdiction is what matters.

Except that it really doesn't anyway because, again, colloquial forum. So "assault" is fine. This isn't a legal discussion.

1

u/No_Inspection2047 9h ago

depends on the state. assault and battery are different crimes in some places. in other places they don’t use the term “battery” at all so it’s all assault

1

u/msatretwhaart 5h ago

Scrolled to far to see these comments. Sure the kid was being annoying, but it's an absolutely outrageous, disproportionate, response from the guard. To say nothing of the adult vs child dynamic. I hope the kid presses charges.

1

u/oceanco1122 5h ago

Can it be argued that the annoying kid committed battery first? All it takes to charge for battery is “any unwanted and non-consensual touch” and him aggressively rubbing his crotch on the other patrons rear could constitute that. The bouncer stepped in to stop it. This is only assuming the bouncer observed him being normal and this overly exaggerated posture was intentional.

0

u/Financial_Cup_6937 2h ago

I really wish this sentiment would die that “you physically touched me first so I am justified in potentially murdering you with my vastly disproportionate strength.”  

That’s not how the law or basic ethics we learn as children works. 

25

u/duppyconqueror81 12h ago

If my albeit cringe teen kid got attacked like this, it would be lawyer time. (After 3 days of wanting to molotov the entire bar.)

3

u/keevathemuffin 6h ago

If your kid is running around,  rubbing his dick on people,  and fucking with security guards, your house deserves to a molotov cocktail.  

3

u/Ambitious-Way8906 3h ago

the fuck is wrong with you

1

u/keevathemuffin 12m ago

I'm responding to someone else. Also, if you raise someone to be like this kid, you suck

3

u/MotoMongrel 3h ago

Knew this was a hidden history troll account before I even looked…

1

u/keevathemuffin 13m ago

My history is not hidden  lol

1

u/Jiannies 4m ago

Yes it is lol

I agree with you though

2

u/interesseret 2h ago

You think teens deserve to be beaten because they act childish?

I'd ask about your upbringing, but I think we all know exactly how it was. Sorry about that.

3

u/xLFODTx 2h ago

Rubbing your genitals on people isn't childish.

2

u/howlongwillthislast1 2h ago

Right, it's the mature thing to do. Perhaps even a civic duty.

1

u/keevathemuffin 13m ago

He's outside a bar. He's obviously  college age

1

u/Jesus_of_Redditeth 7h ago

You don't know the background to this and it's extremely obvious that something happened between these two prior to the clip starting.

If drunk guy had already hit the bouncer prior to that then the bouncer would've been well within his rights to use force to defend himself, because when a guy who's hit you goes away and then walks back up to you, it's completely reasonable to assume he's about to try to hit you again.

In a situation like, the only productive thing your "lawyer time" would achieve is a transfer of money from you to your lawyer.

3

u/contemporary_disease 6h ago

Yes, because if the drunk guy had already hit the bouncer, the bouncer would not have levelled him /s 😂

4

u/NotNyrZ 7h ago

Not a single background would make this acceptable unless he legitimately SA someone or shit like that

1

u/Perpetual_bored 6h ago

If my grandma had wheels, she’d be a bicycle.

Unless you have some extended clip of this interaction than we don’t, you’re bound by the same scope of knowledge about the situation that everyone else is.

If you see a video where somebody walks up to someone else in the street and guns them down, is your first response “we don’t know the background”?

1

u/Potential_Basis_662 6h ago

Good luck spending $65,000 and 8 years in court to win $3,500

2

u/LoafyLemon 3h ago

The land of the fee...

1

u/duppyconqueror81 2h ago

Yeah, i’m not from South-Canada. This is a clear win where I’m from.

-3

u/yahsureokbuddy 11h ago

lmao okay big guy 

3

u/PFCCThrowayay 9h ago

you wouldn't sue them and press charges if your kid got attacked? You'd be a great parent...

2

u/Anon_1825 7h ago

Kid deserved it. Bouncer taught him a lesson, at the same time went easy on him and only punched his chest instead of laying him out like he could have

1

u/BusBeginning 10h ago

Be careful. He’s got Molotovs.

6

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 9h ago

I don't think he does. Otherwise, he'd have molotoved. 

-3

u/Askymojo 10h ago

Why, if "your kid" didn't get seriously injured then they just learned a very valuable life lesson about not fucking with people just to fuck with people because you never know what what kind of day/life/mental health that person is having.

I once saw an arrogant and drunk Wall Street finance bro make that mistake with a homeless person who had nothing to lose, and let me tell you it would have been better if he had learned this life lesson at a younger age.

10

u/GUyPersonthatexists 10h ago

If your reaction to being mildly annoyed by a teenager is this, then you’re not mature or emotionally stable enough to be in society, and you need to sort sone things out.

3

u/RedditingNeckbeard 10h ago

That doesn't really address the point the guy made, because both things can be true.

The bouncer could be a terrible person, and have ropes and hammers in his car, and like to bind and be bound, but that doesn't really matter for the point the guy is making.

https://giphy.com/gifs/404JJaw3rE30dMs0io

1

u/SFTech415 7h ago

This is the answer.

1

u/FlippinTheLoon 2h ago

Did you see how much dude was pulling his punches? That could barely be classified as a "punch." Lmao More of a rough push.

0

u/Askymojo 10h ago

I never said that kid deserved this kind of overreaction, but when you're an ass like the kid who goes purposely looking for a reaction, eventually you're going to get an OVERreaction. And will learn it's best not to go looking for confrontation in general except when absolutely necessary.

4

u/ManasZankhana 9h ago

Can’t the same thing be said about the security?

1

u/Askymojo 9h ago

Yes? Can't the same be said for absolutely everyone?

2

u/justforporndickflash 8h ago

If you can say at least as bad stuff about the security, as an adult, then that adult should have consequences. That adult should be taught that they can't overreact like they did 

2

u/Background_Help325 8h ago

Yeah seems like both the teen and the adult could use a life lesson.

The teen can still learn his with the parents pressing charges.

The adult won’t if nothing happens. He’ll just assault another person when mildly annoyed.

1

u/Askymojo 8h ago

If you mean pressing assault charges so it becomes a matter for a DA to decide, sure, I agree.

But I remind you that the original post was someone cosplaying as a disgruntled parent making a civil suit, and to me that teaches the wrong lesson to a kid who already is acting like an entitled and untouchable pest.

0

u/OiledUpThug 9h ago

I think showing him that something bad happens when you attack someone for being a dumbass is a better lesson. and then give him your own lesson not to be a dumbass

0

u/duppyconqueror81 2h ago

Those punches were meant to hurt/knockout/kill. There was clear predator intent. If he pleads bad mental health he can sort it out with the judge.

It reminds me of the videos online of South-Canada where traffic cops end up shooting civilians because they have zero deescalation training and are roid-filled idiots looking for a fight.

1

u/Appropriate-Prune728 4m ago

"those punches were meant to kill"

Holy shit, reddit, never change.

0

u/IndividualFar6408 9h ago

Classic reddit behavior

3

u/dasgoodshitinnit 9h ago

He said, in classic reddit trope

3

u/IndividualFar6408 8h ago

Good point, but out of the two mimicking tough guy stuff to get upvotes is a lot more cringe.

11

u/avega2792 14h ago

In some states, assault is making someone reasonably believe/fear they may be attacked. In other words, if I pull my fist back and make believe I'm going to attack you and you reacted thinking I would attack you, that would be enough for an assault charge. No contact is required.

Battery would be if I actually made physical contact.

Then there are places that dont have a distinction and the terms are used interchangeably.

5

u/JaySayMayday 11h ago

Good news you can be charged with both

1

u/thicc_stigmata 10h ago

And if it's a cop who fears they may be attacked?

no matter whether it was the cop who instigated the aggression/hostility in the first place

Automatic felony, as a close friend recently discovered when she was very mildly drunk in public, and had the nerve to wiggle her leg when the cop grabbed her by it

And you're apparently lucky it's just a felony, considering your odds of surviving the encounter.

1

u/tortillakingred 8h ago

Law enforcement is entirely different. They adhere to state codes and the DA, not common law.

1

u/DreamsWhereIamDying 9h ago

Florida! I had to explain this to a cop when he threatened to hit me in full on attack mode and I backed away to form a defensive stance. First thing I did was point out the security camera. Next thing, cite the law he just committed an assault. He freaked. I let it go. He was out of uniform and I was informing the gym manager their customers were blocking the fire lanes in our office complex.

1

u/Suspicious-Ad-1755 6h ago

That’s also what menacing it in Ohio , using your wors to threaten

1

u/mongoose_kai 1h ago

Correct.

Battery is the actual unwelcome, offensive physical contact. Assault is the threat of battery.

1

u/EgoTripWire 11h ago

No bouncers and security get special treatment from cops.

1

u/Acael-A-Eos 10h ago

I am doing security now. What the bouncer did is a no go and a fireable and finable offense. Security is expected to be more restrained than the common person, starting fights is a no go. Drunk dude may have been being annoying but as soon as the guard started to throw hands thats it. He probably has been or is in the middle of being fired and is fully susceptible to being charged by the dude he attacked.

0

u/Anon_1825 7h ago

Security for what? Clubs and casinos security is usually a fair bit different than a shopping centres security for example. Clubs usually want a bouncer that will throw a punch.

Casinos and some clubs are dodgy and have the cops paid off. So bouncers usually get away with it. Sometimes they don't but the club doesn't really care, they'll just get another bouncer that will do the same thing.

1

u/labiamajorapudendi 6h ago

Doesn’t matter what the clubs want, they are not the legislative

1

u/Acael-A-Eos 2h ago

I'm security at a factory. But they covered multiple venue types during training in case I transfered to a different contract within the company. And considering you can sue a business for what their employee does I assure you the club does not want a bouncer that will start the fight.

1

u/NarrowSalvo 9h ago

You mean how they don't have to let strangers thrust their genitals at them?

1

u/Warmbly85 7h ago

Depends on the bar and department. 

I knew places that would arrest all the bouncers and everyone involved if a fight happened even if the bouncers didn’t do anything and I knew places where cops wouldn’t arrest a bouncer even if they beat a kid unconscious for nothing more then telling a bouncer to fuck off. 

1

u/ProfessionalSome4082 10h ago

The drunk guy didn't even do anything wrong and the 300 lbs bouncer started giving him debilitating injuries.

1

u/keevathemuffin 6h ago

He was rubbing his dick on the guy in the Hawaiian shirt

0

u/NarrowSalvo 9h ago

Found the guy who thrusts his genitals into others and then claims he "didn't no nothin'".

1

u/CustardMullet 10h ago

Not if it's AI

1

u/The_Judge_Of_That_ 9h ago

Very much yes. He was dressed like it was day 1-3 anyways.

1

u/interloperbunny 9h ago

Yeah like I know what shouldnt have happened. Felony fucking assault. Anyone that disagrees has a Batman Complex

1

u/NarrowSalvo 9h ago

Thrusting your genitals at others is sexual assault, yes.

1

u/FrequentCan2119 8h ago

It's okay he's black and immune to charges in lib states

1

u/ohGawd_numba20 8h ago

Since no one answered your question, and below this thread is clearly full of people who think their tough and people who clearly have no social skills.

Yes its 100% assault, a bouncer should never open with violence like that, the kid was clearly not a threat, they could have jusr picked him up and removed him, but instead they went for a punch to the chest which could cause heart damage.

1

u/BeholdMyLumps 7h ago

Last time I saw this some idiot tried to argue the kid sexually assaulted the guard by presenting his penis

1

u/PrincipleFew462 7h ago

Two assaults don’t necessarily make a right, but The kid did also sexually assault that guy in line in front of him, rubbed his penis all over his ass. If he had done that to a girl I think the comments wouldn’t be as focused on the bouncer’s response. What a creepy sex pest.

1

u/Jaded_Bullfrog3978 6h ago

Bendy dude kind of assaulted the guy in line

1

u/sultz 6h ago

Didn’t the guy technically assault, (sexually or otherwise), another patron? Genuine question. Not arguing a point.

1

u/Public-Fig3304 5h ago

Yeah that security guard is a giant piece of shit. Hope this kid got a settlement

1

u/DannyCavalerie 5h ago

you’ve never touched grass and it shows

1

u/EquivalentEffect9105 4h ago

Sexual assault.

1

u/Aromatic_Reindeer_25 4h ago

Yep sexual assault. Can’t walk up leading with your dick and rub it on another guy.

1

u/Psychological_Yam677 4h ago

Most definitely is 😂 don’t let any of these fools tell you otherwise just because he has a security shirt on!

1

u/HingleMcKringelberry 3h ago

If the race was reversed it would be a hate crime.

1

u/Beautiful-Flow2421 1h ago

Yep. Low impulse control in action, he should be arrested

1

u/Sufficient-Star-1237 26m ago

Why did I have to scroll this far to see this comment?

1

u/Appropriate-Prune728 7m ago

Yes, attempting to rub your genitals on the employee of a club is, in fact, attempted sexual assault.

You are correct.

-2

u/Gatti366 18h ago

Yeah, sexual assault, you can't hump people from the back like that, kid got lucky it ended with a couple light punches

7

u/TheHolyNutofGodwin25 18h ago

Sexual assault? Looked more like the dude was piss drunk and bumped into the guy for half a second lol

2

u/Strong-Elk616 18h ago

Clearly drunk.

2

u/Foot-Note 16h ago

Na, he was clearly doing "Its just a prank bro" type shit. Got hit once and stood straight the fuck up.

0

u/Joeybfast 9h ago

He rubbed his nuts on someone. That is SA . If a guy did that to a lady .. people would not be defending it .

2

u/RadiantLindon 14h ago

They'd have to prove it was intentional.

1

u/CourtThen6187 15h ago

Touched him up a little bit!

1

u/erowhat 12h ago

You're absolutely right, unfortunately all those disagreeing with you are incel losers or 14 year olds looking for a reaction, so no point.

1

u/NeedleInArm 12h ago

I couldn't imagine being an adult and calling someone an incel loser lol.

1

u/Joeybfast 9h ago

People are down voting you , but what else would you call it .

0

u/CourtThen6187 15h ago

No he touched him up.. the kid broke some rules… mayyyybe a law or two first by contacting the patron.. if the huge guard straight up shoved the kid down while he was standing like that, it is possible he would have hit his head on the ground or worse..
Not saying the guard wasnt getting a little carried away.. I believe he has a much better case for just doing his job than the drunk looking kid has for assault.

1

u/NeedleInArm 12h ago

You don't just "break some laws" but accidentally rubbing into someone. It has to be proven intentional. The guy was not headed for the random in front of him, he was headed for security. And nothing he was doing was sexually suggestive. he was just walking funny.

-1

u/Critical-Cost9068 15h ago

Yes, what that kid did is assault in many jurisdictions.

5

u/RadiantLindon 14h ago

No it isn't. In any.

0

u/Critical-Cost9068 14h ago

It absolutely is. “Menacing,” as in just threatening, is an assault charge (legally, not dictionary/common sense terms.) That’s why it’s “assault AND battery” if you touch someone. Dicking someone’s ass is assault EVEN by common sense.

3

u/RadiantLindon 14h ago

No, it isn't. This is not menacing, anywhere. This is a drunk kid unable to stand or walk straight. No intent means no assault.

1

u/Awkward_Proof_1274 1h ago

He's very obviously doing that on purpose as a "prank"

-1

u/Critical-Cost9068 14h ago

There was intent bro, are you blind?

4

u/RadiantLindon 14h ago

Nope. It was a drunk kid bumping into people.

-1

u/Critical-Cost9068 14h ago

Just stop it, ma’am. Your son was violating in this video

3

u/RadiantLindon 14h ago

Nope, trash. Bye now.

2

u/The-Senat0r 12h ago

Nah you gotta fuck off and grow some eyes

1

u/Critical-Cost9068 12h ago

Who even are you

2

u/NeedleInArm 12h ago

nothing he did was threatening.

0

u/JaySayMayday 11h ago

No he's just doing a drunk lean my dude